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I have, he speak to her on phone occasionally. I was letting her text him but got to the stage he wasn't even replying and she was getting upset at him not replying so I just put a stop to it and said phone wasn't working any more (she used my old one). I've asked, pleaded, told him what it's doing to her (and me, hence sleeping tablets) but as of yet he's not even responded. At a complete loss. How do you tell a 7 year old her dad doesn't want to see her??? Heartbroken watching her every night cry asking when she can see her dad.
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On the phone he always says to her "see you soon" - but never follows through. The other night she said to me "mummy I've been such a patient girl waiting on daddy coming to see me and I know I will see him soon but I just want to cuddle him" - I let him know she wants him in her life, always let her know it's her choice etc and she desperately wants to see him but feels like he's just stuck his head in the sand
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Then maybe you need to tell him to tell her what's going on - unless you tell her that he's poorly and he's doing his best, but that it might be a while...
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Starla I'm not gonna lie, reading this thread is really hard for me. I know just how heartbreaking it is for you to pick up the pieces when he lets her down. You need to put a stop to him speaking to her. All these conversations are doing is prolonging the agony. If he wants to see your daughter fine but the two of you arrange it between you and have her ready but don't tell her it's happening until he shows up. This way if he backs out she doesn't have to suffer the disappointment.
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Is there any reason, do you think?
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Yes Paula, I don't really want to post on a public forum but yes there are lots of triggers which have happened which I believe have set off severe depression for him. I have tried to reach out to him, help, back off, give space, offer support, offer to try come up with a plan etc etc but he's just totally shut us out completely. While it's had to accept I understand his behaviour is not "him" it's devastating to watch the destruction it's causing. I know there's nothing I can do unless he lets me but I feel so hopeless when it come to supporting our daughter through it all.
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Sweetheart I'm so sorry. I truly he quickly understands the impact his behaviour is having on your little girl
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Messaged him earlier to tell him I feel at crisis point with everything. His family pulling me in one direction to see their grandchild/niece. Him another, the wee one another again. Work now referring me to O/T as I've been off 5 weeks with a Drs line for another three weeks.
Told him how bad situation is here. How stressful and unending everything feels. Anxiety back today majorly, Sertraline had really helped it although not much else.
His reply was "I'll phone soon"
I punched the wall. His version of soon is anything from a day to 6 bloody months right now.
Took a zopiclone at 10:30pm in hope that it might calm me and send me off to sleep, hoping and praying for 3rd time lucky but as of yet still laying here wide awake a million things in my head with no logic or sense to them :(
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Sweetheart punching walls isn't going to help anyone or anything.
Do her grandparents see her?