Those elf’s sound gorgeous!
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Those elf’s sound gorgeous!
Hopefully they will be when they are all fired. Suffering a lot from anxiety tonight. Don't know why but it had been a bad day for anxiety all day, starting with a nightmare shopping trip in Morrisons. I have tried to keep myself distracted with sewing and art related stuff but now it is getting near bedtime it is getting worst. I dare not take a lorazepam as I see the nurse at 9 tomorrow and I don't want to over sleep.
How did you get on last night? Did you tell the nurse everything?
How are you feeling?
I am a bit rough this morning. Saw the diabetes nurse just now. Everything was going well till she checked my urine sample. A finger prick test followed and she told me my blood sugar was nearly 3 times what it should be. Oppps. Now was it that Costa black forest hot chocolate yesterday? Or the bag of chocolate raisins? Or the tin of peaches in syrup? Or the can of full sugar coke, Or the biscuits at bedtime? Surely not...(think)(shake)
Oh no! Are you just not looking after yourself properly?
No. I know I should be taking more care but I am just not bothered. I think that if it shortens my life then good
Pen have you told the Dr or the Diabetic nurse that's how you are feeling?
Pen, I’m going to be blunt (again, im sorry). Not taking care with your diabetes can ultimately lead to stroke and heart disease but way before that you’d be looking at leg and foot infections (potentially leading to amputation), vision loss and kidney failure. Do you really think you want to live your life with those complications?
Ok. I will try harder.
Have you told the Dr/nurse that you were feeling this way?
There is a huge point. If you’re not honest with them, they can’t help you
It did not come up in the meeting. There was no reason to say anything about it.
Don't worry though. I am fine. The feelings of wanting to end it all come and go and I get through them.
There is every point.
Of course there is. If you are thinking that this will be a way of shortening your life, then you know that screams that you need to get some help.
I know, but if you don't look after yourself then it's going to be harder to give yourself the best chance.....
I will try to look after myself a bit better. I don't want any help. I know that there is nothing they can offer that I want.
OK... What's happening with pacing? Are you still working on getting some time out?
I know I am not pacing well atm. There is a certain desperation in getting enough stuff finished and on sale to capitalise on the Christmas season.
Even at the expense of your health and a risk of a crisis?
Yes..
Wrong answer, love
I have been trying to wear myself out to try and deal with the feelings of anxiety that have been plaguing me today. At 7 this morning I was cleaning cat pe E and worst from under the stairs so that the gas meter could be replaced at 8 o'clock. After walking the dog I setup our test kiln to do a special firing then I packed up two items I had sold and took them to the post office. I spent the afternoon glazing a sculpture I had made, then after dinner I cleaned the oven and took H to her friends. I then sorted out the recycling. I have just cleaned up the kitchen and emptied the vacuum and am contemplating vacuuming upstairs.
Did it help?
That's a huge amount to do in one day. Is H helping at all?
H does her bit. My friend is coming round this morning to clean my kitchen floor. It is annoying her as to how dirty it is lol
How's your pacing going today?
I have just had a break for some dinner now I am back out to the studio to finish glazing another sculpture and then load the kiln
Sweetheart you need to pace, you know that pushing yourself like this isn't something that you (or anyone) can sustain. You need some downtime love....
I have just finished work. All safely stowed in the kiln. There is very little I can do now till Friday when I can unload it and take the spoils down to the shop.
So a pacing day tomorrow?
I have a networking meeting at 10, but hope to get my feet up for a while tomorrow.
Hope the meeting is easy and nice, and hope you're resting this afternoon!
The meeting was very productive. Having an hour watching tv before I go and do some work.
Hope you've rested lots lovely x
I rested for an hour. Did some glazing. Loaded the kiln. About to do the kitchen then may do some cleaning.
Leave the cleaning.... rest.
Just done it
Then rest - and that doesn’t mean sitting down doing paperwork .....