Completely agree!
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Completely agree!
It’s a good job Si doesn’t count on you to do the cooking ;)
J would agree with you all
Why don't you agree?
I don't know. Maybe my upbringing, my mum did everything while my dad worked, and when my mum went back to work they shared everything. Feeling like a failure because my body won't cooperate. Hating how useless I feel when I physically struggle to do much. I find the pain easier to deal with than the fatigue.
J has given me strict instructions to rest today. I've started the washing and not done anything else. I don't need to do much as it's a washer dryer so I don't even need to swap the washing over until it's dry. He even ran me a bath last night and made me go and relax with a book. I just find it very hard to sit and do nothing.
At the moment, I can manage some cleaning and do what I can when I can, as he’s still working. But Si and I both know there are jobs I can’t do - eg hoovering a 3 storey house and lugging washing up and down a 3 storey house - so they're his jobs. I could feel guilty that I don’t work and he does, so why should he do any of the housework? But I don’t. Because I know, and he knows, that I do the best that I can and he would never want me making myself ill by overdoing things.
There are more important things in life than a perfect house and home made birthday cakes - like time spent with your loved ones, with your health intact
Ok so let’s look at your parents now. Do you thing they equally share everything now? Your mum isn’t any less loved or deserving of her home because she is less able to do all the housework.
I had a similar background. My Mum stayed at home, but then she went out to work too... So we did the housework and looked after the little ones.... When I was working and Marc wasn't, I didn't expect him to do it all, we had a home together, that meant that we sorted it together....
Now there are things that I can't do and I ask for help. My children have to help - they always have had to help with certain things, those things have changed since they got bigger and my body protested more...
It's about being together. You aren't a cleaner, you are an equal partner in a relationship. If the roles were removed would you expect him to do it all?
No I wouldn't. And I'm not trying to have a perfect house, just a clean and tidy house that feels like it's my home. At the moment, it doesn't. It feels like their home and I'm just a guest here