-
Yes, it is designed for multiple use.
Unfortunately, not in the best mood, because still an unpredictable situation.
No flights and travelling till July. Latvia is coping much better, they partially adopted the Swedish model, but with more restrictions. The death rate is rather low but people comply more with the rules.
-
Are you really that desperate to get out of the country?
-
Not exactly forever, but willing to get somewhere abroad, to get some relax somewhere far away from the occurred tragedies.
As for final decision, not sure yet...
-
When were you hoping to go? And where?
-
I thought of seeing my Dad. It will be better in summer time or September, it is rather cold there in late autumn and winter. But I doubt I can afford this year in this season exactly, there are no direct flghts either and it is hard to make an exact plan by now.
Regarding my lost trip to Paris, the flight company contacted me some time ago and informed that my flight has been rescheduled for November. So I can go for a few days and book direct flight back, if there is no other coronavirus outbreak this year.
I am a bit frustrated as I cannot fix any dates now.
-
I think everyone is in the same position all over the world. I know lots of my friends have had their holidays cancelled - my own daughter had her residential school trip to Rome cancelled and they can't reschedule.. We were told here not to expect to be going abroad this year...
-
Yes, there is some hope.
I don't know about Paris, but visit to my Dad with 4 different flights...I can lose more money and he can wait till next year, if I am not ready financially due to the world situation. I think he cannot put the blame on me this time.
-
Hunni, he shouldn't be blaming you for going anyway! It's your choice!
-
I haven't written for a while, thank God overcame a rather horrible month of June.
First, my cat fell ill, it is related to renal problems and I have never dealth with it before. So I changed one vet and now the things seem to be finally better.
Then, my boss got very mad again and unwilling to pay people on time. But the other local agencies' situation is even worse. So I kept silence for a while, then told her that I if the situation becomes insupportable psychologically, I will not be able to normally work in such a toxic environment. She replied that it is "shameful for young and pretty women to be depressed". In the end, she agreed that time to make the ambiance easier or maybe she was afraid I will go to my dad (of course she is unaware of the details of my relation with him).
As for my dad, from one side, he understood that the current situation does not depend of me, but, at the same time, he made me feel guilty that I was not able to be there at his 65th birthday. Although he calmed down, our connection is poor and he is callng me less than before and I doubt I will be able to get to his place this year. There are many reasons for this, and no direct flights.
A local friend supported me that time too, although she is mostly with her parents in the south of country. Anyway, she is the only person who knows about my mental struggle without judging or blaming me, here many people cannot grasp the real meaning of mental illnesses.
As to the medication topic, the doctor advised me just to increase the valium dosage in critical periods.
I am also feeling happier because my online boyfriend reconnected with me. He revealed he has also been coping with strong psychological moments since the closure of everything in France, but now the things seem to have got back to normal there. I wondered because he is often smiling, he said that smiling does not mean the lack of any inner mental struggles, it is just his psychological type.
-
It's good to see you!
Glad that things are better with your cat.
Sorry about your boss, but this is something she does all the time. I'm glad you stood up to her. Are you looking around for alternative employment?
You couldn't get to your Dad's for his birthday because of a global pandemic. He had no right to make you feel guilty! It wasn't exactly something you could control! It shows exactly what kind of person he is....
I'm really glad you've opened up to a friend and finding them supportive and non judgemental. That's so important.
When did you last see your Dr? Are you only taking valium? What dosage are you taking a day?
So glad he was able to reconnect with you - it's difficult to understand why he completely shut off without saying anything to you....
-
Now nearly 0 alternative jobs or with much less wage, many different agencies generally closed or stopped their activity.
On his birthday day, after we exchanged a few words, he promised to call me back, but no signs yet...
I talked to Dr.by phone or online basis. She advised 10 mg/ 3 times per day, but at the same time asked to slow down or even not taking it at all in some days, if possible. Yes, only this medication.
-
I didn’t realise you were only taking Valium. I’m afraid I assumed (which I should never do) that you were on anti depressants. Is there a reason why you don’t take ADs? Hunni, having been on Valium long term, I know that in the UK our doctors really don’t like us taking them - they are extremely addictive and usually would only be used for very short term issues
-
I know, so I guess that is the reason the doctor is afraid of addiction too, asking me not to take it the whole week. Before New Year, the local GP considered additional tests to see, if I can "freely" take ADs.
When I was ready for tests, the pandemic began. The medical centers do not work normally work here (now) due to pandemic, so in case of urgent help, the people are headed to emergency unit or go themselves. My country is still in red zone unfortunately.
-
So hang on....you need to be tested to see if you can take ADs but they are happy to dish out Valium like sweeties? That doesn’t make any sense to me.
-
I’m just surprised, given how long you’ve been struggling with depression, that the local GP is only now considering ADs. Do you know what tests they needed to do?
-
Not sure, I thought she was thinking of allergies, but she told me it is mainly related to kidney/liver function.
She is not considered too competent anyway, but local specialists generally avoid to prescribe ADs.
-
Do you know why they try to avoid anti d's?
-
Not sure, but they said based on my previous liver tests (ultrasound and family history).
-
Could you try to get back and see them and see if they would consider it rather than valium only which is so addictive.
-
I’m with Suzi - Valium is not the best option for anybody imho
-
I have never felt so frustrated in my life.
A year passed since my mom's death, life goes on. Although the pandemic situation is hard in my place, the professional activity had not stopped and even improved.
But I am feeling low and really willing to change location for a while, I cannot even take a holiday to nearby countries.
My Dad has called me these days and yes, he told me he understands my current situation and that is hardly possible to travel anywhere. He had left his part-time job in order to take care of his old mother. His girlfriend is not involved too much. However, he asked me if that is really impossible for me to take a bank loan and leave to the bank my apartment. For this, it is a big NO. Then he told me he expects me next year there and that I will live together with him.
Besides my depression, there are many questions here.
I know Latvia is better than my country in legal and medical systems. But I should start everything really from the beginning. Maybe I am lazy, I don't know, but I don't want to learn one more language and to lose my time. Dating? About the same opportunities as in my country, as most of Latvians had gone abroad in the other European countries.
When I had been unemployed in my country and asked them to remain there (around 7 years ago), they refused not to spend money on me. Each time he calls me, he insists he cares about me and I should live with him. I am not sure at all...if he lived in a country which language I could speak to a certain extent, I would consider this without any hesitations. I am not feeling good here, but my house is my safe place. My mom's friend said that is complicated and it would be nice for him to stay for a while at my place, like on visit or vacation. Because there is a risk I will not be able to live with him there. And sorry for what I am saying, I care a bit about him, but I don't love him.
-
Oh sweetheart, I'm sorry things are difficult. I have to say that from an outsiders point of view I think moving in with your Dad is a terrible idea....
-
I’m with Suzi, and I’m especially considered he’s asked you to mortgage your home for his benefit.....
-
Selena maybe you need to really think about what you want, instead of being pulled in directions by other people.
Think about where YOU would like to live, what language you would like to be speaking everyday, where would be best for you to find work and where would you have the best chance of living the life you want to live, socially, financially, scenery you want to look at every day etc.
Once you figure out what you want then you know your direction.
-
Hi, just wanted to say thank you to all members who have supported me so far...actually for long time. I am attached to all of you!!!You have been my rock.
Wishing the best! And sorry if I don't always read and/or reply to your threads!
Feeling guilty, useless, depressed...this often and due to this...
-
Hunni, it’s a difficult time right now, so it’s bound to hurt. You’re not useless, love....
-
-
Hi, I know I am feeling guilty to complaint and to come here with bad news...
Travelling brings me some relief but now it is hardly possible...
I have been working for days and nights the last month and I have achieved a good professional succes and career in my country so far, but I failed in my private life.
Without giving any details and proving myself even more miserable than I am, what had helped some of you recover after a break up?
-
Time, a good cry, friends to tell me how wonderful I am and too good for him, a new hobby.
Not being able to travel at the moment is horrible, especially for someone who gets such a buzz from it.
You work so hard and are so clever, I'm glad you have acknowledged your success, be proud of it.... you deserve to be proud of all you have achieved.
You have not failed in your personal life. You have spent the past years looking after your mum through illness, you have been grieving and adjusting to life without this important person in your life..... that is not failing.
You may not have a significant other in your life right now but that is not failing, that is a season of your life which we have all been through.i know the longing of waiting to find the love of your life but enjoy the hobbies you can, enjoy your friends, take time to see the beauty around you.
Being in a relationship does not guarantee happiness or a fairy tale ending, the important thing is to be able to fill your life with the things you enjoy. You are so much more than a relationship Xx
-
A relationship ending is not failure - it’s just a part of life. Very, very few people get through life without having relationships breaking down. In my case, if I hadn’t have been in my first marriage, I probably wouldn’t have kept in touch with Si all those years, and now I’m married to my soul mate.
And SM is spot on, only time heals
-
I have had an online boyfriend (NO MORE ONLINE DATING if he is far away).
Our communication has been very good, for nearly a year or so. Once he pointed out that the problem is distance between us. That was back in January. He supported me a lot after my mom's death, having given his warmth. He liked me as a woman too. My mom got to have known him before her death, not in real life, but she gave her blessing. He also has been very much impressed with her life that she had raised me alone...
So I told him I can relocate anywhere, no problem and I like the place he lives (apparently!). I even applied online for an assessment to be registered for Master's degree at the local university there only to be with him...and to my surprise, they replied I can follow Master or Ph.D. studies there!
So, I bought a ticket, but corona changed my plans....The flight in March had been annulled. And I accumulated more debts on lockdown, he got depressed too.
We restarted our communication in summer. It was very beautiful, I mean he is not ideal, but his attitude was not bad at all!
I did not know if I can visit him in autumn, although my flight had been apparently rescheduled.
Then our communication stopped, he hasn't replied to my messages anymore....I accidentally saw his pic with another woman, I've got everything. And I decided to cut everything between us, because he has already blocked me too on one of his accounts, not secretly following him behind other persons....It is a bit more than a week. It is hard, but I decided to leave with my head up and dignity. Although everything is bleeding with sorrow inside of me.
This evening I have broken in tears and called my Dad. Nothing special...
I just told him about my online relationship...briefly. But his reply put me down: "Yep, unpleasant...but...damn...I wanted you to relocate here by my side, staying by my side, not with that man somewhere else. If he returns to you, then I will remain without my daughter with me."
-
Selena why would you call your Dad when you are feeling down? It’s obvious he’s only going to make things worse. As for the “relationship”, well that’s not really what it was. You were in love with the idea of being in a relationship, but for that to happen you meet the other person, spend time with them to know that you are compatible. What you had was a pen pal. You got away lightly, imagine you had travelling half way across Europe to be with this man in March? Covid did you a favour. If you want to date you have to get up and go out and meet people. People that live close enough to make spending time together regularly a possibility and get to know them.
-
Hunni, I know we've talked about all this. I'm glad you're talking here. You might get other opinions which would be great ;)
-
I don't know, I am feeling very alone now...I cannot even go to Romania for a holiday in mountains because there are many recommendations against it.
And I am feeling like being closed in a trap, my 2 best friends are in the other cities, we can communicate online but obviously less, we cannot go for a walk around.
And maybe I wanted his pity, I wanted his opinion and support of a senior man, a Dad...but I was shocked to hear that he wanted me there by his side first, not thinking about my life.
-
Selena, over all the years I’ve known you, all you’ve ever really talked about is escaping/moving countries. Maybe the appeal of this man was simply that he gave you the opportunity to leave?
As for your dad, IMO a parent’s role is to ensure their child has the means to make their own life, independent of parents, not to spend their life pandering to mum or dad.
-
For Paula - no, I liked him as a man and his attitude too. In this case, I think I would be glad just being together with him, regardless of the country.
-
But hunni, as I've said to you privately, your Dad only ever treats you as if you are his and you have to do as he says or he isn't interested in you, certainly doesn't take an interest in your life or your hopes and dreams.
RE the man in France - hunni, I understand that you had a connection with him, but love did he ever suggest to you that he came to see you, rather than you making the journey to him? I also have to point out that you travelling to see someone in another country is REALLY risky. You do not know that he is who he says he is. It's really easy to be someone you aren't online...... You could be travelling into complete danger.
-
I have taken a holiday leave scheduled for beginning of November, but my first CBT appointment is scheduled for next week.
I hope it helps.
-
I'm really glad you're doing this.
-
A nice break from work sounds lovely. All the best for starting your cbt.