-
You've been through so much... But it doesn't mean it's always going to be dark..... I know that my physical disabilities are degenerative, and I know what my prognoses are - BUT there are always god times, moments of lightness etc.. I'd urge you to join in with our Fab 5's on a Friday where we look for things in our week (Fri to Fri) which have been positive or made us smile. It's not always easy, but there are moments there.... It helps to break through the darkness.
-
Absolutely agree with the Fab 5s. It can be so hard to start off but things like getting out of bed, cooking a meal, hearing a favourite song, enjoying a cup of tea, the sun shining etc. can bring a small amount of relief, even if it’s short lived, to a dark day and should be celebrated. As time goes by you will become better at spotting the positives and will see the change that makes to you overall.
-
I understand what youre saying but sometimes and somedays, it's so so hard to see the point of "why should I continuing doing everything that i'm doing if nothing good is going to come from it?".
Thanks for the invite, I will certainly give it a go! I do a similar thing where every sunday night, I write down moments that made me happy during that week and then open all the notes at the end of the year. Someday, I dont have anything to write in it
-
Something good WILL come of it all lovely. You are only young (I know, I know don't roll your eyes as I'm sure you're fed up of people saying that) but you have so many opportunities out there. This won't last forever...
-
Haha I did roll my eyes a little bit. Whether good things happen or not is another question but all I want is the pain to stop
-
I thought you might.... I thought my world would end when I was much younger, it didn't, that pain ended and things changed... I promise, things will change for you too.
-
Well thank you for support. your experience does re-assure me
-
Comedienne Sarah Millican was quoted as saying “Don’t wait for a light at the end of the tunnel. Stomp on down there and turn the (swear)(swear)(swear)(swear)er on yourself!” It’s up to us to take back control is our lives and if that means just taking our meds daily, or pushing yourself to get out of bed every day just do it. Eventually it gets easier and you can make the next step, then the one after that. It will get better but you have to make it happen.
-
Nice quote. I mean I hate giving up, especially on myself and so I know I wont but there still has to be reason to not give up. It's hard to find that reason
-
-
Well I suppose youre right. I'm having a better day today cause me and my mum had a long heart to heart chat about things yesterday. She's aware of my depression being worse since the increase in dosage has affected my mood.
I wanted to ask, how to i join fab 5s tomorrow?
-
There's a separate sub-forum for it. Suzi (or one of the admin team) will start a thread for this week and you just need to reply to it there :)
-
Yay! I like being right ;)
Absolutely, wait 'till tomorrow - you'll find the right thread ;)
-
:) sounds good!
does anyone know of any good videos/books I can read/watch about mental health? I'm really interested in that sort of stuff
-
It depends what kind of thing you are looking for... You could start with the factsheets that Paula has posted here...
-
just light read or videos that someone has found useful to them?
-
I don't know of anything off the top of my head... but I'll think..
-
So my best friend is currently in Australia and met a girl there so he's been hanging around with for some months now and he bought her a car, a phone and they been spending every minute together. I don't at all like my best friend in a romantic way but everytime I try to speak to him, he's always going on about her and he's having tree he best time of his life and so he's more concerned about this girl. Which again, is understandable. But the whole thing makes me feel uncomfortable and when I really think about it, 1. Although I should be happy for him, I can't fully be happy, 2. I feel like a bad friend and 3. It makes me feel like "left out".
Most of my friends are in a relationship and I'm not one to be upset about that normally but now it's really hard to accept because all those people remind me of what I lost. It makes me feel like everyone is against me and purposely trying to rub it in my face and it reminds me of the love that I have lost. What do they all have that I don't?
-
It's normal to feel "left out" when your best friend is in a new relationship... And I know that you'll be thinking "why can't I have that?" But it doesn't mean you won't in the future...
-
You're right. I really wish I could see things the way everyone else does
-
-
You will, lovely, you will. And in the meantime, we’re here for you
-
I'll just leave you these (bear) (panda)
-
Thank you all! (bear)
So a revolutionary thing that happened over the long weekend...I woke up yesterday feeling grumpy about all the house work I had to do and my phone went off. I thought it was just a notification. But it was actually my best friend of 10 years who I havent spoken to in 2 years. We had fallen out 2 years ago and never spoke again and I never thought we'd ever speak again. Yet she messaged saying that she was sorry for everything. I ran to my mum to tell her and my mum said "well thats the thing, you always think that you're a good person who tries to do the right thing but bad things always happens to you but good things do happen, they have just taken you a little longer as will other things". I think I actually have a tiny bit of hope now...I was expecting it to happen at all.
-
Oh that's so amazing. I've recently got back a friendship from 20 years ago so I understand that feeling! I'm so glad for you!
-
That’s absolutely wonderful! I’m so chuffed for you :)
-
Thank you! I'm really happy about it too! We've put everything behind us and have decided to meet up once the lockdowns over :) I didn't think something like that would ever happen. Suzi, I'm happy for you too! This event has truly given me hope that maybe good things may happen again.
-
-
Yes for sure. However I've been thinking since the morning and I also think it's life cruel to run everything in my face. My best friend is still happy in her relationship of almost 3 years and she never went out, she avoided most things in her life due to her anxiety and yet she is still happy. I have always been successful in my job, I've got a supportive family, a car to take me anywhere and the ability to be independent. I volunteer every now and then and I'm very creative. However I still lost the man I love.
A very high majority of my friends are in happy relationships and I don't remember ever having a problem with not being in a relationship but ever since I lost Joe, everything seems unfair.
-
Hunni thinking in that way isn't going to help you at all. Events and choices happened on all sides leading to where each person is....
-
I know it's not going to help me cause it is very heartbreaking to think like that but I can't stop thinking like that. I mean, its not a even a thought, it's a fact. I don't know how to handle the feeling of being not worthy. This is my depression
-
But there are so many factors. This isn't "just" down to you having depression....
-
No no, I wasn't saying that the reason was my depression. The fact that I struggle with feeling worthy is part of my depression. And how factors could there possibly be for someone to chose to be with another? It's simple the way I see it, personality and making an effort. He had the right personality but not the ability to make an effort to take our relationship to the next level.
-
Which may mean he’s not right for you. I know you think he’s your soul mate but surely your soul mate would try harder. I believe there’s someone out there for you that would walk to the ends Of the earth for you
-
Well I certainly did think that he was special and the worst part is that we both liked each other. Maybe people only move mountains for people who worth it? But his issues were too much for him to deal with. It's nice that you believe that but I'm prepared to ride this one on my own.
-
A friend shared this with me at the weekend. Please excuse the occasional bad language but the message is so true.
https://youtu.be/C5WxLrDnkFg
-
Brilliant link Stella. Absolutely spot on!
-
-
Wow. Thank you so much for sharing that Stella. I let out a few tears after watching that. And Matthew Hussey is great. I need to start telling myself that Joe was not the right guy
-
He may have been the right guy for that time, but he's not your forever guy....