That post is awesome!!!!
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That post is awesome!!!!
I've been worrying terribly that my psychologist was really peeved at me for missing my appt last week. She had phoned and I didn't answer because I just couldn't. I had phoned her back and left a message for her that I was returning her call etc. She hadn't got back to me and i thought that I had completely blown it.
She has just phoned and said she was off and that was why she was only phoning me back now. I have an appt for next week so that is one worry off my mind a bit.
Now I just have to face my CPN on Friday. The closer it gets the more anxious I am about it.
Oh love you must have been so worried! So glad that it's sorted.
Why are you worried about your CPN appointment?
I stopped my ADs as I felt they were making me worse. I had given them 3 months and was in a darker place on them than not. I feel a telling off is coming but I definitely feel a bit better since I stopped them.
When did you stop them? Can I ask why you didn't see your Dr about stopping them?
I have no appt scheduled with my psychiatrist yet to have discussed it with him. My GP is great but would tell me to do nothing without seeing psychiatry as they are in charge of my care.By the time that happened I quite honestly wouldn't have been here.
I've been off them 2 weeks and although flashbacks are more numerous, my overall mood is slightly better.
This morning someone asked me to do a demonstration class that didn't suit me to do.
I said no!
I didn't feel a twinge of guilt or try to reorganised my life and my family's lives to try and make it suit.
I simply said, sorry that doesn't suit me, I can't.
A weird thing to be pleased about but it's a biggie for me.
Well done!
That's amazing! I'm so proud of you!
That’s great!
Just a shout out to everyone who is getting or have kids or family members waiting for results tomorrow. My 2 teens are getting results. I'm doing the whole "results don't define who you are" speech etc but inside my nerves are absolutely shattered. One is at home sipping tea and considering bed, the other is at a house party!!! :x
The difference in how we cope.
See you call on the other side. Good luck getting some sleep and hopes being met tomorrow.
Fingers crossed!!!
I've done the same speech! Good luck to yours!! See you on the other side!
An exam is just one result on a particular day. Good luck to all the parents waiting on results tomorrow. Our exam results came out yesterday (Tuesday) and I really pity the families going through the waiting.
My sleep has gone to pot. Gave in and had a nap today.
Took younger 2 out this afternoon to do some jobs. Home and nap. I think I'm starting to realise that I'm really not that well at the moment. 2 consultant appointments on Monday. I'm desperately hoping that they don't say admission but realise that I've not been showing them that I'm coping very well at home. Oh well. I guess its down to me to start turning things around.
Maybe admission would give you a chance to focus on yourself and try and get yourself on an even keel?
Maybe but my family don't cope when I am in hospital and that just makes me feel guilty
What are the two consultants appointments?
In what way don't they cope? Maybe it should be about what helps YOU?
I've an appointment with my psychology consultant and one with my psychiatrist .
OK, so that's going to be a long day. Is someone going with you? What self care things are you putting in place?
(bear) (panda)
I've always done appointments on my own because I can be more honest if A isn't there as I don't want to freak him out with where my head is at. Also I need him to take another day off later this week to help sort my daughter's future plans for September as I have to have my son at the hospital at the same time so he can't take another day off. I will be honest with them, I'm just anxious as to the outcome. The kids futures are so uncertain at the moment that I just can't fall apart right now. I need to keep it together for another while. If they were settled into their courses/jobs etc I feel like I could focus on me a bit but waiting for interviews etc and them looking to me to help coach them thru I just feel under so much pressure to be sharp and focussed and able to think...... i feel like I am none of these things. I wish I was strong and energetic with enthusiasm for life but I'm weak and tired and finding life all too much tbh
Sweetheart you aren't falling apart. You are poorly. You are far stronger than you think you are. You are so far from weak!
I wish you could be kinder to you right now..
Sweetheart, there’s always going to be something that stops you getting the help you need. You’re a mum, and a great one, so you're always going to put your kids first but it’s just as important that you get yourself fit and well so that your family can continue to function, together
Annoyingly, as always, Paula is right. She speaks sense and she understands as she's going in for 4 weeks for her pain course... At the end of the day hunni, I hate to be blunt, but if you are so low you are having such dark thoughts then surely it's best you get the help and get stable rather than not and ending up hurting yourself - or worse? I promise you they'd all rather you went and got the help now.
Thank you both. I hear what you're saying.
Tonight I put the mask on and we took the 2 younger ones out for a meal to celebrate their results. You are both right it's getting harder to fool them all anyway. I really struggled to join in tonight with the chat etc. I guess we'll see what happens on Monday.
How are you today lovely lady?
Today has been very flat but A and i have talked more and i have agreed to take whatever help I'm offered and do whatever they say. I'm kind of annoyed that I gave in but I guess its for the best, I don't even know what that means. My head is totally spinning.
It’s not giving in, lovely, it’s proactively taking all the support you’re offered and that you deserve
How is this "giving in?"
I think you're incredibly strong and incredibly brave to be talking things through with A and to be planning to do what is best FOR YOU right now. You are amazing. I'm so proud of you. I think you need this help, so take it. The world is a much better place with you in it lovely.
Listen to the Boss Lady SM...she knows what she's talking about. Look after you and take help whenever it presents itself.(panda)
How are you lovely? What happened at the appointments?
Thinking of you, lovely
This morning I saw my psychologist. We talked about things. She gave me some paperwork to give to my psychiatrist. I saw him later in the day. He has changed my meds and will see me again in 3-4 weeks. I will see my psychologist again in 10 days.
1 of my new meds is supposed to help my sleep. If it doesnt improve in a few days I have to contact my GP who has written instructions as to what to try.
So that's it. Day done.
Well done lovely. What meds are you changing from and to? How do you feel about it all?
You’ve got through and there’s a plan. A good day
I am back on Sertraline as it did help with my flasbacks and nightmares. They have added in Mirtazapine as it helps with sleep and hopefully will kick my mood up.
I'm staying on my quetiapine as well. Im a bit concerned as he said i could get a lot of weight gain with the mirtazipine. I know it a a silly think to be worried about but I guess I'm silly. I won't get the tablets until tomorrow as I had to take the letter from the hospital to my GP surgery and the prescription wont be ready until tomorrow.
I'm not sure how I feel. I do feel quite lost tbh.
You aren't silly... Most of my meds have "weight gain" as a side effect. I'm the size of a blue whale, I don't need more weight gain - but I do need to be able to move, to have my sleep controlled more and to have my funky migraine things controlled better. I am working on the weight loss, and I always will be.... Sometimes the weight gain is the lesser of 2 evils - I know it is for me....