You’re doing brilliantly (panda)
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You’re doing brilliantly (panda)
Glad things are not as hard today... Remind me when was the last time you saw your Dr? Are you taking any meds?
Yes i'm currently titrating up my venlafaxine after a disastrous trial on citalopram. Currently on 75mg but was on 300mg before trial of citalopram. Up to 150mg on Monday. Saw psychiatric nurse on Thursday. Appt on Tuesday again.
I'm glad you've got regular appointments. Don't be afraid to use things like the Samaritans if you need to....
Changing over meds is so hard so please be kind to yourself (bear)
Just out of hospital this afternoon following another overdose.
Only a month since my last one. I think I'm getting worse not better. Someone please tell me it's going to get better
Oh sweetheart, why didn't you come and talk to us?
How long have you been in hospital? Are you going to be seen by the crisis team?
(panda)
Oh love as Suzi said if things get tough post on here it really helps. (bear) (panda)
I was in 3 days until I was medically fit. Then seen by crisis team and discharged home with appointment for next week. I just feel so alone and unsafe which I know is stupid cos I'm home with my husband and kids but inside is so empty
Oh lovely, you are so important, I wish you could see that (bear)
Hey lovely, can you use things like the Samaritans to help stop you from doing anything? Does your husband and your medical team know that you are feeling unsafe?
Sweetheart you need to remember that you're still transitioning from one med to another, it's going to be hard for a while, but IT WILL PASS..
I feel like I'm in freefall. It's scary yet part of me just wants to crash land because then the fear of falling will be over. They took all my stockpile of tablets and I live in the middle of nowhere so I can't get out to buy more. Running out in front of a bus is looking very attractive. My husband is aware of how low I feel. My medical team just keep telling me I'm strong ill get through this but I feel anything but strong. I just want to curl up in a ball and it call be over
(panda) how are you doing? Did you get any sleep?
Keeping fighting this is something you can do.... I'm really glad you've been talking this through with your husband hunni. Do you have any chance to rest and be kind to yourself today?
Keep fighting you WILL get through this and remember the Samaritans are at the end of the phone if you need someone to talk to. I'm glad you've talked things over with your husband. (bear)
I hope you're doing OK today, I know exactly how you're feeling and how scary it can be, it does feel like it will never end but believe me it does end and you will get better (panda)
Thank you all. I got a bit of sleep. I was so tired from the hospital. I've 2 loads of washing done, tea on the go and the dog taken to the beach for a walk. I'm functioning on autopilot. So so emotionless and detached and numb. Is this how life feels from now on
No, sweetheart, this may be how life is now, but not from now on. There is ALWAYS a way through (panda)
I'm with Paula. Love being in hospital is exhausting, coming home from hospital is even more exhausting. Sweetheart you are doing an awful lot for someone who is needing to focus on themselves and getting through the day safely, rather than being responsible for the cooking, cleaning, washing etc Someone else can pick up those tasks. If right now all you can do is binge watch tv series snuggled in a duvet, then that's what you need to do. You need to just "be" right now. Maybe getting up and having a shower and putting on clean pj's is enough... Don't try to be superwoman love or you won't be giving yourself the space and kindness to get through this....
I just don't know how to do that Suzi. When my body stops moving my brain hits hyperspeed and fires everything at me quicker than I can process anything. When I keep busy physically it dulls the blue in my head
Can you try focussing on something different? Reading a book or watching a series...
I'm trying I promise.
I'm sure you are hunni.... (panda)
Fighting with your own thoughts is horrifically hard. You need to allow you time to just be kind to you - have a long bath, read a book, have a lie in, go for a walk etc....
Morning sweetie, how are you? Are you going to take it easy today?
Hey hunni, how was last night? Did you get any sleep?
I slept a bit better. Phoned my health care team today as I was really struggling with my thoughts. They helped me divert for a while. Finding it hard on my own but I'm trying. I've overdosed so many times and it doesn't work. I seem to be indestructible. My brain is firing lots of different directions trying to think of other ways I could be successful. It's exhausting trying to stop it or get drawn down that direction
It's tough to fight against your own thoughts lovely, try to be kind to you. Have you got any hobbies you can use to help distract you? I'm so glad you called the health care team... Don't be afraid to do it again...
(panda) I know it’s exhausting, love, but you are getting through - it may be minute by minute but if that’s what it takes ...... are you talking to your family?
I can talk to my husband although I hate to worry him. I've made it through another day and have not actively self harmed in any way. Thank you for your support. X
If your husband is anything like mine, he’d much rather you ‘worry’ him than bottled it all up. He knows your thoughts, lovely, so talking it through and being comforted by him is not going to change that.
Did you sleep?
Well done for not harming yesterday! That's great! Definitely talk to your husband. It's not "worry" is "support" and how can he be there for you if he doesn't know that you are struggling?
Thanks. I slept a bit better last night and was able to be up and kids out to school. Tea in the slow cooker washing on the line been to the shop. I seem to cope better when I keep very busy, only problem is I get tired so easily. Going to see if I can manage to pick up my crochet today and try to do a bit. My hands seem to freeze as if I don't know what to do or I'm scared of it or something. Same with knitting.
Wow you've done loads today! How old are your children? Did they get off to school OK?
I always find with crochet that when things are tough, sticking to a simple granny square idea is often best. Means I achieve something, but it's simple enough that I don't have to concentrate too much itms?
Good idea. I had started a top for myself and have the front and back done but do need to concentrate on the pattern for the sleeves. A simple granny square baby blanket might be the way to go. Same with my knitting. I have a beautiful Aran sweater waiting 2 years to be finished since I got sick. Can't concentrate on the pattern.
You’re doing awesomely today :)
How'd it go this afternoon love? I love Granny square blankets! You can make them as big as you want or as complicated or with as many squares as you want/need!
Awk I haven't settled to the crochet yet. I did attempt Mike's quiz mind you. Not a threat to princess sparkles in any way but it did entertain my mind for a while. I also phoned my team when I was really struggling for a while. Motivation way down the list. I'm hiding in bed at the moment.
Definitely good that you enjoyed the quiz! And you involved your team too! That's also an added positive!
So proud of you!