It's always easier to fight the monster when you know what the monster is...
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It's always easier to fight the monster when you know what the monster is...
I do talk to my girlfriend about my thoughts and feelings. I just worry that if I'm too honest, I'll end up upsetting her. So I decide to keep my thoughts to myself and I try and channel them into something more positive.
My husband aven told me that he didn't know if he loved the kids and I. Yes it hurt like hell, but so much better to know...
There's something else I'm in a real dilemma about...
Let's say I've had a gay past and I've not told her about it. I really am in two minds whether to tell her. My main worry is a friend likes to blurt things out as he thinks it's his duty too and that he's looking out for me. I'd hate for her to find out through someone else. I don't think it's his place to say anything and that it's my choice.
My reasons for not telling her are that it's a part of my past that's very personal to me and that I feel like I've moved on from, a phase if I could describe it that I wouldn't go back to. I was also worried at how she may react to me telling her and that it may change her opinion of me. Now from everything she had said about gay issues I think she is perfectly accepting but I worry that she'd be annoyed I've not told her this and it will create trust issues.
But on the whole out relationship is a good one and I don't want to dig out things from the past and risk spoiling things. What should I do?
My now husband knows all about my past and that involves my girlfriends as well as boyfriends. It's never been an issue to him and actually we've laughed about fancying the same celebrities! :)
I'd always advocate honesty.... Or you'll always have it in the background. It's also nothing to be ashamed of...
Hi Ben
Try not to overthink everything easy to say I know! But just tell your girlfriend how your feeling, good or bad. The worse thing you can do is bottle things up and keep it all inside. All that does is make you more anxious and unhappy and makes your girlfreind feel like she is doing something wrong or worse thinks everything is her fault. Keep the lines of communication open at all times. If she knows how your feeling its easier for her to help you. Believe me its much nicer to have someone by your side when your going through troubled times. Keep positive. My husband can be super hard work but worth it and I know he wouldnt have done so well over the years if he didnt have me to lean on and love him.