No need to worry about posting on others threads you can post as much or as little as you want the main thing is you keep talking, it's nice to have you around Mira.
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No need to worry about posting on others threads you can post as much or as little as you want the main thing is you keep talking, it's nice to have you around Mira.
I completely agree with the others! You are far from stupid or worthless and you are definitely wanted. It's a good thing that they are going to look carefully to get you the right treatment and help.
The lonelyness on the weekends is terrible. Since most of my friends dont talk to me anymore nobody comes around for a visit. And because of how I am I had to stop being online as much. I have given it a lot of thought and I am not capable of doing online things in a chat inviroment. I do get weird and i alienate people.
At least during the week I talk with people at work and then its way more easy to act normal. But online its harder. I had to stop online gaming. And I stopped with the chatgroup. One man from America is coming to the Netherlands this month. And we had been talking for more then a year. He asked to meet. But we don't even talk anymore. So I messed that up as well.
So what to do? If the best thing for everybody else is to stay home and be alone but its horrible for myself? I hate this. And the thoughts that come with it.
Can I ask why you don’t talk anymore? What happened to change that friendship?
Well this wont sound logical. I can even see that myself. But I guess thats what the disorder does to me.
It will go great for a while. But online it seems much easier to talk about whats going on with yourself. Even more so with people that have the same issues. But then I feel like a bother to people. And I can get whingy. So then I stop talking to people so they dont have to deal with somebody difficult. I am just so worried that people wont like me that i break it off before that time. But thats hurting me. And leaves me alone.
Even when people are reasuring me that things are fine. I cant believe it. It leaves me spiraling.....
When i am doing ok and look at what i do i go oh boy. Why? And i can see it clearly. But i get into a state pretty easy and then its all out the window.
When i am at work or in public its a bit more easy because then i know people dont like me so i can be silent and calm.
Sorry for going on and on.
Stop and take a deep breath lovely. You never have to apologise for talking here (panda)
Hunni, do you actually know as a fact that people don’t like you or is it what you believe? You’re not a bother and you don’t whinge and I cant see any reason why anybody would dislike you. I hate that you’re lonely, especially as I believe you don’t need to be, that you have people around you who would want a friendship with you. I know I would love to spend time with you, if I could, irl
Do you know what? I'd love to reach into my computer screen, give you a massive hug. I don't think it's ever going to matter how much reassurance we give you that actually we love having you around, that we don't find you a bother or whinging or anything else negative.. Until you find a way to even slightly believe that we believe that we love you then you're always going to struggle. To be honest though love, we all have those insecurities - there have been times when I haven't posted how I feel or what's going on for me because I don't think that I should burden anyone else with that... Then I get caught out by the brilliant team members and told that I should post, so I do and I start to feel better almost immediately because feeling that other people genuinely want to know how you are and genuinely care and love you is about the best feeling in the world. Start believing it lovely, because we do genuinely love you and we do genuinely care.
Thanks all.
Most of the time I do know its not true Paula. But there have been times where people just told me that I was.
I feel there are two different versions of me. The one that does believe all, the kind things you all say to me. And that has a good feeling about it.
And there is the version that feels so insecure and thinks he is horrible. And does not deserve anything.
That version is around more. And sadly i can not change it on my own. They already told me that will require therapy.
So until then i guess it will stay this way.
Thing is hunni, we are never going to be liked by everyone all of the time. There are many, many times that people who use here have not liked me or how I am but that's OK because I know that for others they do like me or how I am or at least tolerate me! lol