I was going past this rubbish tip today and saw a flock of seagulls flying over the rubbish.
I thought, who threw them out?
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I was going past this rubbish tip today and saw a flock of seagulls flying over the rubbish.
I thought, who threw them out?
What happened when Santa went speed dating?
He pulled a cracker
A man limps into th doctors and stands and says: "HELLO", DOCTOR IVE GOT A SORE BUM AND I CANT SIT DOWN". The doctor said: "There is no need to shout just drop your trousers and lean over the couch and let the dog see the rabbit". SO, the guy took his trousers down and bent over. Himmmm Th doctor went."That is odd". "Whats the matter doctor"? Asked the man. "well", said the doctor you have a mince pie stuck up your arse". "A what" said the man. "A mince pie" said the doctor. "Can you give me anything for it" asked the man. "Well" said the doctor."I could give you some cream".
What Christmas carol is sang in the desert? O camel ye faithful
What do vampires sing on New Years Eve? Auld Fang Syne
What do the workers at sports direct get for their Christmas lunch?
About 5 minutes.
What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A broken drum, you just can't beat it!
While camping one night, I remember looking up at the sky, the moon was full, not a cloud in sight. The stars twinkled brightly and every now and then a shooting star flashed by. I could make out Jupiter and Mars, the Milky way.. As I pondered upon this wondrous sight, I thought...
Who the hell pinched my tent?
What do you give to the man who has everything for Christmas?
Penicillin
I brought some Christmas presents online the other day and I used my donor card instead of my debit card
It cost me an arm and a leg