AA has asked the question that’s been whirring in my mind. What are you afraid of?
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AA has asked the question that’s been whirring in my mind. What are you afraid of?
How are you doing lovely?
So. My psychologist phoned me and asked how it was going with cmht. She was annoyed to hear they hadn't been in touch with me. I told her at the moment I am just trying to make it thru til my psychiatry appt on Thursday and take it from there. talk about a mess.
What’s her plan then to get this sorted?
What did she suggest?
She wanted to see me tomorrow but it doesn't suit me and to be honest I have nothing new to say. I know she just wants to check up on me and make sure I'm going to be ok til Thursday . She was phoning HTT to tell them that their plan hadn't materialised but to be honest the last thing I need is my cmh worker phoning me in a strop because someone's been on her back. I'm heading to the training centre tomorrow morning. I've almost finished my ecdl so I also need to decide if I'm going to stay and try any other courses. I know now isn't the best time to be making these decisions so may be they will give me a bit of time to work it out.
What’s so wrong with her just checking up on you? Surely it doesn’t always have to be a ‘how do we fix it?’ Session, particularly as you’re struggling to talk to A?
How are you today?
Hope the training centre has been good - what did you decide about other courses?
I'm ok. Putting one foot in front of the other. No decisions yet about courses etc. I'm going to try and get my head sorted first.
Paula, as usual I'm worried about being a burden to her and wasting her time. I know!
Would you try something for me? Each time you think you're "wasting someone's time" or "being a nuisance" or "being a burden" or anything can you try and stop yourself and answer with a DWD variation on the theme of WWJD? (What Would Jesus Do? For the uninitiated) I'm implementing... WWSS? What Would Suzi Say? If you think Suzi (that's me btw who is always right and has a framed certificate to prove it) would say that you would indeed be wasting someone's time then feel free to move on and not talk to that person... However if you think that Suzi (remember, framed certificate to prove I'm always right) might even a little bit say that you should take them up on their offer of help or an appointment then you are to do just that. Also when dealing with pretentious, stuck up workers who don't know how to treat people you can also use this really handy WWSS? Suzi would tell you to be polite and then ask them to leave so you can make arrangements for someone who isn't such a complete knobjockey to take their place - all with a smile on your face (and yes, I've done this too for Marc...)
OK, so WWSS??
Oh you made me laugh!!! Thank you.
LAugh? I made you LAUGH??? I, my darling, was totally serious! :) (Good, I'm glad it made you laugh!)
Out tonight to help distract. Been in all day. Glad to be getting out and even to be among people for a change.
Hope you have fun!
Hope you have a brilliant time lovely.
Don't know what I've done but I have the most horrific pain in my lower back and right hip and groin and shooting down my leg.
I so hope it's not another visit from Mr sciatica. Haven't had a visit from him in a couple of years.
That's that extra weight I've piled on recently I bet. Blooming Christmas and no willpower.
Diet is back with a vengeance!
That sounds painful. Could it be wrong movements or perhaps stress? Thats what gets my lower backpain back real painful.
Pain a little easier this morning. My husband thinks its coming from higher up and certainly there is a point up between my shoulder blades on my spine that is aching now after he pressed it. He has a good osteopath so he is phoning today to try and get me an appointment asap.
How are you doing Mira?
Im heading to the training centre I attend today but I will not be working in the kitchen!!
I hate back pain, it affects everything :(. I hope you get an appointment quickly. Please rest in the meantime (bear)
Sciatica sucks, I have that... (panda)
Please make sure you are being kind to it and you today...
Well i hope you got an appointment as soon as possible. I am on a roller-coaster myself. Trying to get some of ky hobbies going. Thanks for asking.
How are you SM?
Back sore again today andcworse tonight. A forgot to phone osteopath so just taking painkillers as needed.
Hope you can get in to see him tomorrow...
So tonight I had 6 people that I didn't know for dinner.
Yup I know.... nightmare.
It's an initiative in our church called Table for 8.
You sign up and are placed in a group with others and the idea is you get together for a meal or coffee or go bowling or something. The church is quite big so it's a way to help people get to know others.
A signed us up and offered us to host. I cooked an Asian buffet. The cooking was the easy bit, even the cleaning wasn't too bad.
But I survived. I actually had a nice time once the nerves settled and everyone had some food and they were all nice and we had a laugh.
A was happy. We used to host dinner parties a lot before I got sick so I think he enjoyed what used to be a very normal Saturday night for us.
I am proud of me to be honest. I'm knackered now. Ready for bed very soon.
I am soooooooooooo proud of you! That’s a HUGE achievement!
Ooooh! Well done!!! That's AMAZING! You really are a huge inspiration.
Well done you!! I’m so proud, you are blooming awesome!!
Wow that's brilliant, well done (clap)
Wow! That's amazing! So, do you now go to other people's houses?
Sounds like fun!
Have been very wiped today but have managed church this morning and this evening but had a 2hr nap in between.
The thing with enjoying something as simple as having a meal with people is that it can cost so much for The next day and the day after etc.
Learning what is worth the cost and what isn't is a big part of living with any chronic illness and I think I'm just beginning to understand that.
Sometimes I get so frustrated at the things I haven't the energy or headspace for. I used to be such a whirlwind and a real force of nature. I saw nothing in my way and nothing was a task too big. Accepting that life is different now has been hard and tbh I'm not exactly sure I have accepted it fully. However in accepting that this is how it is now I also need to hope that it won't always be like this. It might never be what it was again but I need to hold on to the hope that it wont always be what it is now.
I am learning to choose hope. The alternative is not that attractive.... I know I've been stuck there a long long time.
I am so seriously proud of you!!!! You are amazing!
Very positive post there SMum we may not get things back the way they used to be but we can get to a better place (if that makes sense).
Appointment for the osteopath tomorrow. Although he does a lot of other therapies so he will do whatever he thinks best. A always gets some acupuncture when he goes. He also recommends a lot of natural remedies. I am a bit anxious about going as A has told him before about my mental health problems and he was keen to see me to try alternative therapies for it. I don't need any derailing at the moment , I'm just getting back on track. Will have to be strong and keep the focus on my back, although I have had alternative therapies for it before and its been great.
Sorry waffling. That's the anxiety letting me know its there.
I'm a strong mature woman who can say , "no thank you" I am, I am, I am.
Absolutely!!...go with your gut!
I completely agree with you, adding something new may be something for a time in the future, but now is almost certainly not that time
I agree too! Go, be strong and stay on track x
Well i am well manipulated. A bit tender but in a different way than the pain before the appointment. He also did some general relaxation and showed me positions that naturally relax the body and cause you to breathe deeper and more effectively and therefore relax the body more. I also have exercises to do to help encourage and keep the new proper alignment. I had 3 issues in my pelvis, 1 at the lower end of my ribcage and 1 right up at my neck. I need to learn to relax properly ( no (swear)(swear)(swear)(swear) Sherlock) he has shown me ways to do that so hopefully it Will keep my body in better shape.
One of those ‘it gets worse before it gets better’ moments? I sympathise, lovely, I’m surgically attached to my heat pad tonight ;). Rest up, hun