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Walking through life.
I was thinking and I thought its ok to come out of the private sections every now and then. So I am starting a thread here. Talking about whats on my mind and how I am doing.
Just finished tea and it was a struggle. So to be nice for myself I am in the bathtub now. (no pictures haha). My body is aching.
I keep thinking about all the hobbies I liked and still like but can't be bothered to do them. The list is endless.
Reading, writing, poetry, caligraphy, learning swedish,learning. Sports etc etc.
When I think of all these things they gave me joy and I feel would still give joy. But I truly can not be bothered. And the perfectionisme is something that comes to play as well. And the putting myself down. Its a viscious circle.
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Can you change the focus of one of them a bit? Read magazines rather than books? Non fiction v fiction?
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The more you describe how you feel the more I find myself nodding my head cos I completely understand. You are like the male version of me.
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I can understand where you are coming from about not being bothered to do activities when feeling low and you are spot on in that it is a vicious circle.
One thing I read about overcoming this is to try and act against your depression and do the things anyway. This is far easier said than done.
Another thing I have found helpful is to think that the positive action creates motivation rather than the other way around. I hope some of this is helpful.
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That does sound like a good idea Paula, I will pick up some magazines later. There are some fun history ones I like.
And Stella, that makes us similar but still extremely unique and awesome :)
Hi Knowle, I consider every reply helpful even if they do not help if you know what I mean. Talking together can always give new insights and views so its all helpful. I do get what you are saying. Sadly I have a few disorders where the depressive one is part of. I think we have counted 4 so far. And they mixed together can make things difficult.
I love all the things I have written down. But if I think about doing one of them now I feel nothing. No joy or excitement but also no dislike or resentment. There is just nothing if that makes sense?
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What about instead of reading, you listen to the audiobooks? That could be an easier way in?
It makes sense to me love.
BTW I love that you've come out of the private sections. You're really awesome to me.
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Audiobooks sounds great as well. I could even listen to them while I am gaming.
And gaming is what got me feeling down right now. That group I left because I started getting feelings for one member, I am still in contact with a few members. And since I can not find another fun group I am still playing solo. We do sometimes do things together. But they are all playing in the group. So that makes me feel even more left out. I wish I could handle all of this better..
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Well you aren't being left out here love. A lot of what you write is very inspirational to others so don't forget that one! You're a clever guy too. It's hard to concentrate on any one thing when you're having a 'blip'. Keep it simple. I guess if you can think of nothing to write down then maybe you're sort of giving your brain a bit of a break and maybe that's not such a bad thing. You sound a little more upbeat than you have been.(bear)
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I'm sorry you're feeling left out on your game, but I don't know an easy fix to that one as you struggle to be in the group with that lady....
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Thanks Flo, the gaming has got me down a bit. But other then that my mood went from terrible to bland. And that is an improvement. I also don't want to write everything I am thinking and feeling in this thread because I would like to have a thread for once with no trigger warning (if possible)
So it is a bit better yes.
I did notice I had the dates for therapy wrong. No therapy today. So I am going to cycle to my mum for tea (we eat warm in the afternoon when I am home) and then I don't know what to do.