Finding it hard to cop

[Jenny]

Im not altogether sure -when it comes I will post the info for you but Im guessing its to find out what your 'needs' are/what help if any youre getting or have had in the past/how long youve had the illness for -that sort of thing but when I rang them it went straight to an answerphone so I had to leave my address details

[Flower69]

Ok Jenny, thanks for that - hope you are ok.

I went to see my doc this morning and I'm going to try Lustral to see if that helps.  I did try Citalopram a while ago and it made me really poorly, my GP said that a lot of people don't get on with Citalopram & Lustral doesn't have such extreme side-effects (the nausea/being sick/dizzy were the worse).

She wants to see me in 2 weeks so will see how I go.  Had hardly any sleep last night so feeling very rough/low today.

[Jenny]

Hey flower
sorry to hear you not too good today and glad your doc appt seems pos
I tried Citalopram last year but it made me too hyper I wanted to jump off the roof
tbh I havent really found a tablet that really works for me in the 22yrs atm Im doing without but have just changed surgeries due to lack of support
Ive got appt next week with new gp and after the week Ive had today I am exhausted
Ive actually been wondering for a while now whether Ive been wrongly diagnosed with depression and maybe just maybe its the fatigue that should be addressed so thats what Im going to mention next week and see what happens I just dont know anymore
I just think that if I get nothing from this new practice then I just wont bother anymore about anything
feeling pretty c*** myself todauy after evrything ths weekand now although Ive got a fridge that works Ive got no kitchen door -well I have but Ive been left to do it myself and I know iit will just have to sit on my landing until I am feeling ok again

[Flower69]

Hi Jenny

I am very unsure about taking tablets to be honest and am still deciding what to do.  I do feel much calmer than I did a week ago and there has been a lot going on in my life recently, some not good so had a lot to deal with.

You talk about fatigue, have you spoken to your GP about the possibility of having ME/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome?  I have had it for about 11 years now and fatigue is a huge part, along with a lot of other symptoms.  I am never quite sure if I am depressed as such or it is the ME/CFS that makes me feel down and it does make me feel very low as some days/weeks I can't even leave the house so this would make anyone feel low I think. 
Anyway, it's just a thought.

[Suzi]

Well done for going to see your GP and talking to them Flower, that's really positive.. Why not try the meds and see if they help? If not then you can always talk to your gp about changing them..
I know that Marc had awful side effects with citalopram, yet did far better on prozac. Unfortunately it's not an exact science and it's a case of trial and error..

[Jenny]

Hi Jenny

I am very unsure about taking tablets to be honest and am still deciding what to do.  I do feel much calmer than I did a week ago and there has been a lot going on in my life recently, some not good so had a lot to deal with.

You talk about fatigue, have you spoken to your GP about the possibility of having ME/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome?  I have had it for about 11 years now and fatigue is a huge part, along with a lot of other symptoms.  I am never quite sure if I am depressed as such or it is the ME/CFS that makes me feel down and it does make me feel very low as some days/weeks I can't even leave the house so this would make anyone feel low I think. 
Anyway, it's just a thought.

thats what Im thinking tbh
it all started when I was preg with my boy who is now 21
after 9mths of being very poorly most of the time with flu/sickness and then weeks  trying to recover from an accident which I nearly broke my leg and a 43 hr labour ending in forceps and an 8lb8oz/24" baby.....
I have never been able to work out whether I get tired because I am depressed or depresed because Im so tired
I know I dont sleep well most nights-lately Im not sleeping at all
and the past few weeks Ive founf it very difficult going out facing crowds and even the people I ought to be fine with I just havent got the energy for-but again with 5 people there is an issue of having been betrayed and victimised so my confidence is virtually nil

there were other things going on too attand tbh

[Flower69]

Only me.  I have been to the docs and got my AD's but I'm still unsure whether to take them or not - don't shout at me Suzi.

My reasoning is that I feel sooooo much better in myself than I did a few weeks ago and I really want to see if I can continue to feel better without the tablets.  My puppy will be ready to go out for walks at the end of next week and I think this will improve things too as I can get out and about with him (health permitting) and I will be getting some good exercise in the fresh air. 

Also some other issues in my life have been resolved to a certain extent, not easy to deal with but at least I'm dealing with them in a good way.

What does anyone think? x

[Jenny]

Hi Flower
 first did you get the info I sent  pms

as for the ADs what are they? and GP wouldnt have given if didnt think they were needed bUT Im a fine one to be saying THAT!!!!
Personally I think I would see how things go say until the weekend and at least the tablets are there if you feel te need

[Flower69]

Hi Jenny, sorry just read your message - I didn't have it set up so I get an email notification - changed it now.

Thank you for that I shall reply now................ 

I'm thinking the same as you that I will wait and see as I have the meds so can start taking then at any time.  I know the GP gave me them but she doesn't know exactly how I feel and that changes quite a lot from day to day.  If I can help things myself then I think that's better for the future.x

[Jenny]

Let me put it this way its YOUR body YOUR head that is going to be fixed-or not-and YOU thats got to deal with any side effects so i truly believe it has to be your decision but DONT be stubborn/too independent thinking you can cope without them
ATM  I am stuck between a rock a hard place and a whirlpool -without the medication as I am at the mo I am falling apart but having tried many many different tablets over the 20+yrs and not finding one that I am truly happy with I still fall apart

[Flower69]

I'm sorry to hear you feel you are falling apart 

I really hope your appointment with your ne

[Flower69]

I'm sorry to hear you feel you are falling apart 

I really hope your appointment with your ne

Didn't quite finish this

new GP goes well and they can help you in some form.

I don't feel that bad at the moment so am going to see how I get on for the near future.  I am able to think/see things quite clearly at the moment and have perspective on things which I think you lose when you feel low.  I am certainly not being stubborn and if I feel I need to take the tablets I will.

[Jenny]

thank you for that

[Flower69]

Oh dear, feeling low again today and not sure why as felt ok yesterday.  I haven't been sleeping very well lately and last night was worse than usual.  I take ages to fall asleep then keep waking up with a sort of shock/panic feeling, almost as if someone has shaken me awake and frightened me - my heart races and I can't swallow properly.  Then it takes me ages to get back to sleep and it happens all over again.  I'm also having really vivid dreams too.

I go to bed about 10pm and get up about 7.30am in the week and 8.00am at the weekends so I have a regular pattern.  I don't drink caffeine in the evening and don't eat too late either.

Anyone have any suggestions please?