Hello I am new

[Karen-Louise]

Hi everybody, I am very new to this site and have never been on anything like this before. I have not been told by my doctor I am depressed as I have not been to see him but I really feel like I am falling apart and I don;t know what to do?

I have always suffered with a Jeoaulsy issue, and it controls my life. I have been with my partner now for 2 years and we have been best friends for 7 years. We are gettign married this Dec which is not that far away at all, and I just feel like everything is gettign on top of me. I cry most days over nothing, I struggle to get out of bed each day.

I have had such a bad year so far with so many things going wrong I just don;t how how much more I can take.I feel alone and I have not told a soul how I am feeling. I have very very low self esteem which I have no idea how to get back up again. I am looking into going to see somebody for CBT.

Sorry I have gone on just was not sure if this was the right sit for me to be on???

Karen xxx

[suzi]

Oh hunni, you are so welcome to DWD. Make a cup of tea, pull up a chair and get stuck in. you will not be judged here.

hunni it sounds to me as if you could really do with someone to talk to. You sound quite lonely and alone. you arent. Everyone here has their own experiences of depression, but none of us are professionals..

the only thing that i know will help is talking and feeling that someone out there can see where you are coming from.

I think that maybe you should see your gp, at least to be referred for some counselling.

hugest hugs to you.. its horrible feeling the way you do...

[seaspirit]

Hi Hun

As Suzi says pull up a chair and keep talking,

Also please make that appointment with your gp don;t hold anything back as the longer you bottle things up the worse your problems will get.

[Karen-Louise]

Thank you so much for your message you have made me feel so welcome :-) I am too scared of going to the doctor believe it ot not. I am trying to look up today somebody who deals with CBT as thats all about how you look at yourself and hopfully that will help.

Thank you once again :-) I will have a look though some of theother threads now ;-)

xxxx

[Karen-Louise]

Hi seaspirit

Do you think it would be better though for me to find somebody to see myself? I have just moved so I have only join this doctor sugery a few weeks ago but to have an app with im is really hard. He is booked up for weeks??

[seaspirit]

I know how difficult it is getting an appointment as I am having that problem myself.
Can I ask why are you scared of going to your doctor??
Can you make an appointment with a female doc if you are more comfortable with that??

[Karen-Louise]

I am just worried he will put me on Ant Depressants to that it will take ages for him to find me somebody to talk to and I would rather look myself? I think as seen as I don;t know him and I just feel funny about talking to him about it.

xxxx

[seaspirit]

I know where you are coming from Hun believe me I do, I have had three diferent gp's in the last three years I have have moved house so much. It got to a point for me when I got so fed up of going over my story time and time again. The doc I have now is really nice and she knows about my the dislike I have of taking tablets.

Have you talked over your probs with your partner??

The best thing you can do is keep talking.
Everyone on here is great and no one will judge you.

If I ever am feeling down and need to talk things over the first place I come is here.

xxx

[suzi]

tbh if you dont want anti d's then dont take them, but I also dont see any harm in taking them. tbh if you had a broken leg then you would have the plaster on to help that get fixed, so why not take the anti d's????

If you go through your gp then yes you may have a long wait, but you will also know that the person you are seeing is actually qualified in what they say they are rather than just someone who has decided to set themselves up that way..

[seaspirit]

I was going to say that same thing, sadly there are a few people out there who take advantage of others problems.
Your gp will be very understanding and will have heard about your situation many times before.
Is there someone who could go with you????

[lizzie]

hello and welcome

can only echo what the girls have already said , but welcome aboard

[Karen-Louise]

Thanks guys, I think if other people wish to take pills that's cool but I personally do not want to take them. I just think that if I had a different out look on life it would help so much more. I went to the BCAP web site I think that's the right way , and they give you a list of people who are qualified.

My main problem is jealousy, my partner Peter, got a new job in feb this year. It's longer hours and I made the mistake of asking him if there was anybody there he fancied. He told me, after me going on and on that there was two girls he thought was good looking which killed me and ever since then I hate him working there?

I asked him why he thought they were good looking and he said he thought they were well groomed. I am not like that at all. They were both blonde I have dark brown hair they are both thin I am a size 12/14 which I know is not big but I am the biggest I have ever been.

I just hate him looking at other girls, I have even stopped going out with him for a meal or a drink as I am scared there will be pretty girls there. I am just so worried I am not good enough for him , and that he will always want something better. I know it;s silly as he is marrying me in just over 4 months now.

I think that fact we just moved in together, well 10 months now but it still feels new and we are just getting use to that and then we both got new jobs this year so just getting use to that. I am planning a wedding all by myself, I had a huge fight with my sister a month or so again that really hurt me and still upsets me.

My aunt had been in a car crash this year, my Nan has been ill,my sister has had problems with her boyfriend and has moved two hours out of London so I feel like I can't always be there for her. Sorry I am just going on and on.

I have also been fighting a lot with Peter as we are both stressed. We had a huge talk this weekend as I just broke down and said I can't do this alone anymore and he is going to help me get some help

xxxx

[Emmie]

Hello there *waves*

Well I can empathise with a lot of what you're saying, I was determined for a very long time that I didn't want to go on anti-d's, then things got a lot worse and I decided I didn't give a stuff and just wanted to not feel as dreadful! You know what's best for you as others have said there's no shame in taking anti d's they can help when/if you need them, but if you can cope without them then there is also no shame in not taking them!

I got married two months ago, it's amazing how bloody stressful it is, absolutely everything went wrong (pretty much) I was ready to throw in the towel about a million times (well maybe not that many but certainly a lot) in the end I refused to do anymore and made himself do stuff! He is absolutely useless at organising but he managed. I found giving him very specific jobs helped him as he just couldn't see what needed doing!

I don't know if you're like me but I just simply couldn't ask for help (even when I really needed it) and sent myself crackers because of it. Next wedding (no really the only thing that got me through this was that I could have another one in a few years! Oh, yes, to the same bloke!) I will ask for help from other people and I won't get hung up on the little things (easier said than done!)

Not only that you've got lots of other stressful things going on, don't feel bad about it, you've got lots to deal with! Try to take some time out for yourself everyday and just relax.

I'm in the same position as you, at the moment anti d's won't help my mood changing my attitude will, I'm having counseling at the moment and it's hard but I can really really feel the difference. You doctor will be able to refer you to a counselor and a CBT person if they've got one. Apparently you can work through the CBT books by yourself. Kerri/Jerseygirl (used to post on here now she's busy being a career girl!) did a CBT course and she told me the books, they're in the er 'therapies' section of this site under the CBT thread.

Other that that, keep talking try to eat well and exercise all that will help lift your mood a bit (hmmm now I need to listen to my own advice!)

[Karen-Louise]

Thank you sooooo much, your such a sweetie, you all are. I am so pleased I have come on here as it just shows me that I am not alone and I felt SO alone yesterday.

I think I really need to take one day at a time and not try to look too far in the future. I am in a good mood today which I am hoping will stay that way. I have not felt the need to cry which is nice for once :-)

I am meeting Peter for lunch today and he has a few CBT people that I can call. I want to check first though that they know what they are talking about. I bought the book this weekend, well the dummies book for CBT.

I had a little look through it at the weekend but will do that more this week. Thank you , it has really helped to get things of my chest ;-)

[Emmie]

That's an excellent attitude to take it one day at a time and just see what happens, we're always (well usually!) here for a chat and you're not alone on DWD because we're all in the same boat (or are very close to someone who is) :-)

(Btw I'm just off to purchase CBT for dummies too, just got an amazon voucher via email!)

[suzi]

im glad that you have found us and started to talk. keep talking. let it all out. doesnt matter how "silly" something may feel or sound to you, im sure at least one of us has felt something about something far sillier!!!

hugest hugs though

[lizzie]

im glad that you have found us and started to talk. keep talking. let it all out. doesnt matter how "silly" something may feel or sound to you, im sure at least one of us has felt something about something far sillier!!!

hugest hugs though



:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Karen-Louise]

lol great well maybe we can have alittle talk about how we are finding it :-) I have heard it;s very very good :-)

[rainydays]

HI, and welcome to the board....am just passing through ATM - but will have a proper read later

*hugs*

[mummyhill]

Hi and welcome another person just wafting through will talk to you properly later hun.