Help!!!!

[bernie25uk]

Hi everyone, ive been contemplating posting something on here for a while but things always seem to get better before I do, but not this time. Anyway heres my problem. My partner has had a really bad family life in the past, he suffered mental and physical abuse from his mum, she and his dad split up when he was 12 and she decided to tell him his dad wasnt his real dad. He went off the rails and she ended up putting him in care in the town where I live. That was when he was 14. Now he is 22 and he tried to kill himself in February after going missing for four days. I thought we were happy, but it turns out he wasnt and he had a breakdown. After that week I took him to the doctors and he was told he had depression and was put on fluoxetine and was receiving counselling from MIND. For a while he was much better, a completely different person, he was happy, optimistic and great to be around. Those tablets were stopping him from sleeping so the doctor changed them. Now he has gone back to how he was before, argumentative, stand-offish, wont show or recieve any affection and generaly miserable. I have tried to not argue back, but he has just made me as miserable as he is. He tells me all of the problems are my fault but then when I try to reason with him, its all his fault now to him. It feels like it is just him that matters in this relationship as he is ill. I know we need to concentrate on him getting better and I dont want to seem selfish but I want to feel like I matter too. I have tried relate but it was too expensive as he doesnt work because of his illness.[/font]

I hope I havnt rambled on too much but I need someone to talk to before I go crazy.

[lizzie]

hello and welcome

sorry no advice but i'm sure suzi and everyone else will be alone shortly with some

keep talking it does help and you've come to the right place everyone is great and so supportive here

[suzi]

talk as much as you want..

welcome to dwd.

give me 5 mins and i will be back with something more constructive!

[seaspirit]

:Hello2: sorry I haven't got any advice at the mo except keep talking and welcome :grouphug:

[suzi]

Right am back!

ok first of all you need some huge hugs! I know how hard it can be living with someone with depression, so i sympathise totally!

sorry, some questions!!
1) you said that the fluxotine were working for him, but were keeping him from sleeping. when was he taking those? morning or night?

2) what has he had his meds changed to?

3) do you really love this person and want to work through it, its bloody hard at times, but it can be worth it - but you have to love that person more than you can ever imagine.

i wont ever lie to you, and im sorry if i come accross as odd, but i have my own stories and stuff!

[Emmie]

To add to Suzi, when were his meds changed? It can sometimes take a while settle back down again after changing (from what I understand).

Also has he been back to the docs to say that he's still feeling dreadful?

Also have you got someone you can speak to about how you're feeling? Your own doctor, friends, family, that kind of thing to support you? (And you have us to talk to)

Oh and hello and welcome, sorry I missed that bit off!

[rainydays]

*hugs*

May be able to chip in later - Suzi and Emmie have asked all the right Q's for now :)

[mummyhill]

:Hello2::welcomeblinkiegroup1:

Sounds like you are going through the mill a bit keep talking, getting it out of your head and down on screen helps you to get perspective over it all. Also by posting here where everyone is helpfull and supportive you may find some new copping strategies. You will get asked allsorts of nosey questions but that is so that people here can understand what is going on and those of us with the relevant experience can try to guide you along what is going to be a long and difficult path. Non of us will lie to you about how difficult it can be to either suffer from depression or to live with/support someone who is suffering. You do need to have an infinite source of patience and love as well as your own support network which should in the ideal world be family, friends and of course us.

Sounds as if your partner may need to go back to the GP regarding his tablets.

Keep talking there is allways someone here to listen.

I will stop waffling now.

[bernie25uk]

hello, im back. Thank you for all of the kind posts. Things are a little better now, his moods have settled down mostly, he just has the odd bad day where argiung seems to be his favorite hobby, but I dont argue back no matter how mush he tries to push me! He is even looking to start a small part time job which I think will be good to get his self confidence and self worth back. His counselling has finished now. We had a small set back today though, one of our friends tried to kill herself last night which brought the feelings back a little. He just keeps saying how sorry he is to have put me through it when he tried. She is ok though and he wants to try and lend his experiences to her so she has someone who understands how she is feeling.

Anyway thanks again xxx

[rainydays]

Aw hunny, huge hugs for you!

A friend of mine was recently sectioned, and it hit me harder than I realised.....you feel for your friend, but it also stirs up alot of feeling for yourself.

Take care

[suzi]

I wouldnt suggest getting a job until his moods have stabalised far more tbh...