Confused

[Batty]

Hey gang - not too sure what to say really. My doc recently gave me a PHQ9 form to complete, and the results kinda shocked me. I've had a pretty lousy couple of years, but this one has been extra crummy. My friends are amazing, but don't live locally, and would be shocked if I told them how I'm feeling - I'm not really sure that I want to tell them either. I'm sure you all know the happy face - I'm the master of it. I keep being told "oh you're such a happy person, always smiling" - outside maybe, inside ... well I'm guessing most of you understand.
I'm just not really sure how or when this happened to me - never had these type of problems before. I thought I was physically ill - been feeling so poorly, but am stunned to find out that depression can make you feel this way. All I want to do is hide under my duvet, but I have to work and have to look after my parents (elderly and disabled). I can't concentrate or think straight, and just want to cry. I'm exhausted, but feel so guilty when I want to sleep. Can't sleep when i try so put if off as much as possible.
Just not sure what to do next - I've been so lonely for so long that the thought of talking to anyone is terrifying. Have another appointment with the doc in a couple of weeks, and am really nervous about what he's going to say.
Sorry to ramble - just can't seem to get anything out in a sensible order at the moment.
Nice to meet you all

[suzi]

Hi there hunni!
welcome to DWD, you have come to the right place. you can safely "let it all out" here, no one will judge you...

huge hugs for now, pull up a chair and join in!

[rainydays]

I second Suzi....loads of wonderful people here!

Vicky XXX

[Mickylass]

Hi Batty,
In my experience letting it all out helps heaps. When you see it on paper or on the screen it is easier to disect into little chunks and little chunks are easier to deal with than one whole bit. :)
Take things slowly and ask for help, you will be amazed at the warmth of DWD (I was and still am)
Chelle
X

[lizzie]

hello and welcome batty

[seaspirit]

:Hello2: and :welcomeblinkiegroup1:

You have definatley come to the right place. xxx

[Emmie]

Helloo Batty *waves* as Chelle said just take it slowly, try to break it up into chunks.

I had trouble sleeping when I was first depressed as well. try to take some time out before bed to have a bath and relax even if you don't get to sleep quickly you'll be relaxed and will feel the benefit :-)

[mummyhill]

Hello

Welcome to the group.

I second what Emmie said have a soak in the bath and go lie on the bed afterwards put the telly/radio on or pick up a book. Personally I knit or crochet till I doze off these days.

[Batty]

I feel like I'm sinking ... so much back luck lately, I just don't know how to cope with it all. Feel physically sick, and am unbelievably short tempered. So not who I am - what's happening to me lately?

[suzi]

Why whats up???? write it all down, tell us... .

[mummyhill]

:grouphug: Keep talking let us try and give you a bit of support.

[luckystarr]

hi and welcome to the group xxx