errr hi i guess

[nitromad]

well it took me anwhile but im writing this

my name gavin ive been depression since on and off since 10-11 years old but peaple just thought i was an lazy little boy but truth was i was picked on as an kid about 97% of time both at school and out of school,i had speech problem so that gave them fire power not only was it just names and insluts it was beating too, but like as most peaple say im an bloke and kept it bolttled up then i moved witch helped an bit as i moved over 100 miles away but i also lost my one true mate witch was bad even to this date i still not made any true friends that i will trust, i am now married after 3 years of married life and two boys im still in the gutter ive been to see peaple ( i was tragged by my dad kicking and screaming i might say).they helped bit but they now "closed shop" i only see my consultan every 6 months now i been to anglar coruse i used to go metal fly off at wall so to speak i don't really have any good days just worse days well that all i can put for now oh yea i am on pills two sorts.oh yea memory is kinda mess so spelling other stuff you will have to forgive me .

well bye
Gavin

[mummyhill]

Welcome to the group. Spelling isn't that important as long as we can work out what you mean.

Post as much as you want we will do our best to offer pearls of wisdom.

[seaspirit]

:Hello2: Gavin

Welcome to DWD.

Well done for taking the first step, you will not be judged here I have found this site amazing and since joining I am having less and less 'dark' days.
I am not saying I don't have any but when I do I know I can come here and offload my thoughts and feelings.

The main thing is to keep talking.

[suzi]

Hi and welcome gavin!

Nice to meet you.. for what its worth my typing is pretty bad but as long as you stay around and post a bit we will all get used to the ways that you write things and it will get easier..

welcome to DWD, you are more than welcome, so join in and chat a bit about yourself!

[nitromad]

hi all i thanks for warm welcome i will stick around i find it very hard not having anyone to talk to since gatehouse closed (thank you nhs :angry-smiley-005: ) for some reason i can't talk to anyone close to me oh im not saying next be to make me seem like an hardman but i can't cry i feel like it most days but i just can't i just clam up and im alive but noone home. some days i can go without sleeping at all and others i just not got the will power or engry to get out of bed (again peaple call me lazy)i find that i can get to sleep better with an mp3 player and clarm music ive been on about 3-4 diffent type of tablets incluing 200mg lustal some others that i can't remember off top of my head i also on some tablets to stop me "seeing thing" that to be honist most time i can't tell if real or not :( . well that me for today i might be on somtime tomarrow

thanks
Gavin

[lizzie]

hello and welcome gavin

[Emmie]

Hello Gavin :-)

[suzi]

Gavin you can talk as much as you want here, noone will judge you, this is a safe place to let out what is going on....

[darwins_reject]

welcome gavin, there is not much i can say, but this is a warm group, who except poeple, whatever there back ground, keep talking, it's one of the few things that really helps

[Emmie]

Hello Nitro *waves* sorry I can't say much my internet is very stroppy at the moment, I'll reply properly later tho :-)

[donut]

:Hello2: Gavin, you sound so lost. Well done for reaching out. The guys here are so warm and understanding, all from different backgrounds, with all different problems but with so much in common. They are all understanding, non judgemental, and always reply.

[jerseygirl]

Hello Gavin and welcome!

Well done on getting all that out - you do sound a bit lost, but hopefully you can find some fab support on here and see if maybe we can't help find you a bit!!

Keep talking, it does us lot the world of good.

[hurtinghusband]

hi Gavin and welcome to a fantastic site with some truely fantastic people

[Emmie]

Gavin, I've managed to reply twice to this thread both times not actually saying anything! sorry.

Essentially you've found a good place here, just talk about whatever's bothering you most at the time an as Kerri once described it to me, we can pick though the fluff and help you decipher what's going on.

Would it help to get a routine going, it's actually something I really must get back into myself thinking about it. It might help you sleep a bit better or get going on the no energy days?

I know were your coming from about bullying and moving. With the bullying you lose all sense of self and it's just so hard to get that back, and moving so far away is very hard. Himself confessed yesterday he feels bad because I got depressed just after I moved here, it's just so hard to adjust because as you say you leave everything familiar behind.

Have you been offered any other counseling? If you were finding it really helpful at Gatehouse it might be worthwhile going back to your GP and asking for a referral to a different one, if you tell him how helpful you found it and that your struggling a bit without it he should help you?

Good luck and keep talking to us, sometimes just removing it from your head helps :-)

[mummyhill]

Hows your day been?

[nitromad]

hi
day been ok bit fed up of weather i got new hobbie but i need good weather all we got is the normal rain :( had bad night sleep and pain of knee i got some weak pain killers while i wait for xray i didn't do much or any damage but they want to know y it gave way in first place oh i put on more weight know im on diet :( so really not an bad day but not an good day either.

thanks
gavin

[suzi]

so whats your new hobby??

[nitromad]

:Hello2:

my new hobbie is radio control buggys and monster trucks i got 2 nitro fueled buggy (one in middle of rebuild) one monster truck also nitro fueled (i built it) and one onroad eletric car also built my self from kit.

you might tell i like to build them as much as driving them :icon_lol: but i not got big garden so i take them to local park but it get muddy quick so i wait till it been dry day or two plus the eletric in my ant waterpoof so that main reason for needing good waether :)

on the xray ive been booked in for friday morin so be next week see what doctor say.

thanks
gavin.

[mummyhill]

good luck on Friday.

[suzi]

sounds like a good hobby!

good luck for friday!!

[seaspirit]

sounds like a great hobby, i love r/c cars had one once that had a mind of it's own would go every way but the way you wanted it to lol.

hope the xray is ok on friday, i'm still waiting for my scan appointment should go back to the docs really.