depressed feel like crap

[bluedoguk]

alright dont know what i am doing on this website but maybe looking for answers i recently well 5 day ago broke up with a young lady not the end of the world you say and it probally is not but the way it broke up is i eneded up hitting her i am not going to go into the whys and hows acullty i will over the last 8 months i have been seeing her i have been accussed of being unfaithful and of lyibg and i know your saying to yourself i must have done something but i never did all i did was love her and spend 7 days a week with her everything was all good untill she started to amke up stuff in her head and listen to gossip from her friends things like ""hes a good looking guy got a nice car he must be shaggin loads of girls" anyway a few weeks before we broke up she left a chain at my house now i took the chain and put it in a draw but so totally forgot about it any weeks go by she asks for the cahin now me not remeber where i put it told her that i would look for it as if i told her it was in my house she would bug me to find it and then coz i couldnt find it we would argue that point so i just said i would look for it the next day i get a text at work saying we need to talk so i call her and she says we will talk later i say no talk now then she says "i know you stole my chain coz a saw it in the draw" now bear in mind the chain is only worth £55 so there would be no point but she goes on how i spoke to my friends thats what they say blah blah blah anyway i pack up all her stuff take it over to her house she gets in the care with attudite sits down then we argue over the same fact again then i see red and hit her i know it was so wrong and i really love her but she says she loves me but cant be with me which i understand now the problem that gets me down is that now i have atart to be violent just like my dad was to my mum and i hate myself i know there are alot of people who are going give me negitive feedback on tjis site due to the fact taht i hit her but i guess thats the way it goes i cant eat sleep i have even conidered suicide but i cant go on like this i am tryi ng to let go of her and what i did to her but what can i do please leave feedback good or bad.

many thanks

[lizzie]

Hello and welcome first off

I'm sure that no-one is going to give you negative feedback cause the sites not about that , its about helping each other IF and when we can , do you have depression ? are you on tablets for it ? have you thought about seeing a therapist ? we all make mistakes thats what makes us human its about learning by our mistakes and not doing same over and over again

[suzi]

Hi there adn welcome to DWD.

First off i need to tell you that i have removed your poll as i didnt think it was appropriate.

None of us will judge you, but none of us are professionals, we just all have our own experiences of depression.

I will not condone you for hitting her, in my books there is no need for violence, EVER.
You need to seek help for your anger management. I think you should see your doctor and talk through things with them.
You have lots of options available to you, suicide shouldnt be one of them.

[darwins_reject]

hello and welcome to DWD, i would just like to say that i agree with the removal of your poll, for your sake as well as that of the forum as a whole. people can post what they like on here, until we (the mods) see it, it would have been unlikely, but still possible that someone could have joined this forum, and think its funny (yes there are people that sick around) to have ticked your first option. now that could have caused you more distress. i hope you appreciate the reasons, please don't take this as a "dig", and its nothing personal, but here we all look out for each other, members new and old

[bluedoguk]

ok understnad removal of the poll not on tablets but do i have a appointmnet today at 5 with my GP i will see how that goes. kinda find it hard to go in with a open mind as always have a attuide that tablets and stuff are for the weak but here i am doing it myself growing up in a ethinic minority family it has always been hard to show feelings as a man, been trying something on line called mood gym which was recomnened and start writing so stuff about my self kinda to get stuff about myself out upbringing,childhood issues and stuff so lets see what happens thanks everyone i know your all trying to be nice but really need the truth about myself if that makes sense but please give feedback


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[Emmie]

I can't really add to what the others have said but wanted to say hello and welcome, and don't worry no one on here will judge you.

You do need to go and get help to control your temper. Make an appointment and go tell your doctor everything and he will be able to give you the most appropriate treatment. Good luck.

Edit to add (as cross posted!): Ad's are definately not for the weak, if you had a broken leg you wouldn't consider someone who hd a plaster on as being weak! It's exactly the same as that, it's medication to help with a physical illness (chemical imbalance) that effects you mentally and emotionally.

Also, don't feel that just becuase we're being nice to you doesn't mean we're not being truthful!

[suzi]

ok understnad removal of the poll not on tablets but do i have a appointmnet today at 5 with my GP i will see how that goes. kinda find it hard to go in with a open mind as always have a attuide that tablets and stuff are for the weak but here i am doing it myself growing up in a ethinic minority family it has always been hard to show feelings as a man, been trying something on line called mood gym which was recomnened and start writing so stuff about my self kinda to get stuff about myself out upbringing,childhood issues and stuff so lets see what happens thanks everyone i know your all trying to be nice but really need the truth about myself if that makes sense but please give feedback


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i dont understand what feedback you want?

[bluedoguk]

ok understnad removal of the poll not on tablets but do i have a appointmnet today at 5 with my GP i will see how that goes. kinda find it hard to go in with a open mind as always have a attuide that tablets and stuff are for the weak but here i am doing it myself growing up in a ethinic minority family it has always been hard to show feelings as a man, been trying something on line called mood gym which was recomnened and start writing so stuff about my self kinda to get stuff about myself out upbringing,childhood issues and stuff so lets see what happens thanks everyone i know your all trying to be nice but really need the truth about myself if that makes sense but please give feedback

i dont now probally note feed back just help


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i dont understand what feedback you want?

[bluedoguk]

hi everyone just came back from my gp feel a bit better spoke about what happened and childhood stuff told me everytime a get down to write down whatever comes into my mind going to tryit then go back on monday the 15th she said maybe a counciler but more than likely hypnotherapy as due to may charcter a would prob end up just lying to the counciler also no drugs as i prob as i told here i would not take them as soon as i felt better so lets see what happen really dolike the fact that everyone ones to help me but it is kinda strange for me to accept that people want to help for no reason but lets see.

i keep checking so please keep feedback

[suzi]

what kind of feedback are you expecting or wanting?
I dont get it.....

[mummyhill]

I don't get this feedback thing either.

I do not condone physical violence and agree that you maybe need anger management course.

You sound as if you have quite a few issues to deal with. The only way to do this is to find a councellor and to be honest with them. If you lie or gloss over stuff you will do more harm to yourself because you won't be able to receive the best treatment for you.

[veggie]

Hiya i have to say i'm with Suzi on this one i really think you need some kind of councelling to come to terms with what you've seen as a child.
You keep on saying about feedback,are you hoping someone has a real go at you because of how you feel about yourself? Sometimes in a warped sort of way some people like to be told how bad they are to allieviate some of the guilt they feel.
Hope things improve soon.take care

[crazy girl]

I agree with what the others said i cannot condone violence of any sort, u need to get help with you anger problems, antalking does help.

[bluedoguk]

i was not saying that the violence was ok i am so pissed off that i am that way when i say feedback i guess i meant help the gp said to come back on monday she will recommend i see a hypnotist to help me out but we will see what happens

[suzi]

did she suggest anything else?


TBH until you try some kind of therapy and anger management there isnt a lot that we can do apart from listen..

[bluedoguk]

thanks