superman
05-10-2007, 06:18 PM
well.... where to start?
Hi. my story is actually quite long but i am going to try and keep as short as possable (although it prolly still wont be short).
About three years ago i was in a seriouse relationship with the woman I thought I was going to marry. We already had the most handsome boy together and had been seeing each other for two years at that point. while in a chat room with friends I see "18/f/widow"... i felt so bad, she was so young. I began talking to her (I am going to refer to her as misty) and decided that I was going to help her through this. She was already a mother of a 1 yr old little girl and was pregnat with a second when her husband died. Over the next several months IÂ*Â*would jump on the messanger daily to talk to Misty, see how she was doing, and invited her to my football games and practices and what not to try and get her out of the house. During this time we became great friends, and she was helping me with the problems I was having in my relationship. We both had someone we could talk to.
About 6 months after I started talking to her my fience left me. She said she was young (barley 21 at the time) and wanted to be single and do what young girls do. This hit me very hard. Luckly I had Misty (although I believe in fate, so it really wasnt luck at all). I had other "friends" but not the kind that help you through your problems... more like fun friends. I tried being a friend to my ex fience but it was too hard and she was actually pretty hostile torwds me. This more then anything put me in the deepest depression I would ever face (or so I thought). Almost going past the point of no return one night (suicide) I received a phone call from misty. She saved my life. I considered her my angel and told her that.
Niether of us EVER expected to fall in love with the other. I wanted to help another human being through the toughest time in her life, and she was able to help me through mine. Well, as fate would have it, we did end up falling in love. She was going to come visit me for my birthday (she lived three hrs away) but supprised me a week early with a pop in. When I saw her face for the first time in person... well... I dont think I had ever smiled that big befor. I couldnt get the smile off my face for hrs. When she had to leave she said "you should come with me, visit for a while." It tooks about half a minute of "convinceing" me to go and i started packing about a weeks worth of stuff. I didnt end up comming back. I stayed out there with her and we got our own place. It was strange, leaving everything and everyone three hrs away .. just *poof* up and gone one day.
wow im not making this short at all... but i think the history is the most important, i should be able to shorten it from here on out.
Like most new couples we had our problems and what not but things where good. We had a child (not planned) and her two daughters called me dad since i am the only father they really ever knew. Due to the situation with our appartment we where renting, we ended up buying our first home together (at the ages of 23 and 20). Looking back now I can see things where graudually getting worse between us, but at the time it seemed like normal relationship stuff. She suggested I get us into a marriage counsler wich I did, and he helped a lot. But it was $100/hr and we couldnt do it anymore. we did work on what we learned there. we took other free familey courses to try and help as well.
last january for my birthday i went back home by myself to celebrate with my old friends. Not such a great idea, and I really dont suggest it.
the day after my birthday Misty broke up with me. Funny thing was she gave me the same reason my first ex did. I wasnt going to give up on Misty so I stayed around (and eventually found out she actually left me partially to persure a relationship with her first love, who was friend of ours). after about a month I had to move back home cause I couldnt stand to see her with other guys (but we still talked everyday and I say my kids a little more then everyother weekend). this was hard for me and the depression i felt with my first ex was almost nothing compared to this. It took me about 4 months but I finally got better. A few months after that she started telling me she missed me, that she wanted her family back, and crying. I wasnt sure if I could do that. I was visiting for JUly 4th when we had the talk that made me beleive I should come back, and I did. I worked MUCH harder on my problems (jelousy being a big one) and she seemed to be working on hers. I didnt see a huge change in her till about 4 weeks ago. All the little stuff I need in a relationship she was doing, She was doing so great and I told her that a lot. I wanted her to love me the way she loved her late husband, fully and completely, but she said that would never happen for her again. I unstood how she felt but I didnt agree and always had the hope that one day that would change. September 25 of this year, she broke it off again. The reason this time is she feels guilty for wasting my time because she can never love me the way i want to be loved. she believes that there is someone better for me out there and I deserve that.
Since then she has been seeing another mutual friend of ours. I never want to live away from my kids again so I still live at home with her and the kids. Whats killing me the most right now is that she doesnt seem to care if I am her friend or not, or if Im even still alive. And with the history we have together (the way we met and everything we have helped eachother through) I would think we should be best friends or more. september 23 is he late husbands birthday, and I think this is causing her to have a lot going on with her right now so im trying to understand, but the depression im going through now is the worst yet. Before, if I had thoughts of suicide or disappearing because the world didnt need me, my kids where always the thought that kept me alive. Now, they still are, but its having less of an effect. I dont know how to cope with this stress and she is really the only person I have who I could talk to about it but she doesnt seem to care. I am extremly close with he late husbands family (mother father and little sisters) and we actually conisder each other familey. I call them mom, dad, and sis and they call me son and bro. I can talk to "mom" and the littlest sister (13) and it helps for a little bit, but i cant seem to snap out of it. it only seems to be getting worse by the day and I have no idea how to cope.
Well that is the short version.... if you want anymore details feel free to ask any questions here or in msg. I have no trouble telling anything, I was just trying to keep the inital post short (a lot of good that did though)
P.S. I havent told MY familey (mom,dad, and brother) yet because it is kind of embarrising, but even if i did, they are not the kind of people that can help someone in this situation much.
Hi. my story is actually quite long but i am going to try and keep as short as possable (although it prolly still wont be short).
About three years ago i was in a seriouse relationship with the woman I thought I was going to marry. We already had the most handsome boy together and had been seeing each other for two years at that point. while in a chat room with friends I see "18/f/widow"... i felt so bad, she was so young. I began talking to her (I am going to refer to her as misty) and decided that I was going to help her through this. She was already a mother of a 1 yr old little girl and was pregnat with a second when her husband died. Over the next several months IÂ*Â*would jump on the messanger daily to talk to Misty, see how she was doing, and invited her to my football games and practices and what not to try and get her out of the house. During this time we became great friends, and she was helping me with the problems I was having in my relationship. We both had someone we could talk to.
About 6 months after I started talking to her my fience left me. She said she was young (barley 21 at the time) and wanted to be single and do what young girls do. This hit me very hard. Luckly I had Misty (although I believe in fate, so it really wasnt luck at all). I had other "friends" but not the kind that help you through your problems... more like fun friends. I tried being a friend to my ex fience but it was too hard and she was actually pretty hostile torwds me. This more then anything put me in the deepest depression I would ever face (or so I thought). Almost going past the point of no return one night (suicide) I received a phone call from misty. She saved my life. I considered her my angel and told her that.
Niether of us EVER expected to fall in love with the other. I wanted to help another human being through the toughest time in her life, and she was able to help me through mine. Well, as fate would have it, we did end up falling in love. She was going to come visit me for my birthday (she lived three hrs away) but supprised me a week early with a pop in. When I saw her face for the first time in person... well... I dont think I had ever smiled that big befor. I couldnt get the smile off my face for hrs. When she had to leave she said "you should come with me, visit for a while." It tooks about half a minute of "convinceing" me to go and i started packing about a weeks worth of stuff. I didnt end up comming back. I stayed out there with her and we got our own place. It was strange, leaving everything and everyone three hrs away .. just *poof* up and gone one day.
wow im not making this short at all... but i think the history is the most important, i should be able to shorten it from here on out.
Like most new couples we had our problems and what not but things where good. We had a child (not planned) and her two daughters called me dad since i am the only father they really ever knew. Due to the situation with our appartment we where renting, we ended up buying our first home together (at the ages of 23 and 20). Looking back now I can see things where graudually getting worse between us, but at the time it seemed like normal relationship stuff. She suggested I get us into a marriage counsler wich I did, and he helped a lot. But it was $100/hr and we couldnt do it anymore. we did work on what we learned there. we took other free familey courses to try and help as well.
last january for my birthday i went back home by myself to celebrate with my old friends. Not such a great idea, and I really dont suggest it.
the day after my birthday Misty broke up with me. Funny thing was she gave me the same reason my first ex did. I wasnt going to give up on Misty so I stayed around (and eventually found out she actually left me partially to persure a relationship with her first love, who was friend of ours). after about a month I had to move back home cause I couldnt stand to see her with other guys (but we still talked everyday and I say my kids a little more then everyother weekend). this was hard for me and the depression i felt with my first ex was almost nothing compared to this. It took me about 4 months but I finally got better. A few months after that she started telling me she missed me, that she wanted her family back, and crying. I wasnt sure if I could do that. I was visiting for JUly 4th when we had the talk that made me beleive I should come back, and I did. I worked MUCH harder on my problems (jelousy being a big one) and she seemed to be working on hers. I didnt see a huge change in her till about 4 weeks ago. All the little stuff I need in a relationship she was doing, She was doing so great and I told her that a lot. I wanted her to love me the way she loved her late husband, fully and completely, but she said that would never happen for her again. I unstood how she felt but I didnt agree and always had the hope that one day that would change. September 25 of this year, she broke it off again. The reason this time is she feels guilty for wasting my time because she can never love me the way i want to be loved. she believes that there is someone better for me out there and I deserve that.
Since then she has been seeing another mutual friend of ours. I never want to live away from my kids again so I still live at home with her and the kids. Whats killing me the most right now is that she doesnt seem to care if I am her friend or not, or if Im even still alive. And with the history we have together (the way we met and everything we have helped eachother through) I would think we should be best friends or more. september 23 is he late husbands birthday, and I think this is causing her to have a lot going on with her right now so im trying to understand, but the depression im going through now is the worst yet. Before, if I had thoughts of suicide or disappearing because the world didnt need me, my kids where always the thought that kept me alive. Now, they still are, but its having less of an effect. I dont know how to cope with this stress and she is really the only person I have who I could talk to about it but she doesnt seem to care. I am extremly close with he late husbands family (mother father and little sisters) and we actually conisder each other familey. I call them mom, dad, and sis and they call me son and bro. I can talk to "mom" and the littlest sister (13) and it helps for a little bit, but i cant seem to snap out of it. it only seems to be getting worse by the day and I have no idea how to cope.
Well that is the short version.... if you want anymore details feel free to ask any questions here or in msg. I have no trouble telling anything, I was just trying to keep the inital post short (a lot of good that did though)
P.S. I havent told MY familey (mom,dad, and brother) yet because it is kind of embarrising, but even if i did, they are not the kind of people that can help someone in this situation much.