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It’s been hard to process the last few days, so I thought I’d better check how everyone is doing.
There’s been a lot of tears at Chez Sparkles, and not much sleep. It’s been hard to get up any motivation to do anything, and the diet has gone out of the window. So, it’s very much been a case of rest and distraction (I’ve read a lot of books….).
It’s so important to do whatever makes it easier to get through tough times. Whether it’s to evolve into a bookworm, or run the London Marathon, be very kind to yourself
Lots of tears here too. I keep waiting for someone to tell me there is a mistake, that this is some kinds of sick joke and that she’s not really gone. If I could trade places I would cos I don’t want to be in a world without her in it. I don’t won’t this to be real.
magie06
24-04-23, 11:35 AM
I'm heartbroken. I'm not sure if I have any tears left. I keep thinking of Marc, Ben, Hazel and Fern. I would love to be near to be able to ring or call to hug their hurt away.
Strugglingmum
24-04-23, 02:17 PM
I've been trying to keep busy. This morning I went out and got some help with my pip forms and had a swim. Now I'm home I'm finding it hard to get motivated to do anything
magie06
24-04-23, 02:57 PM
I'm not in a good place today. My dad told me yesterday that I'm like a hippo and it was time to loose weight. It upset me so much that I left straight away and I really don't feel like going back. My eyes are full of tears all day.
Jaquaia
24-04-23, 03:26 PM
(panda)
Oh Magie, love. Your dad is so wrong, you are beautiful (panda)
Your Dad has a history of saying the wrong things to you Magie. Well done for walking away. You have to protect yourself sometimes at the expense of others. I would like to say maybe he will see the error of his ways. At the end of day those words mean nothing so long as you are happy in your skin.
magie06
24-04-23, 09:13 PM
I forgot that there was a p/t meeting this evening about the trip to Italy. My baby is going away next Tuesday with the school and comes home on the Saturday. First time that she will be away without me.
(panda) I was used to Katie being away from home but the first school trip was so hard. Big hugs, lovely
magie06
24-04-23, 09:18 PM
She'll have a ball. I won't know what to do with myself.
Today’s not a great day. I’ve had to cancel housegroup that I was supposed to be hosting tomorrow, I’ve asked for an extension on handing in my final assessment. And a few weeks ago, I booked a gp appointment because I was in a really good place and wanted to reduce my amitriptyline to try to reduce the fatigue and brain fog. Obviously I’m in no fit state to reduce ADs now…… I was just doing some work on the fb page and saw the last Fab 5s Suzi wrote, and dissolved into a soggy, snotty mess. I miss her so much.
Strugglingmum
25-04-23, 12:10 PM
I was just remembering her joy at her new wheelchair and getting out and about and booking theatre tickets. It is so unfair. Today I am angry for her, for a life cut short when she had so much still to enjoy.
Yeah, the Fab 5 I saw was her saying how wheelchair had changed her life.
magie06
25-04-23, 01:40 PM
The fab 5's set me off too. Today is a horrible day. I'm in a fog right now, after staring into space all morning. I have nothing done.
How is everyone today? I’ve been sitting her with the shawl Suzi crocheted for me around my shoulders - despite the fact I was hot!
Jaquaia
26-04-23, 03:27 PM
Probably not doing as well as I'd like to think. I'm organising...
magie06
26-04-23, 04:32 PM
I'm distracting. If I stop doing stuff, then I cry. So I'm putting stuff from one place to another and back again.
Strugglingmum
26-04-23, 04:35 PM
I've been stuck into today as getting my new full fibre broadband installed. We live ¹/⁴ mile from the pole so was a long job getting the cable in.
I've been antsy because I couldnt go out for a walk or anything. Anyway it's all done now and the family is coming home in dribs and drabs so that will keep me busy.
I need to finish my assessment, but managed 3 paragraphs before my brain went to mush. A weeks extension might not be enough, especially as the final question is to self analyse using reflective practice. I’m looking sideways at that one right now….
Jaquaia
26-04-23, 05:00 PM
I haven't even started mine yet and it's due a week today. I can't really get any longer as we're approaching end of module
Paula, Jaq, I absolutely know that despite everything you will get your assignments in as required for two reasons. 1. You are both freaking awesome, and 2. Cos Suzi along with everyone else in this forum believe in you. You can and will do this.
Morning, how is everyone today? I’ve managed to put make up on today, so that’s progress, right?
It’s been a week. Probably the longest, hardest week of my life. But I’m trying to look forward, knowing it’s what Suzi would have wanted
Strugglingmum
27-04-23, 11:51 AM
I have a lovely frozen, tingling jaw after being to the dentist for a filling. It's a grey day here. Matches my mood but I am going to be trying to be more active today. No wallowing on the couch.
magie06
27-04-23, 12:30 PM
I'm afraid to go to my dentist. The dentist part itself isn't too bad, but the hygienist is horrible.
Yeah, I’m with you there. Big hugs, lovely
I’m tired. Very little energy and wanted to just sleep all day so that pretty much what I’ve done. Need to put a load of washing on but even that feels like a massive task. Contemplating going for a carvery. No cooking and no washing up. Of course it involves moving so need to build myself up to it
Morning everyone! How are you all?
OldMike
30-04-23, 09:25 AM
Doing okay dealing with mechanical machinery problems first off lawn mower had carb problems sorted, scarifier had ignition problems no spark new ignition module sorted that out. The latest problem was with my weed whacker it fitted it with a wire brush to use it to remove a thick layer of moss from my old path engine running brush not rotating it turns out to be the clutch a piece has broken off ordered a new one from Germany 11 Euros when VAT, carriage and a Brexit charge added cost a few pence short of 25 GB Pounds.
By which time if you read all that you're probably ready to fall asleep (snooze)
Yup I'm turning into Victor Meldrew, I don't believe it.
Doing okay dealing with mechanical machinery problems first off lawn mower had carb problems sorted, scarifier had ignition problems no spark new ignition module sorted that out. The latest problem was with my weed whacker it fitted it with a wire brush to use it to remove a thick layer of moss from my old path engine running brush not rotating it turns out to be the clutch a piece has broken off ordered a new one from Germany 11 Euros when VAT, carriage and a Brexit charge added cost a few pence short of 25 GB Pounds.
By which time if you read all that you're probably ready to fall asleep (snooze)
Yup I'm turning into Victor Meldrew, I don't believe it.
Hey Mike, still awake and about to follow it all.
Strugglingmum
30-04-23, 03:36 PM
Ali is playing golf so I dropped him off, had a short walk and making dinner for everyone.
Did Katie get to walk with you?
Morning all! How are things?
Strugglingmum
03-05-23, 10:59 AM
Morning everyone. It's a dull day here....just as well I have loads to do about the house.
And some time for you, maybe?
Strugglingmum
03-05-23, 06:35 PM
How's everyone's day going.
I haven't stopped. Just gonna sit down with a cuppa and get the crochet hook lifted.
magie06
03-05-23, 07:59 PM
I had a busy morning. Physio in Galway and I didn't get home until after 2. In complete and utter agony after it. I have to start exercising tomorrow and see how I am.
Strugglingmum
03-05-23, 08:33 PM
Oh no. Hope the pain eases for you
I feel your pain, Magie. I had physio today - and it kicked in this evening when we were halfway through the dog walk….. take care of yourself
Good morning, lovelies! How is everyone? I’m excited as I’ve made the first very tentative steps towards getting a new tattoo in Suzi’s honour. However, I will need to get the quote before deciding to go ahead with it!
What are you getting?
I’m disappointed today. I wanted to go and clear out the car cos it’s so cluttered but it’s tipping down with rain so not gonna happen. Get a few things todo around the house but you know what I’m like, I’d made a plan and now it has to change so I’m finding it hard to adjust.
Wildflowers. Marc told me they were her favourite
I thing we’re all aware of her love of daisies. When you say quote do you mean price of the tat or were you having a wording with the tat? If you are looking for words you only need 4. No day but today.
Strugglingmum
06-05-23, 02:37 PM
What a lovely tribute
According to Marc, it was more than daisies - poppies, cornflowers etc. and who am I to argue with her husband? I meant price quote, I’m not into word tattoos.
Hi all.......how is everyone? I've been watching the Coronation. Loved the music, it was an emotional few hours. My brother would have loved it bless him. We have quite a lot going on outside at the moment...a stage with a band, singers, the usual pub regulars, bunting, flags, cake and other eats and it's stopped raining too!!! We're moving back to Scotland hopefully in a couple of months. We've decided that family is more important than places, and we miss the kids and grandkids. We've accepted an offer on the house and seen one we'd like to buy...it all relies on the upcoming survey. So you're having a tattoo Paula. What about Carpe Diem (seize the day) not just restricted to the wearer but an important two words to all even if one doesn't like word tattoos, they certainly pack a punch. Judi Dench has it tattooed on her wrist. An 80th birthday present from her daughter. I love that woman.
Suzi was a tough act to follow, she had an amazing zest for life and a great sense of humour. Time to celebrate her life and remember the things she said and did that made us laugh.
Strugglingmum
06-05-23, 07:27 PM
Oh my goodness what a big decision. Well done you!!!
Hope everything goes through smoothly for you. X
According to Marc, it was more than daisies - poppies, cornflowers etc. and who am I to argue with her husband? I meant price quote, I’m not into word tattoos.
I’m not sure how I’m supposed to take that comment? Of course Marc knows her best. Have you picked a design already?
Hi all.......how is everyone? I've been watching the Coronation. Loved the music, it was an emotional few hours. My brother would have loved it bless him. We have quite a lot going on outside at the moment...a stage with a band, singers, the usual pub regulars, bunting, flags, cake and other eats and it's stopped raining too!!! We're moving back to Scotland hopefully in a couple of months. We've decided that family is more important than places, and we miss the kids and grandkids. We've accepted an offer on the house and seen one we'd like to buy...it all relies on the upcoming survey. So you're having a tattoo Paula. What about Carpe Diem (seize the day) not just restricted to the wearer but an important two words to all even if one doesn't like word tattoos, they certainly pack a punch. Judi Dench has it tattooed on her wrist. An 80th birthday present from her daughter. I love that woman.
Suzi was a tough act to follow, she had an amazing zest for life and a great sense of humour. Time to celebrate her life and remember the things she said and did that made us laugh.
Wow! That’s wonderful news!
Morning (just)! How is everyone? I binge watched Queen Charlotte last night and didn’t get to bed til 2am so I’ve basically been sleeping this morning! It took me an hour and a half to complete my Spanish lessons this morning because I kept dozing off in the middle of a question lol
Jaquaia
08-05-23, 11:45 AM
Feeling a bit empty today. It's been a tough couple of weeks.
Yeah, it has. Big hugs, lovely (panda). How’s J?
Jaquaia
08-05-23, 11:59 AM
He has a cracking bruise on the back of his hand where they tried to in the cannula!
Ouch, I know that feeling!
magie06
08-05-23, 01:20 PM
A big hug from me too. My bruise from getting my blood last Thursday is now gone a Suzi purple colour.
Strugglingmum
08-05-23, 03:13 PM
I've been a bit meh today so we are going for a drive. Plan to head to the mountains and then the seaside for a walk.
Sounds like a lovely plan :)
magie06
08-05-23, 06:11 PM
Can everyone please, please, be extra kind to yourselves this week. It's going to be very difficult for everyone, so please stay hydrated, take your meds and get enough sleep.
Jaquaia
08-05-23, 08:24 PM
I need to do some uni work but don't know if I can face it after yesterday and I can't get an extension for this. I guess I'm going to have to actually pace.
How is everybody today? I’ve been told this morning that the swelling on my optic nerve is stable and my visual fields test was ‘the best’ I’ve ever done. Which was a positive in what has been a very difficult few weeks!
Pixie85
10-05-23, 01:10 PM
Hi! I've been pretty mixed but still plodding along! Haven't posted on here much since reading about Suzi passing away. I don't really know how to explain it but to me, it didn't seem like anything I would of wrote would be relevant in the midst of it all.
In what way don’t you think it’d be relevant? I think Suzi would have wanted us to talk as ‘normally’ as we can
Jaquaia
10-05-23, 01:26 PM
Suzi would never want you to not talk just because you may feel other stuff is more important. You're important too (panda)
Pixie85
10-05-23, 02:16 PM
I know you're right ladies, thank you. It's just the way my little mind works but yeh, I'll get back to it. It's seem strange without Suzi
Strugglingmum
10-05-23, 02:18 PM
Paula, that is fantastic news!!!(party)
Pixie, keep posting, I love to hear how you are doing. X
Jaquaia
10-05-23, 02:28 PM
Paula, missed your news. That's brilliant!
I'm feeling a bit flat. I have a list of jobs to do and can't find the energy to do them. Printed out the show me tell me questions for my driving test though and the form the venue want off us in a few weeks, so that's two things ticked off the list.
How is everybody today? I’ve been told this morning that the swelling on my optic nerve is stable and my visual fields test was ‘the best’ I’ve ever done. Which was a positive in what has been a very difficult few weeks!
That is great news! Really pleased for you.
magie06
16-05-23, 03:29 PM
Very warm!
Jaquaia
16-05-23, 03:32 PM
Having one of those days. Bob's car went bang as he was about to leave to collect me. Still, saved me some money at least!
Having one of those days. Bob's car went bang as he was about to leave to collect me. Still, saved me some money at least!
Oops..
Got invited to a rock concert and a dog show with a mate. Not at the same of course lol
I haven’t checked for a while. How are you all doing? Truthfully?
Not good at the moment if I’m honest.
magie06
03-06-23, 02:52 PM
I was all set to start my weigh loss injections last night, only to find out that the chemist had forgotten to put the needle part into my prescription. So, I have to get myself ready to do it all over again.
What?? You’ve had a bit of a nightmare with this pharmacist…..
It’s the beginning of another week! What have you all got planned?
Jaquaia
05-06-23, 05:26 PM
Volunteering at the Railway Museum, uni work and wedding stuff!
I haven’t done this for a while so, how are you all doing? Are you taking care of yourselves? Having you been doing anything fun?
Not great. Car blew up last week, got loads of med appointments, managed to upset another friend a couple of days ago and feel crap. Just wanna crawl into a deep dark hole and bury myself.
Morning! How is everyone today?
It’s been a while since I last checked in on you all. How’s things?
Strugglingmum
18-07-23, 01:33 PM
I'm doing ok. Working hard on healing.
That’s exhausting work - I hope you’re resting too…
I’m not great but well enough to be discharged from hospital which is good.
It’s been a while, so I thought I’d check in and see how you all are
Had a massive wobble over the weekend but now it's Monday and the world starts turning again so I can hopefully get things sorted so I can get back to normal.
Jaquaia
21-08-23, 12:32 PM
Feeling fantastic as I've only gone and passed my driving test!!!
(party) sooooooo unbelievably proud of you!!
Oh wow Jaq, that is amazing news. I’m so damned proud of you. You’re awesome!
Allalone
23-08-23, 12:00 AM
Well done on passing your driving test Jaq!
Today should’ve been easy on me but not so much, the more I try to rrest, relax and look after myself the more other things get in the way.
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