Summer's coming

[magie06]

Dublin was great. Our hotel was on the last stop of the Luas, which was very handy. It was a lovely room, which had wooden floors, all the better for bringing my rollator. Aisling had a brilliant time shopping. I really couldn't keep up. But I toddled off to the nearest Luas stop, and went back to the hotel. Gerry got to see the museum in the GPO and I did the hop on - hop off bus to see the tourist things. Aisling had no interest in either of those things, so we tag teamed each other.
The only thing is that my stamina is not as good as it used to be. I found even the walking around the shops very tiring, with both my back and knees very sore.

[Suzi]

That sounds like a lovely time! I know what you mean about stamina, mines left me ages ago and now I'm struggling to get in too and out of the sofa....

Is the Luas a Bus?

[Paula]

What a lovely time! I’m with you on the stamina front, love. It sucks….

[magie06]

The Luas is a light rail/tram service. It is very handy because there are no steps, it pulls up level with the platform.

[Suzi]

The Luas sounds great!

I'm so pleased that you went and had a good time. I loved hearing that you were able to take breaks too! It's really great how you did it

[magie06]

I was a little bit worried about Aisling going back to school after the Easter holidays, because H/b would be there. But she seems okay and hasn't mentioned anything. I'm keeping my eyes and ears open to any changes in her mood.

I forgot to say that our hotel is where they film First Dates, Ireland. So I'm kinda famous!

[Paula]

I’m glad she’s ok - she’s a tough cookie, your girl!

[Paula]

Hey hunni, how’s things? How is Ais doing now? What’s your mood like?

[magie06]

I've been getting Aisling ready for her trip to Italy. They leave in the morning around 5.30 and I think the suitcase has been packed and repacked about a hundred times. It's her first time going without one of us, so I'm sure the house won't be the same until Saturday evening when she gets back.

[Paula]

No, it won’t. Will you be ok?

[magie06]

I'll be okay (I think). I have enough to keep me busy while she's away. I have to go to Galway on Wednesday morning for physio. I haven't had any for the last 4 months and I really need it.

[Jaquaia]

Hopefully it will help you feel a bit better!

[magie06]

I'm okay. She went off this morning at 6. She asked me not to wave them off, so of course I had to wait and give her a big wave!

[Paula]

Bless her, Jess always said the same! Sure you’re ok?

[magie06]

Yes. I'm okay. I was expecting a call earlier because we had fog here and I was afraid they wouldn't get to leave. But I didn't get a call and Gerry said that they left around 10. He has a tracker on her phone, so he knows where she is.

[Strugglingmum]

She will have a wonderful time. You rest and look after you.
P.s hope it was the biggest wave ever!!(rofl)

[magie06]

Like I told her this morning, either it will be brilliant or it will be terrible. Either way they will have great stories to tell.

[SJW180]

Other than physio what nice things do you have planned while your lass is away?

[magie06]

I have a smear test and bloods in the morning, I have to fit in some exercise and a walk and then some knitting in the evening.

[Paula]

Try to be kind to you, lovely (bear)

[Jaquaia]

Please try to fit in some rest (panda)

[magie06]

Today I'm weather watching. I have a clothes line full of clothes and there is rain forecast. So every time I look up from my knitting I check to make sure it's still dry.

[magie06]

My sister and I went to Athlone as a treat today. We had a lovely time and we even stopped for a coffee.

[Paula]

Sounds lovely :)

[Jaquaia]

Sounds fab!

[magie06]

We're on our way to the airport because my baby comes home today.

[Paula]

(party)

[magie06]

OMG, she thinks she's so grown up now and doesn't need to listen to either of us! Plus she's tired and has school again tomorrow. So we have a cranky person on our hands today. (snooze)

[SJW180]

The joy of having a teenager right?

[magie06]

I'm going back to bed because I've woken up hoarse, and my nose is running. I really hope it's not a chest infection starting. Take care everyone. See you later.

[Paula]

Oh no, not again! Bed sounds like exactly what you need (panda)

[Strugglingmum]

Oh no. Feel better soon. X

[magie06]

I slept from around 10.30 until after 2. I'm going back to bed when I pick Aisling up.

[Paula]

(bear) big hugs, lovely

[Jaquaia]

Do you need to speak to a doctor?

[magie06]

I slept again from 5 until 9. I'll see how I am doing in the morning and take it from there.

[Paula]

That seems wise, sleeping most of the day is obviously what you need, and I’m glad you let yourself do that, but it does speak of how rough you’re feeling

[magie06]

I was afraid going to bed last night that I wouldn't sleep last night, but I slept right through and the alarm woke me this morning. After being up since 6.30 I'm thinking now I'll go back up to bed for a while.

[Paula]

Are you going to call the dr?

[magie06]

It's all in my head at the moment, as in my nose and ears are blocked. I'm going to wait one more day, that way I'll know if it's worth going or not.

[magie06]

I'll be calling the doctor first thing because I've started coughing. Never a good thing in my book.

[Jaquaia]

Good! Calling the doctor that is, not the coughing. Just to clarify!

[Paula]

I’m glad you’re calling, I wish you didn’t have to (panda)

[magie06]

Heading to the doctor at 11.

[Strugglingmum]

That's great. Hope you get sorted

[Paula]

What did the dr say?

[magie06]

Another chest infection, so more antibiotics and steroids. I slept the afternoon away again.

[Jaquaia]

It's obviously what your body needs (panda)

[Paula]

(panda)

[Paula]

How are you feeling Today?

[magie06]

Feeling dreadful still. I'm thinking of going back to bed now.

[Paula]

Good idea (panda)

[Jaquaia]

How are you feeling today?

[magie06]

My cough is worse, but I'm feeling better itms?

[Paula]

That’s good, I think. Are you sleeping?

[Strugglingmum]

Hopefully the antibiotics are kicking in. X

[magie06]

The steroids keep me awake. But I don't feel tired.

[magie06]

I'm staying away today because I don't feel at all well. I'll see you all tomorrow.

[Jaquaia]

Hope you feel better soon (panda)

[Paula]

Big hugs, lovely

[magie06]

I got my blood test results today. I am now pre diabetic and my GP wants me to go onto injections to reduce my weight. My cholesterol is on the high side and my bmi is very high. My inflammation markers were up too. My x-ray results were back also. I have spurs on both my hips, I still have my scoliosis and I also have crumbling of the discs in my lower back. It's been a lot to take in and my reasonable mind is saying that it's not my fault, but the evil in me is saying that I could do a lot more to help myself.
I know I need to talk about all of this, but I needed today to let it all sink in itms?

[Jaquaia]

That makes perfect sense lovely. We'll support you however we can (panda)

[Paula]

Oh, love, that’s a bitch of an appointment. It’s a lot to take in in one go. But the doctor has given you a plan to help you manage all this. And you will manage it - you’re made of tough stuff and won’t let it beat you. You’re allowed to feel sad and anxious right now, but I know you will do whatever you need to do to help yourself as that is your nature (panda)

[magie06]

I'm going to bed early and I'll talk to you tomorrow. Night all

[Paula]

Night, love

[Strugglingmum]

(panda)

[SJW180]

We all need time to process information. There’s no rush to talk about it.

[magie06]

I just saw a girl with bright red hair walking past. She reminded me of Suzi, and maybe it's Suzi's way of saying that I will be okay. (think)

[Paula]

Well if it is, as usual she’s right :)

[magie06]

It's been a bugger of a week, but I've made it to Friday in almost one piece. My pocket might be a bit lighter, but I didn't have an accident or cause anyone any harm. So win/win?

[Paula]

True, and it’s good to be positive, but how do you really feel?

[magie06]

I'm okay. I'm angry at myself for the situation I put myself in yesterday. I'm cross at myself in regards to the appointment earlier in the week. I'm emotional because my baby will be finished another school year this time next week.

[Paula]

(panda) thank you for telling us

[Paula]

Hey, sweetie, how are you doing today?

[magie06]

Just checking in now. We were in Galway this morning. I took things easy today. I'm a little calmer than yesterday. But my pain levels are quite high. I think I'm still running a fever, but of course, that could just be my age.

[Paula]

Are you resting tomorrow? If your pain levels are high, it might be a good idea…

[Jaquaia]

I thought this would make you smile. A very deliberately chose your letter to use as a bookmark today. She was so happy when I said it was ok!

[magie06]

That's lovely! Oh dear, I have something in my eye again.

[Paula]

How are you doing, love?

[magie06]

I am still fighting this infection and it's driving me mad. I was hanging out the washing this morning and I blacked out in the garden. So I did what a normal person would do and I lay down for a while. If I'm still feeling the same tomorrow, I'm going to call the doctor again.

[Paula]

If you’ve blacked out, love, perhaps you should be calling the doctor today? Is G with you?

[magie06]

Yes. G is home now. I'm just going to have dinner and go to bed.

[Paula]

(panda)

[Jaquaia]

I agree with Paula, you maybe need to speak to someone, rather than wait just in case (panda)

[magie06]

I've stayed up as long as I can. I'm going to bed, earlier than the small ones on the street.

[Paula]

Hunni, please, please call the doctor in the morning

[magie06]

Oh I will. I'm not going to let this go on much longer.

[magie06]

I called the doctor first thing. I've to stop the antibiotics as she's sure the infection has begun to abate. She thinks I was reacting to the antibiotics and that's why I woke up on the grass yesterday.

[SJW180]

That sounds really scary. Are you ok?

[Paula]

(panda) rest please today…

[magie06]

Today has been all about having my feet up. Still feeling a bit bleagh, but better itms?

[Jaquaia]

Then that's obviously what you needed to do.

[Paula]

So, I take it tomorrows another rest day?

[magie06]

My cleaner is due in the morning and otherwise I've nothing on.

[magie06]

No cleaner this morning. I slept through the alarm and Aisling was up and ready before I got up. I hope this means that come September she'll be getting up and out herself. It may give me a lie in, in the mornings.

[Paula]

That would be handy :). How are you feeling today?

[magie06]

Better thank you. I had a call from my case worker after lunch. She's going to send out my new appointment. She said if I need her to give her a call. I've also called my GP to get a prescription sent to the chemist, to get a copy of the report on my last x-ray and to see if my blood test results were back. I've also called my hairdresser to ask if she can take me a bit earlier in the morning. So I've been adulting today!

[Paula]

Sounds positive! And I’m so glad you’ve heard from Toghermore

[SJW180]

That’s a lot of adulting! My ability to adult has been limited the last couple of days. I’ve been more like a lazy teenager spending most of the day in my bedroom, sleeping long hours and grunting to communicate lol

[magie06]

OMG, my daughter is so wonderful. Proud momma here. She delivered a speech today that got laughs, applause and tears. It was lovely. She didn't stumble or mutter and those of us at the back could hear. I have it all recorded so that G could see it. It was really nice. Did I say that I'm a proud mamma?

[Paula]

So you should be!! She’s an awesome young lady :)

[magie06]

Every single one of her teacher's had such wonderful things to say about her. One of them told me that when he walks into the room, she always has a smile on her face. He said it lifts his mood because most classes are full of bored teens.

[Paula]

Awwwww

[magie06]

One of the teachers on the trip to Italy told me that she was getting on a bus behind the heartbreaker. There was a free seat next to Aisling and he asked if he could sit. She said that Aisling looked up, thought for a second and said No! You go girl!!!!

[SJW180]

Your girl absolutely rocks. Just like her mum.

[Strugglingmum]

Definitely a proud mumma moment

[magie06]

My friends sister passed away yesterday morning and I've been gone all day to the funeral. Talk tomorrow.

[Paula]

(panda)

[Strugglingmum]

(panda) take care of you. Xx

[Paula]

How are you doing today?

[Paula]

Hey hunni, you’re quiet. How are you doing?

[magie06]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be away so long. It was my dad's birthday last week and we had cake yesterday for him. I didn't like his attitude towards me when I gave him his card. He just threw it to one side without even opening it. When he did that I just got up and left. He can be as mean and horrible as he likes, I don't have to sit around and wait while he does. Every time he does that I will leave. He might get the message eventually.

[Paula]

Oh hunni, I so sorry he behaves like this. Tbh you’re a bigger person than I am - I’m not sure I could keep trying. I truly hope he gets the message and you can rebuild your relationship with him (panda)

[SJW180]

Family can be difficult and I know it hurts you when he continues to be like this. At some point you will probably say enough is enough and stop putting yourself through the constant disappointment and he will only have himself to blame.

[magie06]

I know he's an old man. I mean he turned 89 last week. But sometimes it's difficult to understand why he is so mean.

Anyway, Aisling had an appointment this morning with a plastic surgeon. He removed 2 moles, one from just over her bellybutton and the other from her left shoulder. As a matter of routine they have them examined in a lab, but he didn't think there was anything sinister in either of them. We just have to keep an eye out for infection. We go back in 4 weeks to have some more taken off.

We had a lovely unexpected morning in the shops afterwards. We even went for ice cream, and sat in the sunshine to enjoy them. Aisling is on her school holidays now. In the past I would have been panicking around now, because I wouldn't know what to do with her. This year, I'm looking forward to lazy days, maybe having day trips here and there, and enjoying her company.

[Paula]

That sounds perfect :)

Jess keeps saying she needs to have her skin tags taken off, but never gets round to it. I’m trying very hard not to make the appointment for her, but she’s 22…..

As for your dad. Does he know what he’s doing/saying? If so, there’s no excuse (panda)

[Strugglingmum]

Oooo lovely lazy days sound just perfect

[magie06]

Paula, I think he knows what he says. But he's surprised when people get upset over something he has said or done.

[Paula]

How often do you see him, love? Is it worth taking some time away from him?

[magie06]

I only see him once a week. It's not a lot, and I don't know how my sister's can keep going back day after day.

[Paula]

(panda)

But your sisters don’t have to deal with the MH issues you do. I think once a week is a lot. Can you not just say to them that you need a bit of space for a few weeks?

[magie06]

My sister who looks after my dad, had a cataract operation yesterday morning. She needed to go to A & E last night because her eye was weaping and very itchy. They scratched her eye when they were doing the operation.
I had physio this morning and Aisling wanted a lift to the beach. I didn't get home until almost 2.30. I had planned to sit in the garden with my book, but it was too hot. I stayed inside where my fan is! (rofl)

[Strugglingmum]

It was cooler here today so I wasn't tempted to sit out.
Hope your sister's eye heals soon

[Paula]

Ouch, poor love :(

You may not have sat outside but did you sit down with your book, and rest?

[magie06]

Oh today I sat out for about half an hour and I really had to come in and put on my fan. But I had my book and it's got very interesting. That was between dropping Aisling to a friend's house, and collecting her again.

[Paula]

Honestly, I think it’s just what you need right now. Do you need to speak to Toghermore?

[Paula]

Hey, sweetie, how are you doing?

[magie06]

I'm tired but okay. Gerry went from chemist to chemist to find one with the correct needles for me. So, I was able to start my injections on Saturday.

Aisling and I headed to Kylemore abbey yesterday. The journey should have taken an hour and a half, took almost double because the traffic was so bad. Well, I should say traffic was heavy. A lot of people had the same idea as us. The weather here has been beautiful for the last two weeks so I didn't mind the drive so much. We had the windows down and the music up. I hadn't intended to be home so late, but it was after 8 when we got home. Today is a bank holiday so we didn't get up very early.

[Paula]

Did you manage to rest yesterday? Any plans for today?

[magie06]

More of the same as yesterday. We still have sunshine, so I just might bring my book out and read some more.

[Paula]

Perfect

[Paula]

Hey, lovely, how’s things?

[magie06]

Hi everyone. Saturday was wonderful. We took our time driving and it took us under 3 hours to get to Enniskillen. We had our coffee to revive ourselves after the drive. Then we started our shopping. We don't have Asda here, so naturally it was where we began. I've started my Christmas shopping now. I've got the stuff to send to Australia and to Canada. I got two sundresses to go to Oz, because at Christmas it's summer time there. Rowan will be starting to be potty trained so I bought loads of underwear for him. I'll buy him an outfit here before I send the parcel. I got Eve a lovely set of leggings and tops with socks to match.

Before we got to the checkout, I felt a bit dizzy, so I went outside to sit in the fresh air for a few minutes. But it was so humid, I went back into the store and sat under the a/c. I got myself another pair of 3/4 lengths, a pair of shorts and a couple of tee shirts. Of course I didn't forget to get Aisling some stuff, and because father's day is coming up, Gerry got a new tee.

After a week of being on the injections, I think I've lost 4 pounds. I'm trying not to stand on the weighting scales every day, but I doubled my dose on Saturday and I was very curious to see if anything had happened.

[Paula]

Wow! 4lbs, that’s impressive! Do you have a target amount of loss?

[magie06]

I don't have a target yet, just to get down from obesity to a more normal weight. I've put shorts on today for the first time in years. I have my knee scars out on show for everyone to see.

[Strugglingmum]

Well done on your loss. That's fantastic

[magie06]

We've had another very warm day here. We went to the beach but naturally there was a breeze there so we didn't even get our toes wet. Aisling is meeting with friends tomorrow so I'm bringing them to Athenry and someone else is going to collect them. I have no plans yet, but if the weather holds, I might go to the beach myself.

[Paula]

Hey, love, you’re really quiet - how’s things?

[Paula]

Hello, sweetie, just popping in to say hi and hope you’re ok (panda)

[magie06]

I'm popping in to let you all know that I'm still here. I'm not ghosting anyone, just taking a step back to try to get my head straight.
My dad is being an arse again and I haven't called to see him in over 2 weeks. My sister's heart is broken with him.
A friend of mine is not in a great place either. I'm trying to keep her spirits up too.
Unfortunately my own head is not great. I've had serious thoughts about s/h.

[Jaquaia]

You know we're here for you if you need us. We're happy to wave pompoms, especially if you're struggling (panda)

[magie06]

(panda) Thank you. I promise I'll post more when my head is a bit better. I just am not able at the moment.

[Strugglingmum]

Sending hugs Magie. Always here for you.

[Paula]

Just sending lots of love, sweetie

[Paula]

Hi gorgeous, how are you?

[OldMike]

(panda) Thank you. I promise I'll post more when my head is a bit better. I just am not able at the moment.

No problem Magie just get you head sorted not that easy I know lovely but you'll get there (panda) (bear)