Disability

[Stella180]

If you had to tick box asking if you consider yourself disabled would you?

This is something I struggle with massively because the combination of my mental and physical conditions mean that technically I have disabilities. I receive disability benefits but I am reluctant to consider myself disabled. Yes, I require support due to my collection of comorbid conditions but I still don’t see myself as disabled. I am able bodied and with minor supports in place I can function relatively normally. If I’m totally honest my executive dysfunction is the biggest thing that holds me back and that is connected to my mental health and autism. It sucks because I am physically able to do most things but having a mental block that prevents me from doing stuff as not only incredibly frustrating but also looks like laziness on the outside. Just wondering how the rest of you class yourselves based on your mental health. Is it debilitating or a simply inconvenience or something inbetween?

[Paula]

“You’re disabled under the Equality Act 2010 if you have a physical or mental impairment that has a ‘substantial’ and ‘long-term’ negative effect on your ability to do normal daily activities.

The Equality Act 2010 doesn’t apply to Northern Ireland.

What ‘substantial’ and ‘long-term’ mean

‘substantial’ is more than minor or trivial, eg it takes much longer than it usually would to complete a daily task like getting dressed
‘long-term’ means 12 months or more, eg a breathing condition that develops as a result of a lung infection“

[Suzi]

"disabled" isn't a negative word, it allows you to make adaptions and to expect others to be inclusive. It changed so much for me when I accepted the word as me....

[Stella180]

I think my problem is that I see so many people so much worse of that me and to put myself in the same category as them feels wrong. Because none of my issues mean I can’t do things at all, some days I am capable others not so much. I know technically I am disabled by the legal definition Paula has given because I wouldn’t have the supports in place that I have but society sees things differently. The classic parking in a disabled bay and walking away from the car you get frowned at. Being autistic by level of support needs are quite small compared to others and I come across as a reasonably intelligent person and my social and communication issues are not obvious. Plus having survived most of my life unaware of my condition suggests I can cope just fine. So when it comes to completing application forms or other general paperwork I don’t feel that I should declare myself disabled. That’s just me, as I said I understand I fit the the legal criteria but I don’t like to tick the box unless there is a specific need for accommodations required.

[Paula]

You got the blue badge partly for your IBS, didn’t you? Are you saying that you’ve never had to find a loo quickly, then? My MH disabilities are hidden to the extent a student psychiatrist thought I was a member of staff when I was in a MH hospital!

Honestly? I doubt people are taking any time out of their lives to frown at you from walking away from a disabled bay - I strongly suspect that’s just your (wrong) perception of it. The only person who doesn’t believe you need those support structures in place is you.

[Stella180]

I’ve seen it happen to others and I got my blue badge based on anxiety and autism which work hand in hand. I’m ok with driving locally but when going somewhere new if access to parking isn’t onsite and I need to find a space elsewhere, it can cause distress and lead to me turning around and going home or not making the journey at all. Having that backup helps me feel a bit more confident. I can get by without the badge but having it opens the world up to me.

[Paula]

Which is what it’s for….

[Suzi]

Then why are you so against ticking the box for disability?

[Stella180]

I feel like a fraud for starters.

[Suzi]

A fraud? You have chronic illnesses which have a significant impact on your daily living. That is not being a fraud.... Do you make up your autism? Your MH? Your IBS? Nope, didn't think so. That makes you a genuinely disabled person, not a fraud.

[Paula]

Hidden disabilities are just as much disabilities as missing a leg. And just as devastating to normal life. Accept you are disabled, accept the help offered to you and move on to living your life

[Suzi]

Exactly as Paula says...

[Stella180]

I totally get what you are saying and I would tell anyone else the same thing but…Hi I’m Stella and I’m a massive hypocrite.

[Suzi]

No, you're Stella and you haven't learnt to treat you with the same kindness - actually a shred of the kindness that you show your friends....

[Stella180]

Nah I’m a dick who just tries not be lol

Do you guys not have a feeling of dread when you see the words “are you/do you class yourself as disabled? Thinking about it I guess some folk feel awkward about ethnicity or sexuality too. It’s all personal but that fear of people judging you based on your answer is there.

[Paula]

No, i accept that’s part of who I am. But not all I am. I also realised a long time ago that I wouldn’t be me without this journey

[Suzi]

For me? I did and then I realised that I actually ticking that box would, in fact make my life easier... Also as Paula says, it's part of who I am. I am Suzi who has disabilities, not disabled person who is Suzi... Itms?