From crisis to hope....I hope!!

[Paula]

It makes a huge difference, but it does sometimes take time to get used to the mask.

[SJW180]

Yeah it’s not very comfortable at first but really does make a huge difference. I know for me I’d forgotten what a full 8hrs quality sleep felt like. I found my chest hurt for a couple of days when I first starting using it, probably cos everything was working properly for the first time in a long time so my lungs got a bit of a work out lol

[Strugglingmum]

A successful EMDR session this morning followed by a good swim and I've been lounging since as I'm out tonight.

I've been mulling over what a friend said to me last week.
She said, you need to walk away from therapy and get on with your life. Stop dragging up the past.
I know it came from a good place but how do I move on when I have flashbacks every day?
Anyway, I haven't come to a conclusion. I've been in therapy for years now, maybe I do just need to walk away but I'm scared what that might look like. Maybe I need to have more faith in myself.

[Jaquaia]

What people don't understand is that therapy can mean any one of over 400 different modalities. Some forms won't work with some individuals, I'm terrible with pure CBT for example. But some forms are designed to work with specific issues, such as EMDR. EMDR could help you get on with your life, you won't know until you have had a significant number of sessions. If EMDR helps you gain control over the flashbacks then personally, I think it's worth continuing. You are better mentally when you have less flashbacks too. Only you can make the decision though.

[Strugglingmum]

You see that's what I think Jaq, so thank you for saying that, I've been doubting myself and my instincts

[Strugglingmum]

I had a lie in this morning after a busy day yesterday. I made a nice breakfast and I'm sipping my coffee deciding on the day ahead. It's one of those days when the sun is out but rain doesn't feel too far away.

[SJW180]

It’s a bit windy round this way and forecast rain all afternoon. Think I’ll be taking the bus today cos I hate riding in the rain.

[Strugglingmum]

As I thought, once I was at the furthest distance from my house on my walk, it started to rain grr!!
Got a pile of ironing done though so the day has been productive

[Strugglingmum]

A beautiful day here. Had a lovely walk in just my t-shirt, had to take my hoodie off........ and yes I did have something on my bottom half!!

[Jaquaia]

Phew! That's a relief! I don't have enough to bail you out! (giggle)

[Strugglingmum]

(rofl)(rofl)

[SJW180]

I’m so glad you didn’t go out to just a hoodie and a t-shirt lol

[Strugglingmum]

Spent a lovely weekend away with the hubby. It was lovely just to relax and chill together. Lots of walking on the beach and breathing

[Jaquaia]

Sounds perfect!

[SJW180]

Sounds like the perfect weekend

[Strugglingmum]

Was out early this morning taking Katie to the vet for a review. All good and I can start to build up her walks slowly .

Came home to a letter from Pip that my award is continuing. Weight off my mind there!!

[Strugglingmum]

I have had quite a stressful few days and feel very empty and poured out. Today I'm heading for a swim to help fill my bucket again. I've learnt that I cant keep pouring out from empty without very adversely affecting my Mental Health. To look after everyone else I need to look after me. I'm getting my nails done too.

[Paula]

That sounds like a plan! Hope you can give back to you today (panda)

[SJW180]

Enjoy your swim. How is Katie doing? Are you two getting out much?

[Strugglingmum]

I'm going to get my shoulder injected again this afternoon. Hopefully some relief from pain coming my way.
My eldest is away in London for the weekend but I have the other 2 here so still running after everyone

[Paula]

I’m sorry you’re still in pain, love. Hope the injection helps

[Strugglingmum]

Injection went well yesterday. I'm supposed to be resting my arm over the weekend but I had a meeting this morning and had 100 mile round trip to drive. Home and feet up. Left home at 7:30 am. My spoons are used up for the day

[Paula]

Rest tomorrow?

[Strugglingmum]

My great niece is getting christened tomorrow so family time and dinner out. However next week should be quiet.

[SJW180]

Is the word rest in your vocabulary? Lol

[OldMike]

Hopefully this week will be less hectic and you can get some crochet done.

[Strugglingmum]

EMDR and a swim. Lovely start to the day.... not!!
Ah well, has to be done.
Have a good one everyone

[Paula]

How’s it going, love?

[Strugglingmum]

I can honestly say I am struggling with EMDR but if I want to move beyond my symptoms then I need to do it. We are moving at a slow pace to try and make it as easy for me as possible. If I'm able to swim after it's a real help to clear my head.

[Paula]

(panda) I think you’ve got the courage of a lion - or maybe King Fu Panda

[OldMike]

Kungfu Pandas are great or am I getting mixed up with Tony the Tiger and his Frosties advert.

[Strugglingmum]

(rofl)

[Strugglingmum]

I'm putting off starting my to do list today.
Need to get some motivation. Its finally stopped raining here as well .

[Paula]

(panda)

[OldMike]

I'm putting off starting my to do list today.
Need to get some motivation. Its finally stopped raining here as well .

Same here though look at Scotland and Derbyshire you gotta feel for the floods there.

Making a list is a good start.

(bear)

[Strugglingmum]

Very productive day for me.
Haircut and blow dried, paid for new sofas which have arrived in store, being delivered on Wednesday, called into Currys to sort out a problem with my printer and bought not 1 but 3 dresses for a wedding in December..... I am only keeping 1 but I need my daughter's opinion as A likes all 3

[Jaquaia]

How are you feeling about it all? Positive? Or a case of needs must?

[Paula]

What are the dresses like?

[Strugglingmum]

Jaq I'm ok. I've slept better this week so that helps the mood.
Paula they are all very different and all have a lot of positives so hard to choose....although if course A likes the bodycon one!!

[Paula]

(rofl)

[Strugglingmum]

Went for a swim today, then faced the shopping centre for the weekly shop. It was so awfully busy, our kids are still off for half term.

[Paula]

Are you resting this weekend?

[Strugglingmum]

Um not really, but A has just treated me to a toffee nut latte so that's a nice surprise. Tonight it will be feet up with my crochet

[Paula]

Good. Are you making enough time for you, love?

[Strugglingmum]

Today I've been stepping away and hibernating as needed. I'm a bit better this evening than this morning

[Paula]

Good to hear. You definitely benefit from some me time….

[Strugglingmum]

Cooking for our lovely seniors lunch club today. Up and at em as the saying goes

[Paula]

How’d it go?

[Strugglingmum]

Lunch was lovely. They are a great crowd.
I had a panic attack today and I'm still very jittery. So much so that I have just taken a diazepam which I haven't used in about a year.

[SJW180]

Sorry about the panic attack. I’m not a big fan of benzos but you have them there for a reason. I hope it gave you the relief you needed.

[Paula]

Well done for using the tools you have to help you through, love (panda)

[Strugglingmum]

I'm all packed, car loaded and ready to head off for 4 days to the retreat. Now that I've reached this point I feel a lot calmer. Hopefully it stays that way!!!

[SJW180]

Enjoy the long weekend. I’m sure it will go great.

[Paula]

Yay for calmer :). Enjoy, lovely

[OldMike]

Calm is good I'm sure you'll enjoy things when you get there.

[Paula]

Hey, lovey, could you close this thread please? It’s gotten a bit long :)

[Strugglingmum]

I was away working at a retreat. I have to be honest, I came back thoroughly exhausted, it has taken me days to feel even halfway human. I'll sort this thread out tomorrow when my brain hopefully is in better working order.

[Paula]

Welcome back, love

[Paula]

Hi, love, how are you doing? Recovered?

[OldMike]

I can appreciate you being tired after the retreat, I'll bet a lot of good came from your time at the retreat.

When you regain your strength get out that "mods pencil" and sort a new thread out.

Cheers Mike (mod retired) ;)

[Strugglingmum]

Closing this thread