Hello all

[Reapy]

Hi all, I'm Reapy, I'm a single mum in Dorset. I work part time as a domestic cleaner/home help for vulnerable adults. I absolutely love my job, even though I'm self employed so I don't get any time off.

I have been diagnosed with depression, GAD, OCD (not related to the cleaning, although it does mean I spot tiny details that others might miss) and BPD (or EUPD if you prefer). It's not easy and I have some really bad days as well as some really lovely ones, I'm really looking for somewhere where people will understand if I need to vent or if I just need to sit quietly.

I am a natural carer and I tend to give way too much of myself and end up burning out, but I'm trying to address this.

I also really like sci-fi books and tv, terrible movies that are so bad they're good, alternative music (although most music is good depending on the mood). I do love going to cafe's and eating out too, but that's not happening any time soon lol

But yeah. that's me. Hi! *waves*

[Jaquaia]

Hi and welcome

[Suzi]

Hi and welcome to DWD. Lovely to meet you! Have you spoken to your Dr about the way that you are feeling? Have you got any support around you?

[Reapy]

My doctor is aware of my diagnoses and stuff, although there's not really much they can do beyond medication and a long wait list for help. But I'm coping overall, more often than not anyway lol I have my partner in my support bubble and she's a great help, although she lives with and cares for her mother so we can't live together and really can't see each other in the evenings unless my small human is with her dad.

I can vent to her though, although she does struggle with how to deal with it.

[Paula]

*waves back* Hi and welcome! This really is a very friendly and supportive place to be, it’s lovely to meet you and I look forward to getting to know you better :)

[Suzi]

It's great you have your partner to talk to lovely, but you know you can vent here too ;)

[Strugglingmum]

Hi. Lovely to meet you. Sounds like you are a busy person.
This is a safe friendly place and perfect for listening and venting.
Did I pick up that you have a little one? What age? Are you having to homeschool at present?
I love being out and a out too so yes lockdown is quite difficult in that.
Anyway, feel free to join in the chat.

[Reapy]

Yeah, I have a 10 year old daughter and we're part home schooling at the moment. She goes into school when I'm working and I managed to cram all my clients into 2 days of the week to limit the amount of time she has to spend at school.
In a way the home schooling is more stressful than work because I can't even pop across the road for a pint of milk or help my partner when she's at home. We can't even go out for a walk for exercise until later in the evening. I feel more trapped with it than I did with the first lockdown. Unfortunately my daughter needs a set schedule and supervision with her work or she'll finish one task and wander off or we'll be still going through her subjects until 8-9pm. We did have one day when there was so much work for her to do and we'd left it until mid day to start so we could go food shopping that she didn't finish her work until 8pm. And that just left us both feeling awful.

One thing I have learned is that her teacher deserves all the wine lol

[Suzi]

Hunni, If you/she is struggling with the home schooling contact your school. They should be able to help with taking some of the tasks off etc...

[Reapy]

I know, I just worry about the school thinking I can't cope. Intellectually I know there will be no judgement, but my emotional brain is screaming "They'll call Social Services on you". So we plod along as best we can.

[Suzi]

Oh love, I'm an ex teacher, I have a lot of teacher friends and I contacted the school during lockdown 1 because our youngest wasn't coping at all! It didn't matter how much help I was giving or how many hours we were working on it together... Call the school. Social services will not think anything wrong about it as the school won't even call them love.
Sounds to me like you're doing brilliantly in really difficult situations!
How old is your daughter?

[Paula]

I know, I just worry about the school thinking I can't cope. Intellectually I know there will be no judgement, but my emotional brain is screaming "They'll call Social Services on you". So we plod along as best we can.

Sweetie, parents all over the country will be having exactly the same conversations with schools. This is not about you not coping, it’s about all of us being in an absolutely unprecedented, impossible situation and doing our absolute best. And you ARE both doing your absolute best. If you both need a little support from the school, then ask for it - they’ll be glad you talked to them rather than leaving it and ending up with both of you having a breakdown.....

[Reapy]

Thank you both, I'm plucking up the courage to speak to them on Monday. Luckily she's in school on a Tuesday and a Friday because I'm classed as a key worker and need childcare to go to work. Although because she's in school just 2 days a week it does mean we don't get any help with the free school meals vouchers because she's getting free school meals twice a week at school. It's not a huge headache, but dealing with the knowledge that someone, somewhere is making £9 a week off my child is a little worrying.

She's 10 years old now, so I did think I could queue up her work and leave her to it, but she needs constant supervision or she'll just wander off. I can't even make a cup of tea when she has school work because she will just stop working for that time frame. I have no idea how teachers cope doing this with 30 odd children all doing this at the same time! lol

[Suzi]

Lol, thing is it's very different in a classroom rather than a home setting! The jobs are very different!
That's ridiculous that you don't get any of the help...