View Full Version : The final stretch
Jaquaia
19-11-20, 10:00 PM
(rofl)(rofl)(rofl)
I was just imagining J posing for a CK billboard ad and then realised you meant trains
(rofl)(rofl)(rofl)
Morning love, how are you today?
Jaquaia
20-11-20, 09:02 AM
I'm tired. J is covering an extra shift for someone who had a bereavement so I'm on solo mum duty until he gets home.
Then can you try to pace today and not push yourself? Oh, and I love that you called it mum duty :)
Jaquaia
20-11-20, 09:10 AM
I have the towels in the washer and other than that, I don't plan on doing much. A bit of uni work and a bit of reading. Beds have all been changed, the house is mostly tidy and the floors have all been hoovered so nothing really urgently needs doing!
I agree with Paula, I love that it's "Mum" duty too!
Do you have anything nice planned to do with them today? Do you have them all weekend?
Jaquaia
20-11-20, 09:30 AM
I'll get homework out of the way with them when they get home then might do some Christmas crafts with A. Tomorrow A has dance class via zoom and then I'm in control of the tv, and Sunday I don't know yet. They're with us until Thursday
Not doing the Christmas crafts with T as well?
Jaquaia
20-11-20, 09:49 AM
He can if he wants but he tends to get bored easily
It's great that you can do all this stuff with them that they haven't had before...
Jaquaia
20-11-20, 10:26 AM
I don't mind doing it. We're going to do baubles today. I've drawn them all out and painted the top bits in silver so A can glitter glue to her hearts content and I'll cut them out when they're dry
I think you quite enjoy doing it.... Sounds awesome!
Jaquaia
20-11-20, 10:33 AM
I am. And J has said that he'd rather have loads of stuff made by the kids than tacky Christmas decorations so that's what we'll do!
Exactly as it should be! So fab!
Jaquaia
20-11-20, 11:16 AM
I agree with you at the moment! I might not by the time I've finished cuttingndown the paper for paper chains!
Stella180
20-11-20, 11:24 AM
Paper chains are the best!
Some years ago I copied some templates on google images for penguins, angels and reindeer and made some with felt, stuffed them, made eyes etc and and put the names of the grandkids and Ian and I on them in small silver sequins. Each were presented with their own and still today are kept and put on the trees every christmas....little heirlooms to remember us all by for many years to come I hope. Lovely that you and the kids are making ownyour decs. I'm sure they'll be cherished and will mean so much more than bought ones.
That sounds so good Jaq, I hope you enjoy the day.
Jaquaia
20-11-20, 01:05 PM
These are a few I've done
https://www.dropbox.com/s/9fhp1jhky2i2gq9/20201120_124357.jpg?raw=1
They're lovely Jaq! Did the kids enjoy doing them? I miss not doing things with my G. kids.:s
Jaquaia
20-11-20, 02:11 PM
This big kid loved doing them!! (rofl)
I'll let you know later Flo!
Jaquaia
27-11-20, 08:52 PM
I have not just decorated the windows by the front door as J is at work and can't complain about Christmas decorations going up in November (angel)(giggle)
Loving this. And I hope he will enjoy it too (inlove)
Jaquaia
28-11-20, 11:24 AM
https://www.dropbox.com/s/vhssbdb3a00q540/83196e6d-fcaa-4434-aaf9-6d7fbe1d2cc4.jpg?raw=1
https://www.dropbox.com/s/arownq8iy5skamj/d89718bd-31d6-4c88-bfbb-2a15ff9854a8.jpg?raw=1
subtle and beautiful. I am (inlove)
Love that!
How are you this morning?
Jaquaia
28-11-20, 12:15 PM
I'm ok. Just had a tutorial and really enjoyed it.
Jaquaia
28-11-20, 12:49 PM
We have spare baubles so I'm going to make a wreath for the front door too.
Jaquaia
02-12-20, 09:44 AM
The bookshops are open!!! This excites me more than Christmas!
Stella180
02-12-20, 09:52 AM
(rofl) N.E.R.D (rofl)
ROFL! (rofl) (rofl) (rofl)
Jaquaia
02-12-20, 10:37 AM
Well duh! This is me we're talking about! (giggle)
Stella180
02-12-20, 01:20 PM
Wouldn’t have you any other way mate.
Jaquaia
02-12-20, 04:29 PM
They're ok. I have 4 new books thanks to Stella and new books make everything ok
Stella180
02-12-20, 04:40 PM
4 new books!!! Blimey, I thought I was a bargain hunter but you did alright out of that.
OO what books did you get?
They're ok. I have 4 new books thanks to Stella and new books make everything okBlimey Jaq! don't end up like me...preferring a bacon butty and a good book to sex!(rofl)
Stella180
02-12-20, 04:51 PM
Everyone knows a bacon butty is better than sex.
Jaquaia
02-12-20, 04:56 PM
https://www.dropbox.com/s/f2yr6qe3oyu93l5/20201202_150006.jpg?raw=1
Depends on the sex Flo ;)
magie06
02-12-20, 05:58 PM
I bought myself 4 books today. I'm really enjoying getting into a good book again. Reading was very difficult for me for years.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/f2yr6qe3oyu93l5/20201202_150006.jpg?raw=1
Depends on the sex Flo ;)Don't care!!(yawn) what are the strips of funny little things in the photo top right? Batteries??
Jaquaia
03-12-20, 09:36 AM
Yes, the little button batteries. The kids had some light up decorations that needed them
Morning love, how are you today?
Jaquaia
03-12-20, 09:50 AM
I'm ok
Jaquaia
03-12-20, 10:30 AM
Been better
What's up? Wanna talk about it?
Jaquaia
03-12-20, 10:43 AM
Not really
Fair enough, but we're here if you want to.
Jaquaia
04-12-20, 10:04 PM
Just waiting for my tutor to get back to me but I think I'm going to do my project on mental health support in the rail industry. I've found some really interesting stuff that doesn't focus on suicide so I may actually get it past ethics! And lets face it, I'm living with a case study (giggle)
That's a really cool idea and something that I'm sure that you'll be the only one who has done it or will be doing it.
Jaquaia
05-12-20, 11:48 AM
There is some research but it's all statistical, not talking to people like I would be doing.
How is your weekend going?
Jaquaia
06-12-20, 02:30 PM
It's quiet but I can cope with that.
Quiet sounds good love! Just you and J and Toby this weekend?
Jaquaia
06-12-20, 03:24 PM
And the kids. And stupid elf bags that just feel like a load of tat that I really don't see the point of as it's Christmas in 3 weeks! But the grandparents are a law unto themselves!
Oh no! You're not having to "elf on the shelf?" Is it just me who finds it creepy?
Jaquaia
06-12-20, 04:00 PM
No, T has asked and got a blunt no.
The elf bags are literally what it says on the tin. A bag with an elf on. The grandparents have been doing them for a few years. They've got around 8 presents each in them plus a lot of chocolate and to me, it's excessive. It's Christmas soon, they don't need a bag full of presents, and all it's done is cause issues as all we've had today is "I want" and "can we have" and sulking when told no. They do one for J too and he doesn't like it as it all stresses him out and he hates Christmas as it is because of previous experiences, but if you tell his parents they get offended.
I don't know if it's the difference in upbringing or what but I don't get it and I don't get buying for the sake of buying. Not to mention it feels like they have a pack of pencil crayons each and we asked them in summer to stop buying them pencil crayons as they've bought 3 sets already this year!
Oh that sounds excessive to me too!
Yes, me too! They buy it all and you have to suffer the consequences! When I was a kid....no smirking please, and yes they HAD invented the wheel!!.....we only had presents on birthdays and at Christmas, now kids are getting stuff all year round! When does it end??
Morning lovely, how are you today?
Jaquaia
07-12-20, 09:27 AM
I'm ok just tired and cold. We've had freezing fog!
Oh no! Hope you warm up soon lovely.
Any warmer? Wrap up well, lovely
Jaquaia
07-12-20, 01:22 PM
Yes thanks. We've got the shopping out of the way and home now with the heating on. Going to get some wrapping out of the way then research for my assignment!
Jaquaia
07-12-20, 04:44 PM
I was right and the bloody elf bags were full of tat and have now really (swear)(swear)(swear)(swear)ed me off!
I have to say, my kids used to love tat more than anything else ;). But, hunni, I wonder if the in laws are struggling to cope with what’s happened over the last couple of years, realising what Cruella was doing to J and the kids when they may have felt they should have protected them from her, and they might be clinging on to these traditions to try to feel less guilty?
Jaquaia
07-12-20, 06:12 PM
Maybe they should focus on actually being his parents then instead of undermining him constantly and adding to his stress, as they are a massive contributor to his anxiety levels. In fact, they constantly make him feel like the children are far more important to them then he is as he gets very little support from them, no matter how much he tells them he is struggling. Don't get me wrong, I get on well with them, but sometimes they make our lives far harder than it needs to be
I think that's par for the course with grandparents. Marc's Mum can be a complete pita. I can't tell you the amount of full on meltdowns B had when he was little and she just went, "oh he's not well. Come on little one, Nanny loves you so much. Come with me and I'll get you ......." All the f*ing time! I could have swung for her so many times, esp knowing how bad a childhood both M and his sister had.... HOWEVER, my Mum does the same, so I've come to the conclusion that it's actually not them trying to make my life harder, but to spoil them a bit and to give them things that they wouldn't get from me. Yes it's annoying and on many occasions it's hard Marc and I furious with either of them... My Mum wouldn't dare to speak to my kids the way she speaks to me, she knows she'd not be allowed to do it and knows I'd make sure of it.... The thing is, my Mum didn't have money or time with us when we were growing up and needed her, Marc's Mum was babysitting Marc's Dad and trying to grow up (she was and still struggles with being a grown up) and now they can, so they want to spoil and spend time. It's just how it is....
Does that rambling make any sense at all?
It is that way with grandparents, usually. Things that they would never have done for their own kids, for whatever reason (often not enough time or money) they’ll bend over backwards to do for the grandkids. To me, it sounds like they’re trying to make up for what they couldn’t do for J by spoiling the kids. It’s not right, it’s not fair, but it is how it often is
Stella180
07-12-20, 09:04 PM
I know I’m never popular when I comment on these things but as far as the split up goes yes they will feel guilty for not realising just how bad things were for J but when it comes to divorce it’s the kids who are caught in the middle so why wouldn’t the grandparents wanna prioritise them so that having the parents living apart doesn’t hurt quite as much? Just offering a different perspective. Unfortunately the older generation aren’t the best when it comes to dealing with mental health. They were raised in the shrug it off and get on with it era.
I remember my grandmother. Always nice and caring. But to my mother and her brothers and sisters she was terrible. I wont talk about what she did. But its a horror story.
But then why was she so good to us? No idea. But its something that happens often.
Its a shame how the in laws are treating your family. With little to no respect to J. And sometimes it could be as simple as a hug and telling him; I understand. Its ok.
Its the little things i guess.
Jaquaia
07-12-20, 09:25 PM
I guess I just have very little tolerance for people who use emotional blackmail to get their own way. I'm not going to excuse them making their only sons life more difficult and feel like he's not worth as much after how they've been with him in the past.
Well thats not a bad thing. I think its a good thing. There are people that do not deserve a lot of tolerance. And I have gotten to know you as a woman that had her compass pointing in the right direction.
Are you sure they truly realise what they’re doing? So many of us have blind spots with family members....
Emotional blackmail? What is it that they are trying to get? What kind of things are they saying/doing?
Jaquaia
08-12-20, 11:25 AM
It's emotional blackmail when you tell your son that he either goes to the local uni or they'll sell his car. That's scarred him enough that it came up recently in counselling. Not to mention how many times they've stuck me in the middle of things.
Ok but has that got a bearing on their relationship with the kids? Should it? Should it mean the kids don’t get something that is a tradition between them - whatever you think of the elf bags, whatever you think of how they behaved to J?
Jaquaia
08-12-20, 12:10 PM
Actually, changing my reply.
I can't be bothered anymore. So just going to lock my thread and not bother. I'll stick to my mod duties
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