emily91
13-10-20, 03:52 PM
and I guess that's all I have for now. I am "bad" at life
it's like someone dumped me in the middle of nowhere, leaving me no instruction manual or no tools, and somehow expecting me to survive
most of my friends have moved on, because I'm " bringing them down", which is fair enough- they all have their goals, and their direction, they don't want to waste their time waiting for me and I don't blame them (I see myself as the most boring person on planet earth)
family arn't a great support to me, most of the time saying things to me like " well, we're glad you're depressed, we're glad you're suffering" and laughing so hard you'd think it's commedy night at the apollo
I have even had professionals turn to me and say I've never seen someone so depressed as you, and telling me they " don't think we can help you", and move me on to the next person
I guess it all started for me when I realised that 1 day, I was going to have freedom, 1 day I was going to have to make my own way.
it wasnt a problem as a child..I was told things- it's time for school, it's time for bed, you need to go to this room for your next class, and even at home my mother would be like this is what's for dinner, this is what we're watching, this is what we're doing at the weekend.. and now I'm on my own without that, I feel like someone (like I said) without an instruction manual for life
I was never given the choice of things. I never had to choose, and now it seems like I am going from day to day, feeling unfor filled, at the end of the day feeling like I'm just wasting my life- and tomorrow when I get up, I'll just waste it some more
I think the worst part about all this is not really wanting anything. I'm not happy, far from happy, but their is nothing in the world (at least that I can think of) that will make me feel that way
this post was longer than I intended but their we have it
hi
it's like someone dumped me in the middle of nowhere, leaving me no instruction manual or no tools, and somehow expecting me to survive
most of my friends have moved on, because I'm " bringing them down", which is fair enough- they all have their goals, and their direction, they don't want to waste their time waiting for me and I don't blame them (I see myself as the most boring person on planet earth)
family arn't a great support to me, most of the time saying things to me like " well, we're glad you're depressed, we're glad you're suffering" and laughing so hard you'd think it's commedy night at the apollo
I have even had professionals turn to me and say I've never seen someone so depressed as you, and telling me they " don't think we can help you", and move me on to the next person
I guess it all started for me when I realised that 1 day, I was going to have freedom, 1 day I was going to have to make my own way.
it wasnt a problem as a child..I was told things- it's time for school, it's time for bed, you need to go to this room for your next class, and even at home my mother would be like this is what's for dinner, this is what we're watching, this is what we're doing at the weekend.. and now I'm on my own without that, I feel like someone (like I said) without an instruction manual for life
I was never given the choice of things. I never had to choose, and now it seems like I am going from day to day, feeling unfor filled, at the end of the day feeling like I'm just wasting my life- and tomorrow when I get up, I'll just waste it some more
I think the worst part about all this is not really wanting anything. I'm not happy, far from happy, but their is nothing in the world (at least that I can think of) that will make me feel that way
this post was longer than I intended but their we have it
hi