My family and other animals

[Pen]

Hi
It's been a long time since I have posted on here. Life has been good however I need to talk tonight.
It's been a (swear)(swear)(swear)(swear) year for everyone so I apologize for burdening you with my problems.
Back in January my 94 year old father was informed that the flat he had rented for the previous 10 years had been sold to a new owner who wanted him out.
It devistated him. Eventually in conjunction with social services we found him a flat in a complex. It was idea. HOWEVER the day we moved him in the lockdown started. I had effectively put him in a prison.
6 weeks into the lockdown he had a fall. He went into hospital. Whilst in hospital he contracted Covid 19.
He was in hospital for another 6 weeks when he came out it was agreed that he could no longer look after himself. He went into a nursing home and another 2 weeks quarantine.
When finally got to see him again he was a different man. He had wasted away and was living in his own very happy fantasy.
Last week the home told me he was dying. I went to see him. He was a skeleton. Still happy though. I will see him later today. They say he does not have long now.
I feel so cheated by the blasted virus. Being in lock down then isolated from us for so long has destroyed him.
My eldest brother has upset me deeply with a comment he made but that is another story. Thankfully typing this out has helped to settle me a bit.
Pen

[Stella180]

I tried to explain to someone the other day that you don’t need to have COVID-19 for it to cause your death. I’m sorry you dad has struggled so much through lockdown. He’s had to endure so much and so have you. None of this is your fault.

[Strugglingmum]

I am so so sorry Pen.
What a horrible situation and what a bog awful 6 months it's been.
You and your family have really been through the mill but please know you have made only the best decisions you could in every way.
There are no words to describe how I feel about Covid (well no good ones).
Sending you much love as you walk through this sad time.

[Paula]

I’m so sorry, Pen, what a horrible, horrible time for you all. Love, you are never a burden to us and we miss you when you’re away - please always know that we are here for you (panda)

[Pen]

I just feel at the moment that everyone wants a bit of me and I have nothing left to give out. I am needed by my students, my son and daughter, my Dad, my brothers, my partner, her mum, my partner's kids, my dogs
There just does not seem be anything left.

[Suzi]

Oh love, I'm so sorry. What a horrible thing to be going on. Have you told those around you that you're finding things tough and right now it needs to be you focussing on you and your Dad and told them all to back off a bit?

[Pen]

Not sure I can.
I have to do the extra work to make anywhere close to being able to pay the bills.

[Paula]

Why not? Other than work, the others should be supporting you right now, not the other way round

[Angie]

(bear) hun but I do agree with Paula xx

[Suzi]

Sweetheart if you don't get some of what you need - support and understanding then things are going to only get more difficult lovely....

[Stella180]

I absolutely agree with Paula. You do all you can for everyone else and now it’s time for them to support you and your father. These are grown adults who need to step up to the plate and do their bit to help you out for a change. That’s how family works.

[Pen]

My partner is very supportive. She recognises when things get bad and we are having a meeting later this morning with my daughter to see how we can alter the workload.

[Paula]

That’s a sensible plan

[Suzi]

Good. I'm glad you're doing that. I know you always feel that you have to do everything for everyone hunni, but maybe this time you need to get someone else to take on a bit more whilst you deal with everything to do with your Dad too...

[Strugglingmum]

I'm glad you have someone to support you.
You cant give from an empty vessel.

[Pen]

So we had the meeting and H agreed to run one of the classes by herself. Next week is our shut down week then in the new term we will cut two classes to make it easier
The worrying thing is that I have done a projection of the companies figures and we will make only a small profit this year. When my regular outgoings go from my personal account I am forecasting that I will have quite a shortfall in my accounts.
Dad is still hanging in there. He is like a skeleton but he is still eating and is happy. He sleeps a lot and his dreams are his reality.
My partner arty is such a comfort to me. Having spent 34 years with a man who did not want to be with me and do things with me but just wanted to drop in for a cuppa and a moan, having a partner who wants to share my life is amazing.
To try and reduce the shortfall I am looking at new products. Baby dragons are getting a lot of interest at the moment. The lovely thing about social media is you can present a product and see what the public reaction is like without having to actually get it in the shops.

[Paula]

I love your baby dragons!

[Suzi]

I too love your baby dragons! They are amazing!
I love that you and arty have not only found each other, but that you are together and living life together. I'm so happy you have her in your life.

[OldMike]

I've seen your baby dragons on FB they are adorable though remember baby dragons grow in to BIG dragons which can be scary (giggle)

[Suzi]

Hunni, I've seen your beautiful post about the passing away of your Dad. I'm so sorry lovely.... In my thoughts.

[Jaquaia]

So sorry (panda)

[Angie]

(bear)(panda)

[EJ]

I’m so sorry Pen xx

[Strugglingmum]

Sorry for your loss. X(panda)

[Paula]

(panda) that post was such a tribute to your dad, he sounds like a wonderful person. I’m so sorry

[Pen]

Thank you everyone. I feel a bit adrift at the moment and am glad Arty can provide a rock to hang on to. My brother is going to sort out the official stuff for me. Unfortunately our other brother who lives in Canada is the named executor and neither wants or is able to act in this role. This means more paperwork to get him relieved of the role and for my other brother to take it on. Once that is sorted then he will deal with all that which will take a load off me. I am sorting the registration stuff and the funeral. I am seeing the undertaker tomorrow.

[Stella180]

It’s a tough time but glad you are all pulling together at this time as a family.

[Strugglingmum]

Thinking of you and your family.

[Suzi]

Huge hugs lovely (bear) (bear) It's good that your brother is helping out and it's not you doing everything.

[Paula]

How are you being kind to you right now?

[OldMike]

(bear) (panda)

[Angie]

I'm glad that you have some support and your not on your own sorting things sweetie xx