View Full Version : Sunshine after the rain
Strugglingmum
12-08-20, 09:12 PM
I've been meaning to start a new thread for a few weeks as my other is just so long but one of the things stopping me was that I couldn't think of a title for my thread but this song has been in my head all day. I thought, "That's it!! I do want to see the sunshine after the rain so, perfect title".
(sorry if you are all now singing it too). It feels like I've been under the dark rain clouds for a long time but the sun is coming out again and I'm learning to lift my face to the sun and smile again.
Really enjoyed my second post-lockdown swim today but oh my goodness, my muscles ache!! Life is getting a bit busier again and I'm finding that I'm having to take a lot of deep breaths throughout the day to reset my brain and slow down a bit to let me think. As things open up again I'm needing to keep reminding myself, "leave room to breathe. Leave time to heal. Have permission to just be".
My habit was always to take on too much, be busy and distract, distract, distract. One thing lockdown has taught me is.... I need time and space for me to be able to think properly.
That’s a pretty great lesson to learn - though not the ideal way to learn it...... :o
OldMike
12-08-20, 10:19 PM
The thread title reminds me of the Dire Straits song Why Worry.
Let's all sing along.
Why worry, there should be laughter after pain
There should be sunshine after rain
These things have always been the same
So why worry now?
Why worry now?
Strugglingmum
12-08-20, 10:40 PM
Don't know that one Mike.
I was thinking more of the Elkie Brooks classic or the Berri 90s clubland remix. Could you just imagine me raving!!(rofl)
The thread title reminds me of the Dire Straits song Why Worry.
Let's all sing along.
Why worry, there should be laughter after pain
There should be sunshine after rain
These things have always been the same
So why worry now?
Why worry now?
I grew up with Dire Straits - I love this one
I love your new thread title! I'm so proud of you knowing that it's important to "just be" ;)
magie06
13-08-20, 12:06 PM
Happy New thread. I hope today treats you kindly.
Strugglingmum
13-08-20, 05:10 PM
What a palaver of a day!!!!
My daughter is heading out with her friends tonight post A level celebration. She has known this for weeks but this morning decided she had nothing to wear, we raided my wardrobe and found a couple of standby things but nothing she was 100% happy with especially as she has put on 1 stone over lockdown with not being on the building site. Had to go to the couple of towns near us to try find something. We eventually came home with 2 choices for her to try on. She likes both... thank goodness. We now have to be out in less than an hour to get her up to Belfast to meet her friends. Shower, hair, makeup.. I may not survive!! However I'm delighted she is socialising and is out of her safety blanket of Jeans/sweats and hoodie. She is in a dress!!:o
Awww I miss that with Katie - Jess will never do that, she’s glued to her hoodie!
Stella180
13-08-20, 06:25 PM
A dress? More chance of me going out naked that wearing a dress lol
How did she do in her A Levels?
Hope she has an amazing night!
Strugglingmum
13-08-20, 08:28 PM
Awww I miss that with Katie - Jess will never do that, she’s glued to her hoodie!
Normally I is as well and was going to tonight but I asked her she would be comfortable if all her friends were dolled up and she realised...no . Hence the shopping. Its walking a fine line of trying to encourage but not be critical of her choices. She looks fab, and she realises it too.
A dress? More chance of me going out naked that wearing a dress lol
Now that could be worth the flight(rofl)
How did she do in her A Levels?
Hope she has an amazing night!
She left after AS last year to do joinery but she is still in touch with her schoolmates and wanted to celebrate with them. May be the last chance for them all to be together as they are going off to different Unis. They prepaid £15 for tapas and a cocktail, dear knows what will happen after that. It's at a beer garden type place but that doesn't mean they will stay there
That sounds lovely! She seems to be happy with the joinery which is awesome.
Strugglingmum
14-08-20, 10:16 AM
I am shattered today. Didn't waken till 9:45am.
Late night out picking up my daughter after her night out.
She had a great time with her friends and they all got what they needed for uni, although a couple were disappointed with their grades.
Hoping to take it easy today, just some housework and want to do a facemask and hair mask.
Heading out tonight for dinner with a couple of friends. Steak night at the golf club. Should be nice.
Glad I had a good night out with her friends and they were mostly pleased with what they got.
Tonight sounds fun!
Mmmm steak ;)
Have a lovely evening
Strugglingmum
14-08-20, 06:22 PM
Ended up another busy day but out to meet friends for dinner so hopefully relax time...... and breathe.
Hope it was a good busy....
Strugglingmum
14-08-20, 10:01 PM
Lovely meal and catch up with friends. Nice steak and a sneaky wee pink gin.
Looking forward to hopefully a more relaxing weekend with time to breath and space to think. This week seems to have sped by.
I'm so glad you had a good time!
What things have you got on this week?
Lovely meal and catch up with friends. Nice steak and a sneaky wee pink gin.
Looking forward to hopefully a more relaxing weekend with time to breath and space to think. This week seems to have sped by.
Nothing wrong with a pink gin! Glad you had a good time out...it's necessary. Yes, where do the weeks go? It's frightening!
How's your day been lovely?
Strugglingmum
15-08-20, 06:50 PM
I am beyond exhausted today.
Woke up and took my son to work. Came home and cleaned and gutted all morning.
We have worked in the garden all afternoon. We are building natural stone walls and I have been lifting and moving rocks for A to build. Have just come in for some dinner. Think it will be feet up this evening although still have to tidy up outside a bit.
Will catch up with you all once I get some food into me and fire the laptop up.... so I can see better(rofl)
Maybe you've been overdoing it today??? Pacing tomorrow?
Good grief! Definitely pace!
Strugglingmum
15-08-20, 08:48 PM
All I've planned for tomorrow is a walk on the beach with the dog!!
I'm feeling too old for heavy work tonight. Rest day tomorrow, and I'm way behind on my crochet.
That sounds like fun! What are you making?
Strugglingmum
15-08-20, 11:27 PM
That sounds like fun! What are you making?
too many projects(rofl)
I'm testing a pattern for a designer and I have a couple of christmas pressies started. Also want to put a couple of new items on my page so need to make them first. I just need to prioritise a bit of crochet time. I think next week has less on. It's all good.
You're such a busy bee!...you put me to shame!! Feet up today Misses!
Strugglingmum
16-08-20, 09:36 AM
Rain, glorious rain here today!!!
You know what that means??? The cement mixer stays in the garage and I'm off duty from hodding lumps of rock around(rofl)
It also means I may need prodding out the door to take the dog to the beach. I sense a movie and crochet day
Your crochet sounds exciting!
Yay for a movie and crochet day! :)
Strugglingmum
16-08-20, 06:53 PM
Been a recharge day...... I refuse to say lazy day;)
Crochet and movie after movie.
Murder mystery, Hairspray, Moana and a bit of nostalgia with my daughter...High School Musical 2. Would you get the idea we love musicals?? (rofl)
I'm impressed we have managed to steer away from Pitch Perfect. It's our usual go to movie for a girlie day.
Just made a roast chicken dinner and ate every crumb. Doing much better with my eating recently. More or less back up to target weight. Was feeling a bit meh earlier but self care has been doing its job and feel more ready for the week ahead.
Awesome playlist for movies! :)
Definitely a recharge not a lazy day!
I'm so proud of you for getting your eating sorted and putting weight on!
Strugglingmum
16-08-20, 08:42 PM
.....and Mama Mia to end the day!!
AWESOME!
What are you up to today?
Strugglingmum
17-08-20, 06:13 PM
Wet wet wet here!
Left my son to work, went to knit and natter group then for a swim. Came home and my hubby and daughter had made dinner. It was lovely.....and I didn't have to make it so doubly nice. Washing sorted so crochet hook the rest of the night. :)
Sounds like the perfect end to a good day!...it's raining cats and dogs here!
Sounds like a good day - full of self care with the knit and natter and the swim. How awesome that they had cooked dinner!
Strugglingmum
17-08-20, 08:32 PM
When I came home I got a lot of questions.
How are you feeling?
How was your swim, did you enjoy it?
How's the form now, do you feel better?
I can surmise I was a little grumpy this morning per chance (blush)
Mind you.... I got dinner cooked for me so maybe I need to be a bit grumpy more often(giggle)
Wish that worked for me lol
Strugglingmum
17-08-20, 09:00 PM
Wish that worked for me lol
I've a feeling it was a one-off(rofl)
(rofl) Keep up the grumpy in the morning and report back ;)
Hmmm..might give grumpy a go myself, but knowing my luck I'll just get a smack!(rofl)
Morning gorgeous, how are you today?
Strugglingmum
18-08-20, 01:45 PM
Busy morning. Up and away to do the food shop, then appointment with my CPN, quick wool shop and home to put it all away. Waiting on lunch cooking.
I'm feeling anxious now. My CPN started the 'when we discharge you' conversation and it has set off a whole stream of emotions and thoughts.
I know I'm doing so much better and dont need their support as much so I have no idea why its inducing so much anxiety in me. I actually just feel like crying yet I know its illogical to feel that way. I have the tools in place to cope and I know I cant stay with them forever so why am I so fearful?
Of course, being me, I put up a huge front that I was fine, even though she was saying, this is in the future, not now, not even in the next couple of months.
I'm going to be fine, I'm going to be fine. I can do this. I'm so much better than I was. Change is ok.
Stella180
18-08-20, 02:13 PM
I hear you. When I was in counselling 12 sessions turned into 50 and they had to let me go, with the option to sign up again after 6 months, but it felt kinda weird cos that Thursday morning session each week was a part of my life and for it to be gone was terrifying. It’s a bit like driving alone for the first time after you pass your driving test, you don’t know how you can get by without someone offering instruction.
I can sympathise too. Sweetheart it's OK to be concerned about it - maybe you could change things from 1ce a week to 1ce every 2 weeks and then 1ce a month to try to do it gently so it's not a sudden shock?
Strugglingmum
18-08-20, 09:03 PM
I only see her every 4 weeks. I guess its knowing there is someone at the end of the phone. I think its also a fear of the future and what happens next. Anyway it's not happening right now so I need to let it settle a bit. Feeling emotional. Sparks are flying from the crochet hook tonight.
You've got this you know... Should you ever need them again you'll be able to get in contact with them. But you've got so many tools!
Morning sweetie.....how are you feeling today? Been reading your thread and pondering on your fears about your CPN discharging you in the future. I had those fears a few years ago. This is my take on it so I'll share my thoughts with you and you see if any of it makes sense. I had two appointments to go and was scared of what would happen when I was 'let go' so to speak. After a discussion with someone very clever but not connected at all with the medical profession the following was pointed out to me and I've held on to this ever since.
I was cocooned in a warm blanket of safety knowing that every 3 weeks or so I would see my counsellor who would sit there pen and file to hand and tell her/him what had happened since the last appointment. The suggestions and pointers made by the C put to good use. We'd chat and towards the end of the session I was given some more pointers and suggestions, and it was suggested that I use the new tools and put them into action and we'd talk about how I got on at the next session. The day came when after months of these sessions I was now more confident, unafraid, my self worth and self esteem rose considerably and I was able to function like a half decent human being/woman. I had been given the tools to take control of my life. I was in control of my life..life wasn't in control of me!
As soon as it was decided that maybe I could go forward without sessions, that I had done really well and that she was really pleased with me, I went home and the panic set in. I'll just say here that she stressed that she would always be at the end of the phone if she was needed.
The stabilisers had been taken off my bike and I was to cycle alone. How was I going to cope? what if this happened? what if that happened? I had it fixed in my mind that I was going to fall into the abyss and there was no one to save me. The world was going to end and me with it.
Back to the clever friend.....it was pointed out that it was ME that got to where I wanted to be..it was ME that had regained my self worth and self esteem....it was ME that gave me my confidence to go forward..and it was ME who finally had control of me and my life!
AA has taught me that "There is nothing to fear except fear itself". The counsellor/CPN has been trained to help us accept the past and to move on....we empty our guts to them and over a period of time their expertise, pointers and suggestions help us to rebuild our lives
but it is US that rebuilds it! It's YOU SM that has made all of the changes, it is YOU that has turned your life around and it is YOU that has the confidence to take control of life. Personally...I can only speak for myself here...I think that I was and sometimes still am so used to having crap in my life that when good things happen and I'm on a roll I get suspicious and I'm convinced that crap is around the corner to ruin everything, because that is/was what I'm used to. And the old Flo creeps in uninvited!
Don't be afraid to wake up every day with optimism. You've worked hard to get where you are today. Like nearly all of us with the illness of anxiety and depression we are strong people, we are survivors whether we realise it or not. Nothing bad is going to happen... and if we do have the odd blip we'll instinctively know how to deal with it. You are a lovely person, mum and wife. I often wonder how it is that we can sort other people's lives but we find it hard to sort our own...odd isn't it?...Anyway....have a lovely day. Live in the day with your kids, dog and hubby. Try and do nice things. Remember that you are a strong woman and you've made yourself that way. I shall waffle on no more and make a coffee and have a fag! Hubby is looking over my shoulder and probably thinks I'm having an affair! Luvya lots!
Oh! and one more thing....you aren't a 'Struggling mum' because our higher power won't let us struggle.(panda)
That's a f****ing brilliant post Flo!
Strugglingmum
19-08-20, 10:34 AM
Wow, thank you Flo. Yes I need to remember this..... I may frame it!! Thank you wise person.
You're welcome! It did me good to write what I did because I need to remind myself too at times that I have a choice. When I face a new day I can choose whether I make the day miserable or happy. It's hard at times though isn't it? I must practice what I preach. So Just for today I shall be as optimistic and happy as I can. My chooks are soaked to the skin taking shelter and eating porridge instead of grain haha! They're looking a bit pathetic! I think the weather is supposed to get a bit better later. Can't complain though, it'll save me having to water the garden later. Have a good one SM. Thanks for helping me too!
Flo, that brought tears to my eyes! You really are wise :)
Don't know about wise Paula, but the person that pointed it all out to me was right..so I'm happy to pass it on. People like us don't give ourselves enough credit at times do we?
Strugglingmum
20-08-20, 05:26 PM
Covid restrictions in NI are being tightened again. As usual I have no idea what it really means. My anxieties just dont seem to cope with the changes and what that means for daily life
Stella180
20-08-20, 06:16 PM
I did see NI we’re heading back towards lockdown. It’s all very confusing.
Strugglingmum
22-08-20, 09:34 AM
This morning I asked the dog if she wanted coffee. Could be a long day if my head remains in such a mush!:(
More to the point, what did she say? ;)
OldMike
22-08-20, 10:46 AM
No worries SMum I talk to my kettle if it boils quicker than expected I say "Hang on darling I'll be with you in a second" yep I really do say that, must be living alone which imbues inanimate objects with personalities or am I just crazy (giggle)
Erm, most mechanical objects in my home have names... George Foreman Grill - George, Kenwood mixer - Ken etc we also once had a computer called Shirley....
magie06
22-08-20, 01:25 PM
My car is called Betsie. These things live with us, so of course they must have names.
This morning I asked the dog if she wanted coffee. Could be a long day if my head remains in such a mush!:(
You're on Tramadol too are you??(rofl)(rofl) What would you have done if she'd replied? Yes all this lockdown stuff is very confusing. Stay put in the house for a bit and pretend everything is normal...No?...oh alright then!(nod)
Strugglingmum
22-08-20, 01:57 PM
(giggle)
I dont think I've ever done normal, Flo
Stella180
22-08-20, 04:49 PM
Normal is sooooooo over rated
You don’t get to be on the team if you’re ‘normal’ - we all prefer ‘interesting’ (giggle)
(giggle)
I dont think I've ever done normal, Flo
Me neither! being different is good!! x
Definitely no normal in the mod and admin team definitely! :)
Strugglingmum
23-08-20, 04:00 PM
Been a busy day. Been cleaning and cooking dinner for everyone plus partners. It was lovely to be together as tomorrow our restrictions tighten again. Will only be able to have 1 partner over at a time. I am tired but dinner was lovely and everyone helped clean. Hope you all are having a lovely Sunday. X
Glad everyone's helped out - makes it so much easier doesn't it?
Hope you're pacing for the rest of today?
I noticed on another thread that you weren't sleeping well last night... Are you OK?
Strugglingmum
25-08-20, 09:57 AM
Awake till 4:30.
It's only 1 night but I'll keep an eye on it. I'm not long up so I got 5hrs, just not a good routine but I'll keep busy today and try and do some yoga later. Heading out food shopping now. X
Stella180
25-08-20, 11:01 AM
I must have dropped off about the same time as you. Unfortunately I was up at 8 :( Got a bit of a headache coming on now
There must be something in the air!!! I had a weird night too.
Strugglingmum
25-08-20, 01:14 PM
Hope we all do better tonight
Strugglingmum
26-08-20, 10:25 AM
You know when you sleep better but nearly feel worse for it??!!
Urggh. Feel knackered. 2 cups of coffee down and it ain't doing much. Laundry is calling. Glad I've got a swim booked for later.
Strugglingmum
26-08-20, 05:06 PM
Swim definitely improved the mood today.
Nipped into Tesco to get some dog food on the way home and Christmas sweet tubs are £4. Bought what I needed for my nieces and nephews. I'm determined to be sorted early in case A gets made redundant.
I have crocheted gifts for my sister and best friend. I'm finishing the mil a shawl. I have done cowls for A's aunties.
I have got gin making kits for my brothers and their wives. By December I would like to only have our own kids to get.
I adore Christmas but since I took ill I find it very stressful, never knowing what to buy people and the crowds etc.
2 years ago I decided to do all mine online. Best thing I did - no stress, no crowds, just lists, emails, folders and organisation *happysigh*
I’m glad the swim helped, lovely
I get stressed over Christmas too, so like Paula I do my shopping online!....BTW..are you saying that Tesco are already flogging christmas stuff??!! No wonder people freak out. With me it's money sent to the grandkids and my kids and a few simple prezzies that travel well just to open for fun..haha! Glad you had a good swim love.
Strugglingmum
26-08-20, 05:50 PM
I only saw the sweet tubs to be fair.... after all we have Halloween first.... maybe the tubs are for Halloween but the dates are good so Christmas it is.
I normally give my nephews money but i like to have sweets to wrap up for them too for under the tree.
Yip they are 19, 21 and 23.... I need to wise up.
Likewise my nieces are/will be married so its sweets and a voucher for a meal out somewhere.
Jaquaia
26-08-20, 08:36 PM
I have a box full under the bed for the kids already! I'm excited to be able to buy for them as if they're my own but J is utterly bemused as he normally leaves it til the last minute!
Jaq that's awesome!
SM you're so organised!
Stella180
26-08-20, 11:10 PM
I’ve normally started by now cos I like to spread the cost to make it easier but this year I haven’t got a clue where to start.
I actually have a policy not to do any present buying till after Si’s birthday (7 November)
Jaquaia
27-08-20, 01:24 PM
Present buying is fine, but refuse to contemplate putting decorations up until after my birthday (21st Nov)
Strugglingmum
27-08-20, 02:25 PM
I actually have a policy not to do any present buying till after Si’s birthday (7 November)
I'm normally later starting but A might not have a job by then and I'm feeling stressed enough about that never mind then having to try afford Christmas
Is there any news on his job?
I only saw the sweet tubs to be fair.... after all we have Halloween first.... maybe the tubs are for Halloween but the dates are good so Christmas it is.
I normally give my nephews money but i like to have sweets to wrap up for them too for under the tree.
Yip they are 19, 21 and 23.... I need to wise up.
Likewise my nieces are/will be married so its sweets and a voucher for a meal out somewhere.You're SO organised!
I have a box full under the bed for the kids already! I'm excited to be able to buy for them as if they're my own but J is utterly bemused as he normally leaves it til the last minute!Will the kids be with you on C day? And what is it with some men to leave present buying an hour before closing on Christmas Eve? Ian does it!
I’ve normally started by now cos I like to spread the cost to make it easier but this year I haven’t got a clue where to start.Me neither Stella...TBH everyone seems to have everything! Maybe M&S tokens and Next tokens...I know that's a cop out but it's safe!
I actually have a policy not to do any present buying till after Si’s birthday (7 November) Same birthday as my Zoe!
Present buying is fine, but refuse to contemplate putting decorations up until after my birthday (21st Nov) I always wait until I see a few in the village.....
Strugglingmum
28-08-20, 10:59 AM
Is there any news on his job?
He survived the first round of redundancies but the company has very few orders so the plant is at threat of closure. Both my hubby and son work for the same firm so......
(bear) (bear) (bear) You must be so worried. What are you putting in place to take extra time for your own self care right now?
Strugglingmum
28-08-20, 12:28 PM
Plenty of swimming, crochet and deep breathing!!
Strugglingmum
28-08-20, 01:23 PM
Time to go swimming....and I have dinner in the slow cooker so no stress later.
This evening I hope to tidy my bedroom and prepare for work starting in the shower room soon. We'll see how I feel after my swim and dinner.
Hope you enjoyed your swim lovely!
That sounds a lot SM. I am going to take a leaf out of your book and get started on Christmas pressies.
Well I think you're quite amazing! you're so positive and disciplined....and making the effort to go swimming everyday. Hats off to you SM.
Strugglingmum
29-08-20, 11:02 AM
Morning all. Just some cleaning, tidying sorting here today. Feeling a bit meh but once I get started it will be ok.
Strugglingmum
29-08-20, 09:22 PM
Been elbow deep in decluttering, tidying, sorting etc.
We need to redo our ensuite as the shower is broken and the toilet cistern leaks, no matter what we or plumbers do to fix it. We have been living with a bucket under it for 1year. Its awkward to empty because of the small space and if A forgets, it overflows and has caused numerous leaks to the bathroom below.... we now have a small hole in the ceiling of the downstairs bathroom because of it.
So we are starting from scratch but have a tight budget. We have been round a few showrooms and wholesalers and have sourced all we need. Going out on Tuesday to buy it all.
We were out on Thursday and the nice salesman where we were choosing our shower panelling told us to wait till Tuesday as they would all be 50% off.
Anyway, that means my bedroom needed sorted with stuff packed away as there is already a layer of dust from ripping off the tiles. I needed somewhere to put the stuff.... so that meant the cupboards needed sorting etc etc.... it snowballed and yes I have regretted starting many times today but I'm starting to see daylight. I've sat down now to crochet as I got a couple of orders in today so wanted to get a start on them.
Moods still a bit meh but at least I've achieved something
Jaquaia
29-08-20, 09:30 PM
Sounds like you achieved a lot!
That salesman was a hero! Are you going to take some time for you tomorrow - have a swim maybe?
Strugglingmum
29-08-20, 10:31 PM
I could do with a swim. I'm not sure if the centre is open on a Sunday... I must check cause I know they are closed BH Monday so I wont get to swim then.
Thanks for the prompt.
Sounds like you've done huge amounts yesterday. Did you find out if the pool was open today? If you can't get a swim, maybe a walk or something?
Strugglingmum
30-08-20, 12:38 PM
Swim booked(nod)
Heading up after lunch. X
Well done lovely, hope you enjoyed it!
Strugglingmum
30-08-20, 08:36 PM
Really enjoyed my swim but pulled a muscle in my shoulder. I cut my swim a bit short. Its eased now.
I've been doing more gutting out and tidying. I helped me sort out bags for charity shop etc. She has gone out now so I'm relaxing with my my hook.
Sounds like another busy day! Are yo resting/pacing a bit tomorrow?
Strugglingmum
31-08-20, 08:36 PM
How are you doing love?
I'm ok thanks Flo. Keeping busy around the house. I'm a bit hard to settle to something and start but once I manage that I'm normally ok.
Currently perched on my bed with a hair mask and a facemask on. Even the dog took one look at me and went back downstairs!!
How’s your shoulder?
Its easier today thanks Paula. I'll not be swimming until Wednesday so plenty of time to rest it.
Glad it's easier.. You got anything planned for this week?
Strugglingmum
31-08-20, 10:06 PM
Just some stuff around the house hopefully swim a couple of times. Probably some crochet. Not really sure. We'll see how the week goes .
That's great...what on earth is a hair mask?(giggle)
Morning love, meant to say yesterday about well done for the self care - but I have to agree with Flo - what's a hair mask?
Strugglingmum
01-09-20, 09:47 AM
Because I swim alot my hair gets really dry (also because it was bleached last time I got my hair done). A hair mask is a deep intensive moisturising treatment that i leave in for about 15-20 mins to try and treat the dryness. I do it once a week or fortnight usually.
Strugglingmum
02-09-20, 10:43 AM
Absolutely bucketing down here..... I may not need to travel to the pool for my swim.... I could just float up the road!!
I hope you are able to swim today SM x
Hope the rain doesn't do any damage! Did you get to swim?
Absolutely bucketing down here..... I may not need to travel to the pool for my swim.... I could just float up the road!!(rofl)(rofl)
Strugglingmum
02-09-20, 05:23 PM
Lovely energetic swim (in the pool!)
Had to wait for C to finish work so crocheted the baby booties from one of my orders while waiting....multitasking!!
You know when you look at something on a menu and you really like the sound of it and you think to yourself I'm going to treat myself to that someday?
Well today was that day and I'm sorry to say I was underwhelmed!!
I've been eyeing up the Millionaire doughnut on McDs drivethrough menu every time I go thru for a tea or a coffee and have always thought....some day, as a treat.
I came out from my swim today, knew I had a wait and would be going for a cuppa so thought.... today I'm going to do it! Doughnut here I come. It was ok but not as great as I'd built it up in my head.
Lesson learnt..... just eat the doughnut the first time(rofl)(rofl)
Stella180
02-09-20, 07:30 PM
I hate that. Strangely I decided today to try out a McD’s double quarterpounder with cheese. It sounded like my kinda heaven but it just didn’t work. The extra patty threw the flavour outta balance so I was really disappointed.
(rofl) yep, delayed gratification is overrated !
Morning lovely, how are you today?
OldMike
03-09-20, 10:31 AM
I'm the same look forward to something and find it doesn't live up to the dream.
Strugglingmum
03-09-20, 01:18 PM
Ironing done, laundry done.
Heading up for a swim later. At least its stopped raining...for now.
Stella180
03-09-20, 01:27 PM
You’ve been busy. I got out of bed. Lol
Strugglingmum
03-09-20, 02:03 PM
You’ve been busy. I got out of bed. Lol
Yip but I got my PIP forms too and I'm ignoring them so you're definitely ahead!!
Well done for ironing and laundry. Really proud of you for swimming self care!
I’m now expecting my pip forms in the post .....
Stella180
03-09-20, 06:39 PM
Out of interest, how long were your previous PiP awards given ladies?
Mine? With degenerative conditions - 3 years.........
Strugglingmum
03-09-20, 06:59 PM
I think 3years but not 100% sure
Stella180
03-09-20, 07:24 PM
Mine? With degenerative conditions - 3 years.........
You are kidding me? That’s ridiculous. Are they hoping during the next 3 years you’ll meet Jesus in the street and he’ll cure you? That is a joke.
I had an ongoing DLA award but when I got switched to PIP it's been every 3 years. My blue badge is tied to the end dates too...
It must be 4 years cos I’ve had my second motability car for a year
Strugglingmum
05-09-20, 02:12 PM
Another busy day.
Had to deliver 2 orders this morning plus plumber arrived to take out old bathroom suite. Made a banoffee for later.
Getting my hair done now and friends coming for dinner.
Need to run into Tesco on my way home to grab food and cook.
Feeling a bit stressed but at least A is going to hoover when he gets home from golf.
I know it will all be fine. Just breathe!!
I don't know how you get it all done!
Mmmm banoffee.....
Strugglingmum
05-09-20, 10:43 PM
Swimming SM ?
Not today. Wont swim until Monday.
Had a lovely evening with friends. Good food (I cooked but it was nice), fab company and lots of laughs.
Was totally worth the stress of today.
I bet your cooking is delicious! Well done for having a lovely time even though it's been a stressful day X
You're quite amazing! Hope you had a great time with your friends.
Strugglingmum
06-09-20, 06:28 PM
Today is our Wedding anniversary. We have been legal for 24yrs.
This morning hubby woke me up, told me to get up and get dressed. He cooked me breakfast and sat me in the car and I have been out ever since on his magical mystery tour. We have visited lots of our favourite places, where we had our first date and of course my favourite beach for me to relax and recharge. A meal out in one of our favourite restaurants in the area. We are now parked up in the car at a beautiful viewpoint...watching the Atlantic crash in.
He was so thoughtful today and has given me a fabulous day. I am truly blessed.
Why am I sharing this???
Well definitely not to pretend my life is Insta perfect but
I have had a really tough week with really dark thoughts at times. I have had to fight really hard at times to push those thoughts down, to distract and to just plain survive.
These moments remind me why I need to keep fighting.... because when I'm in the depths I cant remember these good moments, my brain tells me there aren't any.
BUT there are better times out there and it's important we remember that. Nice things do happen and a little thing does make us smile or feel a bit more like ourselves. It's worth staying around for those moments. This week when my head starts to tell me lies I will remember to say.... I smiled on Sunday, I laughed, I enjoyed just being. Sunday I was glad to be alive..... there will be more days like that, just hang on.
Stella180
06-09-20, 07:50 PM
Happy anniversary
That post is epic! He's done a great thing today! How romantic!!
Print that post out love and look at it every single morning. Let it be the reason you smile as you get up...
Well played A, well played!
Jaquaia
06-09-20, 09:25 PM
Happy anniversary!
Belated Happy Anniversary. You are so right in everything you said. Fantastic post.XX
Hey gorgeous, how are you today?
Strugglingmum
07-09-20, 10:57 AM
Hey gorgeous, how are you today?
Rereading yesterday's post!! ..... I need to.
A bit tired, but heading out soon to swim and go to knit and natter group. Bit of laundry done and lists of things swarming round my head but learning to breathe!!
Want to talk about what's going on in your head?
Strugglingmum
07-09-20, 04:51 PM
Want to talk about what's going on in your head?
Thanks it's just much the same as I wrote on my other thread last week.
Anyway, nice though shorter swim today. Order to make for someone and lots to do around the house. At times, for me, it's just better to be busy. X
Sorry that you're feeling under the weather love....I'm sure it will pass soon. You deal with it the same as me, I'm better being busy! I'd love to see some of the things you make for people. Any chance of a few pics? You're a clever girl.xx
I'm glad you're talking about it and acknowledging it... You're amazing.
Strugglingmum
07-09-20, 08:15 PM
We really know how to party in my house!!
After dinner,
my daughter: mum do you fancy a drink tonight?
Me: why not it's been ages, stick the Sprite in the fridge and we'll have a pink gin later.
8pm me: so do you want a drink?
Daughter: yeah, I'm just trying to decide if I want a gin or a cup of tea.
.... we're enjoying a pot of tea(rofl)
(bear) (rofl) (rofl) (bear) That's the same as it is for me.... Been saying all day I wanted to have a gin, but now I'm happy with a lemonade and an apple and elderflower squash to take up to bed with me!
Strugglingmum
07-09-20, 08:21 PM
(rofl) what are we like. Party central
I know! I'm counting down minutes before I can go to bed!
OldMike
08-09-20, 08:37 AM
(giggle) Just tea and hot choc in my house :)
I can't keep up with you lot who live in the fast lane!!!.....I'm going to make myself an espresso!!(yawn)
Strugglingmum
08-09-20, 02:02 PM
Some days you just gotta book a swim.
How are you doing lovely?
Strugglingmum
10-09-20, 10:55 AM
Nausea drove me back to bed this morning for a while. Trying to find the will to get up again. I have a swim booked for later but will see how I'm feeling.
Will get up and see if I can manage some breakfast, it will probably help. Today feels like it could be quite unproductive.
Can I ask, pip review forms.... if there is no change in how you manage can you just write no change or do you have to rewrite all what you wrote on initial assessment form.
You see in my naivety I think that no change should be a good enough answer!!
Stella180
10-09-20, 11:24 AM
No change has been the answer to most of mine. I have added more details due to my new autism enlightenment but it’s all pretty much the same I just have a name for it now.
No change or just write how things really are on a bad day scenario....
Nausea? You OK?
Strugglingmum
10-09-20, 05:55 PM
I've been nauseated all day. It happens sometimes after I take my vortioxetine. The only cure is to lie down for a while till it eases.
I did my zoom class this morning but I didn't swim. I've been taking it easy all day. Watched a movie with my daughter this afternoon. I'm going to try tackle the PIP form this evening...at least some of it.
Stella180
10-09-20, 06:12 PM
I get like that with my meds sometimes. It’s horrible.
Can you eat with it to help?
How are you doing with eating?
Strugglingmum
10-09-20, 10:57 PM
I've been eating bland food all day so I'm ok. Porridge, potatoes yoghurt etc.
You're a poor little sausage! Hope you feel better this morning sweetie. Big hugsXX
How are you feeling today?
Strugglingmum
11-09-20, 10:36 AM
Was a bit ropey earlier after taking my tablet but coming round a bit. Just sat down this morning, didn't lie down. Anyway I've all the ironing done and its bucketing here.
We now have the new shower tray installed and A put the new floor down. The pipework has been done. The spark is here to look at installing the shower and give us a price. A can put the wall panelling up and then plumber can come back and put in the new sanitary ware.
It's starting to come together.
Trying to push myself to book a swim but feeling a bit washed out and cant be bothered.
Not sure if its a 'cant be bothered' I need to push through or a 'I need to listen to my body can't be bothered '
Jaquaia
11-09-20, 12:11 PM
(panda)
Woohoo new bathroom sounds like it's taking shape!
Maybe give yourself this week to see if the nausea is settling - if not maybe see if you can get an antiemetic to take alongside it?
Strugglingmum
11-09-20, 02:34 PM
I actually have some cyclizine here. Might try it in the morning.
Good thinking batman!
Just catching up on this thread. I joined a Facebook group crochet UK. There are some amazing things on there people are making. I starting crochet years ago when I first joined dwd and was inspired to crochet. I've made a few things over the years and I really need to get back into it. I made baby booties once for my nephew. How long have you been doing crochet for. I love it when I can get into it.
Swimming sounds good. Sounds like you definitely earned that doughnut. Yummy
What sort of things do you crochet. I'd love to get back into it
Strugglingmum
11-09-20, 06:49 PM
I mostly crochet baby things for gifts but I also crochet shawls, blankets, clothes, toys....anything that catches my eye.
There are lots of fb groups and youtube ideas out there.
Strugglingmum
12-09-20, 05:57 PM
My gorgeous niece had to postpone her wedding from July to October. Today we had her hen party. Due to restrictions here we had to do a 2 part party. Half of us this afternoon and then a later one for her friends but we had a great time celebrating her today and looking forward to her wedding.we had a socially distanced garden party with silly games and an afternoon tea. The countdown is on now to the wedding.
That sounds like lots of fun! :)
Strugglingmum
14-09-20, 02:51 PM
At the hospital with my daughter for her very long awaited surgical consult. I'm not allowed to go into the hospital with her so she is panicking a bit but I'm sure she will be fine.
Damn Covid..... I've really had enough
Oh hunni (bear)(bear)(bear) You OK?
Strugglingmum
14-09-20, 03:35 PM
Oh hunni (bear)(bear)(bear) You OK?
Yea I'm ok. I just want to b with my baby. Ok she is 18, technically an adult. She wants me with her but Covid restrictions say no. Just one of those days
Might be 18, but still your baby and you still want to be there with her.... I wish I could be sitting with you right now...
Strugglingmum
14-09-20, 05:11 PM
She survived! She says the surgeon was lovely. She will need surgery but only as a day procedure and no idea when.... due to Covid none being done at present but if things flare again before then to present to A&E.
Hoorah! (Not that I know what's wrong) Glad the surgeon was lovely!
It doesn't matter how old they are SM they're still our babies....shame you couldn't go in with her..it's all getting a bit much isn't it?
Strugglingmum
15-09-20, 01:05 PM
Have been out with a friend this morning. Treated ourselves to brunch. Had a long chat and was glad to be there for her. She lost her mum at the start of Covid and has a lot going on.
I'm booked in for a swim in an hour or so so just chilling in the car for a while. I haven't swam in a week so looking forward to it.
Stella180
15-09-20, 03:52 PM
Swimming is an activity I’ve never really got into. I can swim but not well cos I didn’t really enjoy it.
Strugglingmum
15-09-20, 04:17 PM
I never really liked swimming in the past but over the past year it has become my favourite form of exercise to burn off the crazy and drown out (literally) the constant monologue in my head.
I started off doing a few lengths a couple of times a week and built it up over time to swimming a mile 4 times a week. I cant do the same distance each visit now because you only get a short time in the pool but I still like to go 3-4 times a week. If I get 50 lengths done I'm happy.
I’ve always loved swimming - a water baby ;)
Strugglingmum
15-09-20, 05:53 PM
Just walking to the postbox to post my PIP review forms.
Now the anxiety hits overload until I hear back.
Aww hunni its not easy waiting on this I know xx
It’s done, hunni, nothing you can do about it now. I know it’s hard but please try to put it to the back of your mind.....
Sweetheart, there's nothing you can do about it now. I know that really doesn't help though...
Stella180
15-09-20, 11:59 PM
Just walking to the postbox to post my PIP review forms.
Now the anxiety hits overload until I hear back.
I’m still waiting on my med records to come through. Once I can confirm accurate details I can send them off.
Morning lovely, how are you today?
Strugglingmum
16-09-20, 12:00 PM
Been up early and things done. Going for a swim as I have to go to the town to take my son up.
Well done for the swim!
How are you doing with eating and stuff love?
Strugglingmum
16-09-20, 03:04 PM
Just home. Was starving. Grabbed an apple and a yoghurt, struggled to finish them. I've dropped a wee bit of weight but not too bad.
I is cooking tea today and is currently baking to encourage me to eat something fattening(rofl)
Erm, you do need to eat more than an apple and a yoghurt love.
I like I's style!
Blimey, I’m trying to lose weight and I have to eat more than that, hunni.....
Strugglingmum
16-09-20, 06:04 PM
Urghhh ended up having a nap and woke up feeling worse.
I'm hoping once they put the food in front of me I'll actually feel hungry cause I feel a bit nauseated.
Can I ask a blunt question?
Are you actually eating enough during the day? Could that be what's causing the nausea? Have you thought about calorie/food diary keeping for a couple of weeks to see?
Strugglingmum
16-09-20, 08:39 PM
I'm ok. I ate a big bowl of pasta bolognese. Io made the bolognese and A cooked the pasta. I think I was a bit dehydrated when I woke up. I'm feeling better now. But so so tired this weather.
What've you got? We've got heat. We've had 2 days of heat and sun and today it's been heat and overcast.... I do not like heat... :(
Strugglingmum
25-09-20, 09:59 AM
Needing to breathe. Heading away for the day with my daughter to my favourite beach. Yes I will drive for 2.5 hrs just to be able to walk there. We have a picnic and ready to chill out for the day.
That sounds so much fun!Have a great time lovelies!
Strugglingmum
25-09-20, 09:39 PM
Just back home. Had a much needed girlie day with my daughter. Catch up with you all tomorrow. Xx
So glad you had a lovely day!
Strugglingmum
27-09-20, 05:19 PM
Just having a tough time. Been trying to keep my chin up for weeks and focus on everyone else but today I just cant.
Been for a swim and worked some of it out. Looking for a hole to curl up in. Anyone reccomend a feel good movie on Prime or Netflix?
I haven’t watched it yet but Si recommended Enola Holmes on Netflix
Jaquaia
27-09-20, 06:40 PM
Early Man! It had us in stitches! ;)
We're loving Ghosts on Iplayer atm! We all loved series 1 and series 2 is so funny!
Jaquaia
27-09-20, 08:05 PM
We're watching it again with the kids, they love it too!
Just discovered Ghosts - and binge watched both series in 2 days!
Jaquaia
27-09-20, 08:53 PM
The Detectorists is gentle viewing too
Strugglingmum
27-09-20, 10:05 PM
Thanks all. Didn't end up feeling like watching anything but will keep them all in mind for another day.
Hey, how are you love? Honestly...
Strugglingmum
28-09-20, 10:09 AM
It's just a bit of a tough time emotionally and I'm struggling to cope with it. My flashbacks have been frequent and horrendous now for weeks.
I've had no psychology since start of August as she has been and is off sick and my CPN wants me to manage on my own to be ready for discharge from her so I feel I can't use her. I'm waiting for my psychiatrist to phone this morning for my review and that puts me on edge as I get anxious waiting.
Just a bit of a time of it.
Stella180
28-09-20, 10:21 AM
If you need the support then use your CPN. That’s what she is there for. She hasn’t discharged you yet and you still need her.
If you need the support then use your CPN. That’s what she is there for. She hasn’t discharged you yet and you still need her.
Completely agree. Else how does she truly know you’re ready to be discharged?
Call your CPN love.... Please? You need them, use them.
Strugglingmum
28-09-20, 03:02 PM
Flipping well broke down this morning (car). I'm lucky enough to have someone who came and rescued me.
Got home, wrapped myself in a blanket and slept for almost 2 hours. I really dont cope well when things go wrong, it just exhausted me.
Ah no! What a b****r!! Hope it's nothing too serious love. For what it's worth, I don't cope well either especially when it comes to breakdowns. I become panic stricken and plain useless! Had a problem and eventual death with my 'fob'...it's the type that the whole fob goes into a hole then you press start. Well it became useless, as did the spare. I couldn't rely on it one day it would start and the next nothing. I used to literally say a prayer that it would work. In the end I had to pay £262 for a replacement!! Bloody cars. Fingers crossed yours isn't too ill.(bear)
Strugglingmum
28-09-20, 04:14 PM
Review with psychiatrist went ok.
Increasing my risperidone to try and help with things.
Car is sorted by hubby. Needed a new battery.
She is incredibly ancient but normally very reliable. She is my little bit of independence and I love her greatly for what she represents. When she dies I wont be able to afford to replace her so its great he got her living again.
Stella180
28-09-20, 04:27 PM
What do you drive?
YAY for your car being resurrected! How do you feel about the change in meds? Were you totally honest with them about how you are feeling?
Strugglingmum
28-09-20, 07:50 PM
Such a relief about the car.
Yes I was honest about everything. That's why he is increasing my meds to see if it will help with the flashbacks etc.
Went for a walk with Io this evening. It helped to get out and walk our local beach with the dog. X
I'm really, really proud of you for telling them everything. Call your CPN and tell them too love... If you need the support take it. If they don't know what's going on then they won't know you need them....
You’re phenomenal! Today could have been very different but you did everything you needed to do. I’m so proud of you :)
Strugglingmum
30-09-20, 10:46 AM
Today is a really tough day. I feel really sad. I've been awake for ages and I'm trying to count the positives and keep busy. Double swim session booked for later to try work off the low.
Sweet, going by your FB status you're allowed to be sad atm love... Keep talking hunni x
I agree with Suzi, it’s ok to feel crap today (panda)
Strugglingmum
30-09-20, 04:06 PM
80 lengths today but had a wee weep on the way home from the pool.
Jaquaia
30-09-20, 04:06 PM
Crying can be cathartic
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.4 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.