Losing my mind *SU TRIGGERS*

[DT1977]

I've never posted on a forum before but I feel like I've no-one to talk to. I've had depression on and off since having my daughter (24) but this go round is doing me in. I've taken overdoses before but I'm not at that point. I got drunk on Saturday and really naffed things up with my brother and his partner. I haven't eaten since, I've only got out of bed to go to the loo. My other half is trying but if I've said a dozen words to him I'd be surprised. I'm on antidepressants but I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere with them. Can someone just talk me off the ledge?

[Paula]

Hi hunni, and welcome. I’ve added a trigger warning to your thread, it’s nothing to worry about, it just ensures other members are aware of what you’re discussing so they can avoid any triggers.

I’m so sorry you’re so poorly right now. Can I ask a few questions first? You say you’re on ADs...when was the last time you had a review with your doctor, and have the meds been adjusted recently? Do you receive any other support - a psychiatrist, psychologist, CPN? What about support from friends and family? Do you know what, if anything, triggered this crisis?

Lovely, you know you’ll get through this crisis because you’ve had the strength to do it before. Keep talking to us, it really does help (panda)

[DT1977]

I get re-evaluated every year, last time they doubled my dosage. My family is ok but we're not a talk it out, kind of family and I don't have any friends (sad, I know). My dog died and then everything just kept getting worse. I have a lot of health problems that just seem to be getting more and worse. I've tried talking to a psychiatrist before but I really couldn't get comfortable with it. They wanted me to go to group therapy (big, no). I'm petrified that my partner is just going to have enough of me one day and leave. He says not but things happen.

[Paula]

I get that - my husband has had to put up with so much over the years that I’m constantly surprised he’s still here. But he says he loves me and looking after me is all that matters to him. And I get how much it hurts to lose a dog - my old boy passed at the beginning of lockdown. That pain is definitively hard to deal with.

When did they double the dose? Only, if it’s still not helping you need to go back - you shouldn’t be waiting for your yearly evaluation. Has the doctor talked about changing ADs or maybe adding an additional AD in?

[DT1977]

They doubled it last year but with lockdown, I've not been evaluated this year. I'm definitely going to have to book myself in. My partner says his job is to look after me. He needs a medal the size of a dustbin lid!

[Flo]

They doubled it last year but with lockdown, I've not been evaluated this year. I'm definitely going to have to book myself in. My partner says his job is to look after me. He needs a medal the size of a dustbin lid! I'm putting my husband forward for a Sainthood! He's so placid and patient and I can be so difficult to live with when I have a dose of the downers. You've had a lot on your plate so definitely see if you can get help with your meds.

[Suzi]

I'm on the other side of this, as in it's my husband who has had more than one breakdown and still battles with his mental health. We've been together for almost 22 years and married 13 next weekend.... Although today is a crap day for him as it's his birthday tomorrow and that's a major trigger for him each year...

I can totally relate to your husband. Trust me, it's easier when you know what's going on and knowing what's in your loved one's head.

I'm concerned that you only see your Dr once a year for a meds review. That doesn't sound great to me. Things change. What anti d are you on? How long have you been on it for?

Welcome to DWD, I'm glad you've found your way here and have started to talk. I promise it does help...

[DT1977]

I'm on 40mg Fluoxetine. I've never had it effect me this long before or this strong.

[Suzi]

How long have you been on it?

Sweetheart I really think you should be getting an appointment with your GP and you need to tell them what you are telling us...

[DT1977]

I've been on them 3 years this time. I'll definitely be making an appointment to see the doc

[Suzi]

That's a great step to help! Will you let us know how you get on?