View Full Version : Building a new life
Stella180
29-06-20, 10:06 PM
Or you could build a bonfire and burn it all ;)
Or we could call it educational and dress as witches and recite "bubble bubble, boil and trouble" and set fire to it!
Stella180
29-06-20, 10:50 PM
Oh I am absolutely well up for this. We have to set a date lol
Jaq - have you talked to him about how much it's upsetting you?
Jaquaia
01-07-20, 10:12 AM
Mum has formed a social bubble with sister so she can see the grandchildren. Sister is going down tomorrow to do housework. I need to go do meds so checked with sister when she was going down so we weren't there at the same time. Sister said if I was going in the house she'd have to stop taking the girls as she's not risking it, even though I'd already pointed out that I don't count as a social bubble due to being essential care so have lied and said I sit in the garden to do them as I'm not getting the blame for my parents not being able to see the girls.
Can honestly say that she is one person I have not missed seeing!
Stella180
01-07-20, 10:25 AM
Grrrr, she’s such a nightmare
Could she not do your Mum's meds?
Jaquaia
01-07-20, 11:50 AM
She's never offered. She does enough to make her look like a nice person
Maybe you could suggest it - at least then you couldn't possibly contaminate things for her girls.......
Hey gorgeous, you're quiet... All OK with you?
Jaquaia
10-07-20, 04:31 PM
I'm ok, just tired.
Have the injections not kicked in yet?
Jaquaia
10-07-20, 07:07 PM
I'm not as stiff
You sound really low - how's your mood doing love? How's J? The kids?
Jaquaia
10-07-20, 07:35 PM
I'm a bit flat but it will pass. The children are with Cruella, A asked if she could stay with us instead. J is on nights so he's exhausted, especially as I had to wake him up as his parents arranged for the cleaner to come this afternoon.
Why are his parents organising a cleaner? Surely they don't know his day to day commitments, or yours?!
Jaquaia
10-07-20, 10:03 PM
They pay for her. They started when Cruella moved out as the house was a mess. They have a copy of his roster and checked with me first. They said 1pm when they were here at the weekend and I said no, 2pm at the earliest. His dad then rang to ask for 1pm and got told no again. I'm not sure what's hard to understand about J working nights and rarely being awake by then. As it was I had to wake him up. The idea was to keep her on to make things easier for me but she's done the windows today and I'll be doing them again tomorrow as they're awful. They're so streaky and they're annoying me. I don't think his parents like it that we won't have her in when the children are here.
Can you not tell them you don't need her anymore because you're better and more amazing?
Jaquaia
10-07-20, 10:41 PM
Tried but his parents started talking about how she'd lost clients and needed the money. She'll clean the bathroom, hoover right through and change beds if asked. I hate cleaning the bathroom and sometimes struggle with the other 2 so she can stick to that
Fair enough... (panda) They sound quite controlling?
Jaquaia
10-07-20, 11:32 PM
They're generally really good and supportive but his dad gets quite offended if you don't agree with him at times. He offered to pay for a new kitchen when Cruella moved out as they knew it needed doing and J couldn't afford it but didn't tell him that didn't include tiling or flooring until the new units were fitted plus the order it was done in wasn't that logical. So we're left with a half finished kitchen while we find the money to finish it, not helped by having to replace the washer. And then they booked in to have the decking replaced, that's booked in for 2 weeks on Monday, and only told us they wanted us to pay a significant amount a few days ago. Contributing isn't an issue, I fully appreciate how lucky J is to have parents who are in a position to, and willing to, do that. It's how late his dad tells us so we're left having to find a large amount of money with very little notice. We would have saved and done these things when we could afford it but his parents wanted everything done so he could have a fresh start ASAP.
So, classic case of pure motives, poor execution .....
Jaquaia
11-07-20, 09:55 AM
Exactly
Oh, trying hard to do the right thing, but making it all harder in the process....
How are you feeling today love?
Jaquaia
11-07-20, 12:19 PM
Tired. I've redone the living room windows but don't have the energy to even contemplate doing any of the others.
Driving lessons restart on the 26th but I can't stay in Hull as my mum is still shielding, and I think even beyond the 1st of August, my sister would make it difficult if I stayed there before everything is back to normal. So it's looking like me needing to get into Hull.
Stella180
11-07-20, 01:07 PM
Why should yet give a toss what your sister has to say? Ask your mum first and if she’s ok with it that’s all that matters.
I have to agree with Sarah...
Jaquaia
11-07-20, 04:24 PM
Because I'm not being the reason she uses to stop my parents seeing the children.
Ahhh, makes sense. So what are you going to do? You can't stop driving now, and I'm sure you don't want to change instructor again. How far is it to get to your parents? Can you do it by public transport?
Jaquaia
11-07-20, 07:57 PM
I'm thinking of changing to the afternoon. With how J's shifts work I would only need help getting to and from Hull 2 days a month. Otherwise it's a bus or taxi into Beverley, a train or bus into Hull, and then a bus to my parents.
That sounds like a long and complicated journey!
Jaquaia
11-07-20, 09:45 PM
Yep! Whereas in car it's a 20 minute drive, if that
What does J think about it?
Jaquaia
12-07-20, 03:30 PM
I'm going to ask his parents to help. And ask my parents to run me back once a month and they can stay for tea.
That sounds lovely, they'll get to see you happy in your home together with J too. Brilliant plan.
Stella180
12-07-20, 04:06 PM
That’ll be nice for everyone.
Strugglingmum
12-07-20, 09:34 PM
Sounds like a plan(bear)
Morning gorgeous, what's on your agenda for today?
Jaquaia
13-07-20, 10:40 AM
Reading and more getting my uni folders in order.
Jaquaia
13-07-20, 01:23 PM
Both. Reading Ruin and Rising by Leigh Bardugo but also getting my folders up to date to consolidate my learning ready for my final year. Currently writing notes on antidepressants.
Are you enjoying it though?
Jaquaia
13-07-20, 02:44 PM
Uni or reading? The uni stuff I'm working on at the moment is fascinating. And probably safer considering I managed to cut myself with a pair of secateurs when attempting to tidy up a bush in the back garden. Leigh Bardugo is a wonderful author, love her work.
Not read any of hers....
I'm so glad you're loving your uni work.
Oh no! Hope that your injury isn't bad!
Jaquaia
13-07-20, 06:14 PM
It's just a small cut but it hurts when you use hand sanitiser! My current work is based on treatment for anxiety and depression. There's an explanation about why antidepressants take so long to kick in too so it's helping me to understand myself too
That does sound interesting!
Hand sanitiser is a bugger in cuts!
Jaquaia
13-07-20, 10:13 PM
Antidepressants raise the neurotransmitter levels very quickly (serotonin/noradrenalin) but therapeutic effect is seen a lot later than the pharmacological effect. The theory is that stress damages the neurons in the brain. The body reacts to a perceived threat and increases levels of stress hormones, if these levels return to baseline levels quickly there isn't an issue but if they stay high for long periods then it starts damaging neurons, and even causing them to die off, which would also explain why the hippocampus of patients of depression is often seem to be smaller than those without. So depression and anxiety causes the body to react as if it's under stress. Now there is another chemical acting in the brain and this chemical stimulates the neurons and can promote neuron growth. Levels of this chemical are low in patients with major depression. In studies on rats, scientists have found that serotonin increases the production of this chemical and this gradually stimulates the renewal of neurons and neuron pathways.
That's really interesting!
Jaquaia
14-07-20, 02:45 PM
Heading home from Danes Dyke. A and T both managed to fall over in the sea, T has a wet bottom and didn't think of bringing a change of clothes so is still sat in soggy shorts and boxers. A was drenched from the head down and has a complete change of clothes! They enjoyed it though, we all did.
Jaquaia
14-07-20, 03:05 PM
It was! Exhausted now though, there's a steep hill down to the beach and we had to climb a lot pf stairs on the nature trail but I love it there. My school took us in year 6 and it's always stayed with me.
magie06
14-07-20, 03:08 PM
It sounds so lovely. When Ais was younger we had a lot of wet bums coming home from the seaside. It brings back lots of memories.
Sounds perfectly wonderful! Wet bums on the way home is perfect!
I once took my kids to go to see my Mum and we took her dogs for a walk in the New Forest with my sister and her children. The kids managed to find a huge puddle and asked if they could paddle - obviously I said yes! It was only when they started to fall over did we realise how deep it was and I didn't have spare clothes for any of them! Luckily my little brother drove up to play with us and he had a boot full of slightly smelly, but dry rugby shirts! So my kids did the 2 1/2 hour journey (and had to stop on the way home for a wee) in smelly far too big for them rugby shirts! It was hilarious! Ben didn't think so and Hazel didn't like the smell, but we convinced her it was high fashion and amazing and Fern was just happy to sleep on the way home! :) Good times!
Strugglingmum
15-07-20, 05:09 PM
I always claim this is why I keep a messy car..... always something to throw on or wrap round damp bodies. My daughter was always falling in the sea, or into rock pools etc etc. Sounds like a fun time. I miss having little ones.
Jaquaia
16-07-20, 01:39 PM
Ok. If I'm honest, I've been struggling since Tuesday with fatigue. I don't want to build in rest days after a pleasant day out! I don't like that I'm not capable of very much for a day or 2 afterwards. All I've managed today is 2 loads of washing and putting the pots away and I'm back on the sofa feeling exhausted. I hate it.
I have every sympathy. It truly, royally sucks. I'm sorry love. But I'm really glad you're resting... Can you ask for help with doing the household chores? It shouldn't all fall just to you....
Jaquaia
16-07-20, 03:07 PM
J is at work and the children are with their mum. I'm trying to pace and J has told me to sit and rest. He insisted on buying me a new book yesterday so I'm working my way through that. But I see bits that need doing and feel lazy not doing them.
You aren't lazy! You have chronic illness!
Jaquaia
16-07-20, 04:18 PM
I guess a big part of feeling like that is I haven't quite accepted that fatigue is a big part of it for me. I think pain and stiffness would be easier to handle.
It is easier, but the fatigue is just as real and just as disabling if not more so than the physical pain...
You know you’d be saying the same thing to any one of us ....
Jaquaia
16-07-20, 06:53 PM
I would be but not quite accepted that I'm important too yet.
Stella180
16-07-20, 06:59 PM
You’re important to me.
Jaquaia
16-07-20, 08:16 PM
I don't understand why. I'm nothing special
Stella180
16-07-20, 09:34 PM
Oh Jaq, who are you trying to kid? You’re ALL kinds of special mate lol.
Seriously though, you’re important to me because you are my friend, you are there for me when I need, you have faith in me when I have none, and I have a beautiful crazy pup to cuddle thanks to you. I think the world of you and the ‘rents.
OldMike
17-07-20, 09:22 AM
Oh but you are special Jaq (panda)
How are you today love? Are you pacing?
You are important and special to all of us here, to J, to the kids. Do not underestimate what you do for the people in your life
Jaquaia
17-07-20, 07:36 PM
How are you today love? Are you pacing?
I'm ok. I have paced as much as possible. Had to wash A's sheet as we're having an issue with her not wiping properly after going to the toilet, so remade her bed once the sheet was dry. Washed the towels and face masks, hoovered upstairs too, done some uni work and finished my book.
Sounds like you're still doing lots.... The hoovering could have waited maybe?
Have you got toilet wipes? Sometimes that’s easier for little ones to use than paper.
Jaquaia
17-07-20, 09:38 PM
I've just suggested that to J. I may have a wander across to the shop tomorrow and see if they have any.
Sounds like you're still doing lots.... The hoovering could have waited maybe?
There isn't much that needs doing tomorrow so I can rest more.
So what's the plans this weekend?
Jaquaia
18-07-20, 11:11 AM
No idea yet. I'm studying all day as J is at work and he'll pick the children up on his way home but we've not decided what we're doing with them Sunday yet. Monday will probably be the scarecrow trail around the village.
Jaquaia
18-07-20, 05:28 PM
He's off tomorrow then starts nights on Monday.
How long have you got the children for?
Jaquaia
18-07-20, 06:08 PM
Until Monday teatime.
You always do such lovely things with them! I bet they love coming to you! :)
Jaquaia
18-07-20, 06:52 PM
We try. Though T has messaged J saying that A has asked to stay there as they have Cruella's boyfriends daughter there and it's made him feel like (swear)(swear)(swear)(swear) and sent his anxiety sky high. Last time A said she'd like to stay and J said no Cruella had a massive go at him so he's expecting that. Yet if we kept A every time she asked to stay here she'd never be at her mothers...
That's a difficult one to sort... A case of not being able to please everyone....
Jaquaia
18-07-20, 07:22 PM
T wants to live here and A has said she does too. I don't think they realise that if they did they would barely see his daughter.
How do you feel about that prospect of them staying with you if custody was awarded? How's things going with his divorce?
Jaquaia
18-07-20, 09:39 PM
I worry that I'm not up to the job. He can file for divorce at the end of October
Of course you are! Those kids are lucky to have you
Not up to the job??? Bloody hell love, I'd trust you with my children and I don't say that lightly! You are far more than up to the job! You are amazing!
From how I have gotten to know you I am think you would be up for the job and then some. I have seen how you can see things from the perspective of the kids. You see to it that they are taken care of and you validate them. From what I can see its not only that you are leagues above Cruella. She is not even playing the same sport.
Its not an easy situation. Thats for sure. And she is the mother. I can relate to it since I have been I some sort of similar situation. And no matter how difficult the situation might get. Love will see them through. And in your family that you helped create there thats there in abundance.
Jaquaia
20-07-20, 05:26 PM
2 pass 2's and a distinction!!! And the distinction was in my proper sciencey module!
magie06
20-07-20, 07:15 PM
Wow!!! Congrats.
Stella180
20-07-20, 07:17 PM
Whoop whoop! Well done.
YAY! Congrats!! That's amazing!
Jaquaia
20-07-20, 08:44 PM
I'm over the moon, and for once, not thinking I could have done better!
I am SOOOOO proud of you!
Stella180
20-07-20, 09:25 PM
I’m happy for you.
Strugglingmum
20-07-20, 10:04 PM
Congratulations. Well done.
Jaquaia
22-07-20, 06:30 PM
J surprised me with a new book, my parents have given me £25 to treat myself (probably books. I know, you're all surprised by that!) and mentioned to the in-laws that I passed with good grades and they showed up an hour ago with an amazing smelling lavender plant! I just need to re-pot it now but been clearing out under the stairs.
That's lovely! It's lovely that everyone's joining in celebrating your achievement!
Jaquaia
22-07-20, 07:02 PM
It's not something I'm really used to. I did a lot better than I thought too. Actually looking forward to my final year now.
Jaquaia
26-07-20, 12:05 PM
In 5 weeks we're going to Cumbria for a few days. It will be my first ever family holiday so I'm excited and nervous at the same time.
That’s a beautiful part of the world!
Stella180
26-07-20, 03:33 PM
My experiences of Cumbria involve excessive amounts of alcohol and playing darts lol
Sounds fab! Are you renting a cottage or staying on a holiday camp type thing? Why are you nervous?
scilover
26-07-20, 05:12 PM
your thought are so meaningful. You think about what both should contribute to a relationship. Congrats
Strugglingmum
26-07-20, 06:08 PM
Sounds fabulous and something to look forward to. X
Jaquaia
26-07-20, 07:30 PM
Sounds fab! Are you renting a cottage or staying on a holiday camp type thing? Why are you nervous?
Holiday cottage. They've stayed there before and the children are excited about taking me this year. A has already told me that I have to watch her on a zipline at the zoo playground.
That sounds fun, I'm surprised you're going somewhere they've been before and you aren't all going somewhere new to explore together?
Jaquaia
26-07-20, 09:33 PM
They first went just before Cruella left. She had a burlesque instructors weekend so J took the kids away on his own. The 3 of them love it there and it's very much their place so I like that they very much want me to go. In fact, the kids got really annoyed when I jokingly told them I was staying at home for the peace and quiet!
Ahh, that makes more sense! That sounds lovely that they want you to share their special place.
Jaquaia
27-07-20, 08:56 AM
Been awake since half 5, didn't get back to sleep once J left for work. My hands and wrists are stiff and achey today so going to take it steady.
Supposed to have the decking started today but the guy called round last night to cancel because of the weather forecast and I think he got it right as it's chucking it down!
OldMike
27-07-20, 10:09 AM
Weather pretty much the same here Jaq just about holding off rain here at the moment but so dark it could throw it down any time soon.
Holiday cottage in Cumbria sounds ideal :)
Jaquaia
27-07-20, 10:12 AM
Glad I got another coat of paint on the playhouse yesterday Mike as it's chucking it down here again. I timed it right for going to the village shop! It looks so much better now the white paint that bled under the masking tape has gone.
Today I will be painting watering cans! (giggle) A has several toy watering cans that are now leaking so I'm painting them various shaded of purple and we're going to plant them up!
You really are so lovely! You sound like you're enjoying doing things like this with A and T. They're lucky to have you!
Jaquaia
27-07-20, 02:14 PM
https://www.dropbox.com/s/n3q9j9ikwri75qx/02430eea-c19e-4665-95d6-3d5e3eaf6851.jpg?raw=1
The one with the silver handle, that's the colour planned for the summerhouse. It's a bit more "grown up" than the one on the playhouse.
I'm loving putting personal touches to things. I have a paint delivery tomorrow, paint for the garden and the house. The plan is to get the decking painted as soon as it's down. And A is loving growing plants. She has 4 sunflowers on the kitchen windowsill and has grown trailing geraniums too. She's really good about watering them.
Nice colour choices!
I love that you're putting your stamp on things and making them all about your family. You're fabulous!
Jaquaia
27-07-20, 07:02 PM
It's our home so it should be about us all. I have it all planned out in my head. The downstairs toilet is going to he a lovely pale jade green, we just need to get to B&Q for the wallpaper. I have a large tin of satinwood paint coming tomorrow and we have two big tubs of white emulsion so woodwork and ceilings are sorted and ordered a grouting pen for the tiles. It would take me a few days to do. We're going to replace the flooring when we have the kitchen flooring done. We're tiling the kitchen when J is off in a few weeks. Cruella's stuff is going next week (party)(party) so I can start stripping the mouldy paper in the summer house. Then it's a case of a cheap wallpaper, paint and reupholstering the sofa bed that she dumped in T's room that he doesn't like and that can go out to the summerhouse rather than pay hundreds for garden furniture, then I can decorate T's room (white and navy) and tidy up A's room (she wants some walls glittery purple!). Then it's just the hall and finishing touches.
There's a big list on my phone as I've listed everything separately and we're ticking it off as we go. I've probably drove J crazy but it's made me feel like I have more of a say and things are actually organised! I know where I need to start so I won't be overwhelmed.
Yay! For Cruella’s stuff going at last (party)
Stella180
27-07-20, 07:21 PM
*WARNING! STELLA INCOMING*
You seem to have taking control of a lot of stuff regarding the house. I know you don’t feel comfortable there and want to erase all signs of Cruella’s existence and I get that but I’m not sure it’s entirely healthy. J is still married to that creature and going through this divorce is not going to be plain sailing cos she’s a cow and will do all she can to make it difficult. She is still the kids mother (even if that term only applies to her in the biological sense), and she is always going to be involved in your lives because of that. I guess what I’m trying to say is that you need to look at yourself and see what you can do to feel more comfortable in your new life and whitewashing the past is only going to do so much.
Jaquaia
27-07-20, 08:33 PM
Maybe you should ask before you assume. I have NOT taken control of anything regarding the house. We have DISCUSSED everything, like partners should. We both decided on colours, I showed J suggestions which didn't get decided on if he didn't agree, just as when rooms were decorated before I moved in, he would ask for my input. He asked for my input on the sofa and carpet, I asked for his input on the washer dryer. He told me what colour he would like the fence to be and I showed him options and ordered his preferred choice. The children decided themselves on the colour they wanted their rooms. I have a list as it will be me doing the decorating while J is at work as the only time he's off we have the children so there's no time, and the list helps me work out what needs doing first. And he's said himself that if it were left to him, nothing would get done. She's not lived here in almost 2 years now, why shouldn't we make the place our own?
I think that you making it your family home is the right thing to do. Yes she's still and always going to be in your lives through the children, but that doesn't mean she has to have any input apart from them. Go, make it yours. I think it's about time you had somewhere that you wanted to be as your HOME, not a house.
My only concern would be you pushing yourself too hard doing all the decorating yourself.... :)
Stella180
27-07-20, 10:30 PM
So you haven’t said in the past that you don’t like seeing the colours she chose? Or that you feel like it’s not your home cos J pays for everything? I’m worried about you. No one else is gonna say anything. A coat of paint and a bit of wallpaper isn’t going to change your mindset. Of course you belong there and you deserve to be happy. J wants you there not to cook clean and decorate. You’re not a maid, you’re his partner and it worries me that the way you talk about things you don’t truly believe you belong. Maybe I’m wrong, or maybe I’m a few steps ahead. You know me, I pay attention to the throw away comments and I pick up on the things that aren’t said. I’m not out to upset you, I’m pointing out that there are issues that you need the get right in your head not on the walls.
Stella, I don’t see any harm in Jaq and J wanting to decorate to make the house their own. When my ex left, I redecorated the whole house, top to bottom, within 6 months. It was really therapeutic and helped me to move past it being ‘our’ house and it became ‘mine’. Sometimes, getting things right on the walls can help with getting things right in the head.
Jaquaia
28-07-20, 09:06 AM
No I don't like seeing the colours she chose, and do you know what? Neither does J! He wasn't allowed an input into his own house! He's said several times that it was never a home with her so the decorating is as much for those children and J as it is for me. We're turning this into a home.
The kitchen was deep red with black work surfaces and splashbacks, white units and a black blind. It's too small a space for those colours to work the way they were done. It looked dark, cluttered and cramped and felt claustrophobic. It's now pale green with grey units and light wood worksurfaces. It looks spacious and inviting and I now enjoy baking in there. One of the first things J said when he saw the kitchen after it had been put in was he couldn't believe how big it looked.
The living room was pink and very light brown/beige with a massive dark wood fireplace, the colours didn't go together and I hate pink. Bright pink sofa, bright pink floral curtains, pink walls...I bit my dentist because he tried to put pink rubbers on my brace, so this isn't a Cruella thing, this is a me thing. A's room is overwhelmingly pink but it's her room. This was the living room so where I spent most of my time. Not to mention the sofa was incredibly uncomfortable. Now the living room is light green and grey, with a dark grey corner sofa. It's clearly defined into two areas now, relaxing and dining, it never had that before as the dining table was at the front of the room and it looked cluttered. Now there's more room and it's a peaceful and relaxing room to be in. I'm quite happy to sit in here all day and read. The colours are calming and the sofa is comfy.
Our room was only half stripped. Now it has denim blue wallpaper and grey accessories. I don't find half finished rooms that relaxing, this we're both happy in. The hallway had a lot of animal print. I don't like animal print and won't buy clothes with it on, so again, not a Cruella thing, this is a me thing! Now the animal print has gone it's just white and I can live with that! It needs decorating to freshen it up, so that's last on the list. The downstairs toilet has peeling wallpaper and the vinyl floor is coming up so it needs doing. T's room hasn't been done since he was a toddler and every other room is getting done so he deserves his room doing to his taste too. A heard me talking to T about how he wanted his room doing and started talking to me about colours for her room so hers is just getting tidied up as it was painted in a rush. Same with the bathroom.
And I don't feel like it's my home as I have very few of my things here! You wouldn't know I lived here unless you looked in my wardrobe but that's lockdown for you. I do struggle with not contributing, but I think that's a me thing. If my parents were struggling I'd always be happy to lend them money to help out but I would never ask my dad when I was struggling. I've always felt like I should do it myself. It drove my parents crazy! Here, I feel like the only way I can contribute to the house is to do the housework. It's how I saw my parents do it. I even hate that my weightloss is starting to mean I need new clothes as I can't afford to replace them, and certainly not after next week when I restart driving lessons! I've bought all the paint instead, or clothes for the children, or paid for days out, or bought Christmas presents to put away as I think my family should come first. Again, I think that comes from my upbringing as I saw my parents always go without if us children ever needed anything. To me, it's just how it's done.
Stella180
28-07-20, 09:34 AM
You have a lot of “me things“ going on.
Jaquaia
28-07-20, 09:45 AM
Yes. And not liking pink or animal print isn't going to change. The rest will come when I get used to living in a different environment.
Strugglingmum
28-07-20, 11:02 AM
The house sounds lovely Jaq, very calm and relaxing. Once you get some of your own photos and knick knacks up it will feel more like home and I wouldn't want to look at anything the previous occupant had chosen either.
I've always been independent so I too struggled when I took ill and wasnt contributing financially... I had been the main breadwinner most of our marriage, however we adjust and I contribute differently now and we just had to get used to less money.
Doing all that in the midst of a global pandemic must be so hard Jaq, hats off to you, you're doing fab.
Jaquaia
28-07-20, 12:04 PM
I may regret this but I have a bag of glitter additive being delivered today. It's going to be mixed with lilac emulsion for A's room...
OMG Glitter!!!!!! YAY!! I LOVE glitter and sparkles!
Jaquaia
28-07-20, 01:10 PM
I may get J to mix it as I can imagine me getting it all over the place!
GLITTER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (happy)
Jaquaia
28-07-20, 01:28 PM
https://www.dropbox.com/s/q0jv2qtdulhr0bb/20200728_132233.jpg?raw=1
I've only taken it out of the packaging and I'm already covered...
Ooh! glitter!...how exciting! Don't blame you for doing an entire makeover...I did the same when I went to live with Mr Mac in Scotland. There are some things you just have to do! The bedroom was dark purple and black!! Judging by all the pink and animal print I'm beginning to wonder if Cruella was running a knocking shop on the side!! I like your colour choices and the little girl will be chuffed with her new bedroom bless her. There's something very fulfilling about making things nice for children, their whole little worlds change and they want to invite all their mates round for a sleep-over christening. It'll keep you young Jaq. Good for you.
Judging by all the pink and animal print I'm beginning to wonder if Cruella was running a knocking shop on the side!!
This made me laugh far too much!
That glitter is amazing... Do you think Marc would notice if I mixed some in with the paint we have for the hall, stairs and landing?
Jaquaia
28-07-20, 03:28 PM
Less than £9 from amazon! 1 pack will do a subtle glitter effect when mixed in 2.5l of paint. If you want it more glittery then you use more and also buff the paint when it's dry! I will post pics when it's done.
In between studying addictions I've been painting watering cans again! 2 coats of paint is a massive improvement!
https://www.dropbox.com/s/ra0a30gk9ley3ag/20200728_151334.jpg?raw=1
Strugglingmum
28-07-20, 05:32 PM
Love the sound of the glitter.wish my daughter was still young enough to appreciate glitter(rofl)
Si is trying to cure my sparkle addiction, especially with the interior decor ...... :@
Jaquaia
29-07-20, 08:16 AM
Next time you decorate, arrange for him to play golf and hand the decorators the glitter once he's left ;)
Already up, showered, dressed, have our bedding in the washer, have unpacked the small box of paint that arrived yesterday (I say small but it had 7.5l of various paints in it) and have sorted the recycling. Breakfast now!
Good plan re the glitter! lol
What's on your agenda today? Sounds like you're already being busy!
Jaquaia
29-07-20, 08:28 AM
I need to make our bed and hoover upstairs. Other then that, just some study and some raeding or knitting.
Will you pace? Those are both physical jobs...
Jaquaia
29-07-20, 08:44 AM
I will try. I currently have the cat sat next to me sulking as I'm in his seat (rofl)
That's hilarious! He's such a character!
Jaquaia
29-07-20, 10:04 AM
He's awesome! Just stood up to get a drink and found him like this (giggle)
https://www.dropbox.com/s/l210zlers73zjcu/20200729_095433.jpg?raw=1
On your feet, lose your seat! That's how it works in my house too, but it's either teenagers or a Belgium Malinois or a Willow Minnow in your seat....
Jaquaia
29-07-20, 11:57 AM
Oh I'm sat at the table working! But is funny how he nicks your seat. T generally sits at the end of the sofa and the minute he moves, Toby is there!
Hahaha!! Typical! Fang is the same. I go and get a coffee and she's on the settee in a nano second!! They aren't daft are they?
Jaquaia
29-07-20, 10:28 PM
Well one thing I wasn't prepared for when discussing country living was the number of power cuts we get!
Jaquaia
30-07-20, 09:52 AM
Had at least one a month in the time I've been here. Last night it was off for a few hours as there was a fire at the substation
When I first moved in with Marc I still had my "emergency power cut box" which had candles, matches etc in and was always kept under the sink ;)
Jaquaia
30-07-20, 10:03 AM
I have candles and lighters but at 10pm we couldn't be bothered and just went to bed!
And that is why I’m a townie through and through ;)
Jaquaia
30-07-20, 03:14 PM
Oooh!!! We popped to B&Q and I bought plants for the watering cans!!! I'll post pics when they're planted up!!!
Strugglingmum
30-07-20, 04:03 PM
My kids always loved a power cut for some reason. Wee weirdos (rofl)
Yes, we had a lot in the Highlands...there's something primeval about candles isn't there? Always had/have a gas hob so we could make hot drinks and soup etc., even toast held to an open fire.
Jaquaia
30-07-20, 06:38 PM
I think this classes as upcycling!
https://www.dropbox.com/s/osqckhxta46rwr1/20200730_173808.jpg?raw=1
Stella180
30-07-20, 06:48 PM
Looks awesome. Great job. However isn’t it gonna be weird watering a watering can?
Strugglingmum
30-07-20, 07:44 PM
They look lovely Jaq.
They match great with everything. Good choice.
Jaquaia
03-08-20, 04:50 PM
Cruella's stuff has gone!!! (party)(party)(party)
Project summerhouse refurb can now commence! First job is washing down the walls with bleach and stripping wallpaper!
(party)
Btw, is the bleach to get rid of her smell???
Woohoo! Bonfire in the garden or did she come and take it?
YAY!!!!!
Jaquaia
03-08-20, 06:04 PM
Paula (giggle) the bleach is to get rid of the mould that has started growing in there!
Suzi, J and a friend of his took it all! She's even messaged J to thank him which surprised me! And as she wanted her bike, we've even cleared a lot of the shed!
Hooray! Thank goodness for that! She's gone! Woohoo! So is that all of her sh*t gone?
Jaquaia
03-08-20, 07:38 PM
There's just some things in the loft now and then that's everything
Stella180
03-08-20, 08:16 PM
Good bloody riddance.
How soon can you get rid of that tat? Bonfire?
Jaquaia
03-08-20, 09:34 PM
It will be when we have chance to get into the loft.
Strugglingmum
03-08-20, 10:43 PM
I'm really happy for you. Creating space for you to breathe. Xx
YAY!
So, are you feeling more at home? It must be awesome knowing that her sh*t has gone.
Jaquaia
04-08-20, 10:30 AM
It helps that there's starting to be more of me here, itms, like the planted watering cans. It's a touch that is specifically me.
Absolutely makes sense :)
It's your HOME love, you put your flourishes in every inch you want! You're creating such a lovely space for you and J!
I hope that you soon will feel the warmth you have brought to that house and into the family yourself. I am sure you have brought a peace and calm there that was not there before. That house needs some time after that horrible woman. But it will hug you soon enough and wont let go.
Jaquaia
04-08-20, 09:53 PM
That's a lovely thing to say!
He's right you know.... :)
How are you today? How's your stiffness etc?
Jaquaia
05-08-20, 09:15 AM
I'm tired and stiff but not been awake long, it generally eases as the day progresses. We're going to Sledmere House today which should be nice
Is Sledmere House a National Trust Stately Home?...I'll look it up. But have a lovely time there and hope the weather's ok for wandering around. It's grey and 'mizzly' here in Somerset!
Just had a look at Sledmere.....nice little 2 up 2 down isn't it?!
OldMike
05-08-20, 10:21 AM
Cruella's stuff has gone!!! (party)(party)(party)
Project summerhouse refurb can now commence! First job is washing down the walls with bleach and stripping wallpaper!
Woo hoo a revamped summerhouse nothing can be better (party)
Hope you have a great time lovely!
Jaquaia
05-08-20, 08:25 PM
Just had a look at Sledmere.....nice little 2 up 2 down isn't it?!
(rofl)(rofl)(rofl)
We all enjoyed it. I loved the walled gardens, have a ridiculous number of photos of flowers on my phone! I was lucky enough to snap 4 different species of butterfly too!
Jaquaia
05-08-20, 08:29 PM
It was! I saw my first ever Red Admiral! And the gardens smelt absolutely amazing!
It was! I saw my first ever Red Admiral! And the gardens smelt absolutely amazing!
Glad you enjoyed it. We get quite a few butterflies in our garden. Have you got a Budlea (Budlia?) bush in your garden? If not, try and get hold of one from your garden centre...they look like Lilac bushes. When the flowers come out butterflies of all description flock to them and smother the bush,,,you'll get all sorts of exotic ones landing on it. Glad you had a nice time.
Bees love them too! My new buddliea is flowering for the first time - I thought it was purple, it’s white!
Morning Jaq! How are you all today? What's on today's agenda?
Jaquaia
06-08-20, 09:31 AM
I want a buddleja!
Todays plan is lazy-ish morning, lunch with the in-laws, driving lesson, do my mums meds then home to relax!
Stella180
06-08-20, 09:55 AM
Say hi to the olds for me. Hope your lesson goes well.
Jaquaia
06-08-20, 11:03 AM
Me too. Only had 20 minutes behind the wheel since March!
I will do!
Bees love them too! My new buddliea is flowering for the first time - I thought it was purple, it’s white!
Trust YOUR bush to be a different colour to everyone elses!!....figuratively speaking of course!!:P
rofl (rofl) (rofl) (rofl)
Stella180
06-08-20, 11:56 AM
Are we still talking gardening, or collars and cuffs? Lol
Jaquaia
06-08-20, 02:30 PM
(rofl)
My anxiety levels are sky high so back to basics I think...
Stella180
06-08-20, 02:38 PM
You’ll be fine once you get going.
Are we still talking gardening, or collars and cuffs? Lol
Ooh! You ARE naughty!!
You'll be fine Jaq.....after a few secs behind the wheel it'll only seem like yesterday since you last drove. Don't worry!
Strugglingmum
06-08-20, 06:56 PM
(rofl)
My anxiety levels are sky high so back to basics I think...
Hope it went ok and you were able to breathe. My daughter had her first lesson this week since lockdown. She was ok once she got going but the instructor commented she was more hesitant and had lost a bit of confidence.
Jaquaia
06-08-20, 08:28 PM
It went really well but anxiety tells you otherwise doesn't it?!
Strugglingmum
06-08-20, 08:41 PM
It went really well but anxiety tells you otherwise doesn't it?!
Always. X
Well done love! It's always hard to get behind the wheel when you're out of practise!
Stella180
06-08-20, 09:44 PM
Anxiety is a liar. You are ace.
Jaquaia
06-08-20, 10:00 PM
I just drove circuits where I first started lessons and even managed a decent turn in the road. Straight back to banter with my instructor too! But what I really liked was being able to have tea with my parents and they're bringing me home next week and staying for tea. J's parents came to collect me and his dad had a devent chat with my parents too!
Those are all great. I am happy your driving is going so much better. You got this! And that the parents are talking together is good. Nobody needs to be best friends. But being in a nice chat and friendly setting is worth gold. And thats what you deserve.
Jaquaia
07-08-20, 04:17 PM
OMG! Who turned the heating up??? I've got a coat of paint on the back of the playhouse, and done all the washing. It's dried beautifully but the heat is awful!
Strugglingmum
07-08-20, 06:51 PM
Oh my goodness.... can I swap for our rain please!!
Glad you've got loads done, but it's far too hot for me 36oC is toooooooooooooooooooo hot for me!
Jaquaia
07-08-20, 07:11 PM
It hit 30°C here, cooled down to 29°C now... keep finding poor Toby resembling a puddle! I've had salad for my tea as I couldn't face cooking though J finds it weird that I enjoy eating salad!
I had salad too and Marc bought tiger bread, ham, cheese, pasties for everyone else. I had no intention of cooking either! I love salad!
Stella180
07-08-20, 07:35 PM
Who doesn’t love a salad? I could eat it til it came out of my ears.
Si did a bbq, Katie and Dom ate with us - but poor Si was sweltering lol
Jaquaia
07-08-20, 09:26 PM
Stuffing my face with jaffa cakes as the stupid twatting cat has sent my anxiety levels sky high. It's pretty much dark here and the little (swear)(swear)(swear)(swear) has just strolled in, not a care in the world! Dickhead here has been panicking as he's always back before it gets dark and I was worried. He's in the dog house and is now curled up on the sofa sulking with me as I refused to give him any milk.
Twat!!!
He was probably getting it on with a little girl ....
Jaquaia
07-08-20, 10:44 PM
He'd have a job, he's lost his furry teabags (giggle)
(rofl) one of our cats (quite old) has developed a habit of miaowing like a banshee at dawn when I get up early with crossed eyes (me not the cat) and trying to remember what day it is! I have a very short fuse in the morning and can do without any noise at all, but telling her to shut the **** up usually does the trick! She just gives me a dirty look! Cats have laws all of their own.
Strugglingmum
08-08-20, 10:37 AM
(rofl)
Jaquaia
08-08-20, 11:04 AM
(rofl) one of our cats (quite old) has developed a habit of miaowing like a banshee at dawn when I get up early with crossed eyes (me not the cat) and trying to remember what day it is! I have a very short fuse in the morning and can do without any noise at all, but telling her to shut the **** up usually does the trick! She just gives me a dirty look! Cats have laws all of their own.
Toby argues back with me! Has to have the last word!
Great start to the morning! Showered, dressed, stripped the childrens beds, got a wash on, poured cherry pepsi on my cereal....
Hmm cherry pepsi cereal sounds... erm... erm... delicious?
Jaquaia
08-08-20, 11:42 AM
Autopilot *facepalm*
Luckily I realised quickly and tipped it out.
Stella180
08-08-20, 12:25 PM
Ermmmmm, that’s different.
Jaquaia
08-08-20, 12:44 PM
Yep! Glad I wasn't having weetabix or I wouldn't have been able to tip it!!! (giggle)
Have painted the back of the playhouse again, opened up the summerhouse to air, hung out the bedding to dry, got A's dress in soak (no idea what she's got down it but 3 washes and it's still stained!), now washing her blankets, and have measured up for the under the bed tent in T's room! It will be a shedload of sewing but the fabric is amazing!
Stella180
08-08-20, 02:14 PM
Get yourself a cheap little sewing machine. It’ll make it easier on your hands.
I agree go with a sewing machine!
You've done loads. What about pacing and resting? Are you drinking?
Jaquaia
08-08-20, 03:42 PM
I'm doing enough to keep my sanity! Restless today so need to be doing stuff. We've unpacked a few boxes in J's workshop and are just going to pick up a few more. Then I'll be reading in the garden or studying. Actually got a bit of a tan this year!
Stella180
08-08-20, 04:21 PM
I’ve not seen much of the sun since 2018. Now I’m scared to spend more than 5-10 mins outside when it’s hot. Learned my lesson the hard way with 2nd and 3rd degree burns.
As long as you're having fun whilst you're doing it! What about the drinking?
Jaquaia
08-08-20, 08:18 PM
Drinking is going ok but can always be better!
How’s the studying going?
Jaquaia
08-08-20, 10:08 PM
Not too bad. Need to knuckle down though and get through it.
Oh and I listened to my body. I was going to make the childrens beds but I was feeling achey so have left them until tomorrow!
Blimey! That's amazing! *Awards Chufty badge*
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