I ill try it here.. *SH*and *over 18 only*

[lafo57]

I dont know if this is allowed but I cant put the entire story and its impossible for me to shorten it.. Ive placed it here on reddit a while ago but no one responded so here it is:

https://www.reddit.com/r/depression/comments/ch0e5x/dont_know_what_else_to_do_so_i_just_leave_it_up/

I tried posting my situation on different forums but nobody ever responded.. I just dont know what to do. Should I tell them how I feel? That I feel used and stuff? I'm scared that they will accuse me of wanting an attention again. And I'm really sad again because I asked if they wanted to go out and have a beer or something and they didnt respond. And then I learned that they had gone out for that beer but without me. I just dont know what I did wrong ive done everything they wanted everytime they needed help I helped them..I dont know why they hate me so much..And the voices are getting stronger every minute I feel down because of them.. I just believe that if they realized how I feel and if they accepted it I would feel better too.. But I'm so scared..

[Suzi]

I don't normally allow external links, especially with a new member, but I've started to read through everything you have posted and have decided it can stay.

I confess, I haven't read it all, but I promise you I will try to, but it'll take me some time.
Sweetheart have you seen your Dr recently and told them how you are feeling?

[lafo57]

Thank you so much. My problems are way too complicated and eventhough I tried so hard I just couldnt fit it under 5000words.
Yea eventhough my experiences with doctors were not that Great I gave it one more shot. Doctor told me to just say how I feel what I am ( gay and stuff ) and that it will make me feel better... weeeelll you guessed it: it didnt. Like whatsoever. It only got worse because friends accused me of not being gay of just craving for an attention. they think of me that I want them to pity me or something. So I gave up on doctors and stuff

[AAndrea]

Helllo
My name is Andrea and i am 22 . I live in the UK .
I have read your post and i am going to try and help ok. People like us with mental illness we have got to stick together because society discriminates against us and does not understand us.
How does healthcare work in the slovakia?
In the UK we have the NHS which is free healthcare and our family doctors known as gps refer us to mental health services for help .
Reddit fourm users are mainly from USA or canada therefore tend to advise on issues in america or canada. That is why your post did not get any responses.
I have 3 ideas ok which you can try.
1) check in to a psychartic hospital. I know this controversial but aleast in a facility you will get the help you need.
2) Are there any mental health charties in slovakia you can get in touch with .
3) you being a member of the eu you have free movement . Try saving up and move to western european country.sometines where you determines the healthcare you get . It is sad.
You are not alone . You are not a freak. You are ill. Your brain can be sick like anyother organ in the brain.
You are a beautiful human being here for a purpose. You have not discovered who you are yet.
When i was in high school i never used to fit in anywhere, a liked a boy and he lied about being gay so i can no longer chase after him. He humilated me in front the whole school. I talk to myself and my family think i am crazy. Sometimes i feel like this world is not for me.
You are worth it .
What do you enjoy doing the most?
Dont give up ok .
I am here .
Andrea loves you .

[AAndrea]

I forgot to mention a lot of fourm users are from the UK and use the NHS . most of us dont know the slovkian health care system.
How does healthcare work in slovakia?
Please dont give up. There are lots of psople with mental illness who have done amazing things with their lives and gave so much to the world .
Josh nash had schizopherina and he turned out to be an award winning mathematican
Jack kerouac (1922-1969)was a famous american poet and wrote the classice on the road . He had schziopherina.
Rufus may is a british clincal psycholist who was diagnosdd at 18 with schizopherina.
You did not chose to be this way. Your feelings are real and you need to he aroud peole who do understand.
God bless you and take care.

[Suzi]

Helllo
My name is Andrea and i am 22 . I live in the UK .
I have read your post and i am going to try and help ok. People like us with mental illness we have got to stick together because society discriminates against us and does not understand us.
How does healthcare work in the slovakia?
In the UK we have the NHS which is free healthcare and our family doctors known as gps refer us to mental health services for help .
Reddit fourm users are mainly from USA or canada therefore tend to advise on issues in america or canada. That is why your post did not get any responses.
I have 3 ideas ok which you can try.
1) check in to a psychartic hospital. I know this controversial but aleast in a facility you will get the help you need.
2) Are there any mental health charties in slovakia you can get in touch with .
3) you being a member of the eu you have free movement . Try saving up and move to western european country.sometines where you determines the healthcare you get . It is sad.
In the UK, it's very difficult to just "check into a psychiatric hospital" under the NHS. It's much easier if you pay privately - but it depends on the Slovakian health care system.
WRT moving to a Western European country again it's not always that easy, and generally you need a reason to stay for an extended period of time... So, before you choose this option, please check everything out about it.

[lafo57]

Thank you Andrea and sorry for this late response. I just woke up (snooze)
In Slovakia you have to go to your personal doctor whom you have had since you were born. If I have a cold or sore throat I always go to her because only her can redirect me to other specialists. Everything is for free though as long as you have your insurance card. She sent me to a psychiatrist but they didn't help. Every doctor that focuses on mental health problems I have ever visited only focused on the part that I am gay. They tend to think that I am deppressed because of it but ironically this is the least of my problems.
You asked if there are any charities in Slovakia that I could get in touch with : yeah they are but they only help like financially. They are not the type of guys that would be supportive and would give you an advice. They would ask if I have a paper for it and after that they would gimme Money and thats all.

I have already tried checking at psychiatric hospital. That was the guy in the post who was dumb enough to ask me the specific question that made me cut myself in the first place (rofl) never again.

I like your idea about saving up some Money and then go West. I like Slovakia a lot but we are sooo behind. Sometimes I feel like that psychologists and psychiatrists can't help me not because they didn't want to but just because they don't know HOW to. Like that they have never seen a patient with schizophrenia or something.
Thanks for your words though.. This is much much more than I expected it would be. And to Suzi that she didn't close this topic :D I have never thought about going to other countries for help. Think I just might try it

[AAndrea]

Lafo57
What are you doing this weekand what do you enjoy doing
i hope and pray it all works out for you. Keep trying your family docotor for now. Another suggestion is keep a diary of how the voices affect your daily life, what the voices are like or do have a trusted friend or family you can bring with you when you see doctors .
What is relationship like with your mum . Is it good or bad. Any other relatives you have good relations with.
We are all here for you . The more evidence you have the better.
I know so many young eastern europeans our age leave thier countries to come to western europe. Thats were the idea came from.
The people here are really lovely on this forum.
Dont be afarid to come here again
We would all love to know how you are doing .

[lafo57]

Lafo57
What are you doing this weekand what do you enjoy doing
i hope and pray it all works out for you. Keep trying your family docotor for now. Another suggestion is keep a diary of how the voices affect your daily life, what the voices are like or do have a trusted friend or family you can bring with you when you see doctors .
What is relationship like with your mum . Is it good or bad. Any other relatives you have good relations with.
We are all here for you . The more evidence you have the better.
I know so many young eastern europeans our age leave thier countries to come to western europe. Thats were the idea came from.
The people here are really lovely on this forum.
Dont be afarid to come here again
We would all love to know how you are doing .

My university is starting on Monday so I will be preparing myself all weekend for it. This will be a very different type of school experience for me so I'm really interested in it and how it Works. I'm going to study Middle-european studies ( Hungary, Poland and Slovenia ) and languages of those countries so I'm really looking forward to it.
I love watching tv series: Peaky Blinders, Game of Thrones, Mr Robot and so on... this is probably what I love doing the most.
My relationship with my mum is Great but I can't tell her how i feel since she is really like... well I don't want to be rude but mentally weak. If I told her how i feel she would blame herself for it and I'm scared she would do something stupid. Other than that I really love her.
The best relationship is probably with my friends eventhough they hurt me a lot. I still love them for some reason and thats why it hurts to know that they don't feel the same about me. I still don't know if I should tell them how i feel or nah.
I'm doing all right now. Not Great not terrible. I'm like no sad or anything I can laugh if somebody says anything funny and you know. It's always when my friends hurt me in that case I feel really really down. I'm fine now though thanks for asking

[Suzi]

Is this your first year at uni? Will you have the opportunity to meet new people and make new friends? Are you going to be living at home or moving away?

[lafo57]

Is this your first year at uni? Will you have the opportunity to meet new people and make new friends? Are you going to be living at home or moving away?

I'm moving away. Yea there will be lots of people to meet. Im kinda counting on it that I will me some new friends that will treat me better. And yea this is my first year

[lafo57]

Is this your first year at uni? Will you have the opportunity to meet new people and make new friends? Are you going to be living at home or moving away?

I'm sorry but I think it didnt send so I'm sending my reponse again. If it was indeed sent that feel free to delete this post.
Yes Its my first year at uni and yes there will be lots of new people to meet. I'm kinda counting on it because I want new friends that will treat me better

[Suzi]

Are you moving far away? My eldest is leaving at the weekend and he's going across the country...

[lafo57]

Are you moving far away? My eldest is leaving at the weekend and he's going across the country...

Its 2 hours travelling by train from my home. Its not that far I guess but its far enough for me to start being independent.
Maybe a stupid question but are you scared? How does it feel to send your eldest that far?
Btw update : Today I called them out for a beer and they didnt respond so I went to have a beer myself alone. Then I met a friend of mine who told me that the guys I invited to have a beer with me went out to eat and to have a beer.. I felt really down at first. Like really sad. But slowly my sadness is becoming an anger because I dont know what I have done to deserve this.. Gotta say anger is better emotion for me than sadness tho

[Suzi]

Am I scared? Yes and no... I know academically he'll be fine, socially I'm concerned as he has Aspergers, but I also know that this uni has so much support in place for him which they are automatically putting in place for him that it's OK. It also helps that it's 20 mins for my best friend to get to him in an emergency! However, moving away from home for uni was one of the best decisions I ever made.
Have you told anyone at your uni that you are struggling with your mental health? At least the tutors will be aware and you could get extra help etc?

[lafo57]

I'm sorry but I really don't know what Aspergers is.. Is it one of those syndromes that when it affects somebody the individual is having problem like with social interactions or something like that?
No not yet. But I do know that there psychologists for those who need them but the only support I will probably have is financial. I can give them papers that my parents are divorced and that I suffer from schizophrenia and probably deppression and they give me Money thats all

[Suzi]

Aspergers is one of the areas that come under the umbrella of Autistic Spectrum Disorders. So yeah, the social "thing" can be really, really hard.

Go to the disability service and tell them about it - you could be able to get loads of support, a disabled students allowance and better understanding...

[lafo57]

Yea I'm going there tomorrow I'll see what happens. With a little luck I will find somebody who can really help me. I'm trying not to count on it though.
I'm sorry to ask but I'm just curious: Was it really hard to take care of him? Did he have some special needs or attention?

[Suzi]

In what way? People with ASD are all as different as people without. My husband, eldest and youngest all have Aspergers. It means that they see the world slightly differently, and we've had our far share of meltdowns, but no more than any child imho, but maybe that's because I'm was specially trained in ASD and Behavioural issues when I was teaching..