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Tommy_85
24-08-19, 01:55 PM
Hi everybody

Just registered on here to join the community. Am a 33 year old male living in the UK. Suffer with depression and social anxiety.
Had depression for a number of years and first became aware of my social anxiety at the age of 19.
Take venlafaxine for my depression and currently live at home with my mother. Am a mature student at university.
Have never felt happy or content with my life. Always felt like an outsider. Moved around the country quite a lot and have only one friend I can see sometimes.
I was in a relationship that lasted about 5 years but ended in 2017 due to me quitting a course I was on that was going to lead to a decent job but I hated it ..and back to square one with no decent paid job.
I just dont function like a normal person. Always feel low and want to withdraw. Hardly have any interest in anything or feel motivated to try and make friends. Don't use facebook or instagram. Really lost in life and feel hopeless. Only having a great mother is what keeps me going.
Feel so ashamed of the way I am. Im getting older and just don't know how my life will improve. Always find it difficult being with other people and just want to withdraw.

Suzi
24-08-19, 02:01 PM
Hi and welcome to DWD! I can assure you that you have nothing to be ashamed about. You are poorly. You wouldn't be ashamed if it was a physical illness.
What are you studying at uni? How long have you been on the venlafaxine? When did you see your GP last?

Tommy_85
24-08-19, 02:08 PM
Hi Suzi, Im studying english literature at university. I've been taking venlafaxine for about 5 years. Came off it in february as I started doing a lot of exercise with a personal trainer
and was feeling better about myself. At this time I thought I was feeling great but my mother, who i live with noticed my moods were very manic, I wasn't sleeping and attending university and now unfortunately have to repeat the year due to absence. I have been taking meds again for about a month and will be starting university again next month.

Jaquaia
24-08-19, 02:15 PM
Hi and welcome! I'm a mature student too! Definitely nothing to be ashamed about

Tommy_85
24-08-19, 02:17 PM
Hi Jaquala. Nice to meet you. What do you study at university?

Suzi
24-08-19, 02:27 PM
Your Mum sounds supportive... Have you been back to see your GP? Have you ever had any talking therapy?

Tommy_85
24-08-19, 02:34 PM
She is, I'm very lucky. I have been put back onto venlafaxine, was a telephone conversation with my GP. Waiting list to have a face to face appointment is 3 weeks at my clinic.
Years ago I was referred to therapist and it took months after it was arranged to finally see anybody. I didnt find it very helpful and dont have faith in the benefits of it (nhs)
Probably be a different situation if it was a private therapist who you went to see on a regular weekly basis but my last experience of getting a therapist through the nhs wouldn't have me attempting to go down that route again.

Jaquaia
24-08-19, 02:40 PM
Hi Jaquala. Nice to meet you. What do you study at university?

I'm doing psychology with counselling through the OU


She is, I'm very lucky. I have been put back onto venlafaxine, was a telephone conversation with my GP. Waiting list to have a face to face appointment is 3 weeks at my clinic.
Years ago I was referred to therapist and it took months after it was arranged to finally see anybody. I didnt find it very helpful and dont have faith in the benefits of it (nhs)
Probably be a different situation if it was a private therapist who you went to see on a regular weekly basis but my last experience of getting a therapist through the nhs wouldn't have me attempting to go down that route again.

I think as in all walks of life, there is good and bad. I've had some truly horrendous counsellors and some absolutely amazing ones.

Tommy_85
24-08-19, 02:46 PM
Yes I'm sure there are wonderful therapists out there. I am not against going to see one but I just don't know whether I will request it at this point. Maybe if things don't improve. I really just want to meet people with similar issues to myself and try and form friendships and a support group.

Jaquaia
24-08-19, 03:00 PM
Ultimately, counselling won't work properly if you don't engage with it fully, and if you're currently not comfortable with the idea then you're making the best choice for you.

Have you contacted your local Mind? They often run support groups. Andy's Man Club is another good resource if there's one in your area. And you will always find people who understand here

Paula
24-08-19, 03:37 PM
Hi, Tommy, and welcome

AAndrea
24-08-19, 05:19 PM
Hey Tommy welcome to DWD.
I am 22 years old and joined this forum recently . I find this fournm a wonderful community and people on here have been so supportive . I recently finished university. I graduated with a 2.1 in law . Sucide is biggest killer of men i am glad you are getting help and i am.happy your mum is supportive.
I hope you succeed with at university . I was diagnosed with Depression during my final year of university. I kept breaking down crying and struggled to stay motivated . I flipped over a desk during one of my law exams and stormed out of the exam hall.
Finaincally my family are supportive but emotionally not so much . My family don't take mental health seriously so I have hidden my diagnosis from my family .
I am politics geek and I love shopping.
God bless you and wish you well.

Tommy_85
24-08-19, 07:26 PM
Hi Andrea, nice to hear from you. I'm sorry to hear about your problems at university but you are incredibly resilient to of been able to fight through and finish your degree.
I watch the news and try to keep up with current affairs but am not all that knowledgeable on politics. God bless you also. I hope you manage to live as best you can and gain support from others such as myself.

Hi Paula, nice to meet you.

Suzi
24-08-19, 11:17 PM
You've been given some good suggestions about mind and Andy's man project or men in sheds etc... I'm glad you have spoken to your GP and that you're OK with meds. That's really positive.

OldMike
25-08-19, 09:25 AM
Hi Tommy it is good you've a supportive mum.