Slipping away - SU TRIGGER

[Layla]

Hello All.

I am new and have recently been going through a tough time. I think it all started with gambling. Myself and my partner became regular gamblers and started to lose alot of money. We had found gambling so comforting that we ended up taking personal loans just to have enough money to gamble. Cutting long story short we are at the point were we are struggling to pay our finances and I feel I'm to blame coz I am currently unemployed.
My relationship is also on the rocks coz all we ever talk about is where do we get money to pay for our debts every month end. And its putting pressure on me coz I try for jobs but nothing comes through
I tend to cry all the time and theres like a switch in my head that keeps on changing my moods from normal to negative thoughts
I often think of how convenient it would be to just end it all coz I am 36 years old , unemployed, no savings , have a partner who is more stressed about finances. I feel like a burden at times.
I dont know what to do ;(

[Paula]

Hi Layla, I’ve added a trigger warning to your thread, it’s nothing to worry about but just ensures any other members who may find certain subjects triggering are warned

Sweetie, you are NOT a burden and it would never be convenient to anyone who cares about you for you to end it all. Yes, you’re in a very difficult situation right now but there is always a way through.

First, if you haven’t already, please, please talk to your doctor. You need support and that is the first step to finding that support. Second, we’ve listed a number of gambling helplines here http://www.dealingwithdepression.co.uk/showthread.php?14279-Addiction-amp-Substance-Abuse-Help-UK-amp-Ireland and here http://www.dealingwithdepression.co.uk/showthread.php?14281-Addiction-amp-Substance-Abuse-worldwide which may help you. Please contact them, they know how to help you. Third, if you’re in the U.K., contact Citizens Advice https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/. They may be able to help you with dealing with your debts

[Jaquaia]

Hi and welcome. Have you spoke to your partner about how it's all making you feel? Your first step would be speaking to your doctor lovely, they can help with how you're feeling and refer you on to or give you details to self refer to counselling. It might be worth seeking help for the gambling, Gamblers Anonymous may run groups in your area that will help you both deal with that. And it would be worth seeing Citizens Advice or contacting on of the debt charities about your debts.

There is a way through. I'm not a gambler but my ex was and he left me with a lot of debt. Companies have been really understanding about making repayment agreements with me.

[Layla]

Hi Paula
Thank you for adding the trigger and for the kind words
I have been to my doctor and he has put me on antidepressants
I have been on cilift for 8 months for anxiety but I feel like it has recently turned into depression

[Paula]

When was the last time you had a review with your doctor?

[Layla]

Hello Jaquaia
I am sorry to hear about how your hubby left u with debts
I no longer gamble. It's been 6 months now for both my partner and myself
Yes I have discussed my health with my partner but if u arent going through this phase you would never really understand and I guess that's were I am coming from.

About a month ago. My GP has recommended that I increase my dose, meditate, excersise and eat a healthy diet. But I am doing all of the above.

[Paula]

About a month ago. My GP has recommended that I increase my dose, meditate, excersise and eat a healthy diet. But I am doing all of the above.

Well done for doing all of that. It may not seem it just yet but you are getting there - it took you a long time to get to this stage, so it’s not an overnight fix. Keep going, lovely

[Suzi]

Hi and welcome!
I'm sorry you're struggling, but I am so amazed at being 6 months since you last gambled. Any addiction is hard to stop and each day should be celebrated! Well done!
I'm glad you've seen your GP. Have you applied for unemployment benefits?

[Jaquaia]

If he's struggling to understand then it might be worth showing him the time to change website?