Hello

[Hugo2]

First of all many thanks to Suzi for helping with my registration issue :)

Where to start?

Over the past few months I've been feeling more and more like I am suffering from depression - I completed the NHS mood assessment survery that states my anxiety is 20/21 and depression is 23/24!

Back in Feb I dropped out of a three year studying course (which I lost interest in) and returned full time to employment. This employment pays well but is pressurised, unrewarding and I am continuously asking myself is this all my life is worth? My wife's mother is suffering from cancer so I'm trying to be strong for her, I know I cannot speak to her about this as she already has enough to deal with! I have been off work this past week as I really don't want to leave the house. I have deleted all my social media accounts and really have no friends at all to speak to. I am wondering if making a doctors appointment would just be seen as troubling them?

More and more I find myself wondering what life would be like for others when I'm gone . . .

[Jaquaia]

Hi and welcome.

Make the appointment lovely, that's what they're there for. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health. Be honest with them and they'll be able to help you

[Hugo2]

Thank you Jaquaia

I've made an appointment but at the moment it doesn't feel like anything will help at all.

[Jaquaia]

It does feel like that at times and it may take a while to find something that helps but there is a way through.

[Suzi]

YAY you made it! :)

Hunni, listen. I'm going to level with you. Before I knew what my husband's diagnosis was I had no idea of what I was dealing with and my mind went to (what would be for me) the worst outcome - he didn't want to be with me and our children anymore or that there was something more wrong.... I promise you, no matter how much you think she can't take it, it's better than what she's probably thinking...
Talk to her. She's your wife and she loves you and she'll want to help. Let her know about the Drs appointment and let her come with you.

Why did you drop out of the course? What was is? Why have you deleted all your social media accounts?

[Hugo2]

YAY you made it! :)

Hunni, listen. I'm going to level with you. Before I knew what my husband's diagnosis was I had no idea of what I was dealing with and my mind went to (what would be for me) the worst outcome - he didn't want to be with me and our children anymore or that there was something more wrong.... I promise you, no matter how much you think she can't take it, it's better than what she's probably thinking...
Talk to her. She's your wife and she loves you and she'll want to help. Let her know about the Drs appointment and let her come with you.

Why did you drop out of the course? What was is? Why have you deleted all your social media accounts?

Thank you Suzi

I was three months short of a diploma in photography. It just wasn't fun anymore, I weighed up whether the outcome was worth the effort and made my decision. As for social media, I was finding it more of a burden than an aid (or tool) to keep in touch with people and again it really just didn't seem worth the effort.

[Suzi]

Ahh, a photographer! My husband is a keen photographer too! :) Are you still taking pictures?
Are there people you wanted to keep up to date with?

[Hugo2]

Ahh, a photographer! My husband is a keen photographer too! :) Are you still taking pictures?
Are there people you wanted to keep up to date with?

Still taking pictures occasionally. There's no one I really wanted to keep up to date with, or in contact with. It's easier to avoid social media and keep myself to myself.

My docs appt isn't until Sept. I've decided to take the rest of the week off sick and return on Tue when my shift is due back.

Will see how that goes . . . .

[Suzi]

I'm glad you are taking time out. Have you thought about telling your wife? Can you try to get a cancellation or a sooner appointment?

[Paula]

Hi Hugo and welcome. You are absolutely not troubling your doctor - it’s what they’re there for. Can you push for an earlier appointment? Perhaps tell them you’ve had to take time off work because of how you’re feeling? Or perhaps you could ask for a telephone call with the doctor to start with?

A while back my husband was struggling with certain events but didn’t want to burden me as I have physical issues and he didn’t want to add to my pressures. But I knew he was struggling and because he wasn’t talking to me I couldn’t help him or encourage him to see his doctor. Marriage is a partnership, and the only sensible way to deal with all of what’s going on in both your lives is by doing it together.

Is it possible to return to your course when you feel better (because , with help, you will feel better)?