View Full Version : Picking up the pieces again *SU Trigger*
Strugglingmum
22-07-20, 12:38 PM
Didn't get up till 10am today. Enjoyed a lie in. Have the ironing done and heading out to the shops with A and my daughter. We are heading away for the weekend so needing a couple of things.
Strugglingmum
22-07-20, 04:14 PM
You going anywhere nice?
Heading up North Coast. Its beautiful. Lots of beaches and the crashing Atlantic. It's our chill place. We were lucky and got a good deal on a hotel for 3 nights so just decided to go for it.
Sounds amazing! Are you all going or just you and A?
Strugglingmum
22-07-20, 07:24 PM
Just A and me. Cant wait. No kids, no animals, just us. Be good to just connect in peace with no pressure.
Oh that does sound amazing!
Strugglingmum
23-07-20, 03:06 PM
At the hairdressers. So pleased to finally get it done!! What colour will I choose... who knows... I'm still not sure(rofl)
OO What colour did you choose?
Stella180
23-07-20, 06:34 PM
Blue, please tell me you close blue.
Strugglingmum
23-07-20, 08:25 PM
Blue, please tell me you close blue.
No I was blue a few colours ago.
When I arrived at the hairdressers I was burgundy...with natural grey poking through. I am now a metallic light copper colour.
It's the lightest I've ever been.... still not too sure. It's nice...just a bit of a shock everytime I look in the mirror
OOOO I love turning my hair different colours! :) YAY! What does A think?
Strugglingmum
23-07-20, 11:22 PM
OOOO I love turning my hair different colours! :) YAY! What does A think?
A....... Ooooh that's different!!!!
I'm not even going to pursue if that was a positive reaction or not. I dont really mind.... it's my hair. It's more important if I decide I like it. I'm getting more used to it so I think I do. We go away tomorrow morning so I'll have the weekend to get used to it.
Lol! Men huh?
Hope you have a great time away lovely!
Absolutely this is for you! Si hates tattoos, I have four and have never apologised for it ;)
Stella180
24-07-20, 02:33 PM
I’m with Si, not a fan of tats and that puts us in the minority these days.
Strugglingmum
24-07-20, 05:49 PM
Love my tat.... hubby doesn't like tats on girls but hey my body
Strugglingmum
25-07-20, 09:00 PM
We are having an amazing time away just relaxing.
I've never watched an episode of GOT in my life but enjoyed going to see the Dark Hedges which were made famous by GOT. They've been there for hundreds of years and I've been before as a child but they weren't famous then. (rofl)
I will definitely put on weight this weekend so that should make my CPN happy too! Lots of nice eating out....and ice cream.
Most importantly... I feel relaxed and happy. Like not just wee moments of feeling brighter, but actually happy. A is delighted to see me smile most of the day. We went to my favourite beach this morning for a walk and I felt energised and A said I was glowing. Hope it lasts when I get home. X
Your photos look awesome! I'm so glad that you're having a good time! :)
Strugglingmum
27-07-20, 03:54 PM
Back home from our hollibops. Nice to see the dog and cat.... oh yes, yet to see the teenagers!! (giggle)
Jaquaia
27-07-20, 04:12 PM
(giggle)
How was it love? Did you have a good time?
Strugglingmum
27-07-20, 07:55 PM
The dog gave me a wonderful welcome, the cat was as pleased to see me as any cat is (giggle)
The teens had hoovered, and made sure the house was tidy. My wonderful daughter had washed and hoovered my car. I think they were pleased to see us, but dont tell anyone(nod)
We had a nice break, plenty of beach walking and meals together. I had hoped we might have connected a bit more and talked. I said to him last night that the only thing we passionately talk about is food and meals. I dont know what I expected but I feel like we dont talk about our feelings or what we are truly thinking. I know it's my fault for being so closed a lot of the time. I guess it's going to take some work.
But yeah, it was nice, I slept well and ate well, i felt relaxed and safe.
I think that it is like that for a lot of couples. It's hard when there are so many other things going on to find that time and space. I know it's something that Marc and I need to work on too..
Well done teens!
I love that you felt safe and relaxed.
Strugglingmum
27-07-20, 09:49 PM
My 18 year old daughter curled up beside me in her pjs, wrapped in her fleece blanket, head on my lap and went to sleep.
It's hard to believe that this same girl pushed me away and shunned me for the past few years because she couldn't cope with me being sick and not being the mum she always knew.
I've really noticed over the past few months she seems to love me again. I'm in tears.
Jaquaia
28-07-20, 08:09 AM
That's lovely!
That’s wonderful to hear! (Though she always loved you - she just needed to find her way through)
Exactly as Paula says - she's always loved you.
How are you today gorgeous?
Strugglingmum
28-07-20, 10:51 AM
I'm up and moving. First load in the machine. I'm distracting a bit as I've a bit of post-holiday blues.
Just the daughter and I today. A is away to the golf course and C is away to meet his girlfriend.
Plenty of washing and unpacking to do and my daughter wants help to lay out her next patchwork project and decide placement of the different patterns.
Want to go for a walk later on the beach too. Weather is a bit changeable but if I can walk in the rain on holidays, I can do it here too. Have to change my mindset about that, I've let the rain keep me in too much when I know getting to the beach relaxes me so much. Why is it that the hardest things to do are the things that we know do us the most good?
I'm under strict instructions from A to keep eating too. I've had yoghurt, blueberries, melon and an apple so far today so I'm doing good.
Can you and I do something lovely together after you've worked out the patchwork project? What about going to the beach together?
Strugglingmum
28-07-20, 12:04 PM
We made popcorn....and are watching Sister Act (rofl)
Jaquaia
28-07-20, 12:05 PM
Love Sister Act!!!
That sounds perfect - as long as you're singing along!
Sounds like the perfect afternoon :)
Hi SM! You've been a busy bunny haven't you? Yes, coming back from a few days away is always spirit lowering isn't it? I think we're on so much of a 'high' at the thought of a bit of adventure and somewhere new that sometimes we drop like a brick when it's all over and we're back to everyday life again...well I feel like that anyway! Funnily enough I watched Sister Act again a few weeks ago and I love it..but then I could watch Whoopie Goldberg all day long. I'd have to forego the popcorn though as I can't seem to get rid of it in my mouth!! It's like polystyrene with a nut in the middle, but the kids loved it and so do my grandkids so it must be me! Look forward to chatting again with you and thanks for welcoming me back. Much appreciated. xxx
Strugglingmum
28-07-20, 08:36 PM
Well I just booked my daughter and I, 2 nights away next week in a B&B back up the North Coast. Really looking forward to being away with my wee buddy. Didn't even check the bank account first... just booked it. She loves walking beaches as much as I do so I'm very excited to just walk and chill. Yeah!!
Of course I cant afford to keep booking nights away so I will have to make the most of it. (rofl)
Strugglingmum
31-07-20, 01:09 PM
Bought a waffle maker.... have to say, they were amazing. I will never buy waffles again!! Mix up a batter and just pour.
C had his with nutella and cream but my daughter and I had melted cheese and bacon on them. I have therefore eaten 2 meals today....... I'm on track!!
I put on a lb this week with all the eating out and regular meals with A on holiday. CPN will be happy.
Ooooo yum that sounds good :)
Oooooh! Waffles!!! Slurrrrp! You devil you!(devil)
Strugglingmum
31-07-20, 06:19 PM
Oooooh! Waffles!!! Slurrrrp! You devil you!(devil)
Oh Flo they were amazing!! Cant wait to try different recipes and see what works best.
OO that sounds delicious! :)
Oh Flo they were amazing!! Cant wait to try different recipes and see what works best.Can I be quality control???(nod)(hi)
Strugglingmum
01-08-20, 11:54 AM
Can I be quality control???(nod)(hi)
You'll need to fight off the 2 teenagers and the 50ager in this house (who is the biggest child!)
My daughter had the last one this morning with melted marshmallow, nutella and strawberries. Oh to be 18 again(rofl)
OMG....she's scoffed the last one???! There's only one thing for it.....make more!!(hedgehog)(hedgehog)
Strugglingmum
01-08-20, 02:03 PM
OMG....she's scoffed the last one???! There's only one thing for it.....make more!!(hedgehog)(hedgehog)
(rofl) too dangerous
Strugglingmum
03-08-20, 10:47 PM
Heading away tomorrow with my daughter for a few days break. The weather forecast is rain, rain, rain but its Ireland, it's what we do best. Coats and hiking boots packed.
Sounds fun! Have a great time!
Strugglingmum
06-08-20, 06:27 PM
Hi everyone. Just home from our break away. I had the best time with my girl. (inlove) We did loads, saw loads, laughed loads and made so many memories. We went sea kayaking and even got to kayak into a cave. (hedgehog)
We walked in the wind and rain on our favourite beaches and ate lovely meals together but most of all we just relished each others company.
Spending time away with A and then my daughter I feel refreshed, energised and with a recharged will to keep battling and get well again. Ready to keep working hard. It's only seeing how I feel now that I can realise how flat i was and not really engaging with the hard work it takes to get well.
I love sharing happy things but mostly I'm writing this here so I can look back and remember how good I feel right now and that there are times I feel happy. It's important for the hard low times.
Looking forward to catching up with everyone
That is such a wonderful post!
Strugglingmum
08-08-20, 05:34 PM
Feeling a little blue this evening. I found out that one of the guys I work with in the kitchen at the training centre was found dead in his flat yesterday. Such a friendly guy and loved a chat and a laugh.
So sad to think of him alone.
Is it selfish to say that it has made me more determined that that will not be my story? Only a short time ago that could easily have been me taking a OD and I was taking them. No more! I want to beat this.
You’re allowed to feel blue about something like that. I am so glad, though, that you’ve seen what could have been and not wanted that for yourself (bear)
Stella180
08-08-20, 07:14 PM
With your determination and fighting spirit you will get there without a doubt.
I'm so sorry lovely, things like that are always a shock and a bolt... I'm so glad you're using it to be a positive thing for you though. You are so strong, you can do this, I know you can. I believe in you.
I dont think its selfish at all. I think its something great to take away from this sad situation. Its always sad to see something like this happen. But it can also act like a mirror where we see our own life. You have a lot going for you and looking at where you came from, the struggle and hardship. I am sure its good to look ahead and see better times
Strugglingmum
10-08-20, 05:20 PM
Was absolutely delighted today to get back to the swimming pool!! It just opened today and it was fab to stretch out in the water.
You have to pre book a 45 min session and all the safety precautions were in place. I was really lucky as I was the only one booked for my session so had the entire pool to myself.
It doesn't get better than that does it? Glad you had a good time.
I’m very envious! Mine isn’t open til next month. Glad you enjoyed it :)
Our Nuffield opened last week and the sessions are 40 minutes long. It definitely helps to clear the head
Strugglingmum
10-08-20, 08:04 PM
Thanks everyone. Paula, hope you manage to get along when it opens.
EJ I love my swimming and yes it is my best tool for clearing my head. I have missed it alot over lockdown. I quite often feel trapped and unable to breathe due to my PTSD but swimming creates a space in my chest and abdomen that allows me to breathe deeply.
Our local one isn't open yet properly either...
Strugglingmum
10-08-20, 11:50 PM
Uurrggghhhhh. Feeling the overuse of muscles. Heading to bed to find a cool bit of sheet and then toss every 10secs until fully cooked. See ya all tomorrow
Strugglingmum
11-08-20, 12:07 PM
I slept ok.....woke a few times overheating. I've been to the big town to do my shopping. Home now, early (v early) lunch and I actually am going to take a nap ...or at least put my feet up. I feel wiped out everytime I have to shop and have hit a bit of a wall.
Strugglingmum
11-08-20, 05:13 PM
Got a surprise call and heading out for coffee this evening with 3 friends. Haven't seen them since lockdown so will be lovely. Feeling a little guilty that I haven't been in touch with them over covid,but you know.... it works both ways. We are meeting up now and that's all that matters.... theirs a chance I may even do make-up!!!!
Stella180
11-08-20, 05:30 PM
You’re going out out? Awesome. Hope you have a lovely time catching up.
Sounds fun have a great time!
OOO Out out! Have fun! :)
Strugglingmum
12-08-20, 08:47 AM
Ooo I'm tired today!! I didn't get in until nearly 1am as I was waiting on my son finishing work. Had a lovely time out with my friends and talked the leg of the stool...... I'm surprised there are any legs left on any of their stools. I have a swim booked later so need to get myself moving.
I am going to start a new thread later, this one is really too long. I've been meaning to for a few weeks but haven't got round to it.... today's the day!!
Jaquaia
12-08-20, 09:20 AM
You can practice locking threads ;)
Strugglingmum
12-08-20, 09:31 AM
That could be dangerous(giggle)
I'm going to have to fire my laptop up so I can see what I'm doing!!(rofl)
Ooooh! A swim!.....lurvely! I went to Tesco at 7am this morning..registered 20deg in the car....when I headed back home it was 24deg! another scorcher! I'm doing bu***r all today ...just going to keep myself cool. Have a nice swim.
Strugglingmum
12-08-20, 09:19 PM
I've started a new thread as this one is quite long.
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