Hello im new and messed up

[TCEE]

Hello, i find myself struggling
At a young age i was jumped by a gang , had my jaw broke in 3 places and the mental issue came, i developed anxiety, depression, ptsd, short term memory loss and paranoia, i find myself at the stage where i ruin everything i touch and ruin relationships with everyone due to speaking before i think, i want to try harder and work on my problems but feel like i end up back at the start, i beat myself up over everything negative that i do or say, sadly my girlfriend has to oit up with everything and although she says shes more than happy to help i feel a burden and a factor that adds to her depression and anxiety when all i want is to make her happy and full of love and life , i really want to work on things but dont know where to start and find it hard talking to certain people

[Suzi]

Hi and welcome to DWD. You will never be judged here. Everyone here has their own experiences of depression and mental health illness - either through their own experiences or those of a loved one.
I know you personally, so my reply will be more personalised....
I am more than sure that your girlfriend doesn't feel that you are a burden to her at all. You need to talk to her, be honest with her and tell her what's in your head - she won't judge you, she will just hold you closer and help you through it. She adores you just as much as you adore her. You both have your own issues and the only way you can get through things together is to keep talking to each other.

I think it might be an idea to keep an accurate mood diary and to see how things genuinely are and then maybe think about speaking to your Dr?

By the way, it's good to see you here... You're a great guy.

[TCEE]

Thank you very much, i feel that my problem may be in the fact im not to knowledgeable in my illnesses , growing up
In a family where you are expected to be strong and not aloud to feel down never enabled me to learn how to deal with things and what causes what

[Paula]

Hi and welcome (hi). The biggest part of being in a relationship is that you’re in it together. And it sounds to me that’s exactly what you are. So please, please keep talking and trusting each other

[Suzi]

Paula's right. You two make a great couple. The way that you look at each other shows anyone how much you love each other.
Paula's also written some brilliant factsheets on different mental health illness which are worth a read. But you can ask pretty much anything here and someone will be along to help..

[Jaquaia]

Hi and welcome. The biggest thing is to communicate. My partner also has severe depression so we find we need to talk to each other all the more as we both try and protect the other when we're struggling. It never works as we can read each other like a book but we do it anyway.

Do you have any support other than your gf? From your gp or counselling?

[TCEE]

Thank you all so much , im going to continue working on myself and my relationship, sadly i only have my girlfriend to talk to as my parents are narrow minded and i find it hard to talk to gps and counsellors

[OldMike]

Hi TCEE welcome to DWD :)

[Mira]

Hi and welcome. I know how it feels to be a burden to certain people. But it seems like she wants to help. Try and believe that if you can. I am sure you would do the same for her and that would not be a burden on you I assume?

And this forum is also a safe warm place to talk and write about how you feel. Its not a substitute for proffesional help but it can be a place to feel accepted.

[Miss Molly]

Hi TCEE, welcome to this lovely place.(nod)

[Paula]

Thank you all so much , im going to continue working on myself and my relationship, sadly i only have my girlfriend to talk to as my parents are narrow minded and i find it hard to talk to gps and counsellors

Well, in that we can really help (bear)

[Angie]

Hi and welcome x

[Suzi]

We can help, and will do all we can to help. You could take her with you to the Drs at a later stage if you wanted to..... Or write a bullet point list of things that you need them to know.