New here/don't understand what I am feeling

[telltheking]

Hi all. This is my first post here. I have been feeling very strange for months now but more acutely recently. I feel low, unmotivated, burned out, like nothing matters and want to stay in bed all day. I have also been sleeping a lot but quite badly and using alcohol to an extent to cope. I have had anxiety for years, and that is present, but not as much as the above feelings.

I wonder if it is stress related. I do a very busy job as a teacher and also do additional writing work I often over commit myself and can get very stressed around deadlines. HOWEVER, this job has finished now and I do not have an income. Whilst I have some savings and potential opportunities, I suppose the uncertainty isn't helping. Am I just burned out through overworking over quite some time now?

I have also recently received some news about my adoption, which I have always known about, but which deeply affected me. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it despite for most of my life not really caring. I often feel quite lonely and isolated even though lots of people around me love me. I at times feel guilty for being like this. Could this have been a trigger for the feelings?

I am not taking any meds but am looking into psychotherapy. I have done CBT before but didn't feel like this helped much.

Thanks all

[Suzi]

Hi and welcome to DWD! It's great you've found your way here. Are you eating and drinking sensibly? What about getting any exercise? Do you have a good support network around you? Have you been to see your Dr and told them how you are feeling?

Sorry, loads of questions! :)

[telltheking]

Hi and welcome to DWD! It's great you've found your way here. Are you eating and drinking sensibly? What about getting any exercise? Do you have a good support network around you? Have you been to see your Dr and told them how you are feeling?

Sorry, loads of questions! :)

Thanks for the reply suzi.

I have been on holiday recently where I drank far too much which probably explains why I feel worse. I would say I eat OK, but I probably don't eat as much as I should (because I am vain and worried about weight gain). I do not do much formal excercise but cycle a lot through london for work. I am going to try and get back into the gym starting tomorrow.

I haven't seen the doctor. I am very unsure about taking meds and I am sure they will offer them. Either that or they will refer me to NHS therapy which in my experience is incredibly long winded and not very helpful....

[Mira]

Hello and welcome here. This is a friendly place where people can speak about things that might not be so easy anywhere else. A lot of people will understand how these things make you feel and how this can take a hold of you.

Alcohol is bad for me too. It is real good at making me feel worse too.

I wanted to ask, if taking meds is making you feel unsure. And NHS therapy has not been a good experience. What do you think would be a good fit in helping you? I remember that I had to see a few different therapists before I felt at ease and in a safe place (I am not in the UK). I have given up a few times. But after getting worse and worse I did feel the need to keep trying.

[Jaquaia]

Hi and welcome. What's making you unsure about meds?
Sometimes the success of therapy depends on the relationship you build with the therapist. If you don't feel comfortable it won't work as well.

Mind can be an excellent resource.

[telltheking]

Thanks Mira. I have got my first therapy appointment tomorrow. I am hoping talking through things will be helpful although I don't even know where to begin in terms of what to discuss - I feel like I have so many issues.

I think changing my lifestyle a bit to be more of a routine, cutting out bad habits and exercising and eating better will help me a lot.

[OldMike]

Hi and welcome to DWD, I personally wouldn't totally rule out medication, see how your therapy session goes tomorrow and take it from there.

[Suzi]

Can I ask why you are so against meds?

[Paula]

Hi and welcome (hi)

[telltheking]

Hi and welcome to DWD, I personally wouldn't totally rule out medication, see how your therapy session goes tomorrow and take it from there.

I think I just worry about the side-effects and also do consider my depression severe enough to need them yet. I am not going to rule them out but hopefully someone with experience could explain the benefits to me..

[Suzi]

It's not an exact science, so it sometimes takes a bit of a go to see which one suits you best, and yes some do have more side effects than others - but a lot of that is down to whether it suits you or not.
Medication has saved my husband. I know that. He'd never have been able to get through 2 breakdowns and years of depression, anxiety and panic attacks or through therapy without it. It's not for everyone, and I'd never push you into it, but sometimes it's worth the try...

[Strugglingmum]

Hi there. You have found a great place for support. Hope your first session goes well. Just try and be as honest and open as you can. I know how you feel about meds I was the same but to be honest I have needed them to help me. I don't like having to take them but I have seen benefits too. I have had to try a few different ones to get the right mix but it is possible