View Full Version : Selena on the Way to Wonderland *SH TRIGGERS*
I’m glad you’ve been able to see that this was not the right relationship for you. And, love, we all learn from mistakes - you could have been hurt more deeply from this one, and I am so grateful you weren’t.
I totally agree with Paula.
Has anyone had such situations when a friend turned to a church with radical views like Westboro?
My best local friend suddenly turned this way and I cannot recognize her anymore, she has been sending me daily links, quarreling with parents that she is right!
Deeply inside, she is such a good person. It affected me a little and I will never convert.
Her voice seems troubled. Myself being anxious, I don't know how to cope better.
Oh hunni, I hope that it's "just a phase" as some of those views I personally find abhorrent.
Is this a new conversion?
She is really a kind person by her nature, donated blood for my mom and others, helped me in hard times by being by my side.
She has always been a bit unusual. Yes, always believed in God. I can get her parents' reaction, she being their only child.
But some time ago I noticed something but cannot grasp what happened.
She is 25, like a little sister to me, always being protective of the people she loves and cares about and not only. When I was going to Paris, she was really worried for me and was sure that the guy was wrong.
Today I have sent link to a song, but she said it is a sin to listen to music, even not all classical music being admitted. I was shocked, I did not care about the links she sent to me, seeing them just as something she read and wanted to share.
Such a joyful and peaceful person, she was not baptized, but the family traditionally celebrated Christian holidays.
I was shocked when I heard her troubled voice, trying even to convince me to come there. I do not need it...Now nearly everything has become a sin: listening to music besides the church's admitted songs, watching movies...passing to wear traditional long skirts. She told she is happy of never getting to any dates, because she wants a man with strong and deep faith.
I do not know how to behave, just willing to tell her I am by her side anyway, although I am anxious when she tries to convert me or make come there.
Her parents are very worried about her, especially mother. She told me her mom wants her to be like everybody else. I tried to convince her to be milder with her parents, but she told me: "There are sin things on TV, they can judge someone, I cannot be hypocrite for my Lord and any Christian should be ready for God's coming."
I gave her a present she has always dreamt of - a book about Ingrid Bergman. She told me she will probably read it, if it is not a sin, reading most of literature can also be a sin.
She told me she is happy on this path, but she seems troubled.
I don't know much, I respect her, but these views in my opinion are not healthy, but she interprets everything in her way, stating that this is true.
I don't have energy or desire to argue with her, it seems so sad losing a friend, I mean it is hard now.
I don’t have any experience like that, but I do have a husband and 2 children who don’t share my faith. All I can say is that - as long as it doesn’t impact your faith - you should love her, pray for her and let her know you will always be her friend
Why is it a sin to listen to music? What about hymns/sacred music?
I agree with Paula. But, I think you should be honest and tell her that you feel that she is trying to pressurise you to convert to her path... Stay on your path, pray etc Tell her you want to be her friend...
I am not sure about hymns, but her church's sacred music is surely admitted, the others' is proobably discussable.
For me, I struggle with that. Yes of course there is music which is purely secular, but I don't see them as being against God..
With my friend we managed to keep our communication alive.
But something made me feel upset. The man I was supposed to see in Paris in 2020 messaged me and wrote: " We had got along so well, if not corona, you would have been my wife".
I communicate with the other men, but this saddened me so much.
He lives with another woman, but told me if I come to Paris, we can meet. But I see it as pointless.
His phrase about "if not corona..." nearly killed me. So it is about destiny or he is completely not right?
Stella180
14-06-21, 06:39 PM
Don’t listen to that crap! You barely know this person so for him to say something like that is rubbish. Don’t look back, look forward.
That sounds so manipulative to me. Ignore it. Block him!
Woah! Run away from him! What an absolute twat! There was no reason for the communication etc to stop because of Corona!
Hunni, definitely have nothing to do with him...
It is what I have done, blocked him.
But before this, after he had suggested romantic feelings for me, I just asked him what are his feelings for the woman he lives with. Then it is not about love, but convenience.
He replied that actually the most important is the goal and convenience in possible future union and it does not matter if he has no feelings for her.
Stella180
15-06-21, 06:35 PM
He sounds like a player. Uses women for what he wants. You deserve better than that.
You do deserve much, much better than that. Stella is right.
OldMike
16-06-21, 12:55 PM
That guy sounds manipulative best to avoid him like the plague.
I can say now I am not angry with him anymore.
He did well that he told the truth about not being alone, but I told him this kind of meeting is not good at all. And I will feel horrible going to meet him and knowing the other woman is waiting for him home. I just told him he is not single and that is the end of discussion.
I am so glad that my best friend has not changed her general kind way of being, despite following more strict religious path.
And that she did not judge me for being affected by depression like the others would have done.
Anyone who judges you isn't worth your time love.
I am saddened to see my best local friend removed her Facebook account, but I respect her will and she respects I guess my views too...
Her argument is Facebook and any social accounts are against God and are temptations....She unwillingly has recognized that her church teaches that reading, watching movies or documentaries, listening to nearly any kind of music and having social accounts is a sin....
However, it is not a sin to use her free-of-charge services and help....
2020 and even 2021 was hard for mental health and destroyed many nice moments...
From my sad experience, trying hard to change someone's mind is useless, she/he will do what they want or consider right. So I have just decided to stay by her side, because she is so nice and kind person on all levels....
I'm sorry that your friend is believing all that.
I can understand you standing by her because she is your friend. That's kind.
I see that it seems like a sectarian indoctrination. And I can only imagine her mother's feelings, who is absolutely fine with living life in modern conditions and my friend being the only child.
All you can do is be there for her and help her to see things more realistically...
I have passed through a pretty horrible half period of August. But the things have been sorted out or almost. All this and loneliness certainly had a bad impact on my mental health.
I am going on holiday by the end of September. My dad has been trying to convince me coming there promising that he will sleep in his mother's room during my visit and will offer his room to me.
However, this trip will be certainly a bit expensive, taking into consideration restrictions and tests. And people knowing the situation do not recommend it, because I can get stuck there and who knows the way his mood turns.
So, where else do you think you might like to go?
Why was half of August so hard love?
Do you really think that going to your father is a good idea? Do you WANT to go? Or are you thinking about it because you think you should because he is your father? Do you trust him to allow you to come home or do you think he will try to get you to stay?
First of all, it was water leak in my apartment with major damages, then my boss's pressure and finally minor knee injury. Then this grieving mood before September - the month of death of closest persons.
I think I will just have a rest here in my place because the cases of infection are rising again.
No, I don't think so and deeply inside I think he hopes for a carer to his mom. But in the moments of despair and loneliness, I think I start imagining different things.
I don't think he will put obstacles, but if the borders will be closed, I don't think he will help me to get back home.
Oh my, you've had a lot of horrible things. How bad is the damage? What happened with your boss and what have you done to your knee?
I think going to his doesn't sound like something you actually want to do love. Don't be pressured. It's your life hunni...
The neighbor partially paid the damages, him being bankrupt, this makes impossible complete payment. There are some damages needing repairing, like painting or ceiling reconstruction in one room.
As for me, I have been lucky not to have any serious injury, just falling from not recontructed stairs and then the doctor saw it and said it will probably be soon fine, not needing any additional procedures. On that day, my friend came immediately to see me. Someone told me that I should try to change her strict religious views. But I see no point as far as she is such an amazing person and kindness being her main feature generally, not only with me.
MY boss found my diary (just certain pages after my mom's death) and said that this is such a shame and any connection to depression should be hidden, because in her view respectful people and those with BA, MA cannot be depressed! She wondered how I could have been affected . I don't understand her, because I do my job and that is the most important.
Are you able to get help with the ceiling reconstruction?
You fell down the stairs? Ouch! Glad it's not something needing additional procedures lovely.
Glad your friend came to see you. With regard to her religious views, sweetheart she seems to be kind and if you challenge her too much you could lose her as a friend. I've always said that as long as people don't push their religion on me then it's up to them what they choose to believe in.
What on earth was she doing reading your diary???? That's unforgivable! Hunni, you know that depression doesn't only pick certain people, it doesn't discriminate at all. Your boss is talking crap.
It is a hard work, but little by little it will be done.
Yes, I usually take everything with myself, and yes, my boss is not right here at all.It just hurt me so much.
Maybe leaving your diary at home might be a better plan for the future? Although she was totally out of order reading it.
How's your knee now?
It was an old diary actually, yes, and sometimes I wrote something being in the park, but from now on I guess I will keep the diary with any sensitive issues at home.
Thank you, it is better.
Glad your knee is better.
You shouldn’t have to feel you need to leave your diary at home - she’s an appalling woman!
Her words were so cruel when she told me that educated people should not be related to depression and that this is "a habit".
It's rubbish...
Sweetheart can you start a new thread please, this one is over 100 pages long now. Thank you.
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