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Paula
01-01-19, 04:01 PM
New year so I thought a new thread was in order. I don’t really normally hold much stock with ‘New Year’ but as 2018 was a bit of a challenge, this seems as good time as any to sit back and breathe ..... My bible study today reminded me to put my hopes and dreams, and worries, in God’s hands so I’m going to try really hard this year to do that.

Thank you all for all the support and love you’ve shown me in the past year - I couldn’t have done it without you (Kiss)

Jaquaia
01-01-19, 04:13 PM
Of course you could have! You're an amazingly strong woman, it's just that support makes it that little bit easier (panda)

EJ
01-01-19, 05:15 PM
Happy New Year Paula. I hope that 2019 brings you much happiness xx

magie06
01-01-19, 05:48 PM
I really hope that you find this year easier and happier than last year was. I'm keeping you in my prayers.

Suzi
01-01-19, 06:31 PM
Pfft you'd have done it without us, but it's more fun doing things together!

May 2019 be easier for you lovely....

Paula
01-01-19, 07:53 PM
Thanks, guys ;)

OldMike
02-01-19, 03:50 PM
As your avatar says "Keep Calm and Sparkle On" which you do admirably, here's wishing you an easier year, cheers (tea) <-- imagine this smiley is glass of wine or a gin and tonic ;)

Suzi
02-01-19, 06:03 PM
How are you today love?

Paula
02-01-19, 06:53 PM
Tired but I needed to do some housework - I managed cleaning Katie’s bathroom, hoovering and washing the kitchen and living room floors, and hoovering the downstairs hall. Si came home early to take Jess out for a driving lesson - she’s got her practical test on Friday. It means he’s here when the shopping turns up, which will help big time.

Other than that, I intended to do some cross stitch but it didn’t happen. Tomorrow I’m seeing my friend, having my nails done and seeing mum and dad as they’re in the area for a hospital appointment. Oh, and nagging Jess to do her college work ;)

Angie
02-01-19, 07:09 PM
Please try and pace hunni xx

Suzi
02-01-19, 10:45 PM
Pace love, please?

Paula
02-01-19, 11:33 PM
So, I got my dates wrong re when my cleaner was returning from hols and she’s back tomorrow. Which is fantastic but I do feel a bit annoyed with myself as I could have sat down for a bit instead of trying to clean .... I will say, though, if it ever comes to a choice between Si and Mariola, my marriage vows might be challenged ;)

Jaquaia
02-01-19, 11:53 PM
J's cleaner is called Sandra. A misheard. So now Santa cleans his house! (giggle)

Suzi
03-01-19, 11:11 AM
Oh oops!

Paula
03-01-19, 08:46 PM
So...... today went like this. My friend arrived for a coffee at 10.30. At 12.30 I told her I needed to eat, she didn’t want lunch. At 1.30 the dog walker turned up and at 1.45 my parents dropped in on their way to a hospital appointment. 5 minutes before my parents had to go, my friend left (at 2.30). A few minutes later was my nail appointment, which lasted twice as long as normal as the gels wouldn’t set. I finally had a quiet house at 4.30. I know all these things were good but I’m knackered ....

Angie
03-01-19, 09:38 PM
Crikey busy day

Jaquaia
03-01-19, 09:53 PM
How is tomorrow looking? Chance to rest I hope?

Strugglingmum
03-01-19, 10:34 PM
So...... today went like this. My friend arrived for a coffee at 10.30. At 12.30 I told her I needed to eat, she didn’t want lunch. At 1.30 the dog walker turned up and at 1.45 my parents dropped in on their way to a hospital appointment. 5 minutes before my parents had to go, my friend left (at 2.30). A few minutes later was my nail appointment, which lasted twice as long as normal as the gels wouldn’t set. I finally had a quiet house at 4.30. I know all these things were good but I’m knackered ....

Just thinking of all that is tiring me!! Sounds like you need a quiet one. (panda)

Suzi
03-01-19, 10:40 PM
Nothing like packing it in is there? Sounds exhausting!

Paula
03-01-19, 10:56 PM
Tomorrow, I’m working.

Jaquaia
03-01-19, 10:56 PM
Bloody hell woman!!! You're a masochist!!! Saturday???

Paula
03-01-19, 10:58 PM
Saturdays free. Sunday’s my birthday and I’ve insisted I don’t want to go out anywhere.

Strugglingmum
03-01-19, 11:04 PM
Saturdays free. Sunday’s my birthday and I’ve insisted I don’t want to go out anywhere.

Awk. I'm a January baby too. . Happy birthday for Sunday in case I forget. (party)(bear)

Jaquaia
03-01-19, 11:15 PM
I hope you've insisted on cake of some description though? ;)

Paula
03-01-19, 11:27 PM
Nope. I’ve insisted we don’t have cake. We’ve got tons of chocolate left from Christmas, most of Katie’s birthday cake and I’m on a diet ;)

Jaquaia
03-01-19, 11:32 PM
You're a stronger woman then I am!!!

OldMike
04-01-19, 12:44 AM
Awk. I'm a January baby too. . Happy birthday for Sunday in case I forget. (party)(bear)

Me too all the best people are born in January ;)

How can you have a birthday without cake ;)

Paula
04-01-19, 09:04 AM
We’ve got cake, Mike, it’s just not my cake ;)

I’m usually over excited about my birthday but am really struggling this year - it just feels like yet more effort I don’t have the energy for.

Jaquaia
04-01-19, 10:10 AM
It's your birthday, you do what you want. If that's vegging out on the sofa doing nothing then it's your birthday!

Suzi
04-01-19, 10:34 AM
Sorry you're struggling lovely.... But Jaq is right. Definitely down to you what you want to do/not do.

Paula
04-01-19, 01:17 PM
Jess passed her driving test!! And she allowed me to hug her!!!

Jaquaia
04-01-19, 01:39 PM
Woohoo!!! (party)

Paula
04-01-19, 05:57 PM
She drove me to work - I can get used to that ;) I’m so proud of her particularly because she does struggle when she’s stressed and nervous. The inspector said he’d expected to fail her after the first 10 minutes but she settled down and changed his mind!

And I had a good day at work as I managed to finish a job that was somewhat of a challenge and took me a few shifts. So all in all a good day.

Strugglingmum
04-01-19, 06:13 PM
Oooh. Having my daughter who holds me at arms length I am definitely more excited about the hug!!!
Well done Jess. So much to be proud if Momma Bear. X

Angie
04-01-19, 09:49 PM
Well done Jess you can have your own chauffeur now lol, and glad today went well at work hunni

Suzi
04-01-19, 10:02 PM
So brilliant on every count!

magie06
04-01-19, 10:46 PM
Jess must be delighted with herself! I didn't pass on my first try, she must be a very good driver. Of course if she takes after her mum, she's brilliant at everything. If your birthday is on Sunday and you don't want to do anything, then you have my permission to do absolutely nothing!! ;)
I'm really not surprised that you don't want to do anything because you've been on the go since I came back here. You haven't stopped and that is bound to have an effect on your stamina and mood. Take it easy and relax.

Paula
05-01-19, 08:11 AM
I opened my post yesterday evening, only to find I’ve got to have a face to face assessment for my ESA WCA. To say i freaked out has to be an understatement .....

Suzi
05-01-19, 11:53 AM
Logically you can't do anything about it now, so try to put it to the back of your mind. All you can do is go and answer as honestly as possible. Actually the actual f2f aren't that bad. I've been to loads now ;) Make sure you call and make them aware that you need space to put your foot up/mobility scooter access.

Strugglingmum
05-01-19, 12:34 PM
I opened my post yesterday evening, only to find I’ve got to have a face to face assessment for my ESA WCA. To say i freaked out has to be an understatement .....

I totally get that. X(panda)

OldMike
05-01-19, 03:29 PM
(bear) (panda)

Paula
05-01-19, 09:58 PM
Logically you can't do anything about it now, so try to put it to the back of your mind. All you can do is go and answer as honestly as possible. Actually the actual f2f aren't that bad. I've been to loads now ;) Make sure you call and make them aware that you need space to put your foot up/mobility scooter access.

Yeah, I’m going to call Monday re accessibility and also tell them my minute taking app will be recording .... My boss/friend is also going to write a note to explain the changes to the role description she’s had to make to keep me safe at work, and keep OH happy

Suzi
05-01-19, 10:16 PM
They will say that you aren't allowed to use your own recording devices. If you want it recorded then they have to provide it - 2 CD's

I'm happy to write you something too about how things affect you from what I see if you want?

Paula
05-01-19, 11:21 PM
Thank you but I’ve still got your comments from the questionnaire :)

Suzi
06-01-19, 01:02 PM
Awesome ;) Shout if you want/need anything....

Paula
07-01-19, 11:51 AM
I’ve rung about my assessment. They’re so flexible - not. I can only have a home assessment if my doctor writes to say I cannot leave the house at all. The centre is accessible physically however I asked about a quiet space I can sit in while waiting to help with my anxiety but got told ‘I’ll ask, but if they haven’t got anywhere, there’s nothing they can do’. I also asked if I could use my (professional standard) minute taking app to record the assessment. Apparently I can, if I can give them a hard copy transcript immediately after the assessment .......

Suzi
07-01-19, 01:07 PM
(hugs) Am currently doing a MR for Marc and it sucks. Half of what he said he's been scored 0 on..... So much harder than it needs to be.

You have every sympathy... Did you ask for them to record it?

Mira
07-01-19, 02:20 PM
Well that..... I hope they do have a place for you to wait so that can help a little. Its a shame that they always say oh if there is anything we can do to help just ask. And then when you ask its an inconvenience to say the least.

Paula
07-01-19, 02:41 PM
You have every sympathy... Did you ask for them to record it?

I did, and was told that he would pass the info on but they can’t guarantee on the day

Suzi
07-01-19, 07:59 PM
What does Si say about it all?

Paula
07-01-19, 08:29 PM
That we’ll cope ;)

Suzi
08-01-19, 08:53 AM
He's right, you will...

Strugglingmum
08-01-19, 01:51 PM
(panda)

Paula
08-01-19, 02:54 PM
Eurgh, had my dentist appointment. The good news is there is a dental problem causing the pain and it’s not CRPS. The bad news is my bridge/crowns etc aren’t fitting properly anymore and it’s exposing stuff that doesn’t want to be exposed. Which means having it all replaced (£3k gulp) and means getting it done might cause problems with CRPS. So I’m going to do some research for the dentist on CRPS and dentistry, and go from there.

Jaquaia
08-01-19, 03:30 PM
Ouch!!!

Suzi
08-01-19, 03:36 PM
Ewwww..... Sorry love...

Paula
08-01-19, 04:01 PM
He’s suggested he might prescribe Valium - whether for me for the procedure or for Si when he gets the bills I’m not sure ;)

Strugglingmum
08-01-19, 04:21 PM
Eeeeeeks!!!! (To both the procedure and the cost)

Angie
08-01-19, 05:32 PM
(bear)

Paula
08-01-19, 06:38 PM
I’ve just told Si. Bless him, he managed to stay upright (rofl).

He’s having a bad day - a young guy offered him his seat on the train (rofl)(rofl)

Mira
08-01-19, 07:47 PM
Sending a berenknuffel (bear)

Strugglingmum
08-01-19, 08:29 PM
I’ve just told Si. Bless him, he managed to stay upright (rofl).

He’s having a bad day - a young guy offered him his seat on the train (rofl)(rofl)

(rofl)(rofl) poor Si.

Suzi
08-01-19, 08:51 PM
I’ve just told Si. Bless him, he managed to stay upright (rofl).

He’s having a bad day - a young guy offered him his seat on the train (rofl)(rofl)
(rofl)(rofl)(rofl)Poor Si!

OldMike
09-01-19, 12:24 PM
Hey if anyone offers me a seat I'll take it ;)

Suzi
09-01-19, 01:13 PM
How are you lovely?

Paula
09-01-19, 05:13 PM
I’m good, I’ve had lunch with my bf (and been spoilt again as got lots of pressies ;)). She also suffers with CRPS so I can never pretend with her, mind you lol

Suzi
09-01-19, 09:47 PM
I'm glad you've had some good time out. You deserve it!

Suzi
10-01-19, 10:15 AM
I was searching for my vid of the day for Mike and I came across this and no idea why, but it made me think of you... Enjoy...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VT3RzRjuI0

Paula
10-01-19, 02:25 PM
Oh myyyyyyyy. Well, obviously you thought of me - he definitely shares a certain grace and elegance with me ;)

Suzi
10-01-19, 02:35 PM
Yup ;) That's it exactly......

Paula
12-01-19, 09:19 PM
I’ve been mega irritable today and coupled with my arm and hand being tingling, numb and painful all at once (impossible, right?) I warned my family to keep well clear, got my head down with cross stitch and binge watched White Princess. I’m feeling a bit calmer now. Doesn’t help that Polo’s ill - he had an upset tummy on Tuesday and it returned with a bang yesterday. Si and I were washing floors after midnight last night as he trod it through the house :(. He’s also got a very tender tummy (and really told Si off when he touched it). Si and Jess are going to the cinema in a minute so I’m hoping Polo won’t be wanting to go outside too often ....

Angie
12-01-19, 09:24 PM
(bear)

Jaquaia
12-01-19, 09:32 PM
(panda)

Strugglingmum
12-01-19, 11:10 PM
(panda)

Allalone
12-01-19, 11:10 PM
(panda)

Paula
13-01-19, 08:34 AM
Polo’s still poorly, Si spent the night on the sofa.... I’m trying not to overly fret about it but after he was so ill last year, and after losing Luna, I’m not succeeding tbh.

Flo
13-01-19, 11:07 AM
Hope Polo is feeling better today. Have you taken his temp.? has he maybe been snaffling something he shouldn't? Foreign object? My Penny - greyhound, scoffed almost a kilo of venison stewing steak that was in a bag in the back of the car when Ian was shopping. She ate the bag and cling film too! Ian had the unenviable job of pulling the bag and clingfilm out a day later! She was extremely lucky as it could have been curtains. How's your hand today love?xx

Suzi
13-01-19, 12:05 PM
Oh no! I hope Polo is feeling a bit better this morning...

Paula
13-01-19, 02:53 PM
Last summer when Polo and Luna were really ill, bloods did show Polo’s pancreas was struggling a bit which was likely a chronic problem. He seems brighter over the last couple of hours but I think I’ll get some bloods done to check on how the pancreas is doing

Jaquaia
13-01-19, 03:03 PM
Sounds like a good idea and will hopefully set your mind to rest (panda)

Allalone
13-01-19, 03:05 PM
(panda)

OldMike
13-01-19, 03:57 PM
(bear) (panda)

Suzi
13-01-19, 09:18 PM
How are you doing love? I know how much you worry...

Paula
13-01-19, 09:36 PM
Polo seems a bit better but I’m still taking him to the vets for a blood test. I’m ok, ta

Suzi
13-01-19, 09:42 PM
Sounds sensible to me. He's one very special and loved puppy dog!

Strugglingmum
13-01-19, 11:21 PM
(panda)
Big hugs fellow mummy of a furbaby. Xx
Hope Polo's blood results come back ok. They really are such a worry but we still adore them. X

Suzi
14-01-19, 09:55 AM
Morning gorgeous, how are you? How is Polo? How are the other team Sparkles members?

Paula
14-01-19, 10:25 AM
I’m better for my quiet weekend, thanks :). Polo is fine (and hungry) but I’ve got an appt this evening for him. The rest of our little team are good, Jess has her first mock today - hopefully she’s revised lol. Today, I’m going to start prep for my ESA Assessment, can’t say I’m looking forward to it mind you but needs must.

Suzi
14-01-19, 10:53 AM
Good luck for the prep work and for Polo...
Hope the mock is kind to Jess. Ben has his at the end of the month...

Paula
14-01-19, 11:31 PM
Polo’s on antibiotics, bless him, and has had bloods taken - they’re going to look at pancreas, kidneys, liver etc just to cover all the bases. He’s probably fine except for an infection but given his age and how poorly he was last year I didn’t want to take any chances. Also, it’s only been a couple of months since we lost Luna, I’m not ready to lose him too so if there is something lingering, best to find out now and get him treatment early.

I’m also a bit miffed at Si. He got cross about the cost of the bloods - yet we’d both decided yesterday we wanted them to be done

I’m shattered. For some reason I was up at 5.45am this morning .....night everybody

Strugglingmum
14-01-19, 11:46 PM
(panda)(bear)

Jaquaia
15-01-19, 12:01 AM
(panda)

Paula
15-01-19, 08:59 AM
Work this afternoon so chilling this morning :)

Suzi
15-01-19, 10:15 AM
Have you and Si talked things through and sorted things out?

Paula
15-01-19, 10:34 AM
Yeah, it’s fine. He’s just a bit more touchy about money at the moment - December and January are always expensive mo this ;)

Suzi
15-01-19, 03:09 PM
(rofl) Aren't they just?!

Paula
15-01-19, 06:44 PM
Sometimes I really hate being right. Polo’s bloods have come back and he’s got kidney disease. Because I insisted on the tests, though ;), we caught it early and can help him with a special diet and stopping his rheumocam meds.

It’s been a long afternoon and I’m really sore. Still, nothing planned for tomorrow so I can rest up

Angie
15-01-19, 07:23 PM
Oh hunni am sorry about Polo hopefully the treatment helps please pace

Suzi
15-01-19, 07:52 PM
Poor Polo!

Paula
16-01-19, 11:44 PM
Had Housegroup tonight - I cried a little bit. I’m so terrified of this assessment on Monday .....

Jaquaia
17-01-19, 09:07 AM
(panda)

Suzi
17-01-19, 09:35 AM
OK, why did you cry at housegroup?

What is it that terrifies you about the assessment? I can talk you through what happens and how it's all done if you want? I've been to loads now as I take me for mine, Marc for his, his Mum for hers..... Oh and always claim back the cost of getting there and home again ;)

Paula
17-01-19, 10:23 AM
I cried because I’ve been holding the tension for 2 weeks now. What terrifies me is a combination of stress over actually getting there and coping with the environment, worry about whether I’m going to answer their questions and, mainly, fear that they’ll call me a fraud ......

magie06
17-01-19, 01:02 PM
You are NOT a fraud! I know it's on your mind but talk about it. We're here to listen.

Suzi
17-01-19, 03:34 PM
You aren't a fraud. I felt like a fraud, but when you start listing the issues you have and looking at what you can't do - instead of what you can and you know deep down that you aren't. If it doesn't go how it should then you put in a MR, then a tribunal... You can do this.

OldMike
17-01-19, 05:50 PM
I can only echo what Suzi and Magie have said, you'll have Si with you to put them straight (bear) (panda)

Strugglingmum
17-01-19, 06:26 PM
I've no words of wisdom but always a hug. X(panda)

Paula
17-01-19, 06:31 PM
I got a text from my boss saying she’s off sick so I can’t work tomorrow - I’m not allowed by occ health to do the shift on my own. That doesn’t make me feel good at all but I suppose I shouldn’t feel like a fraud and useless at the same time, right?

Still, it means I get to see mum and dad

Jaquaia
17-01-19, 07:09 PM
Silver lining (panda)

Suzi
17-01-19, 08:57 PM
I think right now you seeing your parents is more important anyway... You could do with their extra love and support in person right now...

Allalone
17-01-19, 09:48 PM
Sending love and hugs.(panda)

Paula
18-01-19, 10:21 AM
I’ve got a cold and last night had earache which is just one of those things - but I went to bed in my make up, without brushing my teeth and with my earrings in. I don’t think I’ve been that lazy in years!! (rofl)

Strugglingmum
18-01-19, 10:54 AM
Sounds like an awesome day to get bonus time with your parents. x

(panda)

Suzi
18-01-19, 10:59 AM
Then maybe a day with your parentals is exactly what you need?

Allalone
18-01-19, 11:13 AM
Then spending some quality time with your parents is just what you need!
(panda)

magie06
18-01-19, 03:43 PM
I hope you are enjoying your time with your parents.

Paula
18-01-19, 05:53 PM
Then spending some quality time with your parents is just what you need!
(panda)

It really was :) and I’ve had my hair done. Some much needed tlc all round

Suzi
18-01-19, 08:59 PM
Pace this weekend please?

Paula
18-01-19, 09:09 PM
Yes, boss ;)

Flo
19-01-19, 11:36 AM
Ooh! mum and dad are with you? Lovely, you enjoy every minute of it. I really miss my parents.(panda)

Paula
19-01-19, 02:25 PM
Today is 6 years since I had my fall. I’m less upset about it than I expected. Maybe I’m getting over it?

OldMike
19-01-19, 03:37 PM
(bear) (panda)

Suzi
19-01-19, 04:02 PM
I was going to say happy anniversary till I saw what it was for... Maybe you're accepting it?

Paula
19-01-19, 08:39 PM
Possibly, though I’ve had a few tears and a tub of Ben & Jerry’s lol

Strugglingmum
19-01-19, 09:02 PM
Its like Mary Poppins sang
Just a spoonful of Ben and Jerrys helps the bad memories a bit easier to handle. !!
Or something like that anyway. Well done you. Xx(panda)

Suzi
19-01-19, 09:15 PM
I think you are well deserved some ice cream and tears... (panda)(panda)

Paula
20-01-19, 08:02 PM
I’ve been reading all my docs for the assessment tomorrow - I feel sick .....

Jaquaia
20-01-19, 08:22 PM
(panda)

Suzi
20-01-19, 08:45 PM
Stop reading. You need to rest as much as you can as you know your anxiety is going to be high tomorrow. What time is your appointment? Will you text me after and let me know you got out OK? Please? Then you are under orders to rest as much as possible.

Paula
20-01-19, 10:51 PM
I’ve been shaking all evening... appointments at 9 and, yes, I’ll text. Then rest lol

EJ
20-01-19, 11:00 PM
(panda)

Strugglingmum
20-01-19, 11:23 PM
At least you get it over early. xx (Ok I know, not much of a silver lining)
You are going to be ok. You are not a fraud. You are worthy of financial help.
Si is going with you isn't he??
Praying for you. Xx

Strugglingmum
21-01-19, 08:12 AM
(bear)(panda)
Thinking of you. You can do this.
We are all with you in spirit.
You have Si.
You are not a fraud.
You deserve this help.
You are stronger than you believe you are right now.... yes you are!!
I believe you.
I believe in you.
Tears are not a sign of weakness.
Praying for peace that passes all understanding for you today. X

Allalone
21-01-19, 08:42 AM
Thinking of you today Paula.x

Suzi
21-01-19, 09:47 AM
With you in spirit.

I'll let everyone know when I hear anything from Paula x

Jaquaia
21-01-19, 10:07 AM
Thinking of you lovely (panda)

OldMike
21-01-19, 11:13 AM
I’ve been shaking all evening... appointments at 9 and, yes, I’ll text. Then rest lol

Hope all goes well (bear) (panda)

magie06
21-01-19, 11:34 AM
Keeping you in my prayers.

Suzi
21-01-19, 03:10 PM
Sorry guys! I'm rubbish. Paula is out and is resting. She's OK, but exhausted.

Paula
21-01-19, 09:38 PM
Hi! Thank you so much for all your comments and SM, you made me cry ;). I’m definitely exhausted and have slept most of the day asleep. I’m still shaking like a leaf.

Anyway, it’s done. The assessor was actually ok - he wanted facts but didn’t challenge anything I said. Si was awesome and took over every time I lost focus and couldn’t answer. When the assessor said he was going to do a physical exam I was worried but all he did was ask me to show if I could do this, that or the other. He got told ‘nope’ quite a lot lol. I was emotional, too, especially when he was asking about any suicidal or self harming thoughts. It’s so hard having everything put to you in black and white.

I’ve got no plans tomorrow, as I knew I’d need the time to recover. Sorry, I haven’t got the energy to look through what you’ve all been up to today, so I’ll talk to you all tomorrow

Thank you all for caring xx

Jaquaia
21-01-19, 09:40 PM
You need to look after you right now, go and rest (panda)

Allalone
21-01-19, 09:48 PM
Sending love and hugs.xx(panda)

Suzi
21-01-19, 09:54 PM
Of course we care!

Resting tomorrow and Wednesday at least please...

Strugglingmum
21-01-19, 10:25 PM
Lots and lots of rest and all the things you love over next few days.
You seriously need a spoon replenishment.
We think the world of you.
*passes a shiny spoon to Paula. (panda)

Suzi
22-01-19, 10:30 AM
How are you love?

Paula
22-01-19, 10:46 AM
I’m ok, just tired. Just chilling today ;)

OldMike
22-01-19, 11:53 AM
(panda)(panda)(panda)

Suzi
22-01-19, 12:58 PM
Glad you're chilling!

Allalone
22-01-19, 02:43 PM
(panda)

Strugglingmum
22-01-19, 07:17 PM
Hope you are enjoying chilling. (bear)

Suzi
22-01-19, 08:37 PM
How you doing Sparkles?

Paula
23-01-19, 09:37 AM
So, wasn't as ok yesterday as I thought. I was so anxious and agitated I had to take a diazepam. My head was thumping, I felt sick etc ...... Si’s working from home today to look after me. I’ll be ok, I just need to be kind to me for a bit

Suzi
23-01-19, 09:47 AM
Glad Si's going to be at home with you lovely. Sorry you're feeling so rubbish. I know it takes Marc a couple of days to get rid of his "anxiety hangover".. Be kind lovely.

magie06
23-01-19, 01:58 PM
Please be kind to YOU! These things take a lot out of you and it takes me almost a week to rebuild my spoon supply. Keeping you in my prayers.

Paula
23-01-19, 07:25 PM
Today has mainly been fighting a very low mood, and it’s taking all I’ve got just to not cry. I’ve already decided not to go to work Friday, I think this is going to take s9me time ....

Angie
23-01-19, 08:00 PM
Sweetie firstly (bear) secondly give yourself credit you went and you got through it and thirdly if you need to cry then cry it might be a good release of all the tension etc

OldMike
23-01-19, 08:38 PM
(bear) (panda)

Suzi
23-01-19, 08:59 PM
Do what you need to do. I'm glad you're not working on Friday, I think you need to really rest, rest, rest and recharge...

Allalone
23-01-19, 10:30 PM
Take care hun. Sending love and hugs. (panda)

Strugglingmum
23-01-19, 11:21 PM
You know me..... no wise words but always a ready hug. C(panda)

Suzi
24-01-19, 11:00 AM
How're you doing Sparkley one?

Paula
24-01-19, 01:37 PM
Hi, I wouldn’t say I’m sparkly just yet but I’m a bit nearer than I was. The one thing I didn’t cancel this week was my manicure this morning and I’m glad I didn’t. I’ve washed my hair and put make up on too ;). Rest and recharge is happening, suzi ......

Allalone
24-01-19, 02:05 PM
It’s good to hear you’re starting to glitter Paula. Take care.xx

Strugglingmum
24-01-19, 02:08 PM
Aw. Glad you are starting to pick up. baby steps. xx

Suzi
24-01-19, 08:13 PM
I'm really glad you are resting and recharging. It's so important..

magie06
24-01-19, 08:19 PM
Have you anything nice planned for tomorrow?

Paula
24-01-19, 09:07 PM
Have you anything nice planned for tomorrow?

Not a thing ;). I cancelled my work shift - I am so unbelievably exhausted I couldn’t even think about going and when I asked Katie to pick up my meds, I realised I’m not up to dealing with people ......

magie06
24-01-19, 10:08 PM
Well then, hibernate until you feel better.

Suzi
24-01-19, 10:47 PM
Just rest love. Right now that's more than enough.

Paula
25-01-19, 11:19 PM
Today has been more positive, and I’ve had more energy. I’m recovering :). I’m hoping tomorrow will be even better as I’ve previously convinced Si to take me to a local ish antiques market on Sunday - I love rummaging through antiques and collectibles but can’t get around most antique centres. I really want to go so am crossing everything I’ll be up to it.

Polo had a rough start to the day. Si was in the shower and I was fast asleep. Apparently he was barking but Si finished his shower before going down - which is normally not a problem. When he got downstairs, he found Polo had an accident and then slipped in his wee. He couldn’t get back up and was just sprawled then lying in his own wee .... poor baby :(

Strugglingmum
25-01-19, 11:27 PM
Awk Paula. I'm glad you are feeling a bit of glitter shining thru. Still just take it easy and replenish those spoons. Hope you get a good rummage on Sunday.(giggle)
Poor Polo. Katie sends him a slobbery lick. (panda)

Allalone
25-01-19, 11:32 PM
Poor Polo, I would say that Ted would give him a lick too but he would probably rather have a sniff of his bottom instead!!(rofl)
Make sure you rest up tomorrow so you get to do your rummaging on Sunday.(panda)

Suzi
25-01-19, 11:51 PM
Poor Polo! Hope he recovers....

Allalone
26-01-19, 02:03 PM
How are you today Paula?

Paula
26-01-19, 03:52 PM
Would have been better if I hadn’t forgotten my meds this morning :/ but I’m ok. Am going to do some more cross stitch this afternoon - the one plus to feeling rubbish this week is I’ve done loads of it :)

Angie
26-01-19, 06:02 PM
Poor Polo lots of fusses and hugs from me

Glad your starting to feel a bit brighter hunni take it steady

Suzi
26-01-19, 10:11 PM
You forgot your meds? Oh hunni! How did you manage that?

Paula
27-01-19, 12:38 AM
You forgot your meds? Oh hunni! How did you manage that?

I’ve got an alarm on my phone for 8am. I snoozed the alarm and by the time I got up, it slipped out of my head. I didn’t take them til 2pm so Venlafaxine, Pregabalin and tapentadol withdrawal took its toll today - last thing I need lol

Tomorrow, we’re off to an antiques fair in fareham. It’s 45mins away so I hope it’s not just a glorified car boot ;)

Allalone
27-01-19, 07:27 AM
Enjoy the rummaging today!

Flo
27-01-19, 08:07 AM
Ooh!..lovely. I used to live in Gosport only 25 mins away...have a great time.xx

Suzi
27-01-19, 09:58 AM
I’ve got an alarm on my phone for 8am. I snoozed the alarm and by the time I got up, it slipped out of my head. I didn’t take them til 2pm so Venlafaxine, Pregabalin and tapentadol withdrawal took its toll today - last thing I need lol

Tomorrow, we’re off to an antiques fair in fareham. It’s 45mins away so I hope it’s not just a glorified car boot ;)
Woah.. That serious withdrawal..... Hope you're feeling brighter today lovely. Enjoy your day and don't forget to haggle!

Paula
27-01-19, 07:00 PM
Soooo, normally when I go antique-ing, I buy ornaments and sparkly stuff (obvs) and Si very rarely comes with me. Today, for whatever reason, I was drawn to the unusual and we both loved looking at old records/tapes, war memorabilia, cigarette cards, 007 playing cards and a 17th century map of the Isle of Wight. (Oh, and an 18ct gold, fire opal and diamond ring costing £1600. But we both fell in love with 2 incredible books.

The first is an original, period book produced for Queen Victoria’s Diamond Jubilee in 1897. It’s got all sorts of details including the line of succession, her statesmen, her family, how transport had changed between 1837 and 1897, British victories on land and sea etc with the most glorious adverts and illustrations. It’s stunning!
The second is Princess Mary’s Gift Book produced in 1914 (when she sent tins with chocolate to all men at the Front for Christmas) which featured stories, poems and illustrations from some of the literary greats at the time inc A A Milne and Rudyard Kipling - they were sold to raise money for the men fighting.

Honestly, I’m so excited to have these pieces of history!

https://i.ibb.co/CWr7yvQ/1-FBD5-D52-9481-44-D1-B925-5524180-FBD50.jpg (https://ibb.co/CWr7yvQ) https://i.ibb.co/3mwx42s/6-E77-D070-AB44-45-B0-857-D-2-E13-AA095479.jpg (https://ibb.co/3mwx42s) https://i.ibb.co/zHC1ntw/FDE32570-82-BD-422-F-98-EB-5-B9-F1-CE66711.jpg (https://ibb.co/zHC1ntw) https://i.ibb.co/2SrxdXY/9867-C767-45-C9-4303-AE0-B-F79-E0-ACE8-A0-B.jpg (https://ibb.co/2SrxdXY) https://i.ibb.co/LPQL6mq/49-DAEA36-460-B-43-E1-9-E03-F6-C4-F7665-F87.jpg (https://ibb.co/LPQL6mq) https://i.ibb.co/RNnn80P/D5-FDEA5-F-938-A-4-E9-F-BE1-B-BA709-DE8-E6-B6.jpg (https://ibb.co/RNnn80P) https://i.ibb.co/3RzSLTf/976-CFC29-E255-4-F13-89-F2-E589-BF737-DA7.jpg (https://ibb.co/3RzSLTf) https://i.ibb.co/TYX8n9B/E4-B16-FBD-F899-4457-8-B57-981-B00601817.jpg (https://ibb.co/TYX8n9B) https://i.ibb.co/brkVJdj/9273-DB2-F-99-D4-490-F-8-B5-E-7-C86467-CEB98.jpg (https://ibb.co/brkVJdj) https://i.ibb.co/0KVYyMS/71-A2-D219-79-F1-4-F99-BE39-13041-B2-FD2-D5.jpg (https://ibb.co/0KVYyMS)

Jaquaia
27-01-19, 07:02 PM
I'm so jealous!!!!

Paula
27-01-19, 07:45 PM
I knew you’d appreciate them ;)

Jaquaia
27-01-19, 07:55 PM
They're brilliant!

Paula
27-01-19, 08:04 PM
I can’t do justice for the colours in the Victoria book - they’re so vibrant, esp as they’re 120 years old!

Jaquaia
27-01-19, 08:32 PM
I'm currently eyeing up a 98 year old copy of Wuthering Heights on ebay...

Suzi
27-01-19, 08:52 PM
OH WOW!!!! Those are AMAZING!!

magie06
27-01-19, 08:53 PM
Omg! Those are just wonderful.

Paula
27-01-19, 10:03 PM
I’ve just read the first short story (J M Barrie) in the Princess Mary Book, and the adverts (absolutely hysterical and mind blowing all at once) and introduction in the Victoria one. One of the adverts was for Epps Cocoa, or what they call cocoaine (giggle) which apparently cures all ills. You couldn’t make it up(rofl)

Suzi
28-01-19, 10:56 AM
I'm heard that! Maybe we should be trying it? Lol.. Joking obviously!

Paula
30-01-19, 11:34 PM
I’m not as stable as I thought. I went to Housegroup tonight and, at the end, someone mentioned SH (don’t ask why ....) and I crumpled. I hate this illness

It’s not helping that, on Friday, my best friends sister was told that, even though it was only last month she was in remission from leukaemia, she’s now relapsed. She’s in hospital having aggressive chemo (2 rounds of it) followed very quickly by stem cell treatment in the hopes she’ll stay in remission long enough to have the stem cell and that will keep her in remission. But, they’ve already told her that, if this doesn’t work, they don’t have anything else that’ll treat her. They’re all in bits ....

Strugglingmum
30-01-19, 11:39 PM
Oh Paula. I'm so sorry (panda)

Jaquaia
30-01-19, 11:49 PM
(panda) can you do something kind for you tomorrow lovely?

Mira
31-01-19, 07:51 AM
That was a rough hard day. I hope today will be kinder and better (bear)

Paula
31-01-19, 09:06 AM
I’m meeting a friend for coffee. I say a friend, she’s more than that - she’s a mentor really, she was Katies childminder and is Jess’s godmother. I always knows that, no matter how much I’m struggling, she soothes my spirit itms

Suzi
31-01-19, 09:36 AM
Oh sweetheart I'm so sorry things are so rough for you.. (panda) Go, see your friend and let her help you through.. We're here too. You know that.

Flo
31-01-19, 02:14 PM
I hope you come home more relaxed and less troubled. Having a really special person around who showers you with positive vibes and a calming influence helps a lot.(panda)

Paula
31-01-19, 05:04 PM
I know you are, Suzi :)

I’ve had a lovely time with Janet. She has such a strong faith and always helps me see the way through any situation.

OldMike
31-01-19, 05:38 PM
Brilliant you've had a lovely time with Janet, friends like the are on e in a million. (panda)

Suzi
31-01-19, 06:28 PM
Feeling more settled?

Paula
31-01-19, 08:09 PM
Yeah. I was a bit shaky when I was out so I’m definitely not 100% recovered from last week, but I did ‘people’ today so it’s all good :)

Suzi
31-01-19, 10:29 PM
Proud of you x

Paula
31-01-19, 11:23 PM
Thank you :). I am aware I’m not altogether ok (and snow doesn’t help my anxiety) but I’m trying

Suzi
01-02-19, 08:53 AM
That's all any of us can do!

OldMike
01-02-19, 10:23 AM
Thank you :). I am aware I’m not altogether ok (and snow doesn’t help my anxiety) but I’m trying

Snow and ice doesn't help any of us unless you're a kid when it's snowing and it's like "Wanna Build a Snowman" (breathe easy I'm not going to post that video )

(bear) (panda)

Paula
01-02-19, 07:49 PM
The snow has been falling all day and there’s rumours our hospital is blocked in, with ambulances not being able to get through. I’m getting more and more twitchy ...

Suzi
01-02-19, 10:18 PM
OK, realistically how likely is it you will need to get to hospital?
Also I know that our 4 x 4 group have been mobilised all over Surrey, Hampshire and the surrounding areas. There will be plans in action hunnipie... And start wafting your snow to me! I have 0 snow...

Paula
01-02-19, 11:29 PM
Not at all realistic, I know, but it’s so bad here the council have set up a rest Centre in a town centre church for people who have had to abandon their cars...... I said earlier I feel trapped - Si asked whether I’d planned on leaving the house anyway but it’s different not wanting to vs not being able to. I can’t walk anywhere if needs be, unlike Si, Katie and Jess who’ve all been out today.

And snow just has such negative connotations for me. I know I’m not making any sense at all but.......

And, Suzi, love, you can have it all *wafts with abandon* ;)

Flo
02-02-19, 09:58 AM
I agree with you Paula...not wanting to and not being able to are two totally different things! And as for the rest centre...what's that all about?? Silly sods who think they're clever going on the roads in this weather? I'm sure the money could be better spent.

Suzi
02-02-19, 11:38 AM
I get it.... I don't venture out in the snow and ice either. I've fallen before and that was years ago and I'm so much less mobile now I know I'd be stuck on the ice for ages..
Massive hugs gorgeous (panda)

Paula
02-02-19, 11:45 AM
I agree with you Paula...not wanting to and not being able to are two totally different things! And as for the rest centre...what's that all about?? Silly sods who think they're clever going on the roads in this weather? I'm sure the money could be better spent.

To be fair to them all, a few lorries jackknifed on the M3 between the 2 junctions where we live, causing major disruptions

Suzi
02-02-19, 11:55 AM
We were watching that! Whole of the M3 was shut! Bugger that for fun...

Angie
02-02-19, 11:59 AM
I saw that on the news yesturday please be careful hunni

Paula
02-02-19, 02:29 PM
I saw that on the news yesturday please be careful hunni

Flippin’ ‘eck we are famous if you heard about it oop north (giggle)

OldMike
02-02-19, 03:50 PM
Of course Princess Sparkles your fame spreads far and wide even as far as Manchester where we wear flat caps and drink flagons of ale (giggle)

Paula
02-02-19, 04:20 PM
(rofl)

Paula
03-02-19, 09:57 AM
(snooze) I’m so tired this morning. Katie went to a party last night and was getting a lift home with her friend’s dad which, with the roads still a nightmare, meant I couldn’t even consider going to bed until she was home, safe.

Jaquaia
03-02-19, 10:26 AM
Resting today then? (panda)

Flo
03-02-19, 10:50 AM
(snooze) I’m so tired this morning. Katie went to a party last night and was getting a lift home with her friend’s dad which, with the roads still a nightmare, meant I couldn’t even consider going to bed until she was home, safe.

I know the feeling...I could never sleep until mine came home either. Nothing to stop you going for a long nap later to catch up with the lost sleep.

Suzi
03-02-19, 12:32 PM
I wouldn't have gone to bed either... Hope you are resting today...

Allalone
03-02-19, 12:58 PM
Hope you’re taking it easy today.

Paula
03-02-19, 03:06 PM
Yep, rest today. I’m just about to start some cross stitch. Katies very hungover and is really annoying today - still, she got home safe so I’m grateful ;)

Allalone
03-02-19, 04:03 PM
I’m pleased you’re taking it easy. It’s good that Katie got home safe and sound but hungover kids are a pain in the bottom.

Suzi
03-02-19, 05:40 PM
What are you stitching atm?
Poor Katie! Are you a sympathetic Mum?

Angie
03-02-19, 06:07 PM
Flippin’ ‘eck we are famous if you heard about it oop north (giggle)

Lol was on my facebook feed via one of the news things think it was metro

Angie
03-02-19, 06:08 PM
See hangovers are self-inflicted so erm I don't do to much sympathy lol hope your resting

Allalone
03-02-19, 06:18 PM
I’m afraid I don’t do much sympathy either(giggle)

Paula
03-02-19, 07:14 PM
What are you stitching atm?
Poor Katie! Are you a sympathetic Mum?

Nope, not in the slightest! And she’s gone out with friends tonight so she definitely won’t have sympathy if she comes back wasted lol

Angie
03-02-19, 09:15 PM
(giggle)

Suzi
03-02-19, 10:00 PM
(rofl)(rofl)(rofl)

Strugglingmum
04-02-19, 12:01 AM
No sympathy here either for hangovers..... and believe me, you throw up.... you clean it up right away whether you're dying or not...... might think twice before coming home in that state again. I also enjoy turning the Hoover on really early outside your room(angel)

Flo
04-02-19, 10:48 AM
Zoe doesn't drink a lot anymore. She was fed up with throwing up! Jay on the other hand doesn't drink at all now - except the odd cocktail at a party - he can't take it! His wife would find him naked in the bath surrounded by vomit! Yuk!..so pleased they're not living at home!

magie06
04-02-19, 12:53 PM
I was like that when I was younger. I tried to open my front door with my asthma inhaler one night. I spent another .ight in casualty with alcohol poisoning! Not nice, but I've learned my lesson. I don't drink at all now. I'm a bit of an all or nothing type person.

Allalone
04-02-19, 01:32 PM
I once tried to open the nextdoor neighbours front door at 3am, thankfully they were away on holiday but I made that much noise that I woke J (who’s like my mum) up!!

Suzi
04-02-19, 03:01 PM
No sympathy here either for hangovers..... and believe me, you throw up.... you clean it up right away whether you're dying or not...... might think twice before coming home in that state again. I also enjoy turning the Hoover on really early outside your room(angel)
Eww! Marc once went home to his Mum's steaming drunk. He got up the following afternoon to be greeted with "Your sheets are in the bath waiting for you to wash them..." Apparently she'd heard him being ill in the night helped him to change his bedding and left them all for him to deal with whilst also nursing a hangover! He didn't do that again!!!

OldMike
04-02-19, 05:16 PM
Zoe doesn't drink a lot anymore. She was fed up with throwing up! Jay on the other hand doesn't drink at all now - except the odd cocktail at a party - he can't take it! His wife would find him naked in the bath surrounded by vomit! Yuk!..so pleased they're not living at home!

Eeek must say I've never found myself naked in a bath of sick in the 70+ years I've walked this earth though did have drunk so much at Christmas party it's a wonder I made it home without getting knocked down crossing a very busy road, I'd be in my 30's then, these days I'm TT.

Strugglingmum
04-02-19, 06:08 PM
I'm loving the attractive slant your thread has taken Paula(rofl)
Lots of drink, drunk, vomit shenanigans! !!! (giggle)


Kinda glad I'm TT

Paula
04-02-19, 08:55 PM
(rofl)

Suzi
04-02-19, 10:26 PM
How are you Paula?

Paula
04-02-19, 11:30 PM
I’ve got sciatica, and I know you can sympathise. Otherwise, it’s been a meh day but I’ve been worse

Suzi
05-02-19, 10:42 AM
Hope the sciatica has left you... That's a gift that keeps on giving....

What have you got planned for today?

Paula
05-02-19, 10:48 AM
As my back, hip, bum and leg hurt, probably not a lot lol. Still, it’ll pass ;)

Suzi
05-02-19, 10:55 AM
(panda) Can you do something to be kind to you?

OldMike
05-02-19, 10:55 AM
When there are no words Mr Bear and Miss Panda say it all (bear) (panda)

Paula
05-02-19, 05:16 PM
I’ve just been on the phone to my best friend - she’s sounding a lot more positive after the shock with her sister, which has cheered me up no end. I hadn’t realised how worried I am about her

Paula
06-02-19, 11:35 AM
Trying very hard not to cry at the moment. There’s been issues with me getting a parking space for work so my boss has been collecting me from a further off parking space - except she’s been told she can’t as it’s afrcting her health. We’ve had a chat this morning and neither of us can come up with an alternative so I’ve been taken off the rota

Jaquaia
06-02-19, 12:07 PM
Oh lovely (panda)

Strugglingmum
06-02-19, 12:14 PM
I'm so sorry hunni. (panda)
You do know this is not to do with your ability for the job? please remember that.x

OldMike
06-02-19, 12:47 PM
Oh luv (panda)