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Allalone
03-11-18, 05:20 PM
I’ve never posted on a forum before so here goes!

The one thing that was keeping me going was work but it all got too much 3 weeks ago and my world came crashing down around me. A colleague persuaded me to see my GP and I ended up getting signed off work and referred to the crisis team. The home treatment team have been visiting every day/ 2 days since.
I’d been on fluoxetine since May for depression which got increased in July and September but that wasn’t working and the psychiatrist advised to lower the dose over 2 weeks then start Sertraline. I started that last week but ended up with a migraine and unable to get out of bed for 2 days, extremely low mood and self harming. I was advised to stop taking it and started on venlaflaxine on Wednesday. Since then I’ve had headaches, nausea and feel numb.
Nothing makes me happy, my thoughts aren’t good and I’m battling against self harming.

Any comments/help would be appreciated.
Thanks

Suzi
03-11-18, 05:37 PM
Hi and welcome to DWD. I'm glad you've seen your GP and that you have some kind of a plan in place. Remember that any antidepressant takes anywhere around 4 - 8 weeks to get into your system, then the same time for each dosage change and for stopping. Currently you have at least some of each of 3 meds - with side effects of starting and stopping in your system, hence why you are feeling rough...

What I will say is that my husband's story is similar to yours and actually venlafexine has been amazing for him. Are you sleeping?
You can get through this and you deserve to be happy.
Keep talking.

Paula
03-11-18, 05:42 PM
Hi and welcome. I’d never posted on a forum before I found this place, and now I count some of my dearest friends among the members! We’re warm and welcoming and, most importantly, understand

Allalone
03-11-18, 06:27 PM
My sleep has been a major issue, I suffer from flashbacks. I’ve tried diazepam and zolpidem but only worked for a couple of nights. I’ve now been given temazapam to try. The psychiatrist has diagnosed me with PTSD along with anxiety and depression.
I had PND after having my children and fluoxetine helped each time. This is ten times worse. I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore.
I’m a single mum. My marriage broke down a couple of years ago.
I feel like I’m on auto pilot. Nothing makes me happy and feel very low. I’m just not sure I have it in me to battle much more against this.

OldMike
03-11-18, 07:44 PM
Hi (hi) it can take a couple of months before antidepressants start take effect and often the first few weeks you have side effects too so you need to give them a chance.

At our lowest we've all felt like we can't go on, but we can, it ain't easy and there's many a blip on the way but we can get there.

Jaquaia
03-11-18, 08:36 PM
Things can and will get better, it will just take time to find the right meds for you. Finding something to distract me helped me not to self-harm most of the time, it's important not to beat yourself up though if that doesn't work and most importantly, keep your wounds clean (panda)

Allalone
03-11-18, 09:03 PM
I understand that meds take a while to work or to find the right ones. I just hate this place I’m in right now. I’m trying to distract myself, listening to an audiobook, sudoku, tv and walked the dog. I haven’t self harmed today but finding it very hard to resist now.
I haven’t got anyone close that fully understands where I’m at. I’m really grateful for your support and not being judged for self harming. My wounds are clean, don’t worry.

Jaquaia
03-11-18, 09:43 PM
I understand where you are completely. I was in that place 7 months ago. I still have a very noticeable scar on my arm from the last time I self harmed. It's a coping mechanism, albeit not a very healthy one. I know how hard it is when you feel trapped in that dark place, many of us do. It's why you will always find understanding and support here

Paula
03-11-18, 10:11 PM
Jaq’s right, love, it is a coping mechanism - one I know all about and how hard it is to not SH. So please don’t beat yourself up over it. We will never judge. You’re doing brilliantly trying to distract today and you should be proud of yourself.

I’ve added a trigger warning to your thread. It’s nothing to worry about, it just means that other members can avoid this thread if they find triggering

Suzi
03-11-18, 10:33 PM
We absolutely won't judge you!
Be proud that you haven resisted so far, lovely. (panda)

Allalone
03-11-18, 10:52 PM
I’m off to bed now. Fingers crossed for some sleep.
Thanks for all your kind words. I’m so pleased I made the decision to join DWD.

Paula
03-11-18, 11:04 PM
Night hunni

Paula
04-11-18, 09:38 AM
How are you this morning? Did you sleep?

Suzi
04-11-18, 10:54 AM
We're glad you came to join us too.

Allalone
04-11-18, 11:15 AM
I slept for about 6 hours(which is better than the usual 2/3)then woke having a flashback. I ended up getting up as I find it hard to stay in bed after having them. I have opened an old wound by scratching at it but no new ones so that’s good isn’t it?
My heads thumping this morning. I’ve taken the dog for a long walk then showered him as he was filthy!
I’ve got 3 children, the eldest is away at uni and the other 2 at home. They were both out with friends yesterday but are both in today so are a good distraction for me. The home treatment team are coming round today too so hopefully should have a better day.
Thanks for the support.

Suzi
04-11-18, 11:34 AM
Massive hugs (panda) Flashbacks are horrible. Have you had specific counselling to help with those events?

Allalone
04-11-18, 12:04 PM
Not recently. I’ve had some counselling in the past but didn’t deal specifically with flashbacks. I was due to start counselling but when I was referred to the crisis team the counselling service won’t see me until I’m more stable/no longer having suicidal thoughts.
The counsellor mentioned CBT and another I think called EMDR?
The home treatment team have said that I need to be settled on my meds before I start the CBT. They are going to visit every 1/2days depending on how I’m doing.

Suzi
04-11-18, 04:58 PM
That sounds really sensible. I know one of our lovely team have had emdr and found it really beneficial. It's hard - but then confronting what's going on is hard.
One day and one step at a time.

Paula
04-11-18, 05:18 PM
What dog have you got? I’ve got an elderly greyhound and adore him!

Allalone
04-11-18, 07:00 PM
I’ve got a 2 1/2 year old Maltese xPoodle(also known as a Maltipoo but it sounds ridiculous!). He is called Ted and I love him to bits!

Had an ok day. Been busy sorting washing, tidying etc while I’m feeling ok to do it.
Home treatment team have been and are happy to give me a day off tomorrow as I’m more settled today. I’ve got to phone them if I’m not great tonight/tomorrow, which I find really hard to do but at least I know that they are there if I need them.

Jaquaia
04-11-18, 07:02 PM
You're doing brilliantly

Allalone
04-11-18, 09:42 PM
Thanks
I’m having a bit of a dip now. Going to try and do a bit of sudoku, tried taking Ted out for a walk but the fireworks spooked him (and me) so sudoku it is.
Any ideas for distraction would be good.

Jaquaia
04-11-18, 09:57 PM
There's a lot in here

http://www.dealingwithdepression.co.uk/showthread.php?249-Distraction-Techniques

Me personally, at the moment my main focus is studying but I also read a lot. I colour, cross-stitch, knit, draw, write, bake or do diamond mosaic pics too

Allalone
04-11-18, 10:07 PM
I’ll have a look thank you.

I read, colour and bake too. Finding it hard to focus on reading at the minute though.

Jaquaia
04-11-18, 10:17 PM
I know what you mean. I couldn't read for a lot of this year as I couldn't concentrate. I had to force myself to do my uni work most weeks

Suzi
04-11-18, 10:29 PM
I agree, you are doing brilliantly!
Our dogs were terrified too.... I crochet, read when I can, write, and bake...

Allalone
04-11-18, 10:50 PM
Thanks guys.

I’m feeling sleepy so off to bed.

Going to do a breathing technique to try and chill out a bit more before sleep.

Paula
04-11-18, 10:53 PM
Have you tried mindfulness?

Allalone
05-11-18, 06:14 AM
Been awake for a while and struggling for a distraction so thought I’d have a look at distraction techniques on DWD.
I’ve tried what I can for this time in the morning. I do have a couple of bananas that are very ripe so could bake my chocolate and banana loaf but motivation isn’t there for doing it and I’d wake the house if I started now.

I haven’t tried mindfulness Paula. Is it ok to try when I’m very low and struggling with my thoughts?

Posting on here is providing a distraction for now.

Paula
05-11-18, 08:20 AM
I was taught mindfulness when I was a patient in a psych hospital and was struggling badly with my thoughts so I’d say yes. You can find info on the NHS website https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mindfulness/

I’m glad we can help distract you, lovely, and that you found us :)

Allalone
05-11-18, 09:40 AM
Really struggling now

Suzi
05-11-18, 10:11 AM
Hey love, what are you doing today?
If you're struggling is it worth calling the crisis team?

Editing to add: I love mindfulness or you could try some tai chi - I use a great bloke on a rock one as I have to do seated Tai chi, but I find it really calming and really peaceful.. This is the one I use.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zysx0FCqacI&t=50s

Allalone
05-11-18, 10:29 AM
No major plans today.

Currently curled up on the sofa with Ted, crying and feeling bad about self harming.

Jaquaia
05-11-18, 10:33 AM
Call the crisis team lovely, you need the support (panda)

Flo
05-11-18, 10:54 AM
I agree with the others..call the crisis team and get some help.

Paula
05-11-18, 10:54 AM
Call the crisis team lovely, you need the support (panda)

^^^wss - it’s what they’re there for (bear)

Allalone
05-11-18, 11:30 AM
I’ll try. Just find it hard to speak about it.

Not a great night with flashbacks, feel so tired this morning but scared to close my eyes.

Paula
05-11-18, 12:46 PM
Have you got someone with you today?

Allalone
05-11-18, 01:17 PM
No. I’m on my own until 4.30pm

Paula
05-11-18, 01:53 PM
Ok. Have you tried to call the crisis team?

Suzi
05-11-18, 03:21 PM
Hunni, have you called the crisis team?

Allalone
05-11-18, 11:54 PM
Well it’s been a long day.

I phoned the crisis team at 5pm. I spoke to a nurse that’s been out to see me. She talked to me for about half an hour reminding me of what I’ve got around me and that it’s not going to be like this forever. They can’t deal with my flashbacks though. I have had loads today and not sure if I can take much more. I’ve taken a sleeping tablet but waiting for that to kick in. They are upping my dose of venlafaxine on Wednesday.

Is it really necessary to wait for the meds to kick in before I have counselling?

Paula
06-11-18, 08:41 AM
That’s a decision for your medical team, lovely, but counselling is extremely hard and often triggering so it may be that it’s felt you need to be a little more stable before you start it. What dose of Venlafaxine will you be up to?

Well done for calling the crisis team (bear)

Allalone
06-11-18, 09:33 AM
I’m on 37.5 and are increasing it to 75.

I’ve had counselling in the past and know how hard it is. I just feel like I can’t cope with these flashbacks for much longer. Will the meds help with those? Or is talking about them the only way?

Suzi
06-11-18, 11:30 AM
My husband is on 75 mg twice a day and it really has helped.

Flashbacks occur differently for everyone. I still have flashbacks from several incidents. They can be triggered by a sound, a smell or a situation. I've told my husband everything so he can help talk me through them if it's a horrific nightmarey one. I had intensive therapy years ago now and it did really help. I'm now able to talk about things without crumbling.
One of the things I was told was to carry something with you that was a safe thing - for me it was a square of satin. Sounds stupid, but I only had positive memories around satin. It was easy to transport or to wear as a camisole top etc and so I could always have it easily in reach (tucked in a bra if necessary). I also had beady bracelet. That way each time I had a flashback, I wrote it down (date, time, trigger) and had a way to bring myself back to the present. I have to stress though that these were only techniques that I was told over 20 years ago now and things often change and this may not be right ones for you...

Allalone
06-11-18, 06:22 PM
Went back to bed this morning and the home treatment team woke me at 11am☹️ They made me some breakfast and a cuppa and made sure I took my meds. They also brought me a info sheet on dealing with flashbacks.They are coming back out tomorrow with more meds.

I’m very flat and just feel like going to bed.

Suzi
06-11-18, 06:24 PM
I'm really glad they came to see you and the fact that you've at least had breakfast, a cuppa and your meds is really massively positive even if it doesn't feel it right now.
(panda) Are you on your own over night?

Allalone
06-11-18, 07:05 PM
The kids are in for tea then ones going out and the other doing homework. They are 14 and 17 so not that reliant on me other than the usual of cleaning, cooking and taxi driving! They both live with me and don’t spend that many nights away. I do feel disconnected from them at the moment, I am doing things for them because I know I have to but it’s making me very tired. It’s like I’m on auto pilot.

Paula
06-11-18, 08:26 PM
I know that feeling - going through the motions. Tbh, you’re cooking, cleaning and taxi driving - all of which I’d say you are amazing for being able to achieve at the moment. This will pass, lovely....

Suzi
06-11-18, 09:09 PM
Have you told them that you're struggling atm? Maybe they can help out doing some of those things a bit more right now?

Allalone
06-11-18, 09:54 PM
I just managing to cook, I’m cleaning when I have a manic moment and can’t sit down and I’ve not driven in a couple of days.
They know I’m off work with severe anxiety and know that the home treatment team are visiting but they don’t know how serious it is. Up until this last week any thoughts I’d have about suicide would immediately go when I thought of my 3 kids but that’s gone now and it scares me. I feel numb. The youngest wanted a hug earlier and I didn’t get that usual feeling from it. They are helping but could probably do a bit more.

Suzi
06-11-18, 11:17 PM
Sweetheart talk to them. I learnt that actually by not talking to mine about how my husband and I are then actually they worry for more... If you need help, ask for it.

Allalone
06-11-18, 11:28 PM
It’s difficult. I don’t know whether I can do it. Where do I start?

Paula
07-11-18, 09:04 AM
It’s difficult. I don’t know whether I can do it. Where do I start?

Honestly. I know how hard it is to have that conversation but it’s important. I tend to go with ‘you may have noticed I’m not feeling myself at the moment .....’

Allalone
07-11-18, 09:59 AM
Do I have to mention suicidal thoughts? I’m not sure what info to say and what not to. I haven’t discussed past trauma with them, do they need to know? I feel totally hopeless and feel like I don’t know who I am anymore. Nothing makes me happy and to think a month ago I was still working full time. Where do I go from here?

Suzi
07-11-18, 10:01 AM
I've had a bit of a nightmare with my own health over the last few months and actually I started my conversation with "Right, you know that I've been struggling and feeling more sh*t recently? Well I want to talk you through what's happening, what I need you to do and what I don't need. You can ask any questions you have, and I'll answer everything as best as I can, although if I don't want to talk about it, I'll ear mark it for later if that's OK?"

Cross posted, so adding stuff here.

You don't have to go into details of the trauma, but you can say that something happened, you'd rather not discuss it at the moment and that you'll tell them when you've dealt with it enough to talk to them about it.

Trust them.

Allalone
07-11-18, 11:03 AM
Thanks.

I’ll try tonight.

Suzi
07-11-18, 03:00 PM
It'll feel strange, but from someone looking in at my husband and his struggles with his mental health when he finally told me how he was feeling it made everything easier - at least I knew and actually I had been imagining all sorts... We've been together nearly 20 years. We speak openly about health including mental health as it helps each of us, but it helps our children too - to know that it's OK not to be OK all the time and sometimes even their parents need help....

Allalone
07-11-18, 03:30 PM
Home treatment team been out to drop meds off and take my blood pressure. They are increasing the visits to daily again as they are concerned about how low my mood is and my increase in self harm. They are going to call me later to see how I am.
I’m on the sofa with Ted and going to search Netflix for something to watch.

Paula
07-11-18, 05:39 PM
I’m glad they’re coming out daily at the moment, lovely. One day at a time ....

Jaquaia
07-11-18, 05:48 PM
Sometimes we need to take fairy steps and ignore any expectations of how we feel we should be.

Allalone
07-11-18, 09:31 PM
It feels like I’ve taken a step backwards though.

Just had a phone call from the home treatment team. I’m on daily visits for at least a week. They were asking questions about the kids too. I’m now panicking, do they think I’m a risk to them?

I’ve started scratching at a wound.

Suzi
07-11-18, 10:45 PM
It's very much not a step backwards. It's a huge positive that actually you are asking for and receiving help! Sweetheart they won't think that, they are just asking - I've sat in many an appointment with my husband where they were asking more about the children, our cat, anything to get him to talk and to try to break down barriers.
If you are unsure then ask them lovely.... You are amazing. Keep fighting.

Allalone
07-11-18, 11:03 PM
Feel like I’m losing the fight.

I’ve got so many things whizzing around in my head it feels like it could explode.

I’m now waiting on the sleeping tablet to kick in then I’ll get peace for a while.
Night.

Jaquaia
07-11-18, 11:11 PM
It does feel like that some days, recovery isn't a straight line. Take things hour by hour if you need to (panda)

Strugglingmum
07-11-18, 11:55 PM
Allalone, please know that you are not alone. I really do know where you are right now and how you're feeling....I've been there. It really does get better please believe that, even if its only with a tiny bit of belief, cling to it. It takes a while for meds to kick in but they will..... and there is loads out there to try. Getting sleep sorted is a big thing because it gives you a big of energy to fight what is going on in your head. Keep talking. X

Suzi
08-11-18, 12:21 AM
It really isn't going to be like this forever lovely... (panda)(panda)

Allalone
08-11-18, 08:36 AM
Not a great night.
Got a horrible headache this morning and so flat.

Paula
08-11-18, 08:56 AM
(panda) sweetheart, I know it doesn’t seem it right now but there is a way through this. You will get better and life will get easier

Allalone
08-11-18, 09:44 AM
I can’t get rid of these negative thoughts. I’ve really tried this morning. I’ve taken Ted for a short walk, got a chocolate and banana loaf in the oven but have self harmed as well.
I’m not sure what to do next.

Jaquaia
08-11-18, 10:19 AM
The counselling will help. The problem is, counselling could do more harm then good if you're not relatively stable. Hour by hour lovely, you will make it through the other side (panda)

Suzi
08-11-18, 10:39 AM
Can you come up with a box where you can keep things to do in the event of negative thoughts? One of our members made one. In it she had something for each of the senses - an audio book, some colouring, something fabric, something nice to eat, one of her favourite smells etc When things are tough she can open it and use it until the moments pass..
Have you looked at our distraction thread? Tried the ideas there?

Allalone
08-11-18, 01:49 PM
I’ve looked at the distraction thread. I’ve tried walking the dog, baking, colouring, sudoku, tv and music this morning but still resorted to self harm. Which helps for a small amount of time but then makes you feel bad for doing it so you end up doing it again to get rid of the bad thoughts and then you’re back to feeling bad again. One of the treatment team suggested helping me do a hope box. So that’s worth a go.

I feel like I need to get rid of these flashbacks and nightmares. I don’t want to carry them round with me anymore. They are awful.

Suzi
08-11-18, 04:59 PM
Oh sweetheart. I'm going to send you a pm - nothing bad, I hope...

Paula
08-11-18, 08:25 PM
Hi Hunni, just leaving this here (panda)

Allalone
08-11-18, 09:35 PM
Had home treatment team round late this afternoon. They are trying to reassure me that it won’t be like this forever. They are worried that I won’t phone if I’m in a bad way.
I’m absolutely shattered so I’m already in bed.

Paula
08-11-18, 10:48 PM
They are 100% right, it will pass. I know (believe me I know) it doesn’t feel like it right now but there is always a way through

Suzi
08-11-18, 11:28 PM
They are right hunni... This isn't forever. Why would they not think that you would phone them if you needed them?

Strugglingmum
08-11-18, 11:36 PM
Wish I could give you a real hug but here is a virtual one. I promise you, it will get better. I SH too so I understand completely how it makes you feel. You won't always do it. I'm glad you have home treatment team, they were a real support for me at times that I needed them. Listen to them and always phone, they really do care and can help you to distract. Xx

Allalone
09-11-18, 07:38 AM
I’ve only phoned them once. I tend to SH instead and the SH is getting worse.

Allalone
09-11-18, 07:44 AM
Sorry I hadn’t finished that post.

Thanks for the hug SM.
Another tough night. Going to take the dog out now see if that settles me a bit.

Paula
09-11-18, 08:47 AM
Oh lovely, please, please, please call them - it’s exactly what they’re there for. Are your wounds clean and dressed?

Allalone
09-11-18, 09:26 AM
Yes apart from one on my back. I can’t get a dressing on it.

It’s the reaching out physically that I struggle with. When it gets to the point of needing to phone I’ve usually SH so feel ashamed and can’t talk.

Suzi
09-11-18, 09:47 AM
You have nothing to feel ashamed about. You deserve the help - but they can't help if you don't talk to them and tell them everything that's going on. Can you get someone to help you dress the wound on your back?

Allalone
09-11-18, 10:18 AM
You have nothing to feel ashamed about. You deserve the help - but they can't help if you don't talk to them and tell them everything that's going on. Can you get someone to help you dress the wound on your back?

It’s an old wound that I keep opening up by scratching at it. The home treatment team know about it. They usually ask to see it. They know I find it hard to phone them and I think that’s one of the reasons they are visiting everyday. I am sharing more with them now than I was when they first starting coming out. I think it’s a trust issue. It usually takes me a long time to build a relationship with anyone and when it’s not the same person coming out to see you each day it’s hard.

Strugglingmum
09-11-18, 10:34 AM
Reaching out and trusting people can be so difficult. I really get it but look on it as. I want to get better, I have to talk, I have to phone, I will not let shame stop me.
Guess what. You are valuable. You deserve help. You are not a bad person. You are a good person who is having a hard time . There are people who want to help you and support you. There are people who understand what you are going thru. Use HTT, use this page, use all your resources and stop being hard on yourself. You are not well. Be kind. Xxx

Allalone
09-11-18, 11:43 AM
Reaching out and trusting people can be so difficult. I really get it but look on it as. I want to get better, I have to talk, I have to phone, I will not let shame stop me.
Guess what. You are valuable. You deserve help. You are not a bad person. You are a good person who is having a hard time . There are people who want to help you and support you. There are people who understand what you are going thru. Use HTT, use this page, use all your resources and stop being hard on yourself. You are not well. Be kind. Xxx

Thank you.
When I decided to post on this forum it was a last resort.(I don’t mean that in a bad way) The support I’ve had off you and all the others has been unbelievable. I really am at my lowest point in my life but thanks to you and all the others, I’m still here.
The home treatment team have just called and are visiting at 11.30am. I promise I will be honest with them.

Jaquaia
09-11-18, 11:58 AM
Good. They can't help properly if they don't know everything (panda)

Suzi
09-11-18, 12:14 PM
You are amazing. I don't say that lightly. I am SO glad you chose to join us.

Allalone
09-11-18, 12:30 PM
Feeling very anxious about them arriving. Thankfully I know who’s coming and she’s the one that visited yesterday. Do I ask them to take away any meds I was tempted to take last night?
I’ll let you know how it goes.

OldMike
09-11-18, 12:40 PM
Hope all goes well today with the home treatment team.

Suzi
09-11-18, 03:39 PM
How did it go lovely?

Strugglingmum
09-11-18, 04:49 PM
Please give them any meds. I had to keep giving them paracetamol that I kept buying. They never judged just said well done for giving it up. I identify so closely with you and what you're going thru. Please keep talking. X

Allalone
09-11-18, 06:55 PM
Well, that was a tough hour and a half. Followed by an afternoon of walking Ted and sitting in the fresh air.


You will all be pleased to know that I’ve been very open an honest with the home treatment team. The wound on my back has been cleaned and dressed. I’ve got to try and leave it alone as it’s not looking good. So if I say I’m scratching you have permission to have a moan!
I told them how low I was last night. I didn’t tell you this morning but I had a handful of tablets and a glass of water ready to wash them down. Ted jumped at the back of my leg when I was about to put them in my mouth. That made me stop.

I gave them all my meds. They have left me with what I need for tonight and tomorrow morning.

You’re right SM they didn’t judge me, they were pleased I told them.
I’m exhausted now.

Jaquaia
09-11-18, 06:57 PM
I'm not surprised you're exhausted but you've done absolutely brilliantly! (panda)

Strugglingmum
09-11-18, 07:09 PM
Well done you. I'm so proud of you. You are brilliant. Xxx

Allalone
09-11-18, 07:44 PM
Thank you.

I’m on my own now until just after 9pm. I’m going to try and distract myself until then.

Paula
09-11-18, 07:48 PM
I am so proud of you. You’ve done amazingly well today :) We are here for you, lovely

Suzi
09-11-18, 10:08 PM
Well, that was a tough hour and a half. Followed by an afternoon of walking Ted and sitting in the fresh air.


You will all be pleased to know that I’ve been very open an honest with the home treatment team. The wound on my back has been cleaned and dressed. I’ve got to try and leave it alone as it’s not looking good. So if I say I’m scratching you have permission to have a moan!
I told them how low I was last night. I didn’t tell you this morning but I had a handful of tablets and a glass of water ready to wash them down. Ted jumped at the back of my leg when I was about to put them in my mouth. That made me stop.

I gave them all my meds. They have left me with what I need for tonight and tomorrow morning.

You’re right SM they didn’t judge me, they were pleased I told them.
I’m exhausted now.


OMG! That's one of the most positive posts I've heard today! You are amazing! I'm so seriously PROUD of you!!!

Strugglingmum
09-11-18, 10:25 PM
So how's it going? Have you company now?

Allalone
09-11-18, 11:13 PM
Yes. They’ve both been in since 9.30ish but have both been moaning about each other! Teenagers!!
I’m now in bed and trying to relax before the meds kick in. Been scratching though as my anxiety this evening has been quite high.

Fingers crossed for a half decent sleep.

Suzi
09-11-18, 11:30 PM
Could wearing gloves help stop you from scratching? Or take up a hobby that keeps your hands busy? Knitting? Crochet? Colouring? Cross stitch? Painting? Writing?

Strugglingmum
09-11-18, 11:35 PM
Could wearing gloves help stop you from scratching? Or take up a hobby that keeps your hands busy? Knitting? Crochet? Colouring? Cross stitch? Painting? Writing?

Good idea Suzi.

Hope you get a decent sleep hun. Xx

Strugglingmum
10-11-18, 08:25 AM
How did you sleep hun? Xx

Paula
10-11-18, 12:22 PM
Morning, lovely

Suzi
10-11-18, 12:34 PM
Morning lovely, how are you?

Allalone
10-11-18, 01:35 PM
Afternoon

Not a great night hence the late post on here today. I slept from 10.30ish until 2. I then struggled on with negative thoughts until 5 and ended up phoning the HTT.
I dread to think what my back is like. The anxiety is high and I just can’t settle.

I’ve tried gloves, I end up just taking them off! I like colouring but not great with knitting, sewing etc. If I don’t scratch I just use something else.

Strugglingmum
10-11-18, 02:10 PM
I'm glad you phoned. Are they coming to see you today? Have you tried dropping an icecube down your back? Sounds silly but sometimes jerks me out of the self harm mode, or pinging an elastic band around my wrist.
It's going to get better. Talk to them about your sleep as getting your sleep controlled goes a long way to helping you cope. Xx

Paula
10-11-18, 02:54 PM
Big hugs, sweetie. Well done for making that call!

Suzi
10-11-18, 03:37 PM
I'm so glad you called. That's a huge step forward lovely. Asking for help is so hard.

Allalone
10-11-18, 04:08 PM
Thanks all.

HTT have just been. They brought me some promethezine to help ease my anxiety. I can take up to 3 a day. I’ve got temazepam to take for my sleep but not working as well as it was when I started on it 10 days ago.

Strugglingmum
10-11-18, 04:21 PM
Unfortunately your body can get used to night sedation. Maybe they could relook at your dose. You are doing brill. Hope the promethezine works for you. Xx

Allalone
10-11-18, 06:41 PM
Thats what they said today and they need to check with the doctor about a different dose. I’ve taken a promethezine, feeling a little sleepy and a bit more numb than usual.

Going to try and have a colour/sudoku then settle down to watch Strictly.

Paula
10-11-18, 07:54 PM
That sounds like a plan (though I’ve never been able to get sudoku)

Suzi
10-11-18, 09:52 PM
Hope the meds have helped lovely. Did you enjoy Strictly? We loved it!

Allalone
10-11-18, 10:25 PM
They have taken the edge off the anxiety, just feel a bit dozy now!

I loved strictly!! Really surprised to see Danny at the bottom of the leaderboard though. I do like Stacey and Kevin, she has no previous dance background and I think has done really well so far!

Suzi
10-11-18, 10:59 PM
My daughter is a massive fan of Kevin lol... We want Danny to do well, he seems to have lost his mojo a bit over the last few weeks and he's an amazing dancer and all round nice guy and we're all huge Red Dwarf fans!

Strugglingmum
10-11-18, 11:52 PM
Hope you get a better sleep tonight hunni. Glad the promethezine has helped a bit. Xx

Suzi
11-11-18, 10:36 AM
How are you today?

Paula
11-11-18, 11:21 AM
Morning, lovely.

I suspect Danny will go tonight - the furore over the ‘bullying’ will scupper him imo

Strugglingmum
11-11-18, 11:25 AM
Morning huni. How was last night?

Allalone
11-11-18, 11:40 AM
Morning, lovely.

I suspect Danny will go tonight - the furore over the ‘bullying’ will scupper him imo

Morning

I was thinking that last night. He didn’t seem his usual self. I will be watching tonight!

Allalone
11-11-18, 01:17 PM
Afternoon all

I had a good 6 hours sleep but woken by an awful flashback. I ended up sitting outside in the rain until I was settled enough to go back inside. Got a lot of things whizzing around my head today. I’m trying to watch the football(I am a Liverpool supporter) but I can’t sit still.

Strugglingmum
11-11-18, 04:27 PM
How about a big walk with Ted. Xx

Suzi
11-11-18, 06:21 PM
(panda) Hope that you've managed to do something good today too....

Paula
11-11-18, 06:56 PM
How’s the rest of the day gone?

Strugglingmum
11-11-18, 09:02 PM
Hey hun. How you doing???

Allalone
11-11-18, 09:38 PM
Watching Strictly, about 10 mins behind real time so no spoilers please!

Suzi
11-11-18, 11:03 PM
No spoilers from me...

Allalone
11-11-18, 11:07 PM
I’ve watched it now so it’s ok I know who left!

I’m really unsettled tonight. Got an elastic band on my wrist, but it’s just not enough. Any ideas?

Suzi
11-11-18, 11:11 PM
Can you draw? Colour? Sudoku? Read? Watch a box set?

Allalone
11-11-18, 11:16 PM
I’m trying Suzi. Just finished a sudoku, got the colouring book at the ready but I’m not sure if it’s enough.

Strugglingmum
11-11-18, 11:45 PM
Moment by moment. Don't stress about what If, just do what it takes to get thru now. Then try something else. You can always revisit something, sometimes they work sometimes not. Breathe. Focus on your breathing. Keep it slow and calm . Rest in your breathing. Xx

Allalone
11-11-18, 11:56 PM
Thanks. I couldn’t settle in bed so I’m now on the sofa with Ted. I’m fighting with so much stuff going on in my head. I’m trying to colour. FFS

Paula
12-11-18, 08:47 AM
Hi sweetheart. How are you this morning? Did you sleep?

Suzi
12-11-18, 10:43 AM
Hey gorgeous, how are you today?

Allalone
12-11-18, 11:54 AM
Morning

Had a very restless night. My anxiety is through the roof and I’m very emotional. My head seems like a jumbled mess.

Suzi
12-11-18, 12:05 PM
It will do. What you are doing is very strange. Your natural reaction is to run away from everything, but you are starting to look at them face on and work through them. Be kind to yourself.

Allalone
12-11-18, 03:14 PM
I’m not sure what to say. I feel totally hopeless. I’m really struggling today. I’ve tried colouring, sudoku, listening to music, I’ve washed the dishes and done a bit of ironing. I’ve put the tv on and made a cup of tea but still can’t settle and have now starting scratching. The HTT are coming out between 3-6 so hopefully not much longer to wait.

Paula
12-11-18, 04:25 PM
You’re not hopeless. Do you know why? Because despite feeling bloody awful, you’re still trying really hard to make yourself feel better. That makes you a hero in my book!

Allalone
12-11-18, 04:42 PM
Thanks Paula. Crying now. I’m no hero, though. Thinking about the kids isn’t even enough today. I always thought that with my past I would do nothing but put them first.

Strugglingmum
12-11-18, 04:44 PM
Sending hugs. Xx

Jaquaia
12-11-18, 07:00 PM
Sometimes, even despite our best intentions, we get completely overwhelmed and that's ok. That doesn't really matter, well it does but what's more important is how we deal with it. Reach out for the help if you need it (panda)

Suzi
12-11-18, 08:26 PM
I’m not sure what to say. I feel totally hopeless. I’m really struggling today. I’ve tried colouring, sudoku, listening to music, I’ve washed the dishes and done a bit of ironing. I’ve put the tv on and made a cup of tea but still can’t settle and have now starting scratching. The HTT are coming out between 3-6 so hopefully not much longer to wait.
I an so , so, so proud of you for posting here. I know you weren't sure about doing so. I am so proud.


Thanks Paula. Crying now. I’m no hero, though. Thinking about the kids isn’t even enough today. I always thought that with my past I would do nothing but put them first.
She's right, you are a hero. You are fighting and working as hard as you can to get better.

Allalone
12-11-18, 10:45 PM
Well had a tough day and still battling with negative thoughts. I’ve taken a sleeping tablet and hoping that is enough to block these feelings out even if it’s for a few hours. I feel like I’m stuck in a revolving door that just keeps going. You can sometimes see glimpses of getting out but it whizzes past and you’re going round again.

Paula
12-11-18, 10:57 PM
My psychiatrist once told me that there is always a way through. I didn’t believe him at the time but he was right, we did find a way through. And you will, I promise

Suzi
12-11-18, 11:39 PM
Sweetheart you have got through the day. I'm so proud of you!

Suzi
14-11-18, 09:45 AM
Hey sweetheart, how are you doing?

Paula
14-11-18, 10:10 AM
Hi sweetheart, how was yesterday?

Strugglingmum
14-11-18, 01:43 PM
Hey huni. Just saying hi. Xx

Jaquaia
14-11-18, 04:01 PM
You're quiet lovely...

Suzi
14-11-18, 06:50 PM
Just so you know I've sent Allalone a pm and had a reply. She's had a couple of really crappy days, but she's called for help and has had someone with her most of the day and someone else coming out tonight x

Paula
14-11-18, 07:38 PM
Sending you much love, sweetheart (panda)

OldMike
14-11-18, 07:40 PM
(bear) (panda)

Jaquaia
14-11-18, 07:40 PM
(panda)

Strugglingmum
14-11-18, 07:47 PM
Sending big hugs. Xx

Suzi
14-11-18, 07:49 PM
The HTT have left her for the night. She is not in a great place and they are looking to find her an inpatient bed, but there isn't any at the moment. She is currently safe.

Allalone
14-11-18, 11:20 PM
Hi all

Thanks for the support.
As Suzi has said I’ve not had a great couple of days but I have reached out so got some help. I’m still at home the HTT are coming back out in the morning and I have a number to ring tonight if I need to.
I’m off to bed now. Night.x

Jaquaia
14-11-18, 11:23 PM
Hope you manage some sleep lovely (panda)

Paula
15-11-18, 08:14 AM
How are you this morning, lovely? You’re in my thoughts and prayers (bear)

Allalone
15-11-18, 09:19 AM
I had a very restless night. I did get about 4/5 hours sleep initially but after that it wasn’t great. My thoughts weren’t great but managed with a bit of SH and then made a call to the crisis team. They talked to me for a while, calming me down until I was more settled. The HTT are going to phone shortly and will also be out to visit me this morning. I’m very flat, exhausted and emotional but I’ve managed to post on here this morning. Thank you all for the support.xx

Suzi
15-11-18, 09:38 AM
Oh sweetheart I'm sorry you ended up SHing... Did you tell the HTT?
I'm so glad you're posting. It really can help. It's also something that you can show the HTT if you want as people tend to be more honest and open about their feelings on here etc...

Massive hugs (panda)(panda)(panda)

OldMike
15-11-18, 09:41 AM
Please tell the HTT everything, big (((hugs))) (bear) (panda)

Jaquaia
15-11-18, 10:07 AM
(panda)

Allalone
15-11-18, 10:44 AM
The HTT know that I SH, I can’t remember if I told them last night but they always ask when they visit. They have to dress one of them so they keep an eye on the SH.
I’ve just made a cuppa and now going to sit and cuddle Ted until the HTT arrive. He has followed me everywhere for the last few days, which tbh I was getting frustrated with yesterday but I think he knows I’m not in a good place.
Thank you all for looking out for me.xx

Strugglingmum
15-11-18, 11:00 AM
Morning huni. So glad to see you here. Xx

Allalone
15-11-18, 11:19 AM
I’ve got to be honest it was so hard fighting the thoughts but what you said in your PM stuck in my head, thank you.x

Strugglingmum
15-11-18, 12:59 PM
You're welcome huni. All here for each other. X
Hope today goes well. Remember, moment by moment. You are worth fighting for. Keep going. Xx

Paula
15-11-18, 01:54 PM
You're welcome huni. All here for each other. X
Hope today goes well. Remember, moment by moment. You are worth fighting for. Keep going. Xx

I couldn’t agree more!

Suzi
15-11-18, 02:13 PM
Hope today is going on OK lovely.... You're amazing telling them everything and calling for help when you did.

Strugglingmum
15-11-18, 07:55 PM
Hey hunnybun. How are you doing?

Allalone
15-11-18, 08:56 PM
Had another tough one but I’ve had support for the majority of the day so no SH. They are phoning in the next hour to see how I am. I’ve had a couple promethazine so it’s taken the edge off but leaves me feeling a bit numb and sleepy. They said I’m probably going to see the psychiatrist tomorrow I’ll know for definite in the morning.

Strugglingmum
15-11-18, 09:03 PM
I'm so glad you have support. Huni see at the moment, numb and sleepy isn't so bad. If it helps you get through these tough days use it. It's one of your mechanisms of support. Hope you see the psychiatrist tomorrow. Maybe they can help you more with meds. Well done for no SH. That's fantastic. Keep fighting, you're worth it. Xx

Suzi
15-11-18, 09:07 PM
I agree, sleepy and numb is ok for now lovely....
I hope you do get to see the psych tomorrow hunni.

Allalone
15-11-18, 09:30 PM
I’m struggling with sleepy and numb though. Going to talk to the HTT about why. I’m not sure these meds are for me.

Strugglingmum
15-11-18, 09:46 PM
Don't fight it. Sleepy and numb keeps you safer. But yes talk through everything with HTT. Xx

Suzi
15-11-18, 10:12 PM
How long have you been on them at this dose?

Paula
15-11-18, 10:27 PM
I’m struggling with sleepy and numb though. Going to talk to the HTT about why. I’m not sure these meds are for me.

I’ve been there, sweetie, but sleepy and numb got me through the worst. If you had had a severe physical trauma, you’d almost certainly be taking meds that would make you sleepy and numb - and probably wouldn’t question it.....

Allalone
15-11-18, 10:56 PM
A week on the new dose. I’m going to phone, I need help.

Strugglingmum
15-11-18, 11:23 PM
That's good. Phone. Xx

Strugglingmum
16-11-18, 08:45 AM
Morning hunni. How are you?

Paula
16-11-18, 09:49 AM
Hi, sweetie. How was your night? Did you call HTT?

OldMike
16-11-18, 10:29 AM
Sleepy and numb could be a good thing if it keeps you safe and gets you through the worst, just tell the HTT and see what they have to say (bear)

Suzi
16-11-18, 11:09 AM
Hey gorgeous, how are things?

Allalone
17-11-18, 08:53 PM
Thanks for your words of support. After a whirlwind last 24-48 hours I’m more settled. HTT have been fantastic.

Not sure what everyone else is up to this evening but I’m enjoying Strictly! Just hope to stay awake to watch it all. After 3 promethezine today I’m very sleepy��.

Jaquaia
17-11-18, 09:06 PM
I caught up with last weeks Dynasties. Got to love Attenborough. Reading now. Fingers crossed you make it til the end! Glad to hear you're more settled lovely

Allalone
17-11-18, 09:13 PM
Not watched Dynasties yet. I’ll have to put it on my list to watch!

Jaquaia
17-11-18, 09:14 PM
This week is penguins!

Strugglingmum
17-11-18, 09:15 PM
(panda)
Watched strictly too. Xx

Allalone
17-11-18, 09:24 PM
I love penguins!! Moving it to the top of the list now.

Strictly was fab-u-lous, darling!

Not sure how much longer I’ll be awake. I’m nodding while typing this message!

Strugglingmum
17-11-18, 09:34 PM
Hope you get a good sleep huni. X

Allalone
17-11-18, 09:41 PM
Well I’ve had 3 promethezine and I’ve been told to take my sleeping tablet too. I’m hoping for a big long uninterrupted sleep! I’ll let you know in the morning.
Night.xx

Suzi
17-11-18, 10:08 PM
Sleep well lovely..

Strictly was awesome! Looking forward to Dynasties tomorrow too!

Allalone
18-11-18, 08:53 AM
Had restless legs!!!! I did sleep but in blocks of a couple of hours at a time. I’ve checked and it’s the promethezine causing it. I’ve had 3 in a day before and it’s not bothered me. I’m now very tired and frustrated. Got a busy morning ahead and could’ve done with the sleep.

Strugglingmum
18-11-18, 10:03 AM
(panda)

Paula
18-11-18, 10:03 AM
Can you try and pace today, lovely? Oh and, btw, you’re awesome and doing amazingly!

Suzi
18-11-18, 10:24 AM
Hopefully the legs will settle - try drinking tonic water - it's the quinine in it which helps...
Can you get help with everything you want to do today?

Allalone
18-11-18, 02:23 PM
Can you try and pace today, lovely? Oh and, btw, you’re awesome and doing amazingly!

Am I being stupid asking this?! Pace? Is it just a case of trying to take it easy? Or is it a particular technique? Sorry but my brain is numb and on go slow.

Strugglingmum
18-11-18, 03:08 PM
To me pacing is spacing what has to be done out a bit instead of trying to do it all at once or jumping from one task to the next. On days when mojo is low and I have a lot to do I take regular rest breaks or break not so nice jobs up with doing something I enjoy in between. Not sure what it means to other people. We all probably have different ideas

Paula
18-11-18, 05:05 PM
Am I being stupid asking this?! Pace? Is it just a case of trying to take it easy? Or is it a particular technique? Sorry but my brain is numb and on go slow.

No, you’re not being stupid asking this. First you need to know about the Spoon Theory (https://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/). It is a way of explaining the limitations we have to deal with and how to work with those limitations. Once you get the spoon theory, it’s relatively easy to see how pacing works. It’s basically figuring out what activities you are capable of doing in a day, ie what your energy or tolerance levels can cope with, also bearing in mind how much energy you need to save for any future activities (say a long car drive the next day).

So, today might be ‘I have to put the washing on because I’m running out of clean clothes but I’ve got enough food in the house to leave the shopping till tomorrow, so I’ll rest/read a book/do something that has a low activity level

Does that make sense?

Allalone
18-11-18, 05:45 PM
Thanks Paula.
This promethezine is the edge off but it playing havoc with my brain cells!
I’ve just read about the Spoon Theory. I’ve been in tears as I know exactly what she means(not the Lupus) but the choosing what to do etc. Now I’ve got more of an idea of what pacing is.
Having a rollercoaster of a day so I’m now chilling on the sofa with Ted watching Dynasties.

Jaquaia
18-11-18, 08:20 PM
Tonights is on at 8pm (panda)

Suzi
18-11-18, 09:12 PM
(panda) Sorry, I should have explained the spoon theory! My house operates with spoons being a common currency ;)
Dynasties is on now on BBC1 - Penguins!!!!!

Jarre
19-11-18, 09:37 PM
Allalone, sorry your struggling at moment, I have been through EMDR so if you have any questions please ask away.

Suzi
19-11-18, 09:59 PM
Thanks Jarre, I knew you'd be happy to help...

OldMike
25-11-18, 06:13 PM
Spoon theory is a good concept when you're young fit and well you've an almost unlimited amount of energy (physical, mental and emotional) thinksof that energy in terms of spoons of energy but when you're ill the number spoons of energy is limited restricting what you can do, this applies equally to mental and physical health just do what you can and don't over do it as that leads to a spoon deficit in the next and following days, Suzi will explain it in more detail if need be.

Allalone
28-11-18, 08:54 AM
Had a hectic few days with lots going on. I’m exhausted but ok. I’ll be back posting again soon.xx

Suzi
28-11-18, 08:58 AM
Been worried about you! Glad to see you!

Paula
28-11-18, 11:45 AM
Hi Hunni, so glad you’re ok :)

OldMike
28-11-18, 12:26 PM
Glad to see you're okay (bear)

Allalone
29-11-18, 11:53 PM
I’m wide awake and struggling to settle. I’ve coloured for a bit, (had another drink!), tried listening to music, watched tv but focus just isn’t there.
Being part of DWD has really kept me going the last few days, been reading all about what everyone is doing. Got loads going on at home and it’s draining.

Strugglingmum
29-11-18, 11:58 PM
Sending you hugs chum. Xx
I'm just in to bed now. Awaiting sleep. Hope it comes soon for you. X
I changed the bedclothes today so it is kinda nice to be here.
Text me if you need to offload.
(panda)

Suzi
30-11-18, 11:41 AM
Morning gorgeous how are you?

What things have you got to do? Can you delegate any of it to anyone else?

OldMike
30-11-18, 01:25 PM
Just sending you my love (panda)

Allalone
30-11-18, 07:19 PM
Morning gorgeous how are you?

What things have you got to do? Can you delegate any of it to anyone else?

Evening Suzi

I’m tired. It’s the kids, not actually things in the house that’s draining me. I thought my mood was levelling out a bit after the recent increase in AD but feel like it’s on its way down again.

Suzi
30-11-18, 07:37 PM
Want to talk about it lovely?

Paula
30-11-18, 08:26 PM
Big hugs lovely, has the day picked up at all?

Allalone
30-11-18, 09:36 PM
I’ll reply to both of you as I don’t know how to put both quotes into my reply box!! I’m useless with things like this!

Suzi-I probably should but don’t know where to start. I’ve started to so many times in the last few days but it just seemed like a rambling mess when I read it back, so deleted it.

Paula-I’ve kept myself busy after having a flashback this morning. I feel detached/numb.

Jaquaia
30-11-18, 09:42 PM
Bottom right corner of a comment there is quotation marks in a speech bubble with a plus sign. Click on that on the comments you want to quote and it should have a tick. Then click reply to thread!

(panda)

Allalone
01-12-18, 04:06 AM
Getting frustrated now. Had about 3 hours sleep. A flashback woke me again. After grounding myself I’m now trying everything I can to distract myself including posting on here.

Strugglingmum
01-12-18, 05:31 AM
(panda)

Allalone
01-12-18, 06:45 AM
I’ve just realised that it’s the 1st December, going to open the first door of my advent calendar!!(giggle)

Paula
01-12-18, 08:48 AM
Hey, lovely, how are you doing now?

Allalone
01-12-18, 09:13 AM
Hey, lovely, how are you doing now?

I’ve not had anymore sleep so I’m tired but I’ve taken Ted out for a walk, made a cuppa and now going to eat the chocolate from my lovely advent calendar!
Thanks for looking out for me it’s definitely keeping me going.xx

OldMike
01-12-18, 10:59 AM
Advent calendar with chocolate behind the doors, luv it :)

Suzi
01-12-18, 11:37 AM
Can you rest at all during the day lovely?

Allalone
01-12-18, 12:11 PM
Advent calendar with chocolate behind the doors, luv it :)

Well, it’s actually peanut butter and chocolate!(nod) The kids got me it!!(inlove) And two of my three have Lego Star Wars advent calendars and they are 17 and 20!!


Can you rest at all during the day lovely?

I’m going to try to this afternoon but apprehensive as when I stop it’s not making me feel too good.

Suzi
01-12-18, 12:23 PM
Do you have a particular movie or piece of music which helps you feel safe?

Allalone
01-12-18, 12:47 PM
Do you have a particular movie or piece of music which helps you feel safe?

Not anymore, they remind me of my ex. I’ll pick a Disney film and put that on. The HTT told me to avoid sleeping through the day.....how can I help it if I have virtually no sleep?!

Paula
01-12-18, 01:51 PM
It’s important not to get into the habit of sleeping during the day but, if you’re that exhausted, maybe set your alarm and have a 10 minute cat nap. Would that help?

Allalone
01-12-18, 04:19 PM
It’s important not to get into the habit of sleeping during the day but, if you’re that exhausted, maybe set your alarm and have a 10 minute cat nap. Would that help?

I know, my sleep has been off all week and yesterday was the first time I’d had a snooze through the day. I’ve not had a sleep today but not really rested much either. Going to pick the kids up soon then in for the night.

Strugglingmum
01-12-18, 05:23 PM
You got Strictly to stay awake for!!(bear)

Allalone
01-12-18, 06:17 PM
You got Strictly to stay awake for!!(bear)

I’m going to try and stay awake for Strictly!
Got a quiet house tonight.

Strugglingmum
01-12-18, 06:44 PM
(panda)

Allalone
01-12-18, 07:09 PM
I suppose a glass of gin is out of the question?! Might just knock me out for the night?(think)

Suzi
01-12-18, 10:39 PM
Strictly was amazing tonight!
Hope you're doing OK gorgeous...

Allalone
01-12-18, 11:04 PM
I’m restless, no longer feeling tired and on my own tonight.

Suzi
01-12-18, 11:07 PM
What about reading? A box set? Movie? Drawing?

Allalone
01-12-18, 11:19 PM
I’ll be fine, I’ll find something to watch.

Paula
02-12-18, 08:53 AM
(panda)

Suzi
02-12-18, 10:15 AM
Did you sleep? How are you today?

Allalone
03-12-18, 12:23 PM
Aaarrrgghh! My lovely friend has popped in but she’s making me get showered and dressed so we can go for a coffee. I really don’t want to leave the house.:(

Strugglingmum
03-12-18, 12:48 PM
You can do this, it's coffee. You'll be home before you know it.
Change of scenery might help and just doing something that isn't related to being ill. X

Jaquaia
03-12-18, 12:54 PM
You might find it makes you feel better, and if not then you have the "I feel crap but look at what I achieved!" thing to hold on to (panda)

Suzi
03-12-18, 01:22 PM
You can do this! I hope you're having a lovely time. Getting showered is a massive plus, talking to a friend is another plus, going out is another one... See this is a brilliant thing to do!

Paula
03-12-18, 01:35 PM
How’s it going?

Allalone
03-12-18, 04:17 PM
Well I survived. Anxiety was and still is through the roof. We went to a local garden centre and I managed a little walk around and I bought a Christmas wreath collar for Ted. We then went for a cuppa and I had a pot of tea and a cherry scone.
My head is thumping now too.
Just so you all don’t think I never shower, I am showering regularly, I had one yesterday too! It’s become something of a focus with everyone because I couldn’t be bothered a couple of weeks ago.
I’m pretty sure my friend has a hotline to the HTT or vice versa!!

Suzi
03-12-18, 04:55 PM
Woohoo!! Well done you! You went out and you had a tea, a walk, you interacted with people and you bought something! That's awesome! Now you need to rest and pace for the rest of the night.... Proud of you loverly x

Allalone
03-12-18, 05:43 PM
I’ve had to phone the HTT.

Jaquaia
03-12-18, 05:45 PM
Do you want to talk about why? (panda)