PDA

View Full Version : What's the point?



Mattypompy
04-08-18, 04:01 PM
Hello everyone, I hope you're doing as well as possible.

It's been a while since I posted. Firstly I wanted to thank everyone (Suzi and Paula hugely) for previous support

Iv'e been really struggling with my mood and anxiety for the last week. Have been ruminating and very down. I had been house sitting for my sister in a large house with a garden forms few weeks and now I've returned to my very small flat. My morning mood is awful.

The contrast has made me very depressed. I don't want to wake up every morning. I don't get any pleasure from anything. I very rarely see anyone else and have social anxiety. I feel lost and very isolated.

Even last month I had a panic attack on my way to a trip abroad at the airport and cancelled my trip. Last night I went drinking and stupidly fell off my bicycle on the way home and injured my shoulder. I do not know how to he out of this mind set. I saw my Psychiatrist yesterday and we have decided to change my meds soon.

Can you help please.

Matt

Paula
04-08-18, 04:07 PM
Hi Matt and welcome back. I’m so sorry you’re struggling so badly but well done for being proactive and getting to see your psychiatrist. Did your doctor talk about other support in helping you to socialise a bit more? Have you thought about talking therapies like CBT?

I’m going to nag a little bit here - alcohol is a depressant and will make you feel worse, along with reducing the positive effects of your ADs. And, as you found last night, often ends up with physical injuries .......

Mattypompy
04-08-18, 04:37 PM
Hi Paula,

Thanks for the quick reply.

Nagging appropriate and well taken. I hadn't drunk for a while and got a bit carried away. I know its not good but sometimes I use it as a temporary anti anxiety measure. Not as much as I used too.

I have done a lot of CBT over the years and still have all my notes although I do tend to forget the exercises without refreshing. I've actually recently completed a 3 month course of ACT too. This is a work in progress. I just have no inclination to interact with people as I find it an unpleasant experience, unless drinking, but am lonely at times too. That's the paradox. I need to have some goals, live healthy and socialise. But its easier said than done when one is apathetic and listless.

Thank you. Hope you're well.

M

Suzi
04-08-18, 10:44 PM
Cor you got away lightly with Paula's alcohol nag - mine is well rehearsed and much longer!

ACT is a great therapy - my husband has completed a very long course of psychotherapy and act. It's changed our lives so much!

What do you do to get out and meet people? What hobbies do you have?

Paula
05-08-18, 08:10 AM
Do you think it was the space you had at your sisters house that helped, or the garden? Could you look at getting an allotment or maybe volunteering for gardening duties at a local national trust property?

Mattypompy
06-08-18, 06:56 AM
Just got back from hospital yesterday. Snapped my collar bone in two, what a doofus. Funny thing I have just applied to do some gardening with the council in allotments and old folks homes but am now out of action.

Think the contrast from my sisters large house/garden to my small flat but feel a bit more phlegmatic. I have a book by Russ Harris and trying to implement decision currently.

I'm pretty shy and anti social unless drinking. Pretty sure self esteem/anxiety is the root cause.

Hope you're grand.

M

Sissy
06-08-18, 08:36 AM
Hey there, I am rather new forum user and we probably don't know each other at all yet. I don't want to nag about alcohol since others already mentioned it, I simply say I kinda see it lifts your selfesteem and pushes away feelings. But then that all comes back morning after.

I think you had a good idea in helping others in gardening, because every one needs that feeling their work - no matter what kind of work- is needed. Recover from your minor meeting with the ground and then do what you were planning to. Pretty much every one has done something not so smart while drunk, so let's say that was one of those things in life my guy (I refer to him as Le dude) calls "oh sh*t moments". Le dude is a heavy drinker and injures him self alot while drinking, so sadly I am abit too familiar with those injuries.

But hope your medication is changed to something that better helps you, and you get to do something that makes you feel joy again. To me it has been taking care of animals. When I was just diagnosed and no medication I had tried that far had helped me, I spent most of my time volunteerily working in local cat shelter. It made a difference. Not only to cats, but to the shelter staff and myself as well. That's where I got my crazy cat lady starter kit, and realised what was the thing in life I needed for my own happiness. So more than anything else right now I hope you find that sparkle for you. Let it be gardening, helping people, or anything that makes you feel good. And please let us try to support you. Not only because it hopefully helps you, but it helps us others as well.

OldMike
06-08-18, 08:55 AM
That's a marvelous post Sissy and I echo all you said :)

Paula
06-08-18, 11:42 AM
Ouch! Try to take it easy, hunni (panda)

Suzi
06-08-18, 12:05 PM
Hope you're being kind to yourself....

Mattypompy
17-08-18, 04:03 AM
Hey there, I am rather new forum user and we probably don't know each other at all yet. I don't want to nag about alcohol since others already mentioned it, I simply say I kinda see it lifts your selfesteem and pushes away feelings. But then that all comes back morning after.

I think you had a good idea in helping others in gardening, because every one needs that feeling their work - no matter what kind of work- is needed. Recover from your minor meeting with the ground and then do what you were planning to. Pretty much every one has done something not so smart while drunk, so let's say that was one of those things in life my guy (I refer to him as Le dude) calls "oh sh*t moments". Le dude is a heavy drinker and injures him self alot while drinking, so sadly I am abit too familiar with those injuries.

But hope your medication is changed to something that better helps you, and you get to do something that makes you feel joy again. To me it has been taking care of animals. When I was just diagnosed and no medication I had tried that far had helped me, I spent most of my time volunteerily working in local cat shelter. It made a difference. Not only to cats, but to the shelter staff and myself as well. That's where I got my crazy cat lady starter kit, and realised what was the thing in life I needed for my own happiness. So more than anything else right now I hope you find that sparkle for you. Let it be gardening, helping people, or anything that makes you feel good. And please let us try to support you. Not only because it hopefully helps you, but it helps us others as well.

Hi Sissy.

Really sorry for the delay in thanking you for you lovely, thoughtful and wise post. I have been in a lot of pain and codeined up so not ideal for typing! I saw the surgeon on Monday. Although it is quite a well displaced fracture he thinks I may get away without surgery. I have a review in a couple of weeks. I am a fool though. I don't learn my lessons. My sister calls me Frank Spencer and friend Mr Topsy Turvy! Weird ly my mood has lifted a little as the pain has worked as a cognitive distraction. I'm trying to be healthy and engage in gentle exercises may go to the Spa tomorrow.

You are correct about finding a purpose and validation. That's what I have to do next. I have a few leads like gardening etc I also love animals and especially cats. I miss mine. She died a few years back nearly 20 years old! I'd like another but have no space here.

I have a backpacking trip booked for Eastern Europe in about 10 days, hopefully the pain will be manageable. I do need to mature a bit though and not cycle intoxicated. Next time it could be my brain or spine. I'm going to try Escitalopram on my return and carry on with the ACT. You're correct Suzi it is a good therapy.

I wholeheartedly agree with all the suggestions and sentiments.


Thanks Paula and Suzi for the good wishes too. Hope you're well.

Bye for now and be well.(bear)

M

Suzi
17-08-18, 09:52 AM
Glad your appointment went well with the surgeon lovely.
Where abouts are your backpacking? Take loads and loads of photos and make millions of memories x

Mattypompy
20-08-18, 02:10 AM
Hi Suzi,

Going to Bratislava and Budapest. Just got a new good Smartphone as bent the other one in the accident! Contract was nearly up anyway. I'm going on my own but it should be interesting if I actually get on the plane lol

Food and drink is quite cheap so, let's get after it!(party)

Be well M(rock)

Paula
20-08-18, 08:47 AM
Sounds like an amazing opportunity :)

Suzi
20-08-18, 09:08 AM
OO I loved Budapest when I went many years ago! Make sure you go and look round the indoor markets and the baths, climb the mountain and definitely go round the castle district!

Mattypompy
21-08-18, 05:29 AM
Thanks Ladies. I may go in the baths for therapy for my shoulder.(whew)

Suzi
21-08-18, 10:50 AM
Absolutely! :)