View Full Version : Hello

30-07-18, 09:56 PM

I am new.

I have dissociative identity disorder and there is a part of me that is depressed. Other parts are not. That is hard to handle too because i feel like no-one including myself understands what it feels like to feel useless, alone, sad and a waste of space.

Not sure whether you can completely relate to this but I hope people can relate to feeling sad and miserable and like you cannot function


30-07-18, 09:59 PM
Hi Julie and welcome to DWD.
Everyone here is really friendly and supportive....

Are you speaking to your Dr? Do you have a good support network?

30-07-18, 10:48 PM
Thank-you Suzi for your reply and thoughtfulness.

I don't really speak to my doctor. Only when I need diazepam ( for emergency situations)

I am my support network really. Think I find it difficult with people helping/knowing my feelings etc. Feels vulnerable and I have been badly hurt in therapy.

Plus a have a husband who tries his best but can make things worse at times

I have friends but they do not know my all /extent of my problems and I like it that why. They support by being who they are.

I live in a beautiful place which helps

I like listening to music which is great support and I play the drums

30-07-18, 11:06 PM
Hi Julie and welcome. Other than the diazepam, what medications/treatment are you taking?

30-07-18, 11:15 PM
Hello Paula,

Thank-you for your welcome

propanolol p.r.n

31-07-18, 12:08 PM
Have you ever taken anything long term such as an antidepressant?
Would you try a different form of therapy?

31-07-18, 04:17 PM
Have you ever taken anything long term such as an antidepressant?
Would you try a different form of therapy?

I don't wish to take antidepressants. I appreciate they may be appropriate for many and helpful to many but my experience hasn't been. My experience has been negative.

I do not wish to go to therapy currently . I will maybe in the future but it is not the right things for me now

I am preferring self help, self love, acceptance, strengthening my connection to partner and friends and others, walking in the countryside, listening to music, yoga, journalling, writing and playing the drums.

Thank-you for your kindness in thinking of me,

sending kindness and love your way .

Hope your day is feeling right for you


31-07-18, 04:28 PM
I am also wanting to look at my feelings of feeling sad, alone, useless.. I am wanting to feel them not disown them, dissociate away from them, avoid them. I am wanting to sit with them however hard.I am wanting to show myself compassion and love for the person I was who was hurt and abandoned as a child and be there for that part of me.

Ideally I would like other people to accept I have feelings and sit with me but it is a big ask for many. Many have their own issues or disowned pain which is huge and i know because i find dealing with other peoples feelings hard. I find it hard because triggers my feelings which have not been processed so I would rather not feel what they are feeling. It is so hard to feel, to feel what my body is feeling, to feel what my mind is feeling, to accept and to just be. I am lucky I have a husband who is trying to do that.

I know I am safe now. I know there is no threat. I know I have choices now. It is hard to let feelings come and go.

I will keep on trying

31-07-18, 05:03 PM
Thank-you everyone for your responses and wanting to help

A Crab
31-07-18, 05:24 PM
Welcome, I'm new too, I know how you feel about the antidepressants, I was on a couple different types for a while but I never noticed any effect apart from side effects so I ended up stopping. Though, I do still respect that it depends on the person and type of anti. Might head down the doctors at some point and have a chat with him about different ones or a different route for sure

All the best

31-07-18, 06:40 PM
Hello and welcome A Crab,

Thank-you for your response and sharing your experience

Yes always good to review things I agree. No harm in having a conversation.

I'm always up to reconsider options at every point of my journey ( that is life!).

Thanks again and all the best too,


31-07-18, 06:53 PM
Hi Julie welcome to DWD.

31-07-18, 06:55 PM
Thank-you OldMike for your welcome :)

31-07-18, 11:08 PM
Have you tried mindfulness?

01-08-18, 12:16 AM
Hi suzi,
Yes I have. Always trying to stay in the present day as have PTSD
Good site insight timer if you are looking for meditation
Headspace app also for mindfulness

I don’t do much meditation more just staying present and noticing feelings and connecting to myself and environment, that is what helps me with staying in the present . No quick fix I know , is a journey for me. Dealing with feelings and accepting them is hard. Trying to stay within the window of tolerance always. Sometimes employing good distraction techniques too when needed. Not easy any of it .

Thank-you for caring and looking at further solutions for me