View Full Version : Mirtazapine effects & mood gym *SU Trigger*
Yes I've seen some advertised. Our government has actually put printable cards on their website that you can just download and print off. We have only been mask compulsory this week so we are a bit behind you guys I think.
I was shopping yesterday and while most people were wearing masks, there were a few who were not and tbh no one gave them a second look. I am just so scared of someone challenging me that I persevere with it but I am constantly pulling it out from my face to breath. It only takes me 20 mins to run round Asda so I'm managing it so far.
Thats the reason I don't go in for fear of somebody challenging me it just stresses me out.
Stella180
13-08-20, 12:06 AM
Ive been trying to get a hidden disability lanyard & card which I think will help although ills still be the odd one out if everyone's wearing a mask.
The Sunflower Lanyard is NOT an excuse to get out of wearing a mask. It is to instruct staff that you have a condition that may involve you needing extra help and support. That said anxiety is on the list of conditions that are exempt from wearing a mask however my advice is to at least try giving the mask a go. Yes it is uncomfortable and unusual but it is for safety.
If however you feel that the lanyard is something that is beneficial to you other that not wearing a mask then go ahead. I’m all for the scheme and it’s made a big difference to me.
The Sunflower Lanyard is NOT an excuse to get out of wearing a mask. It is to instruct staff that you have a condition that may involve you needing extra help and support. That said anxiety is on the list of conditions that are exempt from wearing a mask however my advice is to at least try giving the mask a go. Yes it is uncomfortable and unusual but it is for safety.
If however you feel that the lanyard is something that is beneficial to you other that not wearing a mask then go ahead. I’m all for the scheme and it’s made a big difference to me.
I never said it was an excuse not to wear a mask, the idea was that it would help me to get out and into the shops if I had something like that incase people confronted me as to why I wasn't wearing one.
As SM has said, you can just go onto the gov.uk website and print something off to explain why you’re not wearing a mask. You can do that today (https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/903453/Exemption_from_face_covering_badge_to_print.pdf)
Yes so far they've mainly been bad days or meh days using an app called daylio.
Are you just tracking the whole day? I've not heard of that app, hence I'm asking. Try tracking first thing you get up, morning, lunch, afternoon, evening, just before bed
Ive been trying to get a hidden disability lanyard & card which I think will help although ills still be the odd one out if everyone's wearing a mask.
Go to the hidden disabilities website and order one ;)
Although my husband and my children have fought through the anxiety by buying material ones which are much more comfortable than the hospital style ones..
Stella180
13-08-20, 12:44 PM
I never said it was an excuse not to wear a mask, the idea was that it would help me to get out and into the shops if I had something like that incase people confronted me as to why I wasn't wearing one.
My point is many people are abusing the scheme and think the sunflower lanyard is for mask exemption when it is nothing of the sort. There is no actual mask exemption “symbol”. If you can’t wear a mask don’t wear a mask. SM and Paula are right you can print out cards at home but again it’s not necessary.
My point is many people are abusing the scheme and think the sunflower lanyard is for mask exemption when it is nothing of the sort. There is no actual mask exemption “symbol”. If you can’t wear a mask don’t wear a mask. SM and Paula are right you can print out cards at home but again it’s not necessary.
https://hiddendisabilitiesstore.com/hidden-disabilities-face-covering.html
Stella180
17-08-20, 12:48 AM
I’m fully aware. I have one myself due to respiratory conditions. What I am telling you is that the scheme is not just about face masks and if you didn’t need the scheme before and you don’t need the scheme after the face masks are no longer necessary, then you don’t need it now.
Strugglingmum
17-08-20, 09:05 AM
John those are fab aren't they!!
The sunflower lanyard, I believe, was designed with autism/asperger's/ sensory issues in mind....and Im sure other conditions I am not aware of long before this awful pandemic started.
Facemasks are not going away anywhere fast so if it makes you feel easier to cope with shopping etc or being out in public then invest in one. Mental illness could definitely be classed as a hidden disability in my book so while it may not be the original intention, I believe if it makes life easier get one.
I know people who have autism etc are concerned that other people using the lanyard may belittle their relevance or effectiveness but I dont think it will......if anything it has raised awareness of what they mean.
You could always print off one of the govt cards discussed before and attach it to any lanyard to wear.
It's all about just giving each other respect to cope in a hard time. I have been in shops here where people haven't been wearing masks and none has said a word.
I really struggle with masks too but I try and mostly manage, but sometimes I have to take it off even just for a few moments to breath. Most people give you a sympathetic or understanding look.....if they even notice.
Whatever you decide, it has to work for you.
I agree, I don't think you need anything - the only time people are being challenged around here is public transport heading into London. If you don't want to/can't wear one then don't! It really is that simple.
The hidden disabilities scheme is amazing and I agree with Stella there are a lot of people who are now picking up on it and abusing it because they don't need it, they are using it as an exemption and because you don't need any id or "proof" for it anyone can get one and it is watering down the impact and what it actually stands for...
Well I managed to go shopping Monday with my girlfriend, I felt really anxious and almost stayed in the car. I tucked the sunflower lanyard inside my t-shirt so it was hidden it was just there as backup & to calm me.
Strugglingmum
19-08-20, 02:00 PM
I'm glad you managed it. Well done.
Thought things were looking up then today I get a message from work just as I was about to walk to the local shop with my partner which has set off my anxiety feeling sick again panicking etc and all it says is can you update me on your situation.
I mentioned 2 weeks ago that my meds had been increased and it'll take a few weeks to see if there working I know it's his job to see how I'm doing and get an update but it just puts the pressure back on, I was aiming to go into work at the end of the week just to try and get in the building and get my chocolate bar like the dr tasked me.
I've sat silent for the last few hours worrying what to reply now
Thought things were looking up then today I get a message from work just as I was about to walk to the local shop with my partner which has set off my anxiety feeling sick again panicking etc and all it says is can you update me on your situation.
I mentioned 2 weeks ago that my meds had been increased and it'll take a few weeks to see if there working I know it's his job to see how I'm doing and get an update but it just puts the pressure back on, I was aiming to go into work at the end of the week just to try and get in the building and get my chocolate bar like the dr tasked me.
I've sat silent for the last few hours worrying what to reply now
I’d say pretty much what you’ve said here - it says it all
I finally messaged back said I'm late reply as whenever I get a message from you (boss) it feels like I've been hit by a sledgehammer.
He was great said he just wanted an update and that he's never pressured me etc told him I felt bad like I was letting him down etc.
That's a great reply from him. Well one for being brave enough to email him the truth about how you are feeling.
Strugglingmum
20-08-20, 10:32 AM
He sounds very understanding. Hope today is less stressful
Tried to go into work Friday told my friend I would pop in but as the time got nearer I bottled it. I think next time I'm not going to tell anyone and just try and go in,so that's the aim for this week.
Strugglingmum
23-08-20, 04:07 PM
Well done for not giving up and being prepared to try again!!
Yes might be easier if you feel there is no pressure to appear. Hope you manage it. Its great to have goals.
Just pop in and buy a chocolate bar or an apple or just aim to park the car, then go home. Next time park and get out of the car and go home. Then park, get out and walk to the door and go home. Then one step inside. Then 2 steps, then build it up. Doesn't matter if it takes all week, one step at a time and make things your choice - not leaving because you couldn't cope, but because you are choosing to go home...
Managed to go shopping again yesterday although i panicked alot aldi is just too busy and the constant tannoy announcements were too much.
I'm really annoyed went to the post office today with my partner i walked in and straight away a lady behind a big screen shouted where's your mask? i explained i was exempt and showed them the lanyard i had on to which she said have i a face mask except card.
I was fuming got told she wasn't going to serve me and that i had to leave the shop this is exactly why i haven't bothered going out.
I've emailed the post office complaints and im waiting for a call back hopefully tomorrow but im so angry.
Stella180
01-09-20, 06:22 PM
She has no right to ask for an exemption card because it’s not a requirement. She sounds like a bit of cow.
She has no right to ask for an exemption card because it’s not a requirement. She sounds like a bit of cow.
Can she refuse to serve me? I've had a little look online but im not sure,as some say if you've no exemption card they can ask you to leave?
This is from gov.uk
“Exemption cards
Those who have an age, health or disability reason for not wearing a face covering should not be routinely asked to give any written evidence of this, this includes exemption cards. No person needs to seek advice or request a letter from a medical professional about their reason for not wearing a face covering.
Some people may feel more comfortable showing something that says they do not have to wear a face covering. This could be in the form of an exemption card, badge or even a home-made sign.
This is a personal choice and is not necessary in law.”
Stella180
01-09-20, 07:18 PM
Technically any shop can refuse to serve anyone however there is no “official” exemption card because we are all expected to self monitor. It’s a funny time cos nobody really has a clue what the hell to do. It appears that disability discrimination has gone out the window thanks to this pandemic.
My girlfriend was going to go take the parcel tomorrow but id quite like to do it as i don't want her to get away with it,and i dont want her putting me off but its how to approach the subject if i walk in and she refuses to serve me i'm kinda stuck.
I agree with the others, there is no legal need to wear a face mask, and no such need for an exemption card.
You could go back and make a scene if she refuses to serve you or you could leave the complaint to run and go elsewhere to post it.
Have you managed to go into tesco to get your chocolate bar yet?
I'm going to go back tomorrow morning hopefully catch the chap who's in charge and as long as its not busy tell him about the way she was,not that it'll do alot.
No I'm going to my gf's parents tomorrow so I plan on going in on the way home that's if I don't bottle it again.
#how much have you been out of the house since you last posted?
Stella180
01-09-20, 09:07 PM
I recently bought one of these badges for the laugh
https://www.pocketperfectdesigns.co.uk/ourshop/prod_7242298-Mask-Exempt-Badge.html
I recently bought one of these badges for the laugh
https://www.pocketperfectdesigns.co.uk/ourshop/prod_7242298-Mask-Exempt-Badge.html
LOL I hope you got the swearing version
#how much have you been out of the house since you last posted?
I went shopping monday again but wanted to leave found aldi very stressful it was too busy no social distancing, I was panicking and wanted to just leave the shopping and go but I stayed, although It didn't go down well with my girlfriend who said I should stay in the car next time as I was stressing her out.
Hopefully go to the post office tomorrow with partner
Tbh I'd rather stay in and avoid everyone still
Stella180
01-09-20, 10:44 PM
LOL I hope you got the swearing version
Absolutely!
My top tip for supermarkets if you need somewhere that feels less busy as the lighting is different and the aisles are wider is Morrison... It's the only supermarket my 2 children with ASD and my husband with ASD and MH issues can shop...
Strugglingmum
02-09-20, 10:42 AM
My top tip for supermarkets if you need somewhere that feels less busy as the lighting is different and the aisles are wider is Morrison... It's the only supermarket my 2 children with ASD and my husband with ASD and MH issues can shop...
That's good to know Suzi....we dont have Morrisons over here but I always find Llidl are the easiest for less crowds and wide aisles over here...... I just can never find what I need!! :P
Stella180
02-09-20, 12:37 PM
Most supermarkets are still doing priority hours which tend to be quieter. Might be worth looking into at your local store.
Yes the last few weeks we've been going to lidl our old lidl closed and relocated up the road with a brand new store,partner prefers aldi but its too busy and noisy for me.
I chickened out about going into the post office my gf went in it was a different lady anyway gf told the lady about how I was spoken to she said the lady's had a few run ins with other people about face masks.
You need to change your mindset. It's not chickening out - it's choosing not to take that option. The more you allow this to control you the more it will. You need to take control of it and that starts with your mindset....
Well was planning on going into work tonight managed to pull into the car park then I bottled it again when I noticed a manager was standing on the entrance, the more I sat there trying to convince myself to go inI the more I wanted my gf to start the car and just get out of there.
My partner didn't help telling me to hurry up and not to be long adding to the pressure. We ended up arguing as I feel I'm better off going on my own and doing it in my own time but Im to scared to leave the house by myself.
Maybe I'm using that as an excuse.
Had a crap day my gran passed away this afternoon
Stella180
02-09-20, 10:15 PM
Oh John, sorry about your Gran. Maybe today wasn’t the right day for it.
Strugglingmum
02-09-20, 10:16 PM
So sorry about your gran. Please be gentle with yourself. (bear)
I’m so sorry for your loss, hunni. Please give yourself time and space to be kind to you (panda)
Oh John, sorry about your Gran. Maybe today wasn’t the right day for it.
Thanks.
I don't think it's hit me yet.
She was 94 I can't help but feel guilty as I used to see every weekend and visit once a week when I could drive she was my 2nd mum, since her dementia got worse and she had to go into a home I've only seen her twice as it was heartbreaking seeing her the way she was she didn't recognise me anymore and I stopped going a few years ago as it wasn't the way I wanted to remember her.
And yet I can't help but feel guilty for not going.
Stella180
02-09-20, 10:44 PM
I get where you are coming from. I don’t think I would be strong enough to support someone with such a horrible illness and see them disappear before your eyes.
Sorry about your gran..
Please try to be kind and patient with your GF. It's bloo(y hard being the other person when you don't know what's going on in someone's mind and don't understand how things really are...
Sorry about your gran..
Please try to be kind and patient with your GF. It's bloo(y hard being the other person when you don't know what's going on in someone's mind and don't understand how things really are...
Thank you.
I know had a conversation with my mental health practitioner today told him about my anger flaring up he just said its probably because your trying to get out and about and out my comfort zone.
He's spoke to my psychiatrist since the last time I spoke to him and there arranging a cpn assessment he mentioned a bit about what could happen it's immediately put me off having a stranger coming round
Why has it put you off? A cpn is an amazing resource to be given - they are so overworked and with so few of them around atm... They can be brilliant and really, really help - but as with anything you have to want it to help and be open to it in the first place.
Strugglingmum
03-09-20, 07:03 PM
Tbh I wouldn't have made it through last few years without my CPN. They have been lifesaving for me... literally. I would always say dont dismiss it without trying. I feel blessed to have been offered the resource and for me it has really worked.
Stella180
03-09-20, 07:22 PM
Believe me if you get a CPN you are extremely lucky. They are a rare commodity these days. It would really help you to have someone supporting you, someone to talk to and help you get out, teach you new coping mechanisms etc. If you get that offer take it.
I'm no good talking to new people it just panics me, plus it's the thought of being judged. My homes my safe zone, one of the reasons I don't go out is fear of other people
Stella180
03-09-20, 07:36 PM
Mate I absolutely 100% know how you feel. I’m the same way but sometimes we have to be brave to get the help we need. They’re not going to judge you but they will observe and support you toward getting better. Yeah it’s big and it’s scary right now but if it helps you it’s gonna be worth it.
Whoever is your cpn will have seen people in all kinds of situations. I promise you that this is not a punishment, it's not designed to be a problem for you, but to help you. You just have to let them in and talk to them. They aren't going around snooping, not judging, just trying to help. I know that if it wasn't for the first CPN my husband had things would have been so very different. Really, try not to judge them before you've even met them.
Finally updated my address online with my doctors the other day, had to sooner or later as my parents are moving closer to me and today I've received a letter saying I'm outside there catchment area, I'll receive a letter with surgery's closer to me or go on the NHS choices website (which is currently down!)
I'm worried as the doctors in the village is tiny and always has people complaining l, they also don't have any mental health practitioners that's the main thing I'm worried about losing
How long have you been out of the catchment area?
In all honesty, if they think you need the support you can be referred to your local CMHT. You've hated your MH practitioner messing you around anyway...
I've been out the catchment area for almost 5 years but always used parents home address.
I don't like change just worried that the village doctors won't have any mental health services, also the mental health practitioner knows about what's go on and I don't really want to have to start all over again
Every doctors has access to refer you to a CMHT if they can't support you there. Really and truly you shouldn't have been falsely have been accessing any of the facilities when knowing that you were doing so....
Strugglingmum
16-09-20, 03:34 PM
Change isn't nice, none of us really enjoy it or cope well with it but having your GP local has so many benefits. You may be surprised at how much actually is available and how knowledgeable your new GP is. Quite often in the absence of a specialist the GPs become very well versed and up to date in treatment options etc.
Every doctors has access to refer you to a CMHT if they can't support you there. Really and truly you shouldn't have been falsely have been accessing any of the facilities when knowing that you were doing so....
The doctors have my old address but psychiatrist and when I've had cbt etc all have my current address.
Not really the point love, you've been accessing services meant for someone else who lives in that area.
As I said, you should be able to have access to a CMHT where you are now.
Not really the point love, you've been accessing services meant for someone else who lives in that area.
As I said, you should be able to have access to a CMHT where you are now.
I agree but if you look at it that way somebody else has benefited in the area I'm supposed to be.
Had my last appointment with the mental health practitioner yesterday there's nothing he can do he's abit concerned now as I have no gp. I mentioned I was concerned about being back at square one again, the practice he's at he's 1 of 2 in our county in his position.
He did mention calling the practice manager and seeing if they'd take me on,but it wouldn't be very likely.
He called the psychiatrist centre and updated them about the situation which he hoped would speed things up.
Theres no way I'm going into the village to register at a new practice if only it could be done over the phone.
I've been reading all the reviews and the receptionists are getting horrible feedback.
Dr's receptionists ALWAYS get horrible feedback - after all they are the gatekeepers to the Drs! However if you talk to them, explaining your situation I'm sure they will do what they can to help.
No one can make you register with them, but without a GP you are going to struggle/not be able to access any form of NHS help.
This morning I had my cpn assessment over the phone, the guy told me he was recommending one for me.
Had a call from work just a catch up went well then towards the end he dropped in were going to try and support you more by getting occupational health involved (sweat) which instantly made me feel sick and I'm now panicking like mad.
I asked him if that meant they were going to get rid of me he said no occupational health will do a report and work out how best they can support me?
I don't really trust them anyone else offer any advice on what I can expect?
Why don’t you trust them? Have you experience with OH before?
Why don’t you trust them? Have you experience with OH before?
Just all the trouble I've had with them in the past messing up wages, ESA trouble then being told I was lying to managers about never telling them I could only work 14 hrs which was complete rubbish as I've proof. They've just caused me alot more stress everytime.
No I've never dealt with OH before I'm worried there going to turn round and say get rid of me
Occupational Health are there to assess and see how they can help you stay in your job if possible. Really, they are not the enemy.
Who don't you trust? You say you don't trust them, but you've not had any input from them before?
Stella180
09-10-20, 01:12 PM
OH are there to help. Any reasonable adjustments that are needed to make your time at work easier can by implemented through them but you need to be open and honest with them so they can help.
Occupational Health are there to assess and see how they can help you stay in your job if possible. Really, they are not the enemy.
Who don't you trust? You say you don't trust them, but you've not had any input from them before?
It's work I don't trust
Had a rubbish day received a text and email stating the OH date and time which is next Tuesday over the phone. My anxiety is high atm worrying about what there going to ask
Probably what they can do to help you....
Don't fight the OT. They are there to help. If you are finding it hard to talk to them tell them. If something they ask raises your anxiety, tell them. If they suggest something you think might help, tell them. If they suggest something that you don't think will help, tell them.... Get the jist? :)
Stella180
13-10-20, 12:10 PM
I was asked to see OH when I was last working. The company wanted to know what it would take to get me back to work ASAP, and any measures to be put in place to make that happen. The person I was was independent asked my details about what my problem was, how it affected me. Basically no different to see your GP. They told me what they would inform my employer, in my case that regardless of how long I had been off work I was still not ready to go back to work in their opinion for at least 6-8 weeks. Yeah it’s scary talking to a complete stranger but it’s definitely a good thing.
I was asked to see OH when I was last working. The company wanted to know what it would take to get me back to work ASAP, and any measures to be put in place to make that happen. The person I was was independent asked my details about what my problem was, how it affected me. Basically no different to see your GP. They told me what they would inform my employer, in my case that regardless of how long I had been off work I was still not ready to go back to work in their opinion for at least 6-8 weeks. Yeah it’s scary talking to a complete stranger but it’s definitely a good thing.
I'm still really nervous the only issue I have is who sees all this information at work as when I was off the first time it should have been kept private but everyone knew the reason I'd been off when I went back which made it harder.
I'm just worried they'll turn round and say its going to take too long to get back to work.
All I've been doing is waiting on the cpn assessment and now waiting for a letter to when I'll get the help. Doesn't seem like I'm doing alot which worries me.
Are you pushing yourself to do the basics? Get up, get washed, get dressed, help do chores around the house? Go out to somewhere to go and get a chocolate bar or a newspaper etc?
Are you pushing yourself to do the basics? Get up, get washed, get dressed, help do chores around the house? Go out to somewhere to go and get a chocolate bar or a newspaper etc?
Some days it's hard to get up I don't sleep properly anymore and always downstairs. Have to have background noise.
I've not been out the house much since the post office incident,especially over the last 2 weeks due to the virus rate going up.
I've lost the mental health practitioner who was helping me due to leaving the Dr's + no longer have a doctors so I'm waiting on the nurse.
Would you be able to go for a walk?
Would you be able to go for a walk?
I sometimes walk our dog but I'll go round a field when I know nobody's in there.
Walking the dog tends to trigger negative thoughts feeling worthless etc as I struggle to walk a dog when it's something that should be so simple.
I find it easier to just sit in home and hide away
Some days it's hard to get up I don't sleep properly anymore and always downstairs. Have to have background noise.
I've not been out the house much since the post office incident,especially over the last 2 weeks due to the virus rate going up.
I've lost the mental health practitioner who was helping me due to leaving the Dr's + no longer have a doctors so I'm waiting on the nurse.
I sometimes walk our dog but I'll go round a field when I know nobody's in there.
Walking the dog tends to trigger negative thoughts feeling worthless etc as I struggle to walk a dog when it's something that should be so simple.
I find it easier to just sit in home and hide away
You are going to have to get your sleeping and eating and washing etc sorted. It's not easy or straightforward, but what about headphones in to help you sleep?
You are going to have to get your sleeping and eating and washing etc sorted. It's not easy or straightforward, but what about headphones in to help you sleep?
My eatings not to bad but its my partner who Is always cooking but I think she's starting to feel the strain, relationship seems to be going downhill or maybe it's me thinking negative.
I've tried headphones in but there uncomfortable to wear to fall asleep in.
Nothing seems easy anymore even the simplist tasks, look back and it just makes you feel even more worthless.
I don't think I'm going to sleep much tonight worrying.
Do you use wireless in ear pods? Both my husband and daughter do this to help them sleep
Or you can get pillows or headbands which have headphones built in....
You have to start with the basics and make sure you are doing those.
Have you spoken to your partner about how you are feeling? Actually told them that you are struggling? Asked for their support, rather than just assuming you have it?
Stella180
20-10-20, 10:17 AM
https://smile.amazon.co.uk/dp/B089GD4VDP/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_VuPJFbZ55N2W9?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
Or you can get pillows or headbands which have headphones built in....
You have to start with the basics and make sure you are doing those.
Have you spoken to your partner about how you are feeling? Actually told them that you are struggling? Asked for their support, rather than just assuming you have it?
Like I said before we don't really talk anymore I think it's just become the norm now,often wonder what we're even doing together anymore, I'm sure it would be easier without me.
Do you use wireless in ear pods? Both my husband and daughter do this to help them sleep
I've only over the ear headphones atm I'm not on the Bluetooth wagon yet.
Strugglingmum
20-10-20, 10:50 AM
I'm going to share something with you. I'm not sure if it applies in your situation or not as I know nothing about your relationship.
When my depression was really bad, I thought I wanted to break up my marriage. I didn't have the energy for a relationship, I had nothing to give to anyone, it was just another stressor. We weren't talking, it was something else to feel a failure over, I took my frustration etc out on him. I wasnt sure I was even capable of loving anyone.....especially not myself. My emotions were completely numb.
However, as I started to engage in meds, therapy, etc and was finally able to look outside myself I realised that I still deeply loved my husband. Would he have been better off without me and all the heartache? Maybe, but thing is, he still loved me and wanted me around.
Depression almost made me throw away my relationship because of the illness, not because of us as people.
My husband said, it was the little glimpses he got of the real me at times that kept him going. Maybe just a smile of thanks when he brought me a cup of tea, or seeing me hug the dog helped him remember when I could connect on a deeper level.
My illness nearly ripped us apart and its only his tenacity that kept us together. We are now closer than we ever were.
You may not be feeling great about the state of your relationship but make sure that it's not just the illness talking.
One of the hardest things I've ever heard is my now husband being honest telling me that he didn't know if he still loved me. He knew he had loved me, but didn't know how he felt there and then. At least I knew. I grabbed hold of him and told him it was OK I loved him enough for both of us and that I'd stand by until he knew definitely how he felt. We've been together for almost 22 years. We still talk about how he feels and how I'm doing.... Talk to her.
One of the hardest things I've ever heard is my now husband being honest telling me that he didn't know if he still loved me. He knew he had loved me, but didn't know how he felt there and then. At least I knew. I grabbed hold of him and told him it was OK I loved him enough for both of us and that I'd stand by until he knew definitely how he felt. We've been together for almost 22 years. We still talk about how he feels and how I'm doing.... Talk to her.
I find it to hard. I never used to have this problem with previous partners I think it's since my last partner cheated and since then I've never opened up.
10 mins until the call:(
Trying to think of things I may need to tell them
How was the call?
It's not fair for you to judge your partner based on your last one. Talk to her. Tell her you're finding it tough to open up, but you can feel things slipping away....
How was the call?
It's not fair for you to judge your partner based on your last one. Talk to her. Tell her you're finding it tough to open up, but you can feel things slipping away....
The call was stressful can't help but think there going to sack me.
OPINION / RECOMMENDATIONS
In my clinical opinion
Mr... is still struggling to leave the house. I am unable to provide an indication of a
return to work date at present. I am hopeful that he may be fit for his role in the coming weeks
with appropriate control of his symptoms and support. I have advised him to contact his GP to try and obtain an earlier appointment. You may wish to consider funding specialist counselling if this
is available.
Recommendations to Manager / HR:
• *Counselling *Some support longer term could include a stress assessment and phased
return with shadowing support) *Occupational Health Physician (OHP) appointment to be
considered if ongoing issues.
Recommendations to Employee:
• *Lifestyle advice *Counselling support- may benefit some specialist counselling if this is
available. *Appears to be engaging with medical support
HML Next Actions:
• *I am unable to provide an indication of a return to work date *Hopeful may be fit in the
coming weeks but not fit to return to work at present. Report copy; same time
I don't see how they offered anything to help me?
That is really positive! They've recommended counselling and whether the company you work for have insurance where they can provide private counselling..
It says that you are working with medical teams, but you need to see if you can get an earlier appointment and states that atm they aren't able to suggest a back to work date.
It's good news.
I don’t understand why you think that outcome means they’re going to sack you. They’ve said you’re not well enough yet, but that they are hopeful you can in the coming weeks, with the right support. They’ve made positive recommendations and ways for the company to help you. This is a good outcome, lovely
Stella180
20-10-20, 07:07 PM
Hey that is a very positive report. They are saying that you are doing all you can to get better and that you are not fit for work right now. They have offered advise the the company on what they can do to support you and ease you back into work when you are ready. That’s pretty much the kinda outcome you needed. It’s all good mate.
I don’t understand why you think that outcome means they’re going to sack you. They’ve said you’re not well enough yet, but that they are hopeful you can in the coming weeks, with the right support. They’ve made positive recommendations and ways for the company to help you. This is a good outcome, lovely
I guess it's me automatically thinking the worse again.
I told the lady I didn't want to lose my job as its the only place I've worked and I'm afraid if I lost it then there's no reason to go back outside the house again. I just need support and I can't get any help atm due to covid it's limited to what I can do
What is limited because of covid?
Today - are you up? Washed? Dressed? Had something to eat? Drink? Taken your meds?
What is limited because of covid?
Today - are you up? Washed? Dressed? Had something to eat? Drink? Taken your meds?
I meant the support is limited due to covid even my mental health practitioner is frustrated. He ended up calling the psychiatrists the last time I spoke to him to let them know I had no Dr's and that he was worried I had no support. Im not to happy with that part of the report where she mentions I should keep calling the psychiatrists to push it, as the mental health practitioner has already done it
Still not heard nothing.
I've not long got up sleeping was bad last night was awake till 3am then awake at 6 when the over thinking starts worrying about work etc.
But maybe you calling the psychiatrist would actually push things along
All you can do is call them and try asking for a cancellation or something?
Gave them a call waiting on a call back from a band 7 nurse. The lady on the phone said I'm on a waiting list for a nurse and it was due to be discussed at the next meeting.
Well that's really positive. Well done for calling.
Strugglingmum
21-10-20, 03:27 PM
That's good news
No call back today (think) at least I can say I'm doing everything they advised
They are likely to only have 1 multidisciplinary team meeting a week, so it's unlikely you'll hear back for a week or so.... Be patient.
Have you started talking to your wife yet?
Just had a catch up with work which has left me feeling down.
They asked what I'd been doing etc to try and leave the house which made me feel sick & awful.
He mentioned the report was positive and especially the bit about returning to work in weeks rather than no return date.
He's set me off panicking as he mentioned trying works validium services again who I've used previous a few years ago the guy admitted he didn't have enough sessions with me to help enough and when I was at my lowest at Christmas night I called them asking for support and they basically told me it was beyond what they could offer so my impression of them isn't great but I'll give it another go if it helps.
He mentioned that there's got to get to a point where if they've exhausted all there options then there would come a point where they'd ask if I was able to furfill my contract.
I just feel so crap after the call like I told him I'm crying out for support doing what there telling me to do but there's nothing there.
Stella180
28-10-20, 05:03 PM
All you can do right now is engage in all the support being offered to you. It might actually help you to get better. Ok, so things didn't go well last time with Vilidium but things are different now and maybe something will click into place.
Your employer is right, there has to be a point where either you are able to return to work or they have to let you go but there are a few more steps to try before that happens so don't be bullied by them. Also if you do reach a stalemate DO NOT resign. They will tell you that you have to cos you aren't living up to contractual duties but thats not true. In fact to terminate your contract grounds of incapacity they have to pay you any accued holiday and 1 weeks pay for each full year you have been in their employment (you may need to check that with your union rep or CAB) but if you resign you get nothing.
Thanks I'll call validium tomorrow I'm open to anything.
I just hate the way it's left me feeling worthless, feeling sick like it's knocked me for six. Then it brings back me thinking all the negative thoughts like it's inevitable.
I can understand that this feels like a negative point of view, but you're being offered other counselling services. If you're offered it, take it.
He does raise valid questions about what you are doing to help push yourself to go out etc. That's a relevant question. What are you doing?
Have you started talking to your OH yet?
I can understand that this feels like a negative point of view, but you're being offered other counselling services. If you're offered it, take it.
He does raise valid questions about what you are doing to help push yourself to go out etc. That's a relevant question. What are you doing?
Have you started talking to your OH yet?
Well I was just hoping the nurse would help push me or offer some advice. I've lost the support of the mental health practitioner and it felt like he was the only one that understood how I was feeling.
My partner knows I struggle with my anxiety but hasn't offered much support tbh half the time I feel like I deal with it on my own. Today I could of done with speaking to somebody so spoke to her about it, she listens but doesn't offer any advice. My parents don't know what to say to help and I get the impression my sister just wants to avoid talking about the whole situation and how I'm feeling. My so called friends from work no longer check up on me.
I’d definitely talk to Citizens Advice for information on your rights
I’d definitely talk to Citizens Advice for information on your rights
I'm in the union at work joined about 4 months ago not that I've used them for anything.
Why not?
As I didn't want to annoy work and I'm not even sure how they could help
Stella180
28-10-20, 07:59 PM
Get in touch with your rep. They are there to support you in meetings and advise you of your rights. You’re paying for the service so make use of it. It will only annoy your employers if they aren’t sticking to the rules and if that were the case you would definitely need your rep by your side.
Get in touch with your rep. They are there to support you in meetings and advise you of your rights. You’re paying for the service so make use of it. It will only annoy your employers if they aren’t sticking to the rules and if that were the case you would definitely need your rep by your side.
I just didn't think they could do alot atm as I've not really had any meetings with anyone just a phone call once every 3-4 weeks to ask how I'm doing etc
They can definitely point you in the right direction. And unions are there for you - not your employer!
They can definitely point you in the right direction. And unions are there for you - not your employer!
I was scared of getting on the wrong side with work.
I'm going to call our local doctors tomorrow and see what I need to do to get to see someone as I'm not happy with the buspirone as I don't really feel like it's helping me and I'm up to 30mg. My other tabs have been good my moods generally been good apart from today.
I really don’t get why you think it’d affect how your employer feels about you. They must have recognised the union and therefore understand they are there to support employees. And you’re not going straight into taking them to a tribunal or something, all you would be doing is finding out from your union what your rights are and how the union rep could potentially help you with the right outcome IF there are any issues. What is the point of being in a union if you won’t use their services and ask for their advice?
Please read this from gov.uk, it briefly explains what a union rep does
https://www.gov.uk/join-trade-union/role-of-your-trade-union-rep
I really don’t get why you think it’d affect how your employer feels about you. They must have recognised the union and therefore understand they are there to support employees. And you’re not going straight into taking them to a tribunal or something, all you would be doing is finding out from your union what your rights are and how the union rep could potentially help you with the right outcome IF there are any issues. What is the point of being in a union if you won’t use their services and ask for their advice?
Please read this from gov.uk, it briefly explains what a union rep does
https://www.gov.uk/join-trade-union/role-of-your-trade-union-rep
I wouldn't know what to ask the union rep atm
Explain the call you had today and ask what next steps, if any, they’d recommend. You’re not committing to anything, just getting advice
Well I was just hoping the nurse would help push me or offer some advice. I've lost the support of the mental health practitioner and it felt like he was the only one that understood how I was feeling.
My partner knows I struggle with my anxiety but hasn't offered much support tbh half the time I feel like I deal with it on my own. Today I could of done with speaking to somebody so spoke to her about it, she listens but doesn't offer any advice. My parents don't know what to say to help and I get the impression my sister just wants to avoid talking about the whole situation and how I'm feeling. My so called friends from work no longer check up on me.
Have you told her that you want her point of view and advice? Is this the first time you've really talked to her and told her how you are feeling?
When was the last time you called to check in on one of your friends? It goes both ways love.
What have you done this week to get out of the house?
What about keeping that mood diary I've suggested a few times?
Or downloaded an app such as headspace?
What about used one of the helplines either by phone such as the Samaritans or by text such as shout?
Have you told her that you want her point of view and advice? Is this the first time you've really talked to her and told her how you are feeling?
When was the last time you called to check in on one of your friends? It goes both ways love.
What have you done this week to get out of the house?
What about keeping that mood diary I've suggested a few times?
Or downloaded an app such as headspace?
What about used one of the helplines either by phone such as the Samaritans or by text such as shout?
Ive been using head's pace for the past few months to help sleep at night.
I don't see the point in contacting friends as they don't know what to say half the time.
Went shopping with my partner but stayed in the car as it was really busy and she had to que to get in. Can't really go anywhere due to lockdown 2
I was keeping a mood diary but it was the same everyday and very repetitive.
Called validium like OH suggested they can't offer any sessions atm until the cpn do something as it might be a conflict??
Worried now work will just say that's it if they can't help.
No phone call back from the cedars I don't know why I bother half the time.
Monday I'm going to call the cedars centre again.
Email my manager with a new sick note and let him know what validium said.
Call Acas and ask them some bits about work.
Sometimes you have to push yourself to do things which aren't things you feel comfortable with - as in keeping the mood diary... It might not be fun but you need to do it. Contact your friends just to say hi and maybe see how they are?
What about before lockdown 2? Were you trying to go into the shops at all then?
Sometimes you have to push yourself to do things which aren't things you feel comfortable with - as in keeping the mood diary... It might not be fun but you need to do it. Contact your friends just to say hi and maybe see how they are?
What about before lockdown 2? Were you trying to go into the shops at all then?
I went shopping last week with my partner aldi and morrisons this week was way too busy for me plus the queing at the entrance put me off.
My parents have moved into the village so I've walked up a few times with my partner and dog
That's great, what about the mood diary? Keep an activity diary too so you can see what you are doing during the day....
What about calling friends etc?
That's great, what about the mood diary? Keep an activity diary too so you can see what you are doing during the day....
What about calling friends etc?
I speak to a friend quite regular and he understands. The reason I don't get in contact with others is because the last time I did they suggested meeting up for a meal, which isn't going to happen at the moment.
The rest just don't know what to say and you can feel the awkwardness, then they all ask the same question so when you coming back to work
Stella180
06-11-20, 09:28 PM
You know you can say no. That you aren’t ready for that yet. People won’t understand if you don’t tell them. Hooking up to go for a walk and a chat will help you.
Stella is right you know...
Have you tried talking to your friends about their lives? Get involved in their lives again? Talk about what you talked about before you became ill?
Have you tried talking to your friends about their lives? Get involved in their lives again? Talk about what you talked about before you became ill?
No I've not tried tbh.
I stopped talking to them when I was depressed then all the thoughts of well there not bothered anyway start going round my head.
We've a WhatsApp group and I've not replied on there for a very long time as I feel I can't be seen to be having a laugh with them as it might give off the wrong impression and people would comment well he sounds OK he's been having a laugh etc.
Called the Psychiatrist yesterday they actually called me Friday just past but on a withheld number for a chat which I missed. I'm still on a waiting list but the lady said she's emailed the team lead and there going to send a letter out next time there going to call.
Spoke to validium yesterday as well just to confirm why they can't give me any sessions as I've got to update work as I've now got my sick note to email in.
Woke up a few times during the night with bad dreams worrying about work etc woke up with the sickness feeling again
If you look around this forum, you’ll see that we are always having a laugh, joking around with each other. Enjoying time with friends is an important part of recovery. Chat with your friends, hunni, it really will help
Paula's right. Just because you have diagnosed depression doesn't mean you can't laugh and have fun with friends....
Strugglingmum
10-11-20, 01:54 PM
^^^^^^what they said
Stella180
10-11-20, 02:00 PM
If it wasn’t for my sense of humour I’d be 6 ft under by now. Clinical depression doesn’t mean you can’t be happy and enjoy time with friends and family. It’s these things that keep us going.
You know what I mean... Obviously it gets in the way, but there are times when you can enjoy time with others too....
Thought I'd update I feel like I've been making progress I've started going up to my parents house with my partner and have been going for walks with sister or partner.
Spoke to work today which went really well until he put a little pressure by setting me a date to aim for 10th January.
I'm going back on overnights as there's no jobs on days anymore in one way I'm glad as it's all familiar but I'm worried I'll start to feel down again.
Aiming to nip into work tomorrow night to see a friend but I've been here before and bottled it.
One step at a time. It’s wonderful you’ve started getting out and about. I’d say, don’t focus too hard on 10th January for now, it’s a while off yet. Just keep doing what you’re doing, gradually doing a bit more and see how you get on
Strugglingmum
08-12-20, 09:20 PM
That is all really positive. You are doing so well. Little steps at a time
One step at a time. It’s wonderful you’ve started getting out and about. I’d say, don’t focus too hard on 10th January for now, it’s a while off yet. Just keep doing what you’re doing, gradually doing a bit more and see how you get on
Thanks
Im still struggling going out but it's getting easier.
I'm feeling quite down this evening worrying about work etc also with Christmas coming up I'm constantly thinking about how I was last year
Stella180
09-12-20, 12:19 AM
Christmas is always a tough time of the year for me. I’ve kind of come to terms with that now. I hope you can look for the positives and ignore the stress that the Christmas period brings.
Thing is we are all different people than we were last year - every single person on the face of the planet is. We've been living through a global pandemic which has changed pretty much everything... I know it's a fairly simplistic way of looking at things, but it's true...
Thought I'd do an update.
I've not been too bad considering I'm dreading Christmas and it brings back memories of how I felt last year.
Had a tough few days as I've tried to go into work twice but got in to the car park saw the queue and drove straight back out as its really busy.
Spoke to the cpn nurse as my anxiety is building as I'm aware the date set by work is approaching and I still can't get in the store. She told me to speak to work about putting the date back till the end of January after the Christmas rush has died down then have another go at trying to go in. I'm abit worried how to put this to to work.
If you’re not ready, it would just make things worse to go in. The sooner you tell work, the better prepared they can be
Strugglingmum
22-12-20, 10:37 PM
^^^^^^^^wss
Stella180
22-12-20, 10:53 PM
Just tell them that the stress of the festive period is too much for you coming straight back into that but once things calm down in the new year would be better all round. They have an obligation to help you back into work and this is the sensible first step. If they have a date to work with I’m sure they can give you a few days grace but they would need to know sooner rather than later.
I'm going to email him later today although I keep putting it off.
Hoping to put it back 2 weeks and go back the last week of January, so I can go into work twice a week in the run up after the festive season
Hi John, lovely to see you again. Sorry you've been struggling, but I think the suggestion about putting it back seems more than sensible considering all the factors at play atm. How are things with your partner? Have you started talking to her about things yet?
Hi John, lovely to see you again. Sorry you've been struggling, but I think the suggestion about putting it back seems more than sensible considering all the factors at play atm. How are things with your partner? Have you started talking to her about things yet?
Hi sorry for the late reply been trying to keep busy all day.
Things are okay the usual tbh we have good days and bad she had the hump last night as a friend from work called who I haven't spoken to for a long time and because I was on the phone for around an hour :(: that's what I have to deal with!
She knows I've been anxious but it feels like a waste of time and I get the impression she's fed up hearing about it.
Have you spoken to her about it?
Have you spoken to her about it?
I tell her most days but never really get any response, I tell her I'm worried about work etc nothing. A bit of reassurance would be nice but nothing half the time it's like I'm talking to myself.
Tbh I've kinda given up which is why I'm most likely finding it easier to talk on here to strangers! Crazy isn't it
Stella180
24-12-20, 01:18 AM
And they don’t come much stranger than us lol. I totally get it, I found it hard to talk to people close to me too but then the strangers on the forum became my friends and that shifted the balance. I think the people here know more about me and my life than anyone else.
Strugglingmum
24-12-20, 07:44 AM
Quite often I find it easier to talk to people who are a bit separated from my situation. I think(hope) it's quite normal and understandable
Hi all hope you all had a Happy New Year.
Been struggling the last week since lockdown can't seem to get that out of my head it's just made my anxiety worse waking up feeling sick just thinking about going out its been tough just to get out of bed.
Cpn nurses haven't been great I've missed there calls the last 2 times now told them before it would help if I knew when they were going to call or at least try and call me back?
I'm not sure if I'd be allowed to request an appointment with the mental health practitioner? As he was great and I've a million things going round my head atm.
I've had work calling again I missed there call and for the past 5 days I've switched my phone off as I can't deal with it.
Hi John. If you're missing calls then they can refer you back to your GP because you aren't "engaging." They aren't always often to try calling another time as the demand for their services far outweigh the time they have....
Have you tried calling them back?
Hi John. If you're missing calls then they can refer you back to your GP because you aren't "engaging." They aren't always often to try calling another time as the demand for their services far outweigh the time they have....
Have you tried calling them back?
They always call off an unknown number so I can't call them back very frustrating. I called the centre a few months ago and they said they'd send out a letter with a date and time they were going to call but they've not. All I get is a voicemail saying they'll call again in 2 weeks
Then can you not call the number of the centre and explain the difficulties you are having? Surely that's better than risking being sent back to your GP and having to start all over again? Remind me, are you taking meds atm? Have you been able to talk to your wife about how things are honestly yet?
Then can you not call the number of the centre and explain the difficulties you are having? Surely that's better than risking being sent back to your GP and having to start all over again? Remind me, are you taking meds atm? Have you been able to talk to your wife about how things are honestly yet?
Ive called the centre back before but its just a receptionist and they can't put you through, they were the ones who asked if I'd like to receive a letter next time.
Yep I'm on my meds brintellix and buspirone and some cbd oil also essential oils in a Diffuser at night (y) anything that might help.
Was looking at weighted blankets as well has anyone tried them?
I've not got a wife and yes she knows I'm struggling.
Sorry, partner, not wife. It's just that last time I'm sure you said you hadn't told her honestly and openly how things were for you.
Is it worth seeing someone in your team just to let them know how much you are struggling and get them to look at your meds etc?
Sorry, partner, not wife. It's just that last time I'm sure you said you hadn't told her honestly and openly how things were for you.
Is it worth seeing someone in your team just to let them know how much you are struggling and get them to look at your meds etc?
She knows I've spoken to her just get the impression she's sick of hearing it tbh.
Mentioned about going into work one night again and all I got is well you'll have to go on your own then it was well I'm not going in waste of time tbh.
I don't really have a team
I'd be surprised if she meant it as that it'd be a waste of time, especially if she knew how much this was affecting you..
You have a Dr, CPN Mental Health specialist Nurse, I thought you had occupational health too - I can't remember if you had a psych etc? That makes a team imho...
I'd be surprised if she meant it as that it'd be a waste of time, especially if she knew how much this was affecting you..
You have a Dr, CPN Mental Health specialist Nurse, I thought you had occupational health too - I can't remember if you had a psych etc? That makes a team imho...
I know but sometimes it doesn't help with the comments she makes,always negative.
The Dr doesn't really do anything.
The cpn nurse has been different everytime they've called.
I had an occupational health assessment over the phone but no contact since and no help from them as I was waiting for the cpn nurse.I suspect that was just for works benefit.
The last comment I got from work was you had your OH assessment at the end of Oct and she said you'd be back in a few weeks,which was rubbish as I told her I was waiting on the cpn and wasn't sure how long it would take.
Maybe you could call the Dr/CMHT and try to get something more in place?
Maybe you could call the Dr/CMHT and try to get something more in place?
I might call the cpn place tomos and ask again about them letting me know when there going to call me etc
Not looking forward to talking to work, again lockdown has ruined my plans in getting out etc and put my anxiety back up, feeling a bit fed up atm as soon as I take a step forward something else gets in the way.
Definitely call the CMHT and see if they can give you an appointment - even if it's a day and a am/pm kind of thing...
Could you try building up going out by going out for a walk?
Well another missed call from pn nurse yesterday I don't see the point in them was getting on better with the mental health practitioner at least I had set appointmens.
Been continuing to go for walks tying to ignore the news and papers with the covid updates.
Got a pip extension letter yesterday until Jan 2024 but that has stressed me out and now I'm thinking there going to take it away from me any moment after reading on some support groups mosr people have had then, then get a review letter a few weeks later.
Both my husband and I got PIP extension letters too, so don't worry about things before they happen if you can...
How did you miss the call again?
Both my husband and I got PIP extension letters too, so don't worry about things before they happen if you can...
How did you miss the call again?
Ive had my phone switched off all week as I don't feel like talking to anyone minds been racing all week,feeling quite low atm still taking my meds, trying to stay positive but it's hard with everything that's going on and the feeling nobodys interested or cares.
Mentioned going into work tonight just to help with getting out etc and all my partner has done is moan & been unsupportive.
Was told again that I'd get a letter telling me when they're going to call but nothing.
Can you not give them a different phone number which someone else could answer? It just seems that people are trying to contact you and therefore in turn to help you, but you aren't allowing them to do so because you've got your phone turned off.
Strugglingmum
23-01-21, 07:37 PM
I guess it's hard for your cpn to contact you if your phone is turned off. 2024 is ages away but reviews are still happening eventually so if you're due one it will happen probably later in the year.
Are you getting out for a walk at all for some fresh air??
I'll call them again Monday just fed up with not knowing when they'll call it sets me off worrying and I've found it easier to just shut it all off.
Yes I've been getting out most days now I have to otherwise it gets hard again to get out. I just can't seem to cope with busy places that's the next step I guess.
Feeling abit isolated atm I don't know why my mood seems to be down lately, even went in the garage tonight to exercise but I'm still feeling low
With the best will in the world, you’re not their only patient. Even when appointments are made, no one can guarantee they’ll be on time, particularly as tough things are in the nhs - many health professionals have been reassigned to help with the covid crisis, leaving other departments severely short staffed. If you want to speak to them, you’re going to have to engage properly, switch your phone on and be prepared to talk to them whenever they are able.
Finally got a review/appointment with a Dr next week with the lady said its to do with cpn and a review.
This week hasn't been great not feeling like eating or exercising which I usually look forward to, I've been finding I go in the garage and I end up just sitting there with all sorts of thoughts/ideas going round my head.
Trying to remain positive but I'm feeling constantly drained all the time atm
It's been a while since we've seen you. Great news you've an appointment next week. Have you spoken to anyone at the CMHT yet? I know last time we spoke to you they had tried calling and you were ignoring them....
It's been a while since we've seen you. Great news you've an appointment next week. Have you spoken to anyone at the CMHT yet? I know last time we spoke to you they had tried calling and you were ignoring them....
Hi I know feel bad for posting on here again.
Yes I've spoken to them a few times not to keen on the fact it's somebody different all the time.
I'm nervous about the call last Dr I spoke to was useless and kept asking me what I wanted them to do. I just want to know what the hells going on with me and why I'm up & down all the time
Why do you feel bad for posting?
Have you asked for a regular person to talk to? Have you been referred to see a psychiatrist?
Why do you feel bad for posting?
Have you asked for a regular person to talk to? Have you been referred to see a psychiatrist?
I just do, him again posting etc.
No I haven't asked doesn't help that the mental health practitioner at the doctors was brilliant so I'm comparing them to him.
I'm waiting for the letter but the lady said I had an appointment next week with a Dr from the centre so I'm not sure.
Ask, love, they won’t know it’s a problem for you unless you tell them.....
Don't feel bad for posting, it's what we're here for ;)
Definitely tell them that it's something you are struggling with. If you don't tell, they don't know.......
I will do next week,trying to keep busy today cut the grass tidied up the garden,Cant shake the negative thoughts today
Well done for sorting the garden and getting out in the fresh air!
Keep trying to distract and refocus lovely...
So spoke to a Dr this morning did the usual and as usual recommended more medication to help me sleep.
No news on Cpn just going to Continue to get phone calls.
Tbh I'm thinking it's just a big waste of time and I'm getting sick of it.
How do you feel about the medication increase?
Why do you think it's a waste of time? There is no magic answer. You didn't get poorly overnight, it's going to take a while to get better... But to do that you have to put in every single bit of self help and self care you can. Eat properly, drink properly, get out for a walk each day, talk to those around you, take the calls from the CMHT....
How do you feel about the medication increase?
Why do you think it's a waste of time? There is no magic answer. You didn't get poorly overnight, it's going to take a while to get better... But to do that you have to put in every single bit of self help and self care you can. Eat properly, drink properly, get out for a walk each day, talk to those around you, take the calls from the CMHT....
I didn't feel like he listened to me tbh everything's always ok well increase this or start you on that.
I was hoping for an update on the cpn and got my hopes up for that
What kind of update did you think you'd get? It is "just" a case of waiting until you're at the top of the list.
What was he suggesting to increase and which to start?
What kind of update did you think you'd get? It is "just" a case of waiting until you're at the top of the list.
What was he suggesting to increase and which to start?
Well I was told it was to do with the cpn when I called the centre last week so got my hopes up.
I can't remember the name of the stuff he's sending it out in the post so should be here in a couple of days it's to help me sleep and make me feel more positive idk.
Sorry, I don't understand what you mean about it being to do with the cpn?
When I called the centre last week the lady said over the phone the appointment was to do with the cpn nurse but it turns out she was wrong it was just a review
Ahh ok, that makes more sense. Have you spoken to them at the CMHT about a regular CPN or a regular appointment?
No I'm waiting on a call this week.
When I called the centre last week I said my phone doesn't accept private numbers and i won't answer.
She said she'd put a note to let them know and that It shouldn't happen anymore, when I spoke to th Dr today he said I can request a letter so I'll know when there going to call which would be better as stops me worrying
Is there no way that you can take the calls as I know that the CMHT my husband was under couldn't call without it being a private number....
Recieved the medication today its Aripiprazole 5mg says to take in the morning but I'm sure he said take it at night to help me sleep.
I'm not to bad today was a struggle getting out of bed but that because I was awake till 4am
If you're not sure re the meds, give them a call and check. It'd be good to do that asap and so you can start them this weekend...
Spoke to the nurse last week about the Aripiprazole and she was surprised I've been given that as she knows it to cause insomnia not to everyone but alot of people she's helped.
Received the Dr's notes today from the review half the stuff he never asked me that's been written down told him I'd been struggling with my moods etc and he's put in good health no S.. Thoughts and understands illness which is the opposite of what I was saying as I was telling him I'm very frustrated at not knowing what's going on.
Can you call the Dr to ask them to explain?
Can you call the Dr to ask them to explain?
So I've spoken to the nurse again this week as I've noticed my anxiety is quite bad feeling abit lost this week.
Mentioned the report from the Dr and she offered to change bits but I just wanted them to know half the stuff he never asked me.
Told the nurse about my moods being all over the place. Mind seems to be running away with its self atm.
Not felt like doing much this week didn't want to go see my gf's parents as just wanted some quiet time and to not feel like I have to pretend to be happy.
Have you thought about logging in more often and getting some of these thoughts out of your head. It's helped so many people. Also being a bigger part of the whole community really helps too.
Have you thought about logging in more often and getting some of these thoughts out of your head. It's helped so many people. Also being a bigger part of the whole community really helps too.
I have thought about it but I'm always posting negative stuff and I don't want to be a burden although I already do for posting all the time.
Stella180
22-04-21, 09:03 PM
you're not a burden. Thats what the forum is here for, so you can expreess yourself in a safe place. We all know what it's like cos we all have similar issues.
The thing is, you might find that by joining in more, being here more, making friends that actually it makes some of the negativity less and you will find some positives. It'd be good to challenge yourself for things like the Friday Fab 5's etc...
Hi all hope your doing well.
It's been a while since i updated,need to get a few things off my chest
So since i last wrote on here ive managed to get back to work (only 2 shifts in)
I was doing well but i've not been getting much support from the mental health team who are supposed to ring me every 2 weeks (its been 5) the records 8 weeks.
I've still not managed to pluck up the courage and join the doctors in the village so im currently without a Dr.
Just found out today that my boss is being moved who ive worked with for 12 years and who i recently did my return plan with & is the one doing my checks every fortnite which has left me feeling sick all day and very low.
Hi, it's good to hear how you have been getting on.
Well done on getting back to work, that's a huge achievement from when you weren't able to go there to get a chocolate bar!
Have you made contact with the MH team to clarify why there's been such gaps in support - are they calling and you've still got your phone switched off for example?
What is involved in joining your Drs? You really do need to be with a GP. Can you try and make that your target for the coming weeks?
Sorry to hear about your boss, do you know who will be his replacement?
Hi,love, great to see you!
Have you always struggled to access GP services?
Hey, I started by going into work once a week then slowly increased it was tough and still is.
I've had no kissed calls from them when I last spoke to them I had a go at the lady as its always somebody different, I mentioned how they never call and it feels like I've just been forgotten.
I've filled the doctors forms in I just need to go down there with 2 forms of I'd but because it's a new place I've just put it off.
I'm gutted about my boss he was one 9f the reasons I went back on nights I seem to struggle massively with my friends leaving I just can't seem to cope with it.
I can get my tablets via the NHS app so I'm not going to run out
Do they leave a message if your phone is off? Have you given them permission to do so?
Why not grab that bull and go and hand in the forms? I know you can do it. I know it's hard when it's somewhere new, but you really can do this. Having a GP is much more than a repeat prescription - and I was sure that each prescription has to be signed by a GP?
Do you know why you struggle with friends leaving?
My phones not been off I've actually wanted to talk to them as I feel like I could do with the support atm.
I don't know why I struggle with friends leaving it was the same at school etc it just sets me off on a downward spiral I stop eating as I feel sick all the time with worry
What worries go through your head?
It's a huge positive that you've been keeping your phone on. Well done.
Can you call them and chase it?
How are things with your partner atm?
I'm just worried I'm being left on my own, everyone's making progress and I'm stuck not knowing what to do etc.It sets me off thinking negative thoughts it all gets too much what's the point as it all just keeps coming. I'm Constantly feeling sick worrying what the other person's going to be like knowing it won't be the same.
We had our ups & downs over the last 2 years but he actually cared how I was and would regularly check up on me and I felt comfortable talking to him about how I was feeling.
It just feels like I'm getting nowhere with the cpn like I said its a different person all the time which I hate I really miss the mental health practitioner I was seeing at my old doctors as he understood and told me what I could do.
My partners okay she's a bit worried she's trying to talk to me but I just don't feel like saying much as I'm worrying as I've gone quiet again am restless not knowing what to do, don't feel like eating I'm back in work later but its the sitting around waiting which is the worst thing.
I don't feel like doing anything but have to keep busy to keep my mind occupied and stop thinking about work doesn't make much sense
I know it's really tough when people move on and you don't. You are making progress, it wasn't long ago that you had your phone switched off and you couldn't even think about going to your place of work.
Call the CMHT and tell them that you're struggling with the gaps and the different people etc.
Do you have any hobbies? Is there anything you can do to help pass the time between showers?
I know it's really tough when people move on and you don't. You are making progress, it wasn't long ago that you had your phone switched off and you couldn't even think about going to your place of work.
Call the CMHT and tell them that you're struggling with the gaps and the different people etc.
Do you have any hobbies? Is there anything you can do to help pass the time between showers?
Thing is I told the last person who called that I was beginning to regret going Dr's and getting a cpn as it feels like I've been forgotten. I explained that I found it hard when they weren't calling every 2 weeks anymore and the fact it was somebody different everytime and it felt like they were just going through the motions and couldn't wait to get off the phone.
I enjoy exercising in my garage but that's stopped at the moment due to what's going on currently I've lost all motivation to do it.
What's going on which is causing you to lose motivation?
What's going on which is causing you to lose motivation?
I just feel sick with worry like I said I can't cope when close friends leave etc that's set me off I wish I knew more tbh or why it keeps making me feel so down.
I just don't feel like eating or taking care of myself everything goes out the window
Maybe that's something that you could go to something like relate to work through this?
Maybe that's something that you could go to something like relate to work through this?
I don't get what you mean?
Just finished another shift works fine once I'm there it's all the build up to it etc.
Have you eaten yet this morning?
I mean that you struggling when people move on is something that could, potentially, be explored and helped through an organisation such as relate who specialise in relationship counselling. You can go as a single person and they can help...
Have you eaten yet this morning?
No not yet partners made me a cup of tea woke up and instantly started to panic and worry feeling sick.
I've not heard of relate, sure they'll prob just say it's mental health problems
Relate are a counselling organisation that specifically deal with relationship counselling. They aren’t a mental health organisation and are not in the business of diagnosing, just trying to help people through their worries and problems.
Relate are a counselling organisation that specifically deal with relationship counselling. They aren’t a mental health organisation and are not in the business of diagnosing, just trying to help people through their worries and problems.
Is that something that could help?
Possibly. It worked for me in dealing with my divorce. Surely worth investigating?
You might as well try - surely it's better to try?
Found out this morning from my friend that he handed his notice in this morning so in the space of 3 weeks since ive been back ive lost/loosing my two main supports.
Worked with both for 14 years, only just getting over boss leaving 2 weeks ago
Its always one step forward and two steps back!
I'm sorry that your friend is leaving. It might be a way of looking at it positively that you might get to make new friends?
I'm sorry that your friend is leaving. It might be a way of looking at it positively that you might get to make new friends?
I speak to alot of people where I work it's just there was a close few and now it seems I'm the only one left having just returned.
I can't help but feel maybe I should have left having now worked there 20 years,but I don't think I'd cope in a new place.
Spoke to cpn who ring me every 2 weeks and he says it's my social side I need to look at.
Oh it's great you have got to speak to a CPN regularly.
Have you thought about leaving and moving somewhere different?
Oh it's great you have got to speak to a CPN regularly.
Have you thought about leaving and moving somewhere different?
The cpn rang at the right time after I've not heard from them for around 4-5 weeks.
I've thought about leaving before as I feel embarrassed about the job I do. At the moment I'm struggling to do more than 3 hours I'm just trying to get comfortable with all the changes etc before gradually upping my hours but things like this don't help at all.
I'm the last one of our group left on nights now everybody else has gone onto bigger better things which makes me feel like a failure.
Why do you feel embarrassed about the job you do?
Just because others have left to do other things why do you think that makes you a failure? You're trying to battle chronic illness whilst also working. That makes you definitely not a failure if you ask me.
Why do you feel embarrassed about the job you do?
Just because others have left to do other things why do you think that makes you a failure? You're trying to battle chronic illness whilst also working. That makes you definitely not a failure if you ask me.
Ive always felt embarrassed about the job, parents were never happy with me working there.
I'm not sure I think it sets me off thinking I'm a failure, maybe it's me feeling trapped there.
Had a bad night trying to sleep waking up thinking and panicking about work again and going over the conversation I had with my friend. Its affected my mood alot feeling really low and down.
Was supposed to be going to meet my old boss today with him as we did a collection but I just don't feel up to it now.
I haven’t been able to work for 15 years because of my mental health. I understand how you feel, I felt the same for a long time. But I’ve come to realise that my life is more than just a job, and that I am now able to give my energy to what matters in my life. You are working, and you’re also working in a way that helps you deal with your mental health and therefore will mean you too can give your energy to what is really important in your life, once you are stable - and you WILL be stable.
Have you thought anymore about relationship counselling to help you work through the devastation you feel when your friends move jobs?
My husband hasn't been able to work for a long time regarding his mental health, neither have I due to caring for him or my own physical health. Have you thought about some kind of online study or something to help with your self esteem? There are loads of great free courses out there? It might also help you feel that you are doing something to be moving forward too.
Go and meet your old boss, you said that they were a friend, so go and do something social. You don't have to stay long....
I often think about just stopping work and hiding away again but then comes all the stress with bills and the thought of losing pip getting ESA every year is just to much.
I sometimes think I've just got to carry on going into work and eventually things will get easier, but that doesn't stop the nausea feeling.
I've just been round to see my dad for 2 hours with the dog had to get out but now I'm back home the thinking and worrying starts over.
I'm going to try that place tomorrow was only just getting my head round my boss moving on etc but just didn't see this coming from my friend who only last week was calming me down etc saying he's not going anywhere.
I can't help but feel selfish and hate the way I'm feeling as I should be happy that he's moving on and trying to better himself it's just the thought I'm going to lose that friend who I'd talk to about most things and didn't judge me.
Friends messaged again asking if I want to go with him but I just think it'll upset me and would rather hide away.
Sorry for the long post
Nothing to be sorry for.
Keep talking. It helps to get it all out of your head. Did you talk to your Dad about how you are feeling?
Nothing to be sorry for.
Keep talking. It helps to get it all out of your head. Did you talk to your Dad about how you are feeling?
No I didn't talk to him about how I feel that's something we've never really done.
Decided to meet my friends at the pub, thought it's Something I needed to do as I'll regret it not saying bye to old boss picked my friend up on the way. Enjoyed it talking about the last 14 years and were going to meet up again soon.
Well done for getting out socially! That's really huge, and even better that you want to do it again!
Well done for getting out socially! That's really huge, and even better that you want to do it again!
I want to stay in touch with him hoping one day he'll move back to the store.
Felt good but as soon as I've come home the sickness feeling starts and I can't control it.
Sister & husband +kids wants me and my partner to go Warwick Castle with them tomorrow so we've just booked that on the spur of the moment.
Regretting booking the trip now I've been unable to sleep all night panicking about going there, leaving dog with parents and now I'm worried I've just wasted £64 as we're supposed to be leaving at 8am.
Why is it the more you want to sleep you can't switch off and you then start clock watching and panicking more as your running out of time.
How are you this morning? Did you make the trip?
I love Warwick Castle. I hope you manage to get there, and have fun
I've not long woke up, really tired,was hoping we'd just cancel it tbh but my partner wants to go
You're going to be tired after not sleeping properly. Getting out, some fresh air, some social stuff might actually be good?
One strategy my husband has always found useful is hiding behind the camera - maybe it's something you could try?
You're going to be tired after not sleeping properly. Getting out, some fresh air, some social stuff might actually be good?
One strategy my husband has always found useful is hiding behind the camera - maybe it's something you could try?
Well we went and I had a fantastic day took lots of pictures definitely a day to remember.
I'm sat at home now trying to stay awake a little longer.
I’m so glad you had a good day :)
That's brilliant! So pleased for you! 2 social things, both really enjoyed! Well done love!
Thank you.
I'm trying to stay positive but I still woke up feeling impending doom, nausea, panicking straight away thinking about work and my friend leaving (sweat)
So I plucked up the courage to call relate this afternoon had a nice chat with a lady who explained everything, sadly its not something I can afford at the moment on reduce hours, think she said it was £55 for an assessment then £40+ for an appointment.
This may not be appropriate now, but when I went to Relate years ago as a single mum, they discounted my fees and actually refused to let me pay the full charges. Worth asking as you’re on a limited income, surely?
This may not be appropriate now, but when I went to Relate years ago as a single mum, they discounted my fees and actually refused to let me pay the full charges. Worth asking as you’re on a limited income, surely?
I'm not sure I could do that.
Tried to register for cbt again but just had a call from them to say that's primary care and I'm on secondary care so they can't help but had a nice chat with a lady.
Trying to call the MH team and asking where I am on the list and if they offer employment support?
Struggling today trying to reach out to get help but I just get told to keep waiting.
Got a telephone appointment this friday.
Would I be able to talk to the Dr about an autism test or would that need to be local gp?
They can't help with employment support as I have a job
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