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dcalong
23-07-18, 04:28 PM
Hi,

So I've just joined this site and I'm looking for support or just somewhere I can talk and people will respond. I have a habit of pushing away the people I care about and the more it happens the more depressed I become. I'm at the stage of over thinking things and need somewhere to let it out.

Justchris
23-07-18, 05:14 PM
I’m all ears for people like you buddy, a perverbial pat on the back for both of us to join this site. There’s no pressure here, no judgement. I think I’ll end up using this site a lot moving forwards. Please don’t bottle it up anymore I know how awful it gets

Paula
23-07-18, 05:42 PM
I joined here in 2012 and it’s the first time I had ever had peer support. It’s made a huge difference to me over the years and I hope we can do the same for you both :)

CaterpillarGirl
23-07-18, 05:48 PM
I've only been here for a week and have found it really helpful, I'm sure you will too, it's nice to feel like you can be open about things you might not want to talk about with your friends and family and know that nobody is going to judge you

dcalong
23-07-18, 06:31 PM
Thanks all for the replies, I've kinda pushed all my friends away so don't have anyone to talk to at this stage. I've been constantly overthinking a situation that happened with a family member that's now not responding to my texts, even with the apologies. It's a shame when someone has been so grateful for all the help you've given them and how quickly you can change their opinion of you. Must stop overthinking this situation, it's been two and a half weeks already.

Suzi
23-07-18, 06:31 PM
I joined here in 2012 and it’s the first time I had ever had peer support. It’s made a huge difference to me over the years and I hope we can do the same for you both :) Pfft, newbie.. I've been here since the beginning lol...

Seriously though, I love this place. Everyone is super friendly, no one judges and everyone is here because in some way our lives have been touched by mental health illness and in particular depression. This is a safe place...

dcalong
23-07-18, 06:41 PM
Pfft, newbie.. I've been here since the beginning lol...

Seriously though, I love this place. Everyone is super friendly, no one judges and everyone is here because in some way our lives have been touched by mental health illness and in particular depression. This is a safe place...

Thanks Suzi, it's nice to be able to be somewhere where other people understand. I've been depressed for about 10 years with the past two seeing panic/anxiety attacks and I'm bored of people saying I need a holiday or go for a day out somewhere, if only it were that simple!

Suzi
23-07-18, 06:43 PM
Hey if it was that simple then this place wouldn't be needed, and I firmly believe that it is very, very much needed..

dcalong
23-07-18, 06:50 PM
Yes I think I'll be here quite regularly now. I'm looking at a new counselling service on Thursday after trying CBT but didn't actually get anywhere with it.

Justchris
23-07-18, 06:58 PM
Thanks Suzi, it's nice to be able to be somewhere where other people understand. I've been depressed for about 10 years with the past two seeing panic/anxiety attacks and I'm bored of people saying I need a holiday or go for a day out somewhere, if only it were that simple!

The one that grinds my gears the most... you’re lazy.

dcalong
23-07-18, 07:14 PM
The one that grinds my gears the most... you’re lazy.

I'm quite good at discouraging that one, I tell people that I'd like to travel the world and see everything. I want to get my own home and have kids and enjoy life. People say 'well, why don't you go and do it then', luckily I've push away anyone close to me so it's only the occasional colleague at work that says it now.

Suzi
23-07-18, 10:11 PM
Actually that sounds really sad that you think it's a good thing that you've pushed everyone away.....

dcalong
23-07-18, 10:31 PM
Actually that sounds really sad that you think it's a good thing that you've pushed everyone away.....

It brings me down to serious lows when I upset someone close to me. I over think every word I've said and everything I've done to work out why I've pushed them away. It's made me feel very suicidal before. By not having anyone close I can't run the risk of pushing them away and feeling like that. Even people who know me and my depression have drifted away, I guess everyone has their limits. I avoid talking or showing any emotions for fear of upsetting anyone, I'm basically a robot now.

Suzi
23-07-18, 10:45 PM
Maybe you're trying too hard lovely?

dcalong
24-07-18, 07:14 AM
Maybe you're trying too hard lovely?

That could well be one of the problems. I get on well with someone so want to males things work and keep then happy.

Suzi
24-07-18, 10:46 AM
But what about making you happy?

Justchris
24-07-18, 10:51 AM
I get it bud, if you push away everyone then you can’t possibly mess anything up because there’s nothing to mess up. I had the same thinking for a long time and if I let myself go down that path it still occurs. Trouble with that, is that it’s not worth it. The loneliness and isolation you create for yourself outweighs the possible cons of having friendships and relationships with people. I’m now currently fighting to get the lost people back in my life. It goes against the grain for me even now but I know it’s for the best.
You can’t do life on your own and there are some things you have to push through rather than avoid, even if it hurts to start with

dcalong
24-07-18, 08:28 PM
During one of my CBT sessions they asked what I wanted to do for myself and I said nothing. There's nothing I want and no where I want to go, I'm living for other people. If I'm not doing something for someone else then I'm sitting at home and if I do that for too long I start getting depressed. It's why I do a lot of voluntary work and extra hours at work, to keep myself busy and pass the time. I don't want to be in this cycle but as soon as I get close to someone (or even make a new friend), I end up doing something to ruin it.

Paula
24-07-18, 09:37 PM
Was there anything you were interested in growing up that you could take up again?

Suzi
24-07-18, 11:14 PM
Have you ever used things like meetup or Spice?