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JAY1
07-07-18, 09:36 AM
Oh dear...... hello all!

Not sure where to start but I have been battling with depression for years and for a while it went undiagnosed....
lots and lots to share but don't know where or when i should lol.


I take escitalopram, have therapy, and recently started yoga in a desperate bid to try anything that will help.

Add to that I'm having the most horrendous head f*$* with an ex that broke my heart who has now got back in touch in a very elaborate way, only to go cold on me a week later..........doesn't help when you already suffer from a fear of loss and they trigger every painful emotion in you.

SO SO LOST!

but yeah, hi! I'm Jay lol

Paula
07-07-18, 10:26 AM
Hi, Jay, and welcome (hi)

OldMike
07-07-18, 10:34 AM
Hi Jay welcome to DWD.

Suzi
07-07-18, 11:13 AM
Hi Jay and welcome to DWD.Do you have a good support network around you?

JAY1
07-07-18, 11:23 AM
Hello all! Thank you for the welcomes!

Sadly the answer is probably no.... My mum died when i was 14 and my dad and I don't talk due to many differences I guess.
I don't really have many close friends at the moment - the one close friend I do have is 200 miles away. I also struggle with advice from friends as it often tends to be fiercely protective as opposed to calm and logical....Does that make sense?

Suzi
07-07-18, 04:56 PM
It does... Are you able to get out and distract yourself and get some exercise? What about eating sensibly? Not drinking alcohol?

Paula
07-07-18, 06:23 PM
Do you talk to your friend who’s 200 miles away about your mental health?

JAY1
08-07-18, 04:57 PM
Hey guys,

I generally eat very well as I have been dieting since the breakup six months ago so all healthy food. Alcohol is a rare occasion as I usually end up the drunk crying friend at 2am.... and as for exercise I go to the gym once a week and walk dogs all week but admittedly I have a lack of energy to put much enthusiasm into them.

I do talk to my friend but she has two young children and my messages aren’t always being read so I feel I’m too much for her...

In fact I think when I’m like this most people take a wide berth ����(swear)♂️

Suzi
08-07-18, 10:22 PM
Some people just don't know what to say...

It's been too hot for us to walk our dogs since this heatwave. We tried early morning walking, but that wasn't that easy either!

How has today been?

YellowStarling
10-07-18, 06:59 AM
Hi Jay and welcome to the forum :)

JAY1
11-07-18, 03:46 PM
Well yesterday I felt slightly better towards the end of the day but that's the norm for me usually. I feel like the pressure is off towards the end of the day as people no longer expect you to do anything!

I’ve gone back on my propanalol and increased my escitalopram back up to my original dose. Days are getting better even though I’m still not great I at least a feel things are moving in the right direction. Just got to control my eating as whenever my meds hangs or I forget to take them I have a huge appetite....

Suzi
11-07-18, 08:39 PM
How's it going being properly back on the meds? Are you eating and drinking enough?

JAY1
12-07-18, 08:37 AM
It's up and down. My moods are erratic so one minute im laughing and the next i'm in tears....I think it will just get better though. I'm eating too much if anything! but I would say I'm not drinking enough come to think of it.

I'm off on a yoga retreat this weekend with people that I know so it should be really good for me hopefully. I've also somehow managed to pluck up the courage for a date on Friday soooo should help keep me distracted from all that's going on.

I feel like things are getting better and almost feel guilty posting on here but thought it would be interesting to almost have a bit of a mood diary within my posts or for others to see the good days and the bad.....I found it quite tough that it was generally only peoples bad days posted on here. No offence meant by that at all, I realise how overpowering depression is of course!!!

Suzi
12-07-18, 08:57 AM
It's not only bad day which are posted here, but there are many different sections which you won't have access to yet which means you won't have seen all we have to offer..
The yoga retreat sounds brilliant!