Tennis and tiaras *Possible SU Trigger*

[OldMike]

Joy. Si’s been sent home from work after throwing up, and Jess has just told us she was ill in the night too ....

Oh dear are you okay Paula? (bear)

[Strugglingmum]

:( oh no!!!

[Paula]

I’m ok, thanks Mike. Si’s really rough, bless him

[Suzi]

May I suggest you wear surgical masks, aprons, gloves and loads of dettol and bleach? Hope you don't get it...

[Paula]

So do I .....

[Suzi]

How are you? Everyone else?

[Paula]

Jess is fine, I’m fine except for having been up with Polo a couple of times in the night, Si is still not great, bless him.

Had my visual fields test at the hospital this morning, I think my left eye didn’t do so well

[Jaquaia]

(panda)

[Suzi]

Oh no! Do you know what's causing it to not do so well?

[Jaquaia]

Still need the red cross on your door?

[Paula]

Oh no! Do you know what's causing it to not do so well?

Probably because I was up in the night with Polo ;)


Still need the red cross on your door?

Jess is f8ne, Si’s a bit perkier so hopefully we’re nearly there. Thankfully, Katie and I seem to be ok

I’ve just realised it’s 1 December on Saturday, which means decorations get to go up (party)(party)(party)

[Jaquaia]

Glad to hear they're feeling better

3 weeks yesterday I go see Travis!!! (party)

In the mean time I need to work out how to Christmas-ify a room that has no room for a tree...

[Paula]

There is ALWAYS room for a tree!

https://www.bloomandwild.com/send-flowers/tagonly/christmas-trees

[Jaquaia]

I like your thinking!!!!

[Strugglingmum]

There is ALWAYS room for a tree!

https://www.bloomandwild.com/send-flowers/tagonly/christmas-trees

Too right!!

[Suzi]

Those are lovely Paula!

Oh yes, Christmas decs go up in my house on Dec 1st and I've got the first ever Christmas Forum ready to go!!!! Excited much? Me? Hell yeah!!!

[Angie]

I have half Christmas trees they are flat down one side about 3 foot tall and hang on the wall and are pre decorated cant remember where they came from

[Paula]

I truly love my husband but third day home sick in a row? *its a good job my house has 3 stories*!

[Jaquaia]

(rofl)

[Suzi]

He's still sick? Eww...
If he's actually not actively sick give him a list of jobs to do! He'll be back at work really fast!

[OldMike]

I like Suzi's idea so give Si a list of jobs to do immediately and you'll not see his heels for dust as he flies out the door to go to work for a rest. (giggle)

Is Jess back to normal she wasn't well the other day was she?

[Paula]

He is actually white as a sheet so I’m giving him a break. Jess is fine now

Ermmm, so I was just getting ready for bed last night and struggling to do something that should have been easy but I couldn’t because of my hand, which was flaring all evening. I was overwhelmed with intrusive thoughts, with not wanting to have to cope with any of this anymore. I cried myself to sleep ..... it’s been a long time since I had any of that and it’s shaken me up :(

[Jaquaia]

(panda) how are you doing now?

[Paula]

Emotional, had a big cuddle with Si this morning

[Jaquaia]

Emotional is ok lovely (panda)

[Strugglingmum]

He's still sick? Eww...
If he's actually not actively sick give him a list of jobs to do! He'll be back at work really fast!
(giggle)

[Strugglingmum]

(panda) You've had so much to deal with recently, and you've been looking after everyone else so emotional is definitely ok, but sad that you cried to sleep. xxx

[OldMike]

(bear) (panda)

[Suzi]

Oh hunni! I feel for you so much. I can totally relate to how you are feeling and those intrusive thoughts worm their way in so easily, but you know that you are loved beyond measure... You can do this. I know you can. You are such an inspirational lady. I adore you.

[Paula]

See now I’m all emotional again (Kiss)

[Jaquaia]

To be fair, we expect you to be emotional, that's why there's plenty of tissues in the staffroom ;)

[Paula]

:P (giggle)

[Jaquaia]

I love you really (Kiss)

[Suzi]

It's OK, we got another delivery...

https://res.cloudinary.com/jpress/image/fetch/c_fill,f_auto,h_654,q_auto:eco,w_1000/https://inews.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/kleenex.jpg

[Paula]

Awww and they’re all pretty colours!

[Suzi]

Just for you x How are things in your house today? How's you lovely?

[OldMike]

Just popping by to leave these (bear) (panda) and an extra (panda) for Si :)

[Paula]

Sorry I’ve been quiet. Went to work today and wasn’t completely knackered after - I’m getting used to it ;). Came home to a mountain of parcels - Christmas presents by the ton, I love internet shopping lol

I’m ok, other than having my hair done, it’s a quiet weekend which should help

[Suzi]

Glad you're settling into work lovely, you're awesome.

[OldMike]

It's good you're finding work not as tiring, you're a great asset to the hospital.

[Paula]

Work today (I’ve swapped shifts).

I had a weird night. I got up, convinced it was morning. I don’t remember much else except realising it was only 1.30am and going back to bed. Woke up again at 8am, went to take my morning meds and they were gone! The only explanation is I went downstairs and took them before going back upstairs and going back to bed......;)

[OldMike]

Well that is weird, me on the other hand had a hot choc and choc chip muffin for supper about 9 pm last night next thing I woke up and it's 4:30 in the morning and I'm still on my sofa.

Cue a joke:- Went to sleep last night and dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow and when I woke up my pillow was gone, boom, boom :P

PS. Enjoy your shift (panda)

[Suzi]

Must have been something in the air. I had a rubbish night too...

Have fun at your shift lovely x

[Jaquaia]

Me too but that was the stupid dogs fault...

[Paula]

Wow, I’m tired. Work then college parents evening. I was supposed to be seeing a friend tomorrow but she’s postponed til Friday - I’m a little relieved as I think I need to rest. Oo get me, I’m pacing ;)

[Suzi]

Glad you're pacing today lovely.. .

[Paula]

It’s Housegroup tonight. I’d like to go but at the moment I just want to sleep

[Suzi]

Then maybe doze during the day a bit to see if you can go this evening if it's something you really want to do...

[Paula]

I’ve told them I can’t go, I can barely keep my eyes open and it requires thinking lol

[Suzi]

Lol, are you pacing?

[OldMike]

Not pacing just resting my eyes (snooze)

[Paula]

I’ve spent the entire day fighting off sleep (and generally losing). Si’s working from home again so he’s dealt with anything that needed doing. Hospital appointment tomorrow so need some spoons......

[Jaquaia]

You obviously need the rest (panda)

[Suzi]

What's the hospital appointment for?
You must have needed the sleep....

[Paula]

What's the hospital appointment for?
You must have needed the sleep....

Eye appointment

I slept like a log! Still tired but not quite as bad as yesterday.

[OldMike]

Hope all goes well with your hospital appointment today Paula (panda)

[Strugglingmum]

All the best for the hospital. Do you have those horrible drops? (panda)

[Suzi]

Hope it goes well today and that you're pacing too...

[Paula]

All the best for the hospital. Do you have those horrible drops? (panda)

Not this time :)

Eye appointment went well. Visual fields was very good. There is still minimal swelling of the optic nerve but apparently some people never completely go back to normal - like a tummy after having a child. Drs not at all worried. They will still monitor it though (I was hoping to be discharged - ah well) so next appt in 4-6 months.

[Jaquaia]

Resting now?

[Paula]

Having my nails done in a bit but yes, mostly

[Strugglingmum]

Not this time :)

Eye appointment went well. Visual fields was very good. There is still minimal swelling of the optic nerve but apparently some people never completely go back to normal - like a tummy after having a child. Drs not at all worried. They will still monitor it though (I was hoping to be discharged - ah well) so next appt in 4-6 months.

Awesome. Time to do something nice. X

[OldMike]

That's good it's probably a good thing to keep their eye on your eyes ;)

[Suzi]

Woohoo! That's awesome news!

[Allalone]

That’s great news Paula.x

[Paula]

CRPS is a stupid, ridiculous illness that never makes sense! Tonight, my foot is so cold it’s blue and hurts like I’ve walked a mile barefoot in the snow! And that’s despite the rest of my body being comfortably warm and my house always toasty. But I can’t cover my foot up because I can’t bear anything touching it :(

[Suzi]

Oh I'm sorry lovely. That sounds horrendous x

[Strugglingmum]

Oh Paula that sounds awful. Xx sending gentle hugs.

[Paula]

Not to worry. The nature of CRPS means that’s stopped for now. Now, my foot feels like I’ve dumped boiling water on it and is the colour to match. Like I said, ridiculous disease!

[Allalone]

I’d send hugs but I’m the great unshowered, SMs hugs will be good though!!(rofl)

I’m really sorry for all the sarcasm tonight but I’m in a right funny mood!(grin)

(panda)

[Paula]

(rofl) I will aways take hugs, washed or unwashed ;)

[Allalone]

Sending unwashed hugs now!!(giggle)

[Strugglingmum]

I’d send hugs but I’m the great unshowered, SMs hugs will be good though!!(rofl)

I’m really sorry for all the sarcasm tonight but I’m in a right funny mood!(grin)

(panda)

It's all that superhero stuff you did today (ninja)

[Suzi]

Hey sparkles, you recharging today or pushing yourself when actually you should be resting?

[OldMike]

Hey sparkles, you recharging today or pushing yourself when actually you should be resting?

Hey Boss Lady please address the Princess with due reverence the correct form is "Morrow your sparkliness will you be reclining on the chez longue this December morn" ;)

[Allalone]

Hey Boss Lady please address the Princess with due reverence the correct form is "Morrow your sparkliness will you be reclining on the chez longue this December morn" ;)

(rofl)(rofl)

[Suzi]

Hey Boss Lady please address the Princess with due reverence the correct form is "Morrow your sparkliness will you be reclining on the chez longue this December morn" ;)
Yeah Sparkles... This ^^

[Strugglingmum]

Yeah Sparkles... This ^^

(rofl) (rofl)

[Paula]

Hey Boss Lady please address the Princess with due reverence the correct form is "Morrow your sparkliness will you be reclining on the chez longue this December morn" ;)

Ah, respect. At last! (rofl)


Hey sparkles, you recharging today or pushing yourself when actually you should be resting?

I’ve been to see my friend this morning so, although I’m knackered, it was good :)

I’m absolutely bloody freezing! It’s almost enough to make me put the weight back on

[Suzi]

Hope you've rested this afternoon/evening?

[Paula]

I slept for a couple of hours this afternoon. Katie and I have watched Mamma Mia 2 (only my 3rd time in 10 days lol). Si’s out with the lads for a curry - he’s not driving ....;). All in all, a nice day

[Suzi]

So glad you had a good day lovely.

How are you this morning?

[Paula]

Hey, it’s been a quiet day but my brother and SIL are over for dinner tonight :):)

[Jaquaia]

Hope you have a lovely evening!

[Suzi]

Hope you're having/you've had a lovely evening!

[Paula]

They’ve just left, we had an amazing time :)

[Suzi]

So glad! Are you recharging today?

[Paula]

So glad! Are you recharging today?

Definitely, especially as we didn’t go to bed til1am, for the second night in a row ....

[OldMike]

Definitely, especially as we didn’t go to bed til1am, for the second night in a row ....

1am you dirty stop out, report to the headmaster's office and write out 100 times "I MUST go to bed before midnight else I'll turn in to a pumpkin" (rofl)

[Suzi]

Hope the pacing is going well..

[Flo]

Hi Paula! ...are you chillin' like a good girl? What a full diary you have! Good on you...laughter and good company is good therapy so pleased you enjoyed it.

[Paula]

I’ve been wrapping presents and doing ‘21st birthday’ stuff all day, so not so much with the chilling lol.

[Flo]

I always wrap presents on the floor on my knees and it play havoc with them.....trying to get people out of the way so you can do it is another problem.(giggle)

[Suzi]

OOps lol... Pacing at all this week?

[Paula]

Tomorrow’s quiet. The rest of the week is pretty busy

[Suzi]

Rest, rest and rest tomorrow then love...

[Paula]

Certainly starting the right way - I’m not dressed yet ;)

[Jaquaia]

Not imagining you as a fleecy pj kind of person ;)

[Paula]

Ah, no. Pretty nightie all the way ;)

[Suzi]

Are you dressed yet? OR did you just change into a clean nighty?

[Paula]

(rofl) I’m dressed - of course!

[Suzi]

Complete with tiarra?

[Paula]

Always ;)

[Suzi]

I knew so.... ;)

[OldMike]

Complete with tiarra?

That goes without saying ;)

[Paula]

Woohoo!! It’s War of the Worlds day (party)

[Suzi]

Have fun! Are you pacing beforehand?

[Jaquaia]

Enjoy!

[OldMike]

Woohoo!! It’s War of the Worlds day (party)

Woo hoo hope the Earth wins and Mars comes second (giggle)

[Paula]

Have fun! Are you pacing beforehand?

Sitting down doing very little at the moment ;)


Woo hoo hope the Earth wins and Mars comes second (giggle)

I think it was more ‘bacteria on earth wins, Mars second’ ;)

[OldMike]

Sitting down doing very little at the moment ;)

I think it was more ‘bacteria on earth wins, Mars second’ ;)

You're right it was a disease that wiped out the Martian invaders, no immunity to something probably man-flu (giggle)

[Suzi]

Hope you're having a wonderful day...

[Paula]

Had the most amazing day :). We both loved it! I’m still buzzing (party)

[Suzi]

So glad you had a brilliant day! I love Bournemouth!

[Paula]

*clears throat* I am pleased to announce that I’ve finished my Christmas shopping! (party)(party)

[Jaquaia]

Yes but have you wrapped it? ;)

[Paula]

As there’s almost 60 in total(inc the kids stockings) it’s definitely a WIP ;)

[Strugglingmum]

*clears throat* I am pleased to announce that I’ve finished my Christmas shopping! (party)(party)

Aaarrrrgggghhhh I am so behind. I don't even want to think about what I still have to get. Can I just forget this Christmas?

[Paula]

You can do whatever you like for Christmas. You’ve earned that right (Kiss)

[Suzi]

Paula, you are a git.
Jaq you are also a git.
SM as someone who also hasn't finished, who also has a 15th birthday on Christmas Eve I salute you!
I have announced to my children that this year they shall be grateful for being together and if it's dinner of toast then so be it! It's quite liberating you know - although I know that I'll be running around trying to sort things lol

[Jaquaia]

Why am I a git???? I haven't finished wrapping yet and have a few little things to get!!!:o

[Suzi]

Oh OK that's awesome! Then you aren't a git at all and I apologise! I just thought you were all ready.....

[Jaquaia]

(rofl)

[Paula]

Suzi, knowing your kids I’m sure they’ll be more than grateful for time with family and toast. Mine, on the other hand, need presents (rofl)

[Suzi]

Lol, so do mine lol We've just worked out that actually we'd planned to go to Kingston on Wednesday, but the kids are bearking up at 12 on Wednesday..... They shall be walking home lol

How are you today love? Any resting?

[Paula]

I was asleep most of the afternoon. Jess woke me up for Strictly lol, I obviously needed the sleep ;)

[Suzi]

OMG Strictly!!!!

Hope you're planning an easy day tomorrow.. What have you got planned this week?

[Paula]

I’ve got a seriously full on week this week including trying to sort last minute stuff for Katie’s party. So today is a quiet day. Si and the kids have gone to the cinema this morning but I opted for a quiet morning at home

[OldMike]

Wooo hooo Katie's big party lots of jelly and cakes ;)

Definitely have an easy day today Paula (bear) (panda)

[Paula]

It’s my work Christmas do this afternoon - afternoon tea at the conference centre on the hospital site. Really looking forward to it :)

[Angie]

Have fun hunni x

[Suzi]

Hope you have a wonderful time today!

[Jaquaia]

Have fun!!!

[Paula]

It’s been a bad news day. Mum has been diagnosed with glaucoma. And a family friend who I’ve known since i was 10 (she has spina bifida and is remission from breast cancer) is in hospital with rapidly spreading cellulitis ....

[Strugglingmum]

(panda) I'm so sorry. Bad news is rarely lonely. Sending hugs. X

[Suzi]

(panda) Sweetheart I'm, sorry

[Allalone]

Sorry to hear that Paula. Sending hugs.(panda)

[Angie]

(bear)

[OldMike]

(bear) (panda)

[Paula]

I’m slightly panicking tonight. Between now and Sunday I am: having bible study with my curate; having coffee with 2 friends (separately); having a manicure in advance of the party; having my hair done; working and spending the day with the in-laws. And I’ve also got to do last minute prep for the party. I know that this is all nice stuff but I still don’t know where I’m going to find the energy to deal with Christmas, the party and Katie’s birthday.

[Allalone]

Is there any chance you’ll get any rest? (panda)

[Paula]

Not much .....

[Angie]

Sweetheart with the news of your mum and friend plus how busy you are you need to find a way of at least pacing where possible. You have a lot going on and two not nice pieces of news just dropped on suddenly its going to have an effect xx

[OldMike]

You must try and have some me time Paula (bear) (panda)

[Paula]

I almost forgot my Housegroup Christmas party tonight :/

[OldMike]

Go along let your hair down it'll do you good you know it makes sense ;)

[Suzi]

Which bits can you delegate?

[Paula]

Not a bit of it..... Si wouldn’t know where to start and Katie doesn’t have the chequebook ;)

[Suzi]

Lol!!!

[Paula]

Just to give you a laugh this holiday season. Heres me and my baby bruv c1976. I particularly love that, despite being 18 months younger, he was such a chubster (he was eating sandwiches at 3 months) that hes almost as big as me (giggle)

https://i.ibb.co/Cnb2vmp/E7272548-D1-EA-4-D03-806-E-AFC25-CC9-FF8-F.jpg (https://ibb.co/LCx56YD)

[Suzi]

A lovely photo!!
How are you today? What have you got planned for today?

[OldMike]

A lovely pic of Little Princess Sparkles, must see if I can challenge it with a pic of little me (giggle)

[Paula]

This morning I had three people in my house at the same time - all for different reasons. As you can imagine, my anxiety went through the roof. Still, I had my nails done (red, white and glitter :)). I’ve got my ex SIL coming over for coffee in a bit - she’s so lovely and I haven’t seen her for a few months so I’m looking forward to seeing her. But I’m knackered and not elevating my leg enough.....

Edit: literally the second I posted this, she cancelled as she’s not feeling well. I’m disappointed as I wanted to catch up but a little relieved

[Allalone]

Will you get time for a bit of a rest now?

[Paula]

I’m sitting down now for a bit ;)

[Allalone]

We have just had a little snooze! I have a big corner sofa. I was in the corner, my eldest at one end and Ted at the other end!!

You need to get the rest while you can, sounds like a busy time ahead for you.

[Paula]

I’ve just remembered I’m going to Carols in the Park at our local community centre tonight. I have to go because the only interest Jess has shown in Christmas this year was to go somewhere and sing carols. Given how withdrawn she’s been, I need to get her out when I can and Si probably won’t be home in time ....

[Allalone]

I know what you mean my youngest has been similar. Go and enjoy spending time with her, just get some rest where you can.

[Suzi]

Hope you have a lovely time tonight lovely, but pace please....

[Paula]

You’d be very proud of me. We went, and sang 6 carols but then I felt dizzy and nauseous so I asked to be taken home - early. And then had a nap ;)

Work tomorrow then having my hair done, a nice warm reddy brown colour. My hairdresser is taking the mick cos I told her months ago I’d never have red again as it fades from grey hair too quickly (giggle)

[Suzi]

Yay! I AM proud of you!

[OldMike]

I'm proud of you too Paula and a nice warm reddy brown hair colour sounds delightful.

[Paula]

I am definitely low on spoons today ...

[Jaquaia]

Rest?

[Arty]

No spoons here either !

[Flo]

Just to give you a laugh this holiday season. Heres me and my baby bruv c1976. I particularly love that, despite being 18 months younger, he was such a chubster (he was eating sandwiches at 3 months) that hes almost as big as me (giggle)

https://i.ibb.co/Cnb2vmp/E7272548-D1-EA-4-D03-806-E-AFC25-CC9-FF8-F.jpg (https://ibb.co/LCx56YD)

What a gorgeous photo!! Jeremy was a chubby chops like your brother!! Hee Hee!

[Flo]

Don't overdo things!! And your hair sounds lovely!

[Paula]

Thanks Flo, I’m actually really chuffed with my hair :)

I spent the afternoon with my best friend. I know that’s not technically resting but she is a brilliant balm for my soul. Tomorrow is the visit to the in laws.

[Suzi]

Glad you like your hair! Hooray for spending time with your bestie!
Are you looking forward to the inlaws?

Pacing? Resting?

[Paula]

Actually, I am looking forward to seeing them and we’ll be seeing BIL, SIL and nephew too :) I’m not looking forward to the drive, however but que sera
Pacing and resting will have to wait until Christmas Eve.

[Jaquaia]

As long as you do as there's still time to go on Santa's naughty list ;)

[Paula]

:P the cheek!

[Suzi]

You better had!

Have fun today lovely

[Paula]

One day I’m going to start with something other than ‘I’m so tired’ ........ still we had a lovely time with lots of laughs :). We did have an issue coming home - because Jess wanted to drive down, her and Si went in one car and Katie drove me. About 20 mins in, Katie’s car flagged a tyre pressure problem. We stopped and Si pulled up 5 minutes later and they seemed ok so we decided to carry on and she’ll go to kwikfit tomorrow. I have never seen her drive so slowly and carefully!

[Suzi]

Lol! Nice that you didn't have to drive! :) Pacing?

[Paula]

Yes, tomorrow is a rest day :)

[Paula]

I got some lovely presents - including a sodastream (giggle). I drink a LOT of sparkling water, at least 2 litres a day so it’s the perfect pressie :)

[Suzi]

OO I was looking at getting one too! Happy Christmas lovely x

[OldMike]

I got some lovely presents - including a sodastream (giggle). I drink a LOT of sparkling water, at least 2 litres a day so it’s the perfect pressie :)

Sodastream isn't that so 1970's (giggle) I thought it was all glacial melt water filtered through volcanic rock these days ;)

[Paula]

It is, Mike, but that gets expensive over time ;)

[Paula]

Me and the birthday girl. I *might* be a bit tipsy (giggle)


https://i.ibb.co/VwQFydf/BC11100-D-6154-4722-B57-E-57-F342-AE43-E8.jpg (https://ibb.co/RjBXn1R)

[Suzi]

The pictures look awesome! Did she have a wonderful night?
I love that picture of you both!

[Paula]

She did have a wonderful night! We all did, thanks. The owner of the venue and her team were amazing - they made it all very easy for me :).

[Jaquaia]

That photo is gorgeous!!!

[OldMike]

Wow you both look gorgeous :)

[Angie]

Beautiful picture am glad it was a good night hunni x

[Suzi]

So glad everyone had such a good night!

[Paula]

I’m sorry I’ve not been around much today, I’ve been dozing off every half hour ;) (snooze). Today has been resting and more resting. I ache everywhere but Katie had such a wonderful time it was totally worth it :). Katie’s bf was a star. As soon as he arrived, he pushed his best mate out of the way to give me a kiss on the cheek, he danced with me (and supporting me so the crutches were out of the way), he made a point of speaking to everyone at the party and he flirted outrageously with all 3 grandmas pmsl.

[Suzi]

He's a definite keeper!

So glad it was a good night...

[Paula]

I’m so, so very exhausted. Went for afternoon tea with a couple of friends. I thought I was doing ok but I got home and collapsed in a heap :(

[Suzi]

(panda) I think we underestimate how exhausting things are.... I hope you're booked into taking it easy tomorrow....

[Jaquaia]

(panda) how is your week looking? Can you rest?

[Paula]

It’s katies birthday tomorrow so I won’t be able to take it easy yet. We’re going out for lunch too. I’ll rest New Year’s Day and Wednesday then I’m seeing a friend on Thursday (who’s a teacher so I only get to see her during holidays) then I’m having my nails done. Friday, it’s back to work. I’m not sure 2 days rest is going to be enough tbh but one day at a time

[Suzi]

You've really been packing in loads of things esp with the stress of the party and everything with Jess too...Could you find a way to be kinder to you?

[Paula]

I know I have. But I can’t do too much about this week so will have to dig deep for a little while longer

[Suzi]

Then that's what has to happen. Schedule some "doing nothing but recharging time" asap then please? :)

[Paula]

Desperately trying not to doze off atm

[magie06]

Can you afford to have 40 winks?

[Arty]

Happy New Year Paula x

[Paula]

Desperately trying not to doze off atm

Completely failed (and slept through Maleficent lol). Still, a nice quiet evening watching the London fireworks ...... from my living room :)

Thank you, Arty, and to you too x

[Angie]

Hope you can manage to pace hunni x

[Suzi]

Happy New Year gorgeous...

[Paula]

Happy new year, all! I’m hoping this year will be peaceful for us all :)