View Full Version : Positive Thought for the Day

20-06-18, 07:25 PM
Following my recent meltdown Iíve challenged myself to come up with at least one positive memory from every day.

Itís been a tough Wednesday for me and Iím still a little too tender to tell the world too much about my problems. One of the worries was that I needed to visit my local hospital eye clinic for a follow up to some laser treament I had for eye damage caused by diabetes. I was very close to deciding to chicken out as because the thought of any bad news about my failing eyesight would add a huge negative to my already full plate. It was also going to be my first day in public since D-Day.

Despite my concerns Iím pleased to report my laser treament had gone well and I did not need any further zapping and for at least another 6 months. My very positive thought from the day.

While writing this Iíve decided to award myself a second positive thought for for plucking up the courage to attend the appointment in the first place and be seen in public (I caught sight of myself in the hall mirror on my way out and I look awful).

Another day along the road to beating depression. I wonder what tomorrow will bring - it wonít be a good start as my first stop is the dentist.

How did your day go?

20-06-18, 08:49 PM
It's a great idea to be searching for the positives each day. I think you've done brilliantly by going, brilliantly by facing it and even more brilliantly for posting here too. Those are 3 pretty huge positives in my book!

Why do you look awful?

20-06-18, 10:33 PM
Well done, sweetie :)

21-06-18, 05:01 AM
Thanks for the support. Having never really talked about my problems Iíve found writing to this forum a release and a means of helping me address my issues. I hope youíll understand my needs.

I look awful because firstly, in the very long term I have let my physical health deteriorate. Iím obese and have not looked at myself in the mirror for years. More recently, in the past few months things have been coming to a head and Iíve been sleeping poorly, eating badly and have been told Iím not looking too well. I caught sight of myself in the mirror and it was not a pretty sight.

My physical looks and poor health form a major part of my lack of self respect and a realisation that I have wasted a large part of my adult life. I could have done so much more and hurt others less if Iíd have sought help years ago.

21-06-18, 09:05 AM
Hindsight is both a wonderful gift, but a terrible curse. Should have/Could have aren't going to help you to be kind to yourself or help you move forward positively. I bet you could stop anyone on the street and ask them if there were things that they could have or should have done differently in their lives and I bet every single one of them would reply yes... No point in using those to beat yourself with - life is tough enough. Be kind to you...

21-06-18, 12:37 PM
As well as your positive thought, would you think about a positive action today?. It doesnít have to be much - if youíre struggling with how your self image, maybe you could do one think today to improve that? Perhaps something as simple as taking a leisurely bath with smellies?

21-06-18, 01:13 PM
Good idea. Baby steps rather than dramatic change.

21-06-18, 01:40 PM

21-06-18, 05:47 PM
Positive thought from today - the first day for many weeks I have not seriously considered the darkest of thoughts at some point during the day.

Positive action of the day - this may sound silly but my lack of appetite for many weeks has led to me tightening my belt by four notches. Perhaps it goes to prove every cloud...

There are still a few hours left of Thursday but so far so good

21-06-18, 06:01 PM
That sounds a nice and positive day Drew.

21-06-18, 07:56 PM
Overall it was a bit of a mixture but at least I managed to count a couple of blessings.

21-06-18, 08:48 PM
Youíre fab!!

21-06-18, 09:45 PM
Those are brilliant!

22-06-18, 09:08 PM
Thanks for your indulgence. Itís too much for me to be clogging up the forum with my daily ramblings so for the last time for a while:

Positive thought - First day without contact from the crisis team and I managed quite well.

Positive action - Drove to the Welsh coast and saw the beautiful countryside in lovely weather. There are things to be thankful for.

22-06-18, 09:42 PM
Oh Drew, please donít stop! Itís not too much at all and I, for one, enjoy your ramblings :)

22-06-18, 10:01 PM
Thanks for being so kind. Thinking about what to write does make me look at my day differently so Iíll continue to find positive things to share for a little while.

22-06-18, 10:27 PM
I completely agree! I love reading it too!
Welsh coast is beautiful! I am very envious!

You'd be welcome to join in with the Friday Fab 5's too if you wanted?

22-06-18, 11:58 PM
5 positives for the week?

23-06-18, 10:17 AM
Or more or less, whatever feels right

23-06-18, 07:22 PM
Not a good day but my positive thought is that I canít expect to win every day, itís the long term trend that matters. I need to be realistic.

One good thing was I managed 7 hrs. sleep without the sleeping pills. Iím not sure about using them regularly I seem so lethargic the morning after Iíve taken them.

One story you may find funny: before my drive to the coast yesterday I needed to fill up with fuel. As I paid and returned to the car I decided to take off my sweatshirt. As my arms reached skyward my recent loss of weight saw my trousers drop to my ankles. Embarrassment+++

23-06-18, 08:05 PM
Oh no!! Still, kudos on the weight loss ;)

23-06-18, 08:14 PM
So glad you had a good nights sleep! That can make such a difference!
I'm so sorry but I had to (rofl)(rofl)(rofl) at that story!

24-06-18, 07:38 PM
There didnít seem much in the way of positives today, I guess Iím starting to realise how long the journey is going to be. However, earlier this evening I persuaded myself to drive to a nearby town where I sat in the sun and watched the river flow by for a few minutes. Today wasnít a total write off.

24-06-18, 08:01 PM
Well done for getting out, thatís a very positive achievement in my book

24-06-18, 10:11 PM
Sounds to me like you did amazingly!

25-06-18, 08:16 PM
I was in danger of another generally negative day but it was just redeemed by a quick chat. My parents were away when I had my meltdown and although they were due back today I didnít feel up to telling them about my problems so soon on their return. My brother kindly broached the subject and Iíve just had a really supportive phone call from my mum. Well into her 80ís with plenty of problems of her own and she still managed to make me feel a little better and look forward to tea and sympathy.

At times like this families and friends are a great source of strength even if you have been too proud to ask for their help in the past. My advice? Donít try to do it all by yourself.

25-06-18, 08:39 PM
That's so brilliant that you have your brother who can help and your Mum is AWESOME!

25-06-18, 09:26 PM
My advice? Donít try to do it all by yourself.

Iíll second that! Mind you, I rarely listen to my own advice on that, stubborn as they come ;)

25-06-18, 11:54 PM
Just realised thatís been my problem for too long. Regret is a bitter pill but it teaches a great deal - my worry is having the strength to deal with it. Sorry if that sounds negative but Iím finding things a little tough at the moment. Goodnight, hoping for a better day tomorrow.

26-06-18, 08:09 AM
Morning, how are you feeling today?
It's so hard learning to ask for help, accepting that help and learning to pace yourself - 3 lessons I'm always messing up lol

Hope today is much brighter for you.

26-06-18, 08:24 AM
Iím not at my best at the moment but Iíll have a visit from the Crisis Team later this morning and that generally helps me find some positives to look forward to. Itís just that the negativity seems to creep back and it worries me. I thought I was making progress but it seems to have come to a grinding halt.

26-06-18, 08:51 AM
Hi Drew that is the thing about depression you think you're mastering it but it has a way of getting back at you, so you've just got to hang on there, small steps.

26-06-18, 09:30 AM
You have made progress and youíve not come to a grinding halt. Recovery from depression is never a straight line, though, so there will be days when it feels like youíre not getting anywhere. Itís important to look at your overall progress at times like that. Today may be tough but already your attitude is that the crisis team appointment will help boost you. That attitude in itself is amazing :)

26-06-18, 10:05 AM
You really haven't come to a grinding halt! You're talking, you've identified that you need to ask for help and got that help and support.. You really are doing amazingly

26-06-18, 11:16 AM
You are amazing and you really have come a long way.

26-06-18, 06:49 PM
Even though I was not hopeful I can report at least two positive things that happened to me today. My first was a visit from one of the Crisis Team who I had not seen for about a week. Amongst other things she mentioned that I seemed to be in a better place than when sheíd last seen me.

My second positive was along the same lines from my brother and he also mentioned I was talking about the future rather than the past.

The fog of depression hid the progression Iíve made. Today was a better day.

26-06-18, 07:12 PM
Thatís good to hear :)

26-06-18, 10:23 PM
Can I just say that I totally love reading this thread! You really are doing so well!

26-06-18, 11:12 PM
Iíve never opened up like this before and Iím finding it a cathartic experience. The support Iíve received from this forum means a great deal to me - thanks for taking the time to give me such positive feedback. You spot so many positives that Iím struggling to see.

Iím still a long way off dealing with my low opinion of myself and trusting others. This is going to be a long battle.

27-06-18, 09:43 AM
It might be a long way off but youíre taking huge strides in the right direction.

27-06-18, 10:27 AM
You're definitely doing all the right things and all the hard work! We're just waving pom poms!

27-06-18, 10:42 AM
It's a long road but you're getting there Drew.

27-06-18, 10:55 AM
It takes a while but every day you are getting there. You didn't get sick overnight and unfortunately you don't get better overnight either. But I love your positive for the day. Have you looked at our Fab 5 Friday thread.

27-06-18, 06:44 PM
Hi Drew(hi)...you don't see it yourself because the fog of depression clouds things, but you're doing the right things. Every night when you go to bed, you've survived the day and that in itself is a step towards recovery. Just take it a day at a time and you'll get there. Planning things to do in the future too are signs that positive things are going on. Sometimes you take one step forward and two steps back, but the good news is that you will get better. It's lovely that you feel you can open up to us. We've all been there. You're honest and upfront. It's lovely to read your thread.(bear)

27-06-18, 07:10 PM
Thanks to everyone for the supportive messages, they are a great help and as such Iíll make them my positive thought for the day.

27-06-18, 10:36 PM
That's a pretty awesome positive! :) It's good to see you posting regularly - it'll be a good record for you too.

28-06-18, 07:56 PM
A visit to my solicitors this morning followed by a drive before it got too warm. Mixed feelings but at least Iím dealing with the present and future rather than the past.

28-06-18, 08:00 PM
Things donít need to make you beam to be positive - well done for recognising that

28-06-18, 09:00 PM
Well done for dealing with things. That's really important and really tough. You've done well.

29-06-18, 07:03 PM
Unexpectedly I laughed for the first time for several weeks - not much of a laugh but it came with a smile too. For me thatís a huge positive for the day.

29-06-18, 09:53 PM
That is really, really positive! Well done lovely!! What made you smile and laugh?

29-06-18, 10:00 PM

30-06-18, 08:40 AM
My brother called to see me yesterday and was telling me a long and involved story when he said something I found funny. Heís been a great help and has tried to get me to smile for some time, this time he succeeded. I guess it was the distraction of the story which helped but even so I now realise I had been listening to what he had to say and not thinking about my own problems.

30-06-18, 08:52 AM
That's very positive Drew, I so know the feeling when someone's talking and to you and your mind isn't really with it because of your own thoughts. So it's absolutely great that you were tuned in to what he was saying.

30-06-18, 11:24 AM
I think it's fab that you seem to have a lot of support and love from your family!

30-06-18, 09:14 PM
A quiet day today. There were no great positives to report but equally there were no great negatives either. Lesson learned? You canít win every day but if you win more than you lose you are making progress.

30-06-18, 11:17 PM
So true! It's not always about a "wow moment" as my last psychologist said, sometimes just getting through the day fairly level is a huge success in itself!

01-07-18, 03:13 PM
Today I was thinking about what I could do to keep myself occupied and remembered I had taken part in a number of courses through FutureLearn. The basic courses are free but you can get additional benefits for a fee.

When I looked at the FutureLearn website one of the first course I spotted was Mindfulness for Wellbeing and Peak Performance. Iíve decided to enrol and have already started the course which takes about three hours per week for 4 weeks. I hope my studies will be a welcome distraction and a useful tool for the future.

FutureLearn have a wide range of courses and you can get more information from their FAQs at https://about.futurelearn.com/about/faq

A good positive for the day.

01-07-18, 05:55 PM
That's a great idea! Well done!

01-07-18, 05:57 PM
Agreed excellent a big positive on many levels.

02-07-18, 07:32 PM
A very difficult day but I came out of it looking forward and not back. In football terms an honourable draw.

02-07-18, 09:49 PM
A draw is always better than a loss.. Hope tomorrow is easier for you though x

03-07-18, 07:07 PM
Iím sorry to report it was another difficult day and this trend is likely to continue for a little while until I can come to terms with the major changes to my life. The positive thing is I havenít gone backwards, maybe the medication is kicking in or Iím becoming more resilient, perhaps both.

I think I need things to look forward to so Iíve booked a table for lunch with my mum and dad for Friday lunchtime and joined a local dining club for an evening out at the end of the month. The dining club date may need a little fortitude but itís a challenge.

03-07-18, 07:54 PM
Then Iíd say that was your positive. Joining something like that takes courage when things are still difficult. Be proud of yourself

03-07-18, 08:16 PM
Thanks. I get the feeling that booking the date was the easy part but even so I appreciate it does take a degree of positive attitude to do it. Thanks for your continued support, I canít tell you how much it means to me.

03-07-18, 08:35 PM
Where are you going with your parents? Is it somewhere you've been before?
Have you signed up on your own or with a friend?
Doing these things on a tough day makes them even more of an achievement. You are working so hard.

03-07-18, 08:52 PM
Friday is a pub/restaurant weíve been to before but not local to me so I donít foresee any social issues. The dining club is a complete wild card but the restaurant is easy access and IĎve eaten there before and I like the menu. It will be interesting to see how I react. Iíll reserve judgment about the dining club evening until nearer the time when I will have more idea about my self-confidence or lack of it.

Sorry, I should have said the dining club evening is a solo event for me.

03-07-18, 10:02 PM
That sounds really good!

04-07-18, 06:14 PM
Sorry to report today as a loss. Sad but not giving in yet.

04-07-18, 06:26 PM
Never give in... Do you want to talk about why today wasn't so good?

04-07-18, 07:04 PM
Iíd rather not go into detail but itís people issues and itís knocked me back a bit. I just want to draw a line under today and start again tomorrow. Thanks for being there it really helps,

04-07-18, 08:46 PM
People issues are often the hardest and cause most pain when they don't go right....
Here's hoping for a better day tomorrow.

05-07-18, 12:39 PM
Howís things today?

05-07-18, 12:57 PM
Iím a bit of a mess at the moment but things may become clearer one way or another later today. Just had my final meeting with the Crisis Team they think Iíve progressed far enough for them to stand back and provide 24hr. phone help rather than occasional face to face meetings. I suppose that is a positive but added to my other issues it doesnít feel like it.

I intend to post another reply later no matter whether it is good or bad.

Thanks for caring.

05-07-18, 09:49 PM
We do care!
Well done for progressing through the crisis team visits, but I also understand why that's daunting. You can always call them as and when you need to - they are still there and that's an important thing to remember.

I do truly hope your day has got better as it has gone on..

06-07-18, 08:31 AM
Firstly I apologise for not posting as promised. It was a very bad day yesterday as I was hoping for some positive news but fearing the worst. Each minute seemed like an hour and I was very down. The positive thing is at least I now know where I stand - I was holding out false hopes and not for the first time.

Going out for lunch with my parents today and thereís some explaining to do. Again, not easy but it needs to be done.

Iíll post again later because sharing seems to help. Thanks for listening.

06-07-18, 09:27 AM
I'm glad you're finding it helpful to post here.
How are you feeling today?

06-07-18, 09:37 AM
Awful. My wife has just told me sheís off to see her solicitors to sign documents to initiate our divorce. At the moment I feel as though Iíve gone backwards to the beginning and Iím going to have to relive that pain all over again. I feel sick.

Iíll still be seeing my parents today. I need to let them know some but not all of the situation but itís not something Iím looking forwards to.

At the moment my wife is in the other room singing along to love songs on the radio and itís breaking my heart.

I may need to take a break from posting here for a while but donít worry Iím not going to do anything stupid.


06-07-18, 09:55 AM
Oh sweetheart I'm so sorry. Has it gone too far for something like Relate couples counselling?
You don't have to take a break, you can post the not so good stuff as well as the positive stuff... Here for you.

06-07-18, 10:25 AM
Itís too late for Relate, it was offered but my wife did not want it. Iím not going into more detail as itís pretty negative stuff and it wonít help me. My postings may take a break until Iím feeling like sharing again.

At the moment I havenít given up on the future but I am dreading it.

06-07-18, 11:13 AM
Iím so sorry, lovely. Iíve been through a divorce and I know how much it hurts (panda)

06-07-18, 12:17 PM
Don't dread it, there will be better times ahead lovely....

09-07-18, 02:12 PM
Hi, Itís been a difficult time for me recently and the last few days have been particularly upsetting. The one positive point for me is I now know where I stand. One problem is that for the foreseeable future my wife and I need to share the marital home. I think we can deal with things amicably but I do find it tough at times.

Iím meeting my sister this evening for a chat. She recently went through a divorce and Iím sure sheíll understand how I feel and impart some sympathy and sound advice.

Iím a bit battered and bruised but Iím still here looking forward and not back (most of the time).

09-07-18, 04:44 PM

09-07-18, 05:29 PM
Looking forward is incredibly hard when you're in the midst of something so painful, but it's so important. You are doing brilliantly.

09-07-18, 10:17 PM
Drew that's good you're managing to keep looking forward, hope the chat with your sister went well.

10-07-18, 09:13 PM
For me today was a quiet day. The most exciting thing to happen was the chap from the local council visiting to deal with a wasps nest. However the positive of the day was that my negative thoughts seemed fewer and further apart. Iíd be happy to have a few more Ďquiet daysí.

10-07-18, 09:19 PM
Quiet days are definitely OK!

10-07-18, 09:26 PM
However the positive of the day was that my negative thoughts seemed fewer and further apart. í.

Thatís just awesome!

11-07-18, 11:17 AM
For me today was a quiet day. The most exciting thing to happen was the chap from the local council visiting to deal with a wasps nest. However the positive of the day was that my negative thoughts seemed fewer and further apart. I’d be happy to have a few more ‘quiet days’.

That's brilliant less negative thoughts and farther apart has to be a big plus.

11-07-18, 02:08 PM
How are you today?

11-07-18, 04:04 PM
I think Iím doing quite well. I still get the occasional negative thought and worry about the past but in general Iím plodding on. Iím still not enthused about the future but Iím dealing with things as they happen.

One problem on the horizon is my wife will be moving back home later today and will be here for the foreseeable future. Itís all very amicable but Iíve found it a bit of a strain when sheís about. Iíve asked her to agree to a house rule that we donít rake over the past and hopefully that will help.

My positive thought for the day is - Iím dealing with things as they happen and my ability to concentrate seems to have returned.

11-07-18, 08:50 PM
I know it doesn't feel like you're doing well, but you really are. Step by step, minute by minute if you have to, but you are still moving forward....

12-07-18, 06:21 PM
Another quiet day for me. I had a long chat to the local therapy team and theíve put me on the waiting list for counselling but thereís a couple of months until they can help. I guess itís self help and talking to family and friends until then.

Iím on my way to town for an evening with my brother. Iímlooking forward to a few beers and some tapas, itíll make a nice change from microwaved fare.

12-07-18, 10:03 PM
It's good that you're being put on the list - I know it feels like such a long way off, but it really will be worth it. I'm glad you're going out to get something to eat with your brother. Hope you have a really good time.

13-07-18, 04:01 PM
Drew hope you had a good evening with your brother :)

13-07-18, 06:51 PM
I thoroughly enjoyed my evening out yesterday and that helped me start the day in a fairly positive mood. Nothing of note to report for positives or negatives but thatís fine by me.

13-07-18, 08:55 PM
Even and balanced is good lovely.. How's your mood?

13-07-18, 09:29 PM
My mood is still generally low but not as negative as it was a week ago. I still have a fairly low opinion of myself and canít seem to be enthusiastic about the long term future but Iím dealing with things hour by hour, day by day. It seems as though Iím existing rather than living, treading water rather than swimming.

Everyone tells me there is a good future out there for me and time will heal my wounds but having failed to deal with my depression for so many years Iím still not convinced this time will be different

On the positive side Iím still here and still fighting and I recognise I have made some progress since my meltdown.

14-07-18, 11:42 AM
Treading water right now is good. You will get through this hour by hour is fine lovely...

14-07-18, 11:52 AM
You're fighting it and making progress yes there will be setbacks along the way but as you say your mood is less negative than a week ago which is a big plus, I've found from personal experience it is a long hard journey but you'll reach a point when good days outnumber bad ones and the time between bad days increases. There is no magic wand but you're getting there.

14-07-18, 06:13 PM
I had the house to myself for most of the day and I decided it was going to be a Ďme dayí. Iíve been watching the cricket and Tour de France while reading the news and twitter. Iíve eaten when I wanted and what I wanted and my appetite was the better for it.

One of the articles I read was https://themighty.com/2017/06/depression-guilt-wasting-time/ and it struck a chord with me - at times I do feel guilty about being depressed. Luckily I find getting out of bed and distracting myself helps me stop thinking negatively but I can sympathise with the thought ĎNobody should be made to feel bad about having a mental illness, but I bring this guilt upon myselfí. I guess knowing the enemy is a major part of fighting the everyday battle and eventually the war.

I have found out a great deal about myself in the past few weeks. Itís not all good but itís not all bad either, I tís work in progress.

14-07-18, 06:23 PM
It strikes a chord with me too the number of times I've said tomorrow I'll do that or that and when tomorrow comes all I do is stay in bed or sleep on the sofa. Yes knowing the enemy gives you something to fight against.

14-07-18, 10:31 PM
i think that it's great that you have had a day where you can be in control. I think it's a great thing that you can stop and see the good things - as well as the bad which tend to be the only ones that you can see when things are rough...

15-07-18, 07:46 PM
My mobility was a bit difficult today if I do too much my back and legs get more painful. As I have an appointment with the Independent Living Partnership tomorrow I thought it best to have a quiet day again. Hopefully the partnership will come up with all kinds of tools, aids and advice to help me fend for myself.

Strangely, the dark thoughts I hoped I was beginning to conquer seem to have returned today. Iíll take it as a reminder that itís a long road to recovery and I canít expect to beat depression in a few short weeks.

My positive thought for the day is that Iím beginning to make medium/long term plans for my future away from my current home. Iím still not enthusiastic about living by myself but Iím putting effort into finding alternative accommodation.

15-07-18, 08:33 PM
I thoroughly enjoyed my evening out yesterday and that helped me start the day in a fairly positive mood. Nothing of note to report for positives or negatives but thatís fine by me.

Our moods swing, in all of us, including all those who donít struggle with depression. So yes, today, the dark thoughts are there but just a couple of days ago this was your post. Youíre doing brilliantly

15-07-18, 10:23 PM
You have to remember, you didn't get poorly overnight, so overnight won't fix it either.. You have to be kind and patient..

16-07-18, 08:15 PM
A busier day today and Iím the better for it. The Independent Living Partnership were very helpful and will be helping me with walking aids and advice regarding my housing needs. I felt more positive coming out of our meeting than before I went in. Later I had a drive in the countryside and called to see my parents on the way home. The day goes so much more quickly when youíre busy.

Positive thought for the day - I must try to get out of the house at least once a day.

16-07-18, 08:32 PM
Drew looks like you had a very positive day and getting out of the house at least once a day is a good goal.

16-07-18, 08:48 PM
Thatís a great aim to have, especially with the beautiful weather

16-07-18, 09:31 PM
Those are so positive! I'm sorry, what issues do you have walking?

17-07-18, 12:23 AM
I have a long term back problem where a curve in the lower spine has trapped nerves. This causes inflammation, pain and weakness if I stand or walk for very long.

17-07-18, 08:25 AM
I sympathise. I (and other members here) have degenerative disc disease. I also have scoliosis, osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia amongst other diagnoses.. I have a walking aid - he's called Wally lol and my husband customised another for when we go anywhere off track called Eva!

How are you today?

17-07-18, 03:47 PM
Today I feel quite positive. Iím hopeful I may have solved my housing problems and if so it will be the start of my new future. I should have more to report in the next day or so.



17-07-18, 05:36 PM
Thatís fantastic!

17-07-18, 05:37 PM
That's brilliant Drew *crosses everything that your housing problems are solved*

17-07-18, 08:28 PM
Oh Drew that's fantastic! I'm so pleased for you!

17-07-18, 08:58 PM
My negative side says Ďyou havenít done it yetí but I live in hope - thatís positive thinking!

17-07-18, 09:09 PM
It's positive that you've even tried to make some forward steps with it...

18-07-18, 10:57 PM
Iím pleased to report another steady day. There were no great highs or lows and Iím happy with that.

19-07-18, 08:58 AM
Well done lovely! You're doing brilliantly!

19-07-18, 09:18 AM
Steady is great :)

19-07-18, 09:26 AM
Steady is good, well done :)

19-07-18, 05:48 PM
A big positive today! Iíve just picked up the keys for my new home. Itís a lovely little bungalow with all the things I need and Iím really pleased. There are a few challenges as it is unfurnished and only has underlay on the floors but if Iím looking for distractions itíll keep me busy for a while.

I feel a glass of my best red wine is in order.😀

19-07-18, 07:45 PM
Wow that's marvelous and is certainly a big positive.

19-07-18, 09:08 PM
Oh wow!! Congratulations! That's a huge positive!

Have you tried freecycle for furniture etc?

19-07-18, 09:10 PM
Thatís wonderful news! Congratulations (party)

19-07-18, 09:12 PM
The big lesson for me is that there is help out there if you ask.

Thanks for the suggestion. There are a number of charity organisations who offer good quality second hand furniture and I’m going to seek their help.

20-07-18, 07:34 PM
After yesterdayís news today was filled with beginning the preparations for my move. It was good to be busy but I have some mixed feelings about leaving the house I always wanted.

My mood continues to be largely steady with no great swings up or down but I canít seem to find anything enjoyable. I know Iíve made progress but sometimes I have the feeling Iím just plodding. On the other hand I guess Ďslow but steady wins the raceí.

20-07-18, 09:20 PM
There's no reason why your new house can't be the house of your dreams lovely...

21-07-18, 10:20 PM
I wonít be sharing my positive thought of the day itís best left unsaid but it has made me feel a little more positive about myself. I feel a little less weight on my shoulders.

21-07-18, 10:57 PM
Well that's intriguing! Whatever it is I'm glad it's a positive for you!

21-07-18, 11:15 PM
Nothing particularly intriguing, itís just people/relationship issues. I think Iíve been beating myself up about things that I could not influence. Iím learning a great deal about myself - some of it is good, some of it is not and some is confusing.

22-07-18, 09:52 AM
I think that actually working out the not so good stuff about ourselves is just as important....

23-07-18, 09:54 PM
Confidence has been a rare commodity in my recent life and I was pleased to be able to visit my solicitorsí today and be decisive about what I wanted to happen. My attitude wasnít negative about my divorce but it was positive about the future I want. The negative thoughts are still there but Iím continuing to challenge them with positive mental attitude. The battle continues.

Tomorrow brings visits from the carpet people to measure and fit flooring for my new home. Iím looking forward to it! Now thatís positive.

23-07-18, 10:16 PM
Thatís an amazing post!

23-07-18, 10:31 PM
That post is phenomenal!

24-07-18, 12:38 AM
Iím not amazing or phenomenal Iím just trying hard. Iíve done it before and still not sorted the underlying issues and thatís the bit that worries me. Previously Iíve managed to convince myself and others Iím dealing with my problems but at the end of the day Iíve ended up masking the issues rather than addressing them. I really hope this time it will be different but I still have this nagging doubt.

24-07-18, 08:50 AM
Day by day Drew, thatís all you can do

24-07-18, 11:07 AM
All you can do is keep putting one metaphorical foot in front of the other.. You are amazing and you are phenomenal because you are working hard to fight how you have been feeling for a long time and you are making very definite positive changes. That's amazing.

Happy carpet measuring and fitting day!

24-07-18, 10:24 PM
Being busy is my positive thought for the day. Today I havenít really stopped and I had little or no time to dwell on my problems and fears. Tonight Iím so tired I think Iíll sleep soundly without a pill.

24-07-18, 11:16 PM
How did the carpet go today?

25-07-18, 12:16 AM
The carpet will have to be ordered but Iím told it can be delivered and fitted within a couple of days.

25-07-18, 07:52 AM
Thatís good going, normally it take my local lot weeks to deliver and fit ;)

25-07-18, 08:37 AM
That's really fast! Hooray!

25-07-18, 10:27 AM
Wow that's quick you'll soon have a new carpet.

25-07-18, 09:38 PM
Iíve just found out the carpets will be more like a week but that fits in with my plans. Today was another busy day of planning and implementing my move. I continue to have mixed feelings about leaving my current home but Iíve started to appreciate itís for the best.

Tomorrow Iíll be making my first foray into socialising for some time. Iíve joined a local dining group and Iíll be joining 11 others for a meal and chat. Iím not sure whether Iíll be nervous, excited or both. The group meet regularly for various events so hopefully it will be the start of something positive for me.

26-07-18, 12:02 AM
Those are both massive positives! Well done!

26-07-18, 10:36 PM
Just back from a lovely evening out, my first social event since my meltdown. The local dining group made me very welcome and I enjoyed the company, conversation and food. Iíve been invited to a number of future events and decided to join them for Sunday lunch in a few weeks time. If things go according to plan it will be the first full weekend in my new home and it will be nice to get out rather than eat alone.

I can recommend an app called Meetup to find groups involved in a wide range of events near you. I wasnít too confident when I joined the group and had second thoughts up until today but Iím glad I made the effort.

26-07-18, 10:51 PM
I can't tell you what a great big smile I've got after reading your post! Well done lovely!

27-07-18, 06:13 AM
Thatís incredible! Well done :)

27-07-18, 06:51 PM
I think my back has decided that yesterday evening was a bad idea but I disagree. A few words of thanks from me to my hosts last night bought a flurry of positive replies and any discomfort today was worth it.

Apart from a visit to see the nurse for a foot wound I had a quiet day and enjoyed watching the Tour de France both for the cycling and trying to recognise places Iíve visited. Tonight Iím sitting next to a fan with a cool drink and listening some classical guitar music by a chap named Fernando Sor (1778 Ė 1839) bliss.

My moving date will be 9th. August and Iíll be having a virtual house warming if youíd like to join in. If you have nothing better to do open a bottle of something you like and make small talk online 😂 (subject to wi-fi being installed).

27-07-18, 08:41 PM
That sounds like an awesome idea! (party)

27-07-18, 08:57 PM
Fancy dress is optional😂

27-07-18, 10:07 PM
Sounds fantastic!

28-07-18, 08:47 PM
Following a busy week I decided today was going to be Ďme-timeí. Iíve had the house to myself and spent the day reading and watching cricket on the TV. I havenít been eating properly for a while so I made sure I had plenty of veg with my fish pie.

My good turn for the day was sorting out and updating my wifeís laptop. It helps her, makes me feel useful and adds a positive to my self esteem. Our relationship has changed, weíve moved on from the separation and weíre are getting along well - itís taken away a great deal of the strain. I think looking towards my move to my new home has helped to keep me busy and focussed on the future and not the past.

Part of my reading for today included an article which dealt with forgiving yourself for past mistakes and seeing it as a learning experience and not a failure. Iím not 100% convinced but do recognise Iíve been beating myself up about things I couldnít influence. Itís a start.

28-07-18, 10:03 PM
That's a post so full of positives!

28-07-18, 10:46 PM
Iím trying hard but as Iíve been advised before, baby steps and donít expect too much too soon.

29-07-18, 11:01 AM
Exactly, baby steps are so important..

29-07-18, 10:22 PM
A quiet day today mainly due to an upset tummy which needed regular visits to the smallest room. Iím feeling better now and looking forward to my new fridge being delivered tomorrow.

29-07-18, 10:55 PM
Hope youíre feeling better tomorrow, love

29-07-18, 10:57 PM
Glad you're through the worst of it.. Make sure you rehydrate properly...
Hooray for the new fridge!

30-07-18, 11:49 PM
My new fridge and cooker have been installed and I have a new kettle and a toaster. It feels like Iím getting somewhere. Carpets and measuring for blinds on Thursday and furniture to be moved in a week later.

Iím feeling quite good about myself I couldnít have organised my new home like this a month ago. Itís at times like this you realised that all the baby steps have added up. I havenít won my battle with depression yet but I think Iím on a gentle spiral upwards rather than the long journey I suffered going downwards.

My daily ramblings have been a great help. They have forced me into finding and making positives. Thanks for listening and caring.

31-07-18, 08:43 AM
Itís been lovely to see how youíre increasingly able to see the good in your life :)

31-07-18, 09:04 AM
I guess I couldnít see the wood for the trees but Iíve just looked back at my messages and realise how far Iíve come. Iím now looking forward to moving!

31-07-18, 12:29 PM
It's been so brilliant to see that change in you and your thought processes...

01-08-18, 12:19 AM
I really enjoyed this evening. A few drinks with my brother followed by a lovely meal. During the meal I mentioned my hope that Iím moving forward and my brother said heíd seen a big change in me over the past few weeks. It was good to get even more reinforcement that I have made big changes in the way I deal with things.

My brother and other members of my family have been really supportive over the past couple of months and it makes a big difference to how I see myself. I cannot thank him and my other relatives too much for making a difference to my well-being. The lesson is to accept help from others if you can, they often see things more objectively than you and that can improve your own perspective.

01-08-18, 07:48 AM
I completely agree. I donít know where Iíd be without the love and support from my family and friends, including my family here :)

01-08-18, 04:54 PM
That's so amazing!

02-08-18, 12:19 AM
A quiet day for me today, the highlight was a visit to my doctor. She is very happy with my progress since I last saw her about a month ago. My upward spiral continues.

Packing has started for my move next week, itís carpet fitting tomorrow and the bank on Friday - plenty to keep me busy.

02-08-18, 08:23 AM
Thatís fantastic!

02-08-18, 08:51 AM
You're doing wonderfully well. Just enjoy each day as it comes and keep it as simple as possible. Buying brand new stuff for your new abode sounds fantastic! You enjoy every minute of it.

02-08-18, 09:18 AM
That's great, things are going well which must give you a boost.

02-08-18, 09:57 AM
Happy carpet fitting day!

You are doing so well lovely!

02-08-18, 08:58 PM
Carpets fitted and my bungalow is starting to look more like a home. I was I invited in for coffee by my new neighbour who has been good company and very helpful. Iíve decided on vertical blinds and fortunately the blind suppliers wanted to measure up at the same time as the carpets arrived, it saved me another journey.

Off to see the bank tomorrow to change from joint accounts to individual ones. When I first thought about this I was worried it would be a negative but I think it may be a blessing as Iíll know where I stand financially. When I gave up smoking many years ago I bought myself a present after one week, one month and one year without tobacco, I may do something similar for my efforts during the past few weeks. Being constructive and rewarding myself is my the positive for the day.

02-08-18, 11:25 PM
You're doing brilliantly lovely! You certainly deserve treats along the way...

02-08-18, 11:57 PM
You should be so proud of yourself :)

03-08-18, 08:41 AM
All that sounds so positive, individual accounts is a better arrangement so you know where you are financially, I think we all deserve little rewards.

04-08-18, 12:25 AM
Bank accounts sorted. I thought it may be a little difficult but it was fairly painless and sorted within an hour or so. From my point of view it was a big positive as I now know where I stand. They even sorted the direct debits which I thought I may have to deal with myself. I feel Iíve made a clean break and Iím looking forward to my new life when I move in next week.

Groceries have been ordered for next Thursday evening in time for my virtual house warming. A choice of wines and some nibbles including olives, marinated anchovies, a selection of cheeses and crusty sourdough breads will be available at my end but please feel free to join in as you prefer.

Your support is very much appreciated. I look forward to my daily ramblings as it improves my focus and makes me look for positives in my life. Thank you all for taking the time to respond, your messages make a big difference. I only hope that in the future I can do the same for others.

04-08-18, 10:45 AM
Woohoo! I'm looking forward to your party! I'll bring the gin and the hummus ;)

You really are doing really well. I'm so glad the bank accounts were easily sorted. As you say, at least now you know where you stand and that you can work on a what you have, rather than what you think you have kind of basis..

04-08-18, 02:15 PM
Go steady with the hummus😂

04-08-18, 04:00 PM
Whoís DJing?

04-08-18, 04:13 PM
Iím not sure but if anyone has suggestions for appropriate music for a playlist let me know. Iím showing my age but my first song for the night is ďDonít stop thinking about tomorrowĒ (Fleetwood Mac).

04-08-18, 04:50 PM
Good on you sorting out your bank accounts, as for music I've always liked Sultans of Swing (Dire Straits) (party)

04-08-18, 10:47 PM
You can NEVER have too much hummus! :)

May I recommend some classics?



04-08-18, 11:18 PM
Thanks Suzi and Mike weíll include your recommendations. I need a floor filler, what do you need to make you shake your thing? Suggestions from all are welcome.

One more from me: People Like Us by Kelly Clarkson https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWbMz_aBlMU

05-08-18, 11:16 AM
It's going to be the party to end all parties ;)

06-08-18, 02:07 PM
The big move is taking up much of my time and Iím pleased to report things seem to be going well and Iím dealing with any problems as they arise. I feel more laid back than I have done for years.

Iím hoping to get to the local hospice shop later. They sell donated furniture for reasonable prices to help fund two childrenís hospices so itís a double benefit to buy from them. Iím looking for a drop leaf table, a chair or two and a small wardrobe to complete the furnishings for my new home.

The packing isnít much fun but itís going to result in the start of my new life so itís a good job done. Iím generally too busy to have negative thoughts but they do seem to attack when I first go to bed and when Iím waking up in the morning. I feel the mindfulness strategies help by steering me back to a more balanced view.

06-08-18, 10:29 PM
That's such a positive post!

07-08-18, 06:03 PM
Iíve sorted out the missing furniture with drop leaf table, chairs and a wardrobe all for £105 including delivery and a worthwhile charity benefits too.

Iím still a little nervous about going out into the world as a single person for the first time in forty years but on the other hand Iím curious as to what is out there waiting for me. Iím sure there will be hiccups along the way but this time instead of seeing these as a failure Iím going to accept I canít win them all. If I can hit 80/20 Iíll be more than happy.

Get your dancing shoes on and get ready for Thursday night 💃 💃...

07-08-18, 09:44 PM
Youíre doing brilliantly! As someone on crutches, I love the idea of virtual dancing :)

07-08-18, 09:55 PM
You on crutches, me on two sticks doing Dirty Dancing! Just a shame nobody will see how good we are.

07-08-18, 10:36 PM
I can virtual dance brilliantly, my walker and I can dance together! I'm so looking forward to it! :)

08-08-18, 12:01 AM
Iím looking forward to it. Just be gentle😀

08-08-18, 10:03 AM
We're always gentle.... Except for Paula, she's meanly awesome on the dancefloor, just make sure she only has 1 babycham ;)

08-08-18, 11:50 AM

09-08-18, 01:36 PM
Well, Iíve moved in! There are boxes everywhere but I have a functioning kitchen, bathroom and bedroom. Just putting my feet up to gather strength for tonightís party. I think Iíll be starting with olives and a g&t just after Sainsburyís deliver my groceries at about 7pm. My first music set will be an album from Dave Brubeck - a little jazz...nice. Iíll catch you party animals later 🎉

09-08-18, 02:47 PM
Congratulations (party)

09-08-18, 08:34 PM
A gentle start to the evening with just a few nibbles a gin and tonic. No sign of any whirling dervishes fuelled on Babysham so far but the night is still young.

09-08-18, 10:05 PM
Woohoo!!!! Happy moving day!!!!! *hands round gin and nibbles*

09-08-18, 10:17 PM
Still here and Iíve got my second wind. Now how does that break dancing go? The buffet will be served shortly...

09-08-18, 11:01 PM
*turns up the music*

09-08-18, 11:47 PM
Sorry itís not a loud at this party. Headphones?

10-08-18, 08:47 AM
I'm so sorry I appear to have fallen asleep on your sofa! Thanks for a great party! :)

How was your first night in your new home? Did you sleep well?

10-08-18, 09:35 AM
Howís your head? I slept very well. It was very quiet and very dark. Strangely enough all my previous homes have had a lamppost immediately outside and a nearby road with through traffic so this is a bit of a change but I like it.

I was hoping for a quiet day today but I have deliveries and blinds fitted this morning, visitors this afternoon and wi-fi to sort. Iím not complaing though, keeping busy is good for me.

10-08-18, 10:38 AM
Oh my word! Iím so sorry, I laid down on my bed for 2 seconds when getting dolled up and didnít get any further than that! What a damp squib I am!!

10-08-18, 01:54 PM
I think you must have had a Babycham while you were getting ready. Sorry to have missed out on your awesome dance moves😃

10-08-18, 10:44 PM
Hey, we'll have to have another party! Paula loves to get dressed up in her ra ra skirt and legwarmers ;)

10-08-18, 11:09 PM
How very 1980ís. Personally Iím a child of the 70ís and my glam rock outfit would make Bowie look plain.

Hey Suzi whatís your era? No cheating😂

I see Mike as the man who did the Isle of Wight Festival in the 60ís complete with psychedelics and a knowing smile😉

11-08-18, 08:19 AM
Proof ;)

https://image.ibb.co/jHZD0p/84_B72_BF6_6_FDB_4_E1_F_B058_5_EBA6917_C590.jpg (https://imgbb.com/)

11-08-18, 08:26 AM
Just how I imagined you.

11-08-18, 12:03 PM
Your insight into Mike is about spot on! :)

Me? 'Fraid I'm an 80's era too but far less glam! :)

11-08-18, 01:13 PM
I think I found an old photo of you https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/11/12/article-2502837-195DE5E400000578-320_634x945.jpg

11-08-18, 04:05 PM
No, much more


I started secondary school in '89 and then saw out the 90's.... in long skirts and DM's......

11-08-18, 04:08 PM
I am now feeling very old...

11-08-18, 04:12 PM
Bet you're no where near as old as you think you are ;)

11-08-18, 04:46 PM
In my mind Iím still 28 years old however my body tells a different story.

11-08-18, 05:03 PM
Hey, my body tells me that I'm somewhere around 875..... on a good day....

11-08-18, 05:11 PM
I don't feel old till I start gardening or walking up a hill or glimpse my reflection in a shop window (giggle)

11-08-18, 06:47 PM
Hey, this is supposed to be ĎPositive Thought for the Dayí😂. On that subject;

ďJust remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. (Charles M Schultz)

11-08-18, 11:04 PM

12-08-18, 08:15 PM
I enjoyed my Sunday lunch with the local dining group today. It was at a pub I first drank in over 40 years ago, itís been extended but it still brought back plenty of memories. I decided to join the group when people suggested I get out and socialise more. Iím pleased I did and despite some initial nervousness Iíve found they are people just like me, we have the same problems and needs.

I took another look at my diary today. I still find it quite amazing how far Iíve come in a couple of months - people told me it could be done but at first I couldnít/wouldnít believe it. Iíve still a long way to go but having seen my journey so far I have more confidence for the future. The other obvious point is that Iíve let other people help me rather than proudly or shyly thinking I could do it for myself as I had done during previous crisis episodes.

As my confidence has improved and things are looking far more positive Iím going to gradually reduce my daily thoughts. Iíll still comment from time to time especially when anything major happens. In the meantime, thanks for your help and tolerance, it has been a greater help than you may appreciate.

12-08-18, 08:30 PM
It's been lovely getting to know you!
I think it's been amazing seeing the changes in you and the way you look at things...

12-08-18, 10:18 PM
Weíre here whenever you want to talk, lovely :)

19-08-18, 12:59 AM
Youíll never know how much you all helped me in my darkest times. My rehabilitation continues and Iím pleased to say life is getting better every day. Iím settled in my new home (unlike some of my bills) and I really feel a new chapter of my life has begun.

My positive for the week is that for the first time in months Iíve listened to one of my favourite albums without getting upset and morbid. This may not seem like much but if you have chance to listen to Curtis Stigerís ĎLetís Go Out Tonightí youíll appreciate how far Iíve come.

Yesterday as a follow up to my contact with the Crisis Team someone called to ask whether I still needed counselling. I told them Iíd tried to do this on my own before and failed so I was going to accept any help I was offered to make sure it doesnít happen again.

If ever I can help anyone who is suffering in the same desolate place I found myself please let me know. A few kind and supportive words helped me and Iíve no doubt it will help others.

Tomorrow I shall be mostly spoiling myself. A lie-in, a late brunch followed by the sport on TV and grazing from the fridge. Sometimes Ďme timeí is just the thing to make you feel better. Iíll pay the price with abstinence next week. Feel free to join me just remember Ďeverything In moderation, including moderationí!

19-08-18, 09:31 AM
Just been catching up on your last couple of posts and they're so positive, me time is always good, enjoy your lie in, brunch and TV sport :)

19-08-18, 11:35 AM
That's such a positive post!!! It's so brilliant that you're even building in "self care" time too!

31-08-18, 09:51 PM
Hello All, Just a quick update to my journey of dealing with depression. My new home is still keeping me busy and this week Iíve also had two outings with the local dining group, a quiz night and an Italian meal. The group have been so welcoming and supportive Iím sorry I didnít find them sooner. I can recommend the MeetUp app and website. There are lots of groups out there and thereís likely to be one to suit you.

Iím feeling better than I have for many years and Iím looking forward to the future far more than brooding on the past. I think the positive thoughts of the day really helped me. At first the negatives outweighed the positives but with the support of DWD I began to realise I was making progress. I was in the darkest of places when my meltdown happened and I didnít want a future. With the help of my local Crisis Team, my doctor, my friends, family and DWD I continue to move forward. My depression hasnít been cured and I still get the occasional negative mood but I now find it easier to deal with than when I was without hope.

If there is one thing I have learned in my journey it is to accept all the help you can get. I used to think I could do it by myself and thatís why I kept on failing. In my case opening up and being honest with my doctor was the most important first step.

Keep on fighting, youíre worth the effort.

31-08-18, 10:20 PM
Hey you! That post has made me cry! Thank you so much for checking in and letting us know how you are doing - I do think about every member we've ever had... Thank you! I'm so very thrilled that things are going well for you x

31-08-18, 10:28 PM
What an amazing post!

31-08-18, 10:48 PM
If itís an amazing post itís because Suzi, Mike and yourself were a vital part of my journey. As Iíve said before, youíll never know how much you helped me. You should be proud of what you are doing and what you have done. Keep up the good work and let me know if I can help in any way.

P.S. Did anyone leave any underwear at my virtual house warming? I found a diamantť thong in the drawing room.

31-08-18, 10:51 PM
Iíve just remembered whoís known as Princess Sparkles😂

01-09-18, 08:44 AM
(blush) sorry about that!

01-09-18, 09:12 AM
Hey I wear diamante underwear too, mmmm wonder if these are mine (giggle)

01-09-18, 10:03 AM
Well they aren't mine...... Thank you for your kind words. I am proud of what we do here! I'm lucky to have an amazing team around me both here and on the FB page...

30-10-18, 08:46 PM
Hi All, I thought Iíd check in with an update. Life is bumbling along and Iím generally happy, getting out and about and enjoying social events. That sounds good but the negatives are still lurking and I know it will be a constant battle to stop them getting a grip. Iím still waiting for counselling, everyone tells me it will be a great help but Iím starting to wonder whether Iíll have to fight on alone. I will keep on fighting, Iím determined not to let this happen to me again but it can be a lonely battle. I suppose at the end of the day itís my war and I need to win it in my own mind.

Thanks for all your help. Keep up the great work.

30-10-18, 08:57 PM
Hi! Glad things are going well!

Keep hanging on in there for the counselling. I know it's a long wait, but I know myself that actually it's always been a really positive thing for me.