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RCC
15-06-18, 01:10 AM
Hi there,

This is my first post and im hoping to get some tips on how other people cope on really bad days. A bit of background:

My mum passed away a few months ago (after fighting her medical illness for most of my life) we have known and accepted she was on borrowed time and once there was no option of life saving treatment she made the decision to stop any further treatment. We respected this and she wanted to donate her body to medical science to try and give back or help someone else through research etc. I have great respect for this but we didnt have a proper funeral, just a memorial which hasnt really given me real closier I guess. While we knew her time was coming to an end for a long time it has hit me like ton of bricks. I developed anxiety in crowed places or if I gpt really stressed about something I would start to panic.
When i attempted to go back to work I had a lot of issues with management and ended up being off with stress for over a month. During this time I spiraled downwards, I would barely move off my sofa and couldnt function without having a list of things to do that day (and sometimes even that didnt help). I felt like i had cabin fever but i also didnt want to go outside.
I am now back at work but i dont feel like i can stay there (in a job i love) so im just feeling lost all the time. I dont know what im doing with my life now and i get really upset at the thought of having to leave my job but i also dont feel i can stay there because of hpw upper management treat me (and the staff) on a daily basis. This causes me to have panic attacks as i get so worked up over it and also anxiety induced insomnia (which i know doesnt help woth the depression or anxiety issues)
So between trying to deal with the death of my mother, the stuff with work and not sleeping right i just feel lost all the time and i cant seem to drag myself up out of it for days.
I also feel guilty that my husband is trying to help me (Ive told him everything and dont lie about how im feeling each day), but a lot of the time my answers are 'i dont know' and that frustrates the hell out of me so god knows how hes managing to deal and cope with me everyday.

This is both mentally and physically exhusting that im so all over the place all the time. So my question is does anyone recpgnose when they start to feel low and manage to break the downward spiral but doing something?
Im not taking any medications and would rather not go down that road after seeing other family members struggle on them. Are there any natural remedies that could help calm me or help me sleep? (nightol is becoming less effective now)

Sorry for the long post but any adivce would be appreciated.
Thank you

Jaquaia
15-06-18, 08:17 AM
Hi and welcome. I'm sorry about your mum (panda) The first thing you need to do is go and speak to your GP. They can refer you on to talking therapies which may help. There are also things they can give you for the anxiety. I'm on propranolol. It helps reduce the physical symptoms which makes the anxiety a lot easier to deal with. It's actually a beta-blocker so nothing like an antidepressant. It may be worth discussing an option like that? A lot of us also use things like meditation, grounding techniques and distractions, it's a case of finding what works for you. There are lots of resources on the forum :)

Suzi
15-06-18, 08:32 AM
Hi and welcome. I also am sorry about your Mum, but she's done an amazing thing by donating her body - although I know that doesn't make it any easier for you.
Losing a parent is terrible and if affects every part of your life, so please don't underestimate how much this can be affecting you. Have you spoken to a bereavement counsellor - organisations like CRUSE are amazing.

I agree with Jaq, the best option to access so many therapies is to go via your GP. Go and talk to them and tell them what you've told us.

OldMike
15-06-18, 08:38 AM
Hi RCC (hi)

I'm so sorry about of the loss of your mother.

I know when my father died, he'd been suffering from liver cancer and we new his time was near yet it came as a terrible shock and took a long while to get over.

Medication does help as do talking therapies but you need to see your doctor and discuss it with him/her and take from there.

Jaq's post above gives you some very good pointers.

Edit:
I've just read Suzi's post and bereavement counselling such as Cruse are a considerable help.

Paula
15-06-18, 10:16 AM
Hi and welcome (hi). I’m so sorry for your loss, and for the difficulties it’s left you with. Are you close with your family? Can you talk to them?

There are many options for support but you will need to see your doctor to access most of them. If you really don’t want ADs, then tell your GP you want to talk about alternative options. However, we all react differently to medication and just because you know people that have struggled with ADs does not mean you will - it may be exactly what you need. Also, any side effects you may have may be easier to tolerate than dealing with how you feel right now. Can I ask you to try to keep an open mind?

RCC
15-06-18, 10:49 AM
Thanks everyone,

I am seeing a councillor at the moment which im not sure is helping 100 % but its a set amount of sessions via my work so im looking for another one privately for when it finishes next week. My doctors have been great, I had a bad panic attack a couple days ago and thwy asked me to come in straight away so they could check my blppd pressure and give me a once over as it was still affecting me the next day. was quite scary.
I know AD do work for some people and thats great Id just personally rather not gp down that road unless I have too....dont feel like im there yet. I will look into Cruse so thanks for that and all the other advice

Suzi
15-06-18, 10:59 AM
Don't feel you have to go down the meds route, just try not to rule it out completely...
Your Drs sound brilliant! Do keep talking, it does really help.

magie06
15-06-18, 01:03 PM
It's a great step to keep in touch with your doctors. They know you best and can be the stepping stones to other services.

lucymiller11
17-06-18, 09:24 AM
Hi and welcome! I'm sorry for the loss of your mother. I can really relate to your situation since I have been experiencing depression for quite a while now and when it hits you, anxiety and stress comes in like a domino effect. Good thing I've searched a natural and healthy way on how to cope up with anxiety and stress. Lastly, I would suggest that you should to talk to people more often and don't stay at home. I hope this would help you.

Suzi
17-06-18, 12:38 PM
Hi Lucy, welcome to DWD. It'd be great if you started a thread to let us welcome you properly and so we have a chance to get to know you! Only when you feel ready though!