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Suzi
13-02-12, 10:47 PM
It always helps if you can get to know a bit of the "back story" from the team..


This is the team in their current positions

Suzi - Site Owner + Admin

Aspasia - Assistant Admin
Jarre - Assistant Admin
Paula - Assistant Admin

MaraUT - Moderator
Lostfriend - Moderator
Angie - Moderator
Magie - Moderator
Jaquaia - Moderator
Flo - Moderator
OldMike - Moderator

Marc - Techie Crew
Watson - Techie Crew

Emmie - Original Team*
Mummyhill - Original Team*

* Special Team = Not quite retired team members who can arrive in a flash of gold spangled coloured capes and use their magic powers ;)

Correct as of 20th June 2018

Suzi
13-02-12, 10:50 PM
A bit about me.. This isn't easy.. Its quite hard to know how much to say!

Im Suzi and I have 3 children (Ben who has Aspergers, Hazel who is a Princess and Fern who is allergic to almost everything!) and a husband, Marc who suffers from "severe clinical depression, severe anxiety and paranoia".
I have been with Marc for over 13 years and have lived through him having a breakdown where he couldn't get out of bed for 3 months or so. I have been there when he told me "I dont know if I love you" and him totally ignoring the sprogs. He "crashed" when I told him that I was pregnant for the 3rd time and he told me "get rid of it". I didn't, but went through the whole pregnancy on my own being the only one excited about anything. It was hell. Now we have good days and bad days, he has had CMHT involvement which has resulted in a CPN coming to see him for an hour every other Wednesday.

Personally I have had PND each time after my children were born which were all very different episodes and not parts of my life I would like to relive.. I have arthritis, and have had to face the prospect and fact that I am losing the use of my right knee, and so I now have to use a stick which took a while to get used to (and has been fully "pimped" by the kids with stickers!). This is not as bad as people have it, and I am just grateful for what I have.

I am a qualified teacher specialising in music and special educational needs, but am currently a full time carer and mum!
I have had many things in my life which have been horrible, but I'm not just going to list them! However, for all the not so good things I wouldn't change them as they are what has made me who I am today. I tend to see the positive in most negative situations, I like to think that I am a brilliant listener, and I'm really good at trying to put things in some sort of order!

I think that's pretty much me in a nutshell, but if you have any questions then please don't hesitate to ask, it's really not easy to offend me!

If you have any issues on the site please let me know. I have been a member of DWD since day I and am incredibly proud of what we do here. DWD was born after a thread on another forum owned and run by a friend of mine where we were discussing that I was finding it really hard living with my then partner (now husband) and not being able to get any understanding of depression or any support at all. Many others who had or lived with someone with depression were also saying similar things, that they had no one to talk to and that they/we all felt so alone. Hence the beginning of DWD.

Mummyhill
14-02-12, 08:54 AM
My Turn.

I have been a member of DWD since 2007 and think this site is a very valuable resource for those with depression, their families and friends.

I am in my thirties and have 3 lovely children.

I have suffered from depressive episodes since my teenage years. Which have varied in intensity. I also have anxiety/panic attacks and have self harmed in the past.

I also suffer from an under active thyroid and when my medication levels are wrong this can also cause depression.

Early episodes stemmed from bullying at school.

I have suffered post natal depression after each of the children. The worst bout of this culminated in a “well meaning” family member calling social services allegedly to help me. After jumping through hoops for social services and my current health visitor I was told that I could keep my children. This has however left me deeply scared. I have panic attacks over what could of happened, I also started self harming again during this time.

I have also seen what depression can do from the other side of the fence. My mother and my grandmothers have suffered from depression/anxiety for as long as I can remember. My father in law also had a break down due to many stresses in his life not long after I had the brush with social services.

I am still under the psychiatrist and I am looking to the future with hope.

Emmie
14-02-12, 09:09 AM
And now me, I'm in my early 30s though if you ask me I'll deny it! And just the one sprog, born Sept 2008. She's, er, interesting ;-)

I was first diagnosed with depression in January 2006 looking back I think I've had depressive episodes since I was 16 but in 2006 it got so bad I couldn't face work, or even leaving the house. My then boyfriend (now my husband) took me to the doctors and I started taking citalopram (which I stayed on for over a year, tbh it didn't work but I thought that perhaps I expected too much. I didn't, it wasn't working!).

My work were less then helpful and after a particularly horendous meeting (where they basically told me I wasn't depressed, I just didn't want to work) I began self harming. It was never a full on habit but it was still hard to break. Unsurprisingly I resigned from the job!

I did a cbt style depression management course and received counselling. I still use the techniques I learned now. I put an incredible amount of work into both courses and really got the benefit from them (and compliments from both my counsellors!)

During my pregnancy I really struggled to keep my anxiety in check so I had another cbt style course, this one focused more on where my anxeity came from. My father is an alchoholic and generally not a nice man. I found it very helpful to see where some of my worries came from and work to combat them.

I have now come through the other side of severe pnd. I was breastfeeding so fought with my doctors to be prescribed something to help and not have to stop bfing. After being referred to a specialist I took fluoxetine and it really helped! I'm now off the medication, I generally feel like I can cope with life but at some point I'm going to have to go back and deal with all the sadness of my pnd. Most of it is locked away somewhere in my brain and a large chunk of my dd's babyhood is completely missing, but I'm plucking up the courage to do that!

I also now run my own business, it's challenging as I take criticism badly and generally worry myself silly! But I genuinely love what I do, and work very hard at it!

Aspasia
16-02-12, 01:55 AM
OK, here goes!

I'm Aspasia, I'm a girl (in case you couldn't work it out from my love of all things purple, panda-related, and pretty!) and I'm in my early thirties.

I'm a qualified teacher of EFL (English as a Foreign Language) and I live and work abroad. I'm currently in Egypt, but my dream destination is Italy! I'm hoping to get back to the UK to do a Master's degree in the next few years.

When in the UK I live in a large-ish village or a small-ish town, depending on how you want to look at it, on the edge of the Peak District, and while I am happy there, I have itchy feet so I'm never there long nowadays - flying visits for major holidays only!

My depression began when I was about 17, although it took me a long time to realise what it was. It was triggered by a combination of factors including academic pressure and an incident of sexual assault from a family member. The repercussions didn't hit me for a while, but eventually manifested as a serious sleeping disorder where I rocketed from insomnia to narcoleptic episodes and back again constantly, leading to poor exam results and major issues in my first year of uni, where I was trying to study French and Latin. I tried taking a year off from uni and managed to get my sleeping (sort of) under control, but even when I went back I wasn't happy so eventually dropped out and went to drama school were I spent two much happier years studying technical theatre. During the early days of my depression, I was on various meds but had bad reactions to most of them, with paranoid episodes and some very out-of-body and disassociate feelings, so I chose to come off the meds and try to cope myself. I was not given access to therapy and in fact my doctor never even used the word "depression" as at the very traditional and prestigious uni I was at it was certainly a "dirty word": we were not supposed to admit weakness. I'd have happily swapped all that prestige for a little bit of humanity and compassion. Another effect of my depression was some very rapid weight gain and I have struggled ever since with weight issues and attached self-esteem issues.

After drama school I spent a couple of years doing theatre work but found that the hours and lifestyle were making me ill again - since my first depression I have never really sorted out my sleep, and sleep less than most people, and I am prone to dizzy episodes and fatigue more easily than I would like. I therefore had to give up theatre and settle for doing the admin work to pay the bills. Not long after this point, when I was very very low, I became involved in a relationship that (with the benefit of hindsight) was emotionally abusive, although again I didn't realise this at the time. I suspect my self-esteem issues blinded me to what was going on, as I was just so grateful anyone was showing interest in me... This was one of the very worst points in my life, and this is when I met the wonderful Suzi on another forum, under another name, and eventually she persuaded me to come here for help, and I am so very glad I did. I can't put into words how much this site has helped me.

Nowadays things are better than they have been in a long time, but I do try to monitor myself constantly as I'm aware I still have black moods that I don't always understand and that seem to come from nowhere, and I'm very sensitive to certain triggers too. I've been losing weight (and plan to keep on trying) and I'm now in a relationship with a man who seems to genuinely care for me, which I'm trying not to be too shocked by! He has his own history of depression, which is both hard for us both and wonderful, as it means we can be very open with one another and know the other person will understand.

.

MaraUT
16-02-12, 02:19 AM
My turn!

I'm a 50+ lady in the USA, enjoying crone-hood as much as I can. I was diagnosed with depression formally in college years ago. Like some people suffering with depression, I have been lucky in that I haven't needed anti-depressants all my life: only in the deepest and blackest of times. That said, I still have days where getting out of bed is a struggle and coping at what most folks believe is a "normal" level is a huge stretch. For me, therapy helped me find the tools I need to combat my own demons.

I came to this website years ago, looking for help to make it from one moment to the next. I found that trying to help other people has helped me heal myself in ways I never would have guessed. There is no magic pill or wand to whisk depression away. No one can do it for us: it's part of our own journey and has to be managed in a personal way. What worked for me might not work for someone else.

In many ways I'm a hippie: I do things to help the Earth, embrace making slow food, garden, preserve food, and work with fiber. I walk a slightly different path than some, espousing Earth and Deity. I believe in love for all with no one neglected or forsaken.

Bright Blessings to you all!

Lostfriend
02-03-12, 07:31 PM
Hello my name is Ray.
I was born in the State of Oregon, that in the U.S.A. for those of you who don't know (rofl)
I haven't had depression but i live with someone that dose, Iam 50+ years old and now live in Utah.
At the age of 20 i join the U.S. Army and was a Scout Sniper for ( 9 years) i have seen action a few times and yes i have PTSD
and have dealing with it for some time.It come and gose just like depression it has it up and downs.
some times it don't take much to trigger it.
My Indian name is soaring eagle giving to me bye chef Bear Claw i spent 3 summer living the just like they do i enjoy it every much .
I like enjoy doing Art work and working with my hands .
I'am a Landscaper bye trade and love to work with the ground. and anything with the earth too.
I'am a tree hugger and yes you could call a Hippie too.

May the Great Spirit walk with you all on your path of life.

Jarre
08-09-12, 08:36 PM
am a 33 year old single male whose life unfortunately has been very harsh in alot of ways. All the way through school, boarding school, college and university I was always a victim to bullying and unfortunately did not have much support from my family in relation to this. I ran away from boarding school twice and was just sent back. The activities were classed by the school as "conditioning" and in the early 90's bullying was still ignored and swept under the carpet. Certain incidents that happened that time still effect me now with confidence, socialising with people and self esteem. One person gave me a chance and helped out my confidence and after one of my nightmares when I was with her suggested I went to counselling at the age of 31, (yes its taken that long to realise I can find some help) I did some counselling session for 4 months at a local NHS centre however looking back on it now, I don't think I gelled enough with the counsellor to be able to open out fully with her. I suffer from abandonment issues caused by certain events in my life. My close friends are the people I really see as family who I have always helped and who do help me. Though I do find myself putting people first all the time as a way of forgetting my own problems.

I am currently on citalapram 40mg dose and have had a course of EMDR (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye_movement_desensitization_and_reprocessing) therapy which helped a little and am due to start CBT in around 6 weeks time. I was getting bullied at work by the director shouting and swearing at me, forcing me to do things I wasn't qualified for or personality was capable of doing, it led to me collapsing at work with stress and my confidence took an extreme nosedive. I quit the job, though thanks to one of the office staff who saw what was going on, she managed to persuade them to make me redundant instead due to the lack of written and verbal recorded evidence I had which would mean an employment tribunal would have failed and I would have lost everything. I am now unemployed and desperately trying to find work to keep me busy.

My friends have been very supportive and keep in touch to see how I am which is well apreicated. I have a spinal condition which limits me in what I can do, I have always battled with it and tried to lead a normal life, however due to medication (now on tramadol) I haven’t been able to drink alcohol since 2000. That in itself has caused a great strain on my social life as you would be amazed how many people judge you and cold shoulder you just because you are not getting wasted on a night out which unfortunately has the effect that it stops you from going out at all as you are afraid of what’s going to happen or how people will treat you.

I am now taking a huge step for me of starting my own business, I have had help form one of my old bosses from my first job as he has passed work to me. I am trying my best now to stem the anxiety and the bad thoughts in my head about how sucessful this venture will be but with all the appointments for my depression and back as well as the new heelers sessions I am now carrying out at a gym, self employment is making it easier to cope with. each day I take in turn, some days I am on a high, others can be quite low but the main thing is I have climbed up the first few rungs to improving myself and mood.

Angie
05-01-13, 05:44 PM
My turn

I am 43 and a mum to 3 wonderful children one is nearly 23 and she is at University one is 16 he is still at school and has dyspraxia and planning on going to college and then train to be a teacher and also have my little princess who is 7.
I have a wonderful partner who will do anything for me and visa versa. I live in South Yorkshire but am originally from Manchester being born and bred there.
I have 2 cats and a dog and a tank of fish.
I was diagnosed with depression over 12 months ago though also do know that I have had it a lot long than that and then told I also have ptsd and I am also still trying to sort out my medication to find the right one for me.
Like many others I had a pretty horrific childhood right through to adulthood and some very bad relationships, have known heartache and pain but have survived,
I work for myself from home making jewelry and am also getting things together to expand in new ways.
I have had a lot of support from my partner and his family and also from this forum which I am eternally grateful for.

Paula
28-02-14, 11:29 PM
Hi (hi), I'm Paula, I'm 40 and have been married to an amazing, supportive man for 12 years. We have 2 daughters (eldest is 16 and youngest is nearly 13), 2 greyhounds and the meanest cat on this planet! Seriously, she bit me the other day just cos I was still in bed!

I have suffered from depression, anxiety and panic attacks since I was 16 but wasn't actually diagnosed until I was 28. One doctor told me he didn't want to put me on ADs cos he didn't want me labelled .... Unlike many, I don't have triggers, my illness is purely a genetic flaw. I am also resistant to medication so need a combination of several psych meds and high doses to have any impact.

I also suffer from an under active thyroid, asthma and am on crutches due to an accident and subsequent permanent nerve damage - all of which impact on my mental health, and is part of the reason why I am never discharged from the Mental Health team. I am unable to work but have come to terms with that and am so grateful that I have immense support from my husband, family and friends.

Being involved with DwD over the last year and a bit has been incredible. The support and care that everybody here shows towards everyone else is just amazing and I really feel blessed to have been asked to join the Mod Team.

magie06
14-08-15, 04:45 PM
Hi there. I'm not sure if this is in the right place but here I go.
My name is Magie and I'm married to the most wonderful man in the whole world. We've been together for about 17 years and I'm totally still in love with him today. We've got one princess, called Aisling who just turned 9, and one goldfish who is about 5 years old.
I was diagnosed with severe psychotic depression about 5 years ago. I take two different antidepressants, which go by different names here. I'm also coming off Valium which I've been takIng constantly for the last 5 years . I also take Lamictal for my bipolar side, and telfast for my allergies, Lyrica as a pain killer, kemadrin to stop the shakes and ranitidite to prevent ulcers. Physically I'm an asthmatic, I've got a wonky back, and I'm allergic to lots of strange things including Latex. This combination of medication works for me so I'm happy enough atm. :)
I found this site almost a year ago and I think it has saved me, more than once. The people here are so kind and helpful, they've been there when some of the other services have shut for the evening or even the weekend. The know what to say and they know when to be quite. I've learned so much about myself and my illness and I've been shown the tools to help turn a bad day into a better one.
That's me in a nutshell. Take it easy.

Jaquaia
24-06-16, 10:34 PM
I never know what to write for anything like this so bear with me!

I'm Jaq, I'm in my early 30's and have recently moved back in with my parents after a relationship breakdown. I'm my mums full time carer but currently don't work due to my poor mental health. I've dealt with my fair share of trauma in my life and I was formally diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was 22, though I think it started earlier. I'm one of those awkward ones who has tried countless antidepressants at varying doses alongside countless cycles of counselling and nothing is working. My gp is currently trying to get the psych team involved.

I'm love all things creative and if I'm not creating things I have my nose in a book. I have to confess to being a Man Utd supporter and love rugby league too, I'm Hull FC through and through. To think, my mum wanted a girly girl (giggle)

Suzi
05-06-17, 09:03 AM
Please note the new staff changes ;)

Flo
24-03-18, 06:06 PM
Hi, I'm Flo and at 65 (a young 65!) I'm one of the oldest of the mods., so you could say that I've been around the block a few times, and on the way have had lots of experiences - a few unwanted ones too! I am an AA old timer and in my 7th year of sobriety went into total meltdown with my first bout of depression. I had a 12 yr old daughter and an 8 yr old son dependent on me. There has been many ups and downs with depression since then. I have been on anti-depressants for 25 yrs, despite several attempts to come off them. But that's ok, and I accept that this illness is here to stay, but that doesn't mean I don't have good and long periods of time in between. Anxiety is also an issue with me because of my lack of confidence. This being due to a lot of mistakes. But I manage to stay afloat from day to day thanks to my family and the friendship, empathy and sense of humour from the rest of the team here. And not forgetting the members of DWD generally. I'm now a grandmother of 4 biological grandchildren plus 3 from my daughter-in-laws previous marriage. I have a lovely husband who is an old hippy. He doesn't pretend to understand depression but is always there for a cuddle all the same. It is what it is. I like to help my fellow sufferers if I can but like everything else in life, you win some and you lose some. Thanks.

OldMike
25-03-18, 03:21 PM
Hi I'm Mike a young 71 ;)

I worked in heavy engineering, large motors, alternators, steam turbine generators, large high voltage switch gear (the size of a small house), in later life I worked as a TV repair engineer.

I live alone which suits me in that I can do what I want, but that can be a double edged sword in the there are times when it would be good to talk to a partner.

I go to a local over 60's lunch club, have meals out with my sister and go to a local bridge club (nerd)

I developed severe depression over 20 years ago and went through hell, but with medication I'm keeping reasonably well stable :)

My hobbies are gardening, eating out, playing bridge, listening to music (classical/rock/country) and playing video games.