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Niffler
01-03-18, 11:38 AM
Hi all,

I’m 32 year old woman, recently came on to the forum and have been chatting to a few of you about my now ex and what I thought was another wobble as he suffers from SAD. I thought I would re-introduce myself properly.

I have been off work now for 2 months due to stress. I have been on Fluoxitine sine last April due to PMS and inability to sleep. But since being off work my doctor upped the dose.

It’s only been a week since our break up but I’m incredibly low. I had upped my dose myself initially as Olathe doctor had advised in the past the amount I could go up to if needed. But I found that caused me headaches. So only did it for 2 days so I’m back to what they prescribed 2 months ago. I am due to see them next week to see if I am ready to go back to work.

Since last week I have been feeling really low and to the point where I feel I don’t want to be here. This only seems to last of an evening and I don’t think it is something I would ever do but that seems to be how low I am and it’s scared me. I am hurting and I know that is normal but I’m not sure this is.

I’m feeling like I’m being melodramatic and this is all in my head and I’m not sure what to do. I keep myself busy and haven’t been to the gym for some time as it feels like pressure if that makes sense?!

Paula
01-03-18, 12:10 PM
Hi Hunni ;). It’s not melodramatic at all. You’re going through a lot of tough stuff right now. Can you bring your appt forward at all?

Niffler
01-03-18, 12:14 PM
My doctors surgery is pretty busy and it’s that doctor that seems to understand so am nervous to see anyone else. I could try and ring but it generally takes 2 weeks to book in.....pain! I’m still due to ring about counselling so if I feel up to it today I will. Today is the first day I have no plans but I’m in the mood to just do nothing and watch a bit of trashy tv

Paula
01-03-18, 02:49 PM
Sometimes, that’s exactly what’s needed

Suzi
01-03-18, 05:55 PM
How are you doing lovely? Did you manage to call at all?

Niffler
01-03-18, 05:58 PM
Couldn’t face calling for counselling today so will try tomorrow. Rang the doctors and they have nothing available at the moment so I have just kept my one for next week. How are you?

Suzi
01-03-18, 06:09 PM
Cold and snotty lol!

Fair enough re Drs - maybe call tomorrow too just to check for a cancellation?

Niffler
01-03-18, 06:13 PM
Yeah might be an idea, you got a cold? I’ve been sat with the curtains drawn all day watching tv. Currently eating my weight in chocolate, no ice cream or terrible renditions of I will survive yet though.....

Suzi
01-03-18, 07:52 PM
Hit the I will survive - it's a healing process ;)
So you haven't been out in the snow then?

Niffler
01-03-18, 08:02 PM
No snow up north, there was a tiny bit yesterday but not enough to even make a few snowballs. It is a healing process I know, just finding it hard to let go at the moment and being single at this age isn’t the same anymore. Dating isn’t like it used to be. I’m old fashioned. Still concerned about the ex as well, spent so long making sure he was ok that I’m finding it hard to believe he’s an arsehole.....but it’s evening again so I’m guessing that’s why I’m getting all anxious...

Paula
01-03-18, 08:05 PM
(panda) it’ll take time but it will ease, I promise

Suzi
01-03-18, 09:25 PM
No snow? Come and share mine lol

Maybe you need to not even think about dating yet...

Niffler
01-03-18, 09:38 PM
I would love to come share a bit of snow :)

It’s not that I’m thinking about dating, I’m just starting to feel crappy again. I can’t seem to control it at night. I feel like a failure and wonder what I did to make him feel pressured and not want to be with me :( seems he couldnt even be honest with me in the end and I don’t know why.

Paula
01-03-18, 09:39 PM
No one can know that, probably not even him. You’re not a failure, lovely, sometimes these things just happen. I’m sorry you haven’t got answers ...

Suzi
01-03-18, 09:43 PM
I can't see why you are a failure and I think he's mad to let you go..

Niffler
01-03-18, 09:51 PM
I’m trying to get past these feelings, I’ve had 2 fluoxetine today and am debating taking another before bed but I’m not sure if you have to take them all together or not.....was going to have a bubble bath but there is no heating in my bathroom and it’s far too cold once you get out. I’ll stay cosy under my blanket for now x

Suzi
01-03-18, 10:01 PM
The thing with any anti d is that they take time so by playing about with your dose today isn't going to make much of a change until 4 weeks or so...

Niffler
01-03-18, 10:02 PM
Ok, thanks Suzi

Paula
01-03-18, 10:41 PM
What dose are you on and how often are you supposed to take them?

Niffler
01-03-18, 10:55 PM
20mg and I’m on 2 a day at the moment....

Suzi
02-03-18, 10:25 AM
When do you take them?

Niffler
02-03-18, 10:26 AM
Usually take them first thing in the morning

Suzi
02-03-18, 11:00 AM
How long have you been on them at that dose? When's your next meds review?

Niffler
02-03-18, 11:03 AM
That dose since the start of January and next week isn’t a mess review but we generally talk about them anyway. Was previously on 1 20 mg a day as I was suffering badly from PMS. The increase since January has been to help with my anxiety about work.

Paula
02-03-18, 11:04 AM
20mg and I’m on 2 a day at the moment....

Ok. Hunni, they’re not like paracetamol where you can take 1 when youve got a headache or up to 8 a day if you’ve got a migraine. Adding an extra dose when you’re feeling worse isn’t the way to use them. You need to take the dose every day that the doctor prescribed and see how it goes over a couple of months - if they’re not helping then you need to go back to your doctor and either change the dose or change the medication, according to the drs prescription.

Suzi
02-03-18, 11:04 AM
Has it helped?

Niffler
02-03-18, 11:18 AM
I noticed when I started on them last April, I was getting extremely emotional over my period for at least 3 days I had no idea what I was so upset about. That helped but I can’t say I’ve noticed a change since the increase....I understand Paula, I’ll talk to them next week.

Suzi
02-03-18, 12:38 PM
Do you take anything else for your PMS? I know a lot of women use Evening Primrose Oil to help - takes a couple of months to get into your system, but it's really helped them.

Niffler
02-03-18, 12:42 PM
Never knew....I just went to the docs with my symptoms. I do take multi-vitamins but I’ll be honest not as regularly as I should. Maybe evening primrose is an idea. I’ve never suffered from it before you see, seems to have been a gradual thing over the past few years.

Paula
02-03-18, 02:47 PM
How are are you? Could that be a factor?

Niffler
02-03-18, 02:56 PM
It’s not a factor at the moment. But this break up has hit me harder than I expected.....luckily that shouldn’t be a factor for a few weeks otherwise I might have been worse. The wanting to not wake up thoughts hit me again last night but I haven’t been out of an evening since it all happened. A friend has invited me round tonight for tea, so I am going as much as I don’t want to. She knows how I’m feeling so hopefully will be ok.

I’m trying so hard to not sink further into this as I feel stupid but maybe I didn’t realise how much of myself I’d given to him, not at all his fault, and maybe that’s why I’m feeling like such a failure......

All ramblings again today guys apologies for that.

Hope you are all doing well and coping with the weather :)

Paula
02-03-18, 03:01 PM
You’re not stupid, lovely

Suzi
02-03-18, 04:23 PM
Definitely not stupid and definitely not rambling x

Niffler
03-03-18, 10:26 AM
Morning all, last night was nice to get out. I found it hard as my friend talks a lot, and all I’ve wanted to do all week is be quiet. She helped me understand a bit more and I feel less of a failure today. Just missing him, and wishing things were different. I hope I helped him in some way.

How is the snow where you are?

Paula
03-03-18, 10:42 AM
I’m so glad your friend was able to help. The missing him will ease with time, love, though you may always have a bit of you that is sore. You’re not a failure, you did everything you could to make it work.

We’ve still got snow here but it’s slightly warmer so hopefully it’s on it’s way out ;)

Niffler
03-03-18, 10:50 AM
Be careful today then :)

Thanks Paula, everyone has scars on their heart I guess. The hardest part is not being there for him and in some ways I feel guilty for that.

Suzi
03-03-18, 11:56 AM
We've all been hurt before and you do move on and you will find someone who treats you like a Princess - how you deserve to be treated.